


In the Eye of the Beholder

by A_Delicious_Torment



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Character Study, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-03-08 19:02:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 75
Words: 149,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18900724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Delicious_Torment/pseuds/A_Delicious_Torment
Summary: Arya Trevelyan wasn't raised like other Mage's. She always knew her strength, and wisdom left her destined to be a bringer of change, just not in the way she had originally thought... or will it be?





	1. In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at actually posting fan-fiction I have written. This story follows a similar story trajectory as the original but does have changes. If you want strict following of the original story, this is probably not a good one to read. I am open to feedback, as I would like to improve my writing skills, just please be kind about it.

It was stormy outside, I could hear the wind howling, rattling the stained-glass windows. Inside, however, was another story. The library was quiet, flickering light and warmth from the stone fireplace filled the room with the comforts I had become to think of as home. In front of me was a pile of books, a decanter of water and a plate of grapes and cheese (my favorite study time snacks). Magister Alma was talking about the dangers of blood magic, she explained that in some cases, as a last resort it can be used but only by those who are very experienced. My attention was pulled away when my patron’s son walked into the library, his royal blue robe sat snuggly on his muscular frame. It was designed to tease, leaving one arm open to the viewer. The gold of his bangles shown against his olive skin. My eyes moved slowly up his body, I could feel the heat starting low in my belly and rising slowly with my gaze. The gold in his dark green eyes held the firelight; I was entranced by the flickering for a moment before a deep chuckle escaped his lips, pulling my attention back and making me jump in my seat. “Lady Trevelyan, are you okay?” Magister Alma asked, completely unaware of the source of my distraction.

“yes ma’am” I replied sheepishly, “I apologize,” turning my gaze to the book in front of me, feeling thankful for my Antivan skin tone being dark enough to hide the blush in the libraries dim light.

“If I may interject, Ma’am,” his deep voice surprised me, “perhaps I can borrow the Lady for a lesson of a more… hands-on variety? I swear I will only take her from you for a short time,” his voice ended in a husky tone. His playful gaze met mine for an instant before I tuned to my instructor for permission. “Yes, Master Pavus,” she said with a nod. He scoffed at the title, “please, Master Pavus is my father, just call me Dorian.”

Extending his hand to mine, “My Lady?”

As if it was a question… I’d go anywhere with this man. I have been studying under the patronage of Magister Halward Pavus and the tutor Magister Alma since I came into my powers, nearly 6 years ago, at the age on 11. My parents did not want me to be taken by the Circle, so they appealed to my father’s family, within the Imperium. Master Pavus could not deny the lineage of my family, both my parents bloodlines have strong magical ties. In fact, a branch of our family in Kirkwall, the Amell’s, were almost decimated by the number of mages born and taken away to the Circle. In addition, house Trevelyan and house Pavus are distant relatives, so he was glad to oblige.

Master Pavus has two children, Dorian is the eldest and meant to inherit his father’s place on the Magisterium once he comes of age and finishes his training, and Eliza, who is 4 years younger. Eliza and I are the same age and thus have been raised together, learning to control and grow our ability to call on the forces (fire and ice). However, Dorian has always been just old enough to seem out of reach and his responsibility to take over their father’s seat, often takes him away from the Qarinus estate. Nonetheless, when he is home, he enjoys taking me away from the mundane lessons Magister Alma insists upon.

Taking his hand, I can’t hide the smile from spreading across my face. “learn something,” Eliza calls out as we leave the library. Looking back at her, she shakes her head with a knowing grin.

“It’s been awhile, My Lady, seems you have blossomed since I’ve been away,” he says.

“Well, you have been away a year next week, Dorian,” I reply. “Ah, counting the days are you my dear?” he says as he nudges my side with his hip. Feeling the blush creep up my neck I look to the floor.

“Come now,” he says, lifting my chin with his knuckle, “I am rather dashing, so I can’t blame you.” His eyes were full of laughter when I meet them. “I am well aware of your finer qualities,” I replied allowing my eyes to fill with the heat coursing through me. His gaze changed growing darker and the moment stretches longer than what would be considered appropriate. “Master Pavus, are you speechless….?” I question, still holding his gaze.

He clears his throat, as if to speak but instead crashes his lips to mine. The kiss is hungry, his tongue sliding against me, asking for entrance. As I open for him, he lifts my hips and I wrap my legs around his waist pulling us closer. He takes a few steps and before I know it, I feel the cold marble of the wall against my back. He takes my wrists in one strong hand and holds them above me. With a moan, I break the kiss to breathe and he starts moving his skilled lips across my jaw, down my neck, ending along my collarbone. “Dorian,” his name escapes my mouth just above a whisper, as I arch my hips against his hardness. He responds with a guttural growl and claims my lips once more, hungrier than the last time. He moves his hand from my hip inward, resting it against my core, another moan escapes as he pulls away from my lips. With a dark chuckle, “you are happy to see me,” he says sliding his fingers against my clit through my moist smalls. All I can manage is a whimper, my mind foggy with desire.

“Look at me Arya,” he demands, and I oblige. His eyes are filled with need and his face is flush, “Don’t close your eyes, I want to see how much you want me.” With that he releases my hands, allowing me to grasp his shoulders for leverage. Pulling my smalls aside he slides his fingers slowly inside me, titling them forward and finding that bundle of nerves, he caresses me slowly at first, then fast and faster, “fuck Dorian,” I say. He smirks, “I assure you, this is nothing compared to fucking me.”

“oh yeah? Prove it,” I retort but he muffles the last part as he pulls my bottom lip between his teeth. His thumb moved over my clit and he starts moving it in circles. I feel the pressure start to build and break away from his lips to meet his gaze one again. “Cum for me Arya,” “Do it right now.” As if my body understands his demand my cunt convulses around his fingers and I scream my release into the stillness of the hall. Bringing his fingers to his lips he sucks my wetness off them and smiles, “you taste delectable, my lady.” He slowly rests my feet back onto the ground and steady’s me with the weight of his body. Putting his fingers under my chin and raising my eyes to his he whispers, “we need to stop there for now, Amatus. We’d be a powerful match, you and I, but now is not the time.” Giving me a chaste kiss, he says, “how about a sparring lesson, Lady Trevelyan?”

“Last one to the field has to re-stuff the dummies afterwards,” I say taking off towards the training field. “Don’t say something you’ll regret,” he retorts and disappears from my side into a fade step. “Not fair Dorian,” I scream, his chuckle floats on the air, everywhere but nowhere at the same time.


	2. Sometimes Things Change

**2 years later, 9:37 Dragon**

“Arya…Arya” I hear in the distance, but my head doesn’t want to give up the dream. That velvet chuckle, so close I could feel it on my skin.

“ARYA! WAKE UP! The templars are going to think you’re possessed,” the voice calls, its owner shaking me violently. My eyes slowly open, meeting the very worried face of my best friend. Her green eyes, glistening with unshed tears.

“Lila, what’s wrong?” I ask. “The templars are coming, they said you passed but then you didn’t wake up… I’ve been so afraid Arya,” her hand trembles as she brushes my hair from my forehead. “You look a fright, are you okay?”

Realization hit me and I jumped to me feet. My Harrowing, that’s right, I just had my Harrowing. Thanks to Lila, I had my composure set when the three templars entered our quarters.

“Trevelyan, come with us,” the Knight Commander said. Giving Lila a reassuring pat, I nodded, “Yes sir,” and followed the men out of the apprentice wing. As we passed my fellow mages, I received a mixture of looks, some relief, some fear, some excitement but nobody said a word.

“I passed my Harrowing, what is wrong,” I thought to myself. I was so lost in my own thoughts I ran straight into the templar in front of me when they abruptly stopped. He was solid like a brick wall and if he hadn’t caught my arm, I’d have been on my ass.

“Are you alright, malady?” he asked in a Ferelden accent. Meeting his gaze, I was surprised. He was quite attractive, young with dark hair and green eyes, he had the perfect amount of stubble and I almost reached out to feel its roughness under my hand when he cleared his throat and licked his slightly parted lips.

“Yes, sorry… I was thinking… spacing off…. I should learn to watch…. I’m rambling… I apologize Messere…”

“Meric” he says

“What?” I question

“My name, it’s Meric,” he replies

“Oh, right, forgive me, Ser Meric.”

“Just Meric is fine,” he says with a wink and with that, turns back to the others.

The templars had stopped in front of the First Enchanters office, I can hear her and the Knight Commander talking inside, but I can’t make out what they are saying. A couple enchanters walk by, “you think that’s her?” they whisper. Reaching out, I tap Meric’s shoulder,

“Do you know what’s going on?” I figure what can it hurt to ask… what the worst he can say.

“No not really, we were instructed to bring you straight here once you awoke from your Harrowing,” he said.

“Did something go wrong?” I asked.

“It seemed like any other Harrowing to me, you make the cutest little noises in your sleep,” he joked.

I didn’t know what to say but felt my cheeks burning.

“Hey now,” he says, “don’t be shy, it really was adorable.” Before I could reply, A female’s voice calls, “Lady Trevelyan, please come in.”

With that, all the templars leave, and I find myself alone with First Enchanter Lydia. “Arya Trevelyan, 19 summers, eldest child of house Trevelyan of Ostwick. Parents Brent and Elsa Trevelyan whom sent you to live with family in the Imperium at the age of 11, when your power manifested rather than sending you to the Circle. Patron by Magister Halward Pavus and his family, where you were trained in fire, electricity, necromancy and knight enchanter skills.”

I opened my mouth to confirm but she continued “During your 17th year, while visiting your family, an incident with your younger sibling Nicholai caused you to expose yourself and thus brought Templar action upon your family.”

“First Enchanter, I mean no disrespect but why are we going over my history?” I ask, “I am well aware that saving my little brother’s life with healing magic is how I was caught and brought in, I don’t understand.”

Her expression changed from clinical to compassionate. “Arya,” she started, “Are you aware of what has happened in Kirkwall?”

“No, ma’am,” I answer, “the last I heard of Kirkwall was that there was a devastating battle against the Qunari but with the help of Hawke, they were driven off.”

“Yes, well, that did happen but... here read this” she hands me a parchment with Kirkwall’s seal. The message spoke of an apostate blowing up the Chantry and the Circle of Magi rebelling. Hawke fought alongside Knight Captain Cullen to restore peace to the city, but the Circle was destroyed, and Knight Commander Meredith was killed.

“This is horrible news, but I still don’t understand,” I say.

“I don’t know why they keep you all so sheltered,” she said with an exacerbated sigh. “Arya, the rebellion at Kirkwall was just a start, several other Circles are following suit, thus leaving young untrained mages without support. As one of the last stable Circle’s, Ostwick is becoming a bit of a sanctuary.”

“Please follow me,” she said. “As a smaller Circle to begin with, we are being faced with an emergency of a sort.” With that she opened a door to a room full of probably 40 children, most of which were under the age of 10. They were camped out on the floor with bedrolls, blankets and the few belongings they brought with them. They all looked as if they had been traveling for weeks, dirt clung to their skin and hair, the only clean places were the streaks left by their tears and snotty noses.

“All new mages?” I ask and she nods,

“What will you do with them all?”

“Well…. I was hoping you’d help with that,” she says.

“Arya, you came into this circle with training and skill beyond most of our senior enchanters. One thing I will give Tevinter, they know how to teach and build strong, smart and powerful magi. Protocol did not allow me to give you any standing prior to completing your Harrowing, Although, I wanted that done when you first arrived 2 years ago, the Knight Commander felt you needed to be watched for the possibility of Tevinter influence. However, now that we are in a crisis and your Harrowing in completed, I would like to promote you to Senior Enchanter. I want you to help train, support and nurture the children in that room,” she says motioning toward the door. “Will you accept this place as my Second?”

I was speechless…

“I realize this is a lot and very quick, why don’t you take a couple days to think about it. Now let me show you to your new quarters.”

Putting her arm around my shoulders she led me back down the hall to the Senior Enchanter’s wing. “This will be your new room,” she said opening the door and allowing me space to step inside. She moved aside a sheer curtain revealing a private bathing area, “I will call for them to prepare a bath,” she said with a smile.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, I ran to the canopied bed and threw myself on the fluffy pillows and silken blankets. “A private bath!” I haven’t had one of those since… since before… my thoughts trailed off to the last time I saw my family.

_It was summer and the weather was warm and humid, my mother, little brother and I were enjoying a day at the beach. It was my first day back from training and I had something specific I wanted to talk with my mother about._

_“Mama, before I left Eliza mentioned something and I am wondering if I can ask you about it’s validity?” I asked._

_“Of course, darling, you can ask me anything,” my mother said with a warm smile._

_“Well… I’ve heard that it’s common for families to… well Eliza has been…” I stumbled horribly over my words and felt my cheeks grow hot._

_“_ _Arya, darling… I heard that Miss Eliza will be married to Magister Tallis in the Autumn, is this what you are asking about?” she said, eyes darting between me and my little brother Nicholai, who was building a sand fort not far away._

_“Yea… I guess... I...”_

_“Don’t worry, dear, according to Halward, Eliza and you will continue to train together, she’s not going to disappear,” mother said._

_“That is good to hear but that’s not what… is it common for families to use marriage as a way to… Dorian said that…”_

_“Ah Dorian, he sure is handsome, don’t you think darling?” she asked._

_“_ _Well, yes…. I like… I mean he is quite handsome….” My face must have betrayed me because my mother jumped forward so fast, “Arya Trevelyan, have you had relations with him?” she accused. “_

_Well… no… yes… sorta…”_

_“_ _Arya, you aren’t even married to him yet, I sure hope you haven’t had intercourse already, the contract states you will be pure….”_

_Her words trailed off because my ears were stuck on the “yet” part... “_

_So, it is true Mama, I am supposed to marry Dorian? Eliza said she saw something on her father’s desk about the arrangement… Mama is that true?”_

_That’s when we heard the scream… “SOMEONE HELP HIM!”_

_Turning our heads to the sound, we see Nicholai’s limp body floating in the water not far off shore. Mother and I jump to our feet. “What happened?” I hear mother ask but I don’t stick around for the answer, I fade -step to my brother’s side and pull him from the waves. He isn’t breathing but has a faint pulse. Without even thinking I reach inside for my mana, feeling it come to my call, I push it into his chest pushing the water out, willing his lungs to move. The green glow of healing magic illuminates us, but I pay it no heed._

_“She’s as mage, call the Templars,” I hear someone yell but my attention is focused on the form of Nicholai in my arms. Water is dribbling form his lips and I feel his lungs slowly move, I give one more push allowing all my energy to flow through my hands into his small body…_

_“Arya?” his voice is harsh, but it is probably the best sound I’ve ever heard in that instant. Pulling him into my lap, he wraps his arms around my neck “thank you,” he whispers. Mother is on us then, hugging us both to her chest, “I love you so much, my beautiful children,” she is crying. Then commotion behind us and someone calls out, “there... the mage,” I look up and meet the gaze of two Templars._

I awaken to a banging sound and a Fereldan voice “Malady, if you don’t open up, I am going to have to break the door and I really don’t want to do that… it looks painful… what is this even made out of?”

Another BANG and a curse I can’t quite make out. “I’m coming” I call, jumping to my feet and opening the door just in time to catch Meric’s fist in my hand.

“Shit, I’m sorry I was… wait how’d you do that? I had my whole strength behind that thrust, and you took it like it was nothing.”

I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows at his choice of words. “That... uh that sounded dirty didn’t it.” He blushed at my smile, “the servants came to get a bath ready for you but when you didn’t answer they...” he said.

“Sorry about that, I fell asleep, it’s been a long couple of days,” I say.

“Alright, I will just go fetch them again, malady,” he said shaking out his fist as he walked away.

It doesn’t take long for the servants to come in filling the tub with hot water and scented oils. Removing my apprentice robe, I toss it to the floor. The servants hang a silk dressing gown next to the tub and excuse themselves. “Ser Meric is outside if you need anything, Senior Enchanter Trevelyan,” they say. I don’t correct them because honestly, I like the sound of that title. “why am I under guard,” I ask.

“You’re not, the Templar, his post just happens to be right outside of your quarters. He’s barely moved from that spot since his arrival a few weeks ago,” they say. “convenient” I reply.

They both giggle and look at each other before meeting my gaze, “he is very pretty Senior Enchanter, it could be worse, and he seems fond of you.” With that, they scurry from the room.


	3. What's that mean?

After indulging myself in the bath for what seemed like ages, I step out of the tub and into the silk dressing gown. It falls just above my knees, clings to just the right places and is a dark purple in color. “Why does a senior enchanter get to have sexy clothes,” I wonder to myself. My room is chilled, so I start a small fire and boost it with a fire rune to help heat the space faster.

On the vanity is a hair brush, which I grab and start combing out my long chestnut curls. The bath water is cooled now, and I step into the hallway in search of someone or something to drain it with. Meric is sitting on a wooden chair against the wall not far away. He doesn’t move when I emerge and from the even rise and fall of his chest, I assume he has fallen asleep.

Quietly, I walk over to him, his hand is starting to bruise from banging it on my door. Kneeling at his feet, I place my hand where I can tell his is tender and call my healing magic forth, to mend the broken vessels within his hand. He sighs with relief as the pain subsides, taking that as a positive, I push a little harder to get the last little bit of damaged tissue.

With unbelievable quickness he lashes out with a blast of power, propelling me though the air toward the adjacent wall. Luckily, my reflexes are also quick and I fade-step, seconds before slamming against the wall.

“Andraste’s tits, what the fuck was that” he yells, glaring at me. His eyes hold anger, fear and something else, repulsion? I can feel him siphoning my mana, I am getting weaker by the second.

“I didn’t mean to… good night Messere,” I say as I run to my quarters and lock the door behind me.

That’s when the tears come, I’m not sure why, it’s not like Meric was special to me in any way. That look though, like I was something disgusting, putrid, less-than-human, that look hurt. I had only been in the Circle for 2 years and my direct interactions with the Templars were few. In Tevinter, at home, among my peers, I had never had someone look at me like that.

It was midday when I awoke. I warmed the small basin of water with a fire rune and splashed my face and hair. The face that stared back at me from the vanity mirror looked awful. My eyes, which are usually a bright sapphire blue, were bloodshot and swollen from crying. My skin was pale, I looked sickly, probably from Meric’s siphon spell. Moving was like swimming through molasses and my head was spinning. I wanted to get dressed and go see Lila, I’m sure she is distraught with worry.

There was a quiet knock on the door and a small females voice called. “Senior Enchanter, please open the door?”

I stood and managed to make it to the door without falling, “Oh you look horrible, My Lady, what’s wrong? Are you ill?” The servant asked. “Yes, I think I am,” I replied.

“Lay down, let me get you some food and water,” she helped me to the bed and started out of the room, “I’ll return shortly.”

“Wait? Can you take a message for me?” I asked.

“Yes, I believe so. What’s the message?”

“It’s for Lila, she’s in the apprentice wing, she’s my best friend and I’m sure is worried sick about me. Will you tell her I am fine and will come see her soon, once I feel better.” “

Yes, yes, I will get the message to your friend. Now please rest.” With that she swiftly left the room.

_“Wynn, Solona, Alistair and Leilana stared solemnly as the tower disappeared behind them through the fog. The companions were silent, all lost in thought for a different reason, the only noise was the repetitive whoosh of the oar sliding through the stillness of Lake Calenhad._

_Once the small boat docked, they meandered toward the Spoiled Princess, all except for Solona. “I need a few moments,” she said quietly before walking to the edge of the lake. Alistair made a move to follow but Wynn and Leilana steered him in the direction of the tavern._

_“Give her some time,” Leilana said, voice serene._

_“How about sharing a bottle of wine with this old lady,” Wynn added, “I might keel over if I drink it by myself.”_

_Looking at the faces of his friends, Alistair nodded in agreement, “We can’t have you dying on us now can we,” he jests. Giving one last glance at Solona’s retreating figure, “He doesn’t deserve her tears,” Alistair says disgust evident in his voice. With a knowing look the two women pull him through the door._

_The ground was damp but Solona didn’t care. The pain surged through her, from her heart out through every nerve in her body. She wanted it to go away, she wished she could be numb to it all like Morrigan. The fate of Thedas was on her shoulders and all she could think about was him. The smell of his breath against her, sweet and tinged with lyrium. His playful smirk, the one that could melt her in an instant. The surprising silkiness of his curls as she ran her fingers through them. The husky growl that escaped his lips every time he took her against the alter in the chantry. How his eyes shone like molten gold whenever she gazed into them. “I love you,” he had said it that day, that day Duncan took her from her home, that day her life changed forever._

_The tears started to fall from her eyes as the memories came. Under her robe she felt the familiar weight of the amulet he had given her. It laid against her heart and had kept her going through these last few months. All this time she held onto the thought of returning home after the Archdemon was defeated. No more blight, no need for a Warden… she could go back, be with him again._

_Pulling the amulet from her robe, she turned it over in her fingers, it was copper in color, smooth and worn from being hidden under his armor for so long. Templar's weren’t allowed to have personal effects. She opened it and saw the crumpled piece of paper, she didn’t need to unfold it, its contents were burnt into her mind. “My heart ~ Cullen”_

_Now her home was gone and so was he. “Take back your fucking heart!” she screamed, throwing the amulet toward the lake but someone grabbed it midair. She stood, anger and flame flared in her eyes as she turned to face the intruder. It was Leilana, she held the amulet, “you may want this once the pain has eased, I will keep it for you, in case that day comes.” Leilana’s face was stubborn but her eyes were warm, and before Solona knew she was pulled into her friend’s warm embrace. Solona didn’t know how long they stayed there but Leilana didn’t let go until the tears stopped flowing.”_

Out of all the stories of the fifth blight, this was my favorite. On one of my summer trips home, we visited Kirkwall and I found it in the Amell’s library. So often you hear about how the Hero of Ferelden defeated the Archdemon and fought the darkspawn at Ostegar, but she was so much more than a warrior. She was a person, a woman, a mage. I loved the stories that focused on the more human aspects of Solona Amell (not to mention, we are related). I like to believe that this specific story is Solona’s autobiography, sent to her family as a way for them to keep track of her. There are so many aspects that an onlooker wouldn’t know.

I came to but didn’t allow myself to move, who was reading my favorite story to me? Where did they even find it? I heard footsteps and a male’s voice, “any change?”

“She is stirring a little, Ser. She will wake soon,” I recognized Lila’s melodious voice. She must have been the one reading, she would have brought me my stuff from our room in the apprentice wing. “Is that a true story?” the male asked. I heard Lila’s robe as she shrugged. “Arya said she got this from the Amell library, they are related somehow.”

“Arya and the Hero of Ferelden are related?” his voice held a tone of surprise now.

“Yeah and the Champion as well, quite the family tree eh?” Lila asked with a giggle.

“Huh, you know I trained under Knight Captain Cullen briefly before transferring here. I don’t think I will ever be able to look at his molten gold eyes the same again,” he chuckled now, and I recognized it to be Meric.

“Meric!” Lila’s laughter spilled into the room. She was flirting, I could see the pink blush on her pale skin without even opening my eyes.

“Well, I better get back to my quarters before the Templars think I escaped and try giving me the Right,” she said.

“Psst, Templars are a bunch of nugs, don’t worry ‘bout them,” he teased.

Lila giggled again, “Have a good night Ser,” I heard her slippers glide on the floor as she walked out of the room, then silence.

I waited a few more moments before opening my eyes and sitting up. There was a glass of water on the bedside table, which I grabbed and downed in two gulps. Looking for the decanter to refill my cup my eyes rested on Meric, standing in the doorway. He looked relieved but kept his distance.

“Do you know where the decanter is, I’d like more water?” I asked voice hoarse. He didn’t say anything but stepped to the bed and took the glass refilling it and handing it back. I swallowed the cool liquid and met his gaze.

The moment stretched and I was about to say something when he took a few steps and knelt at my side. “I’m so sorry malady, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just startled… not a worthy excuse I know….” His voice trailed off and he dropped his gaze to the ground.

“Thank you for healing my hand, malady, it may have been broken”

“Arya,” I said.

“What?” he said, “Oh, right, thank you Arya,” this time he held my gaze with his.

Being this close, I realized his eyes were a dark green, similar to Dorian’s, they reminded me of being in a forest at dusk. His light skin was spattered with freckles and he had a scar along his chin. I reached out and ran my finger along it, stopping just at the curve of his lips. I froze there, not sure how it happened or what I should do next. He smiled, “Mabari.” I met his eyes again and must have looked confused. “I was attacked by a Mabari, fleeing Denerim when the darkspawn attacked” he explained.

He moved my hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on the top of it. Clearing his throat, he smirked, causing my stomach to flip flop, “I’ll let you get cleaned up.”


	4. The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

**9:40 Dragon - 2 years later**

I took my time bathing and drying the chestnut curls that fell to my waste. Looking at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t believe it had been 2 years since I started my role as Senior Enchanter. I still looked the same, but I felt different. My world had shifted, for so long my focus was on learning to master my magic and becoming a powerful wife to a Magister. Now, I was a teacher, a nurturer even a mother to many of my young pupils. As second to the First Enchanter, many changes were implemented into the Ostwick Circle.

Apprentices were happy and comfortable, although the rebellion was raging across Thedas, here, we seemed to have peace. Shortly after taking on my role, Lila passed her Harrowing and we have teamed up as the “best teachers ever,” according to the children. Ser Meric also got a promotion to Knight Captain. The three of us spend most of our time training the young mages and Templar recruits to be kind, focused and compassionate.

Pulling the Senior Enchanter robe over my head, I took a moment to revel in the satin feel of it. Apprentice robes were made of rough cotton, but this was soft against my skin. The fit was also more flattering, instead of feeling like I wore a potato sack, I felt beautiful. The robe was tailored to my curves and had open shoulders exposing part of my neck and upper back. It was a deep blue with silver embroidery, much better than the burnt orange robes of the apprentices.  I pulled half my curls up and let the other half fall down my back. Feeling comfortable with my appearance, I stepped out into the hall expecting Meric to be sitting at his post, but the little wooden chair was empty.

Lila and I had plans to meet and discuss a new lesson around using opposite elemental forces to do more damage. I looked in all her usual haunts but couldn’t find my bubbly friend anywhere. Maybe she is in the garden, she was talking about trying her hand at potions.

On my way to the court yard, I stopped at the room from before, the one that held all the newly empowered children. Opening the door quietly, I was proud at the new state of the space. We were still getting large numbers of children coming in and I wanted them to feel safe, not like refugees. Bright cots had been brought in lining the walls but leaving the center space open.

In it, the children were all sitting in a circle. Curious to see what they were watching, I stepped inside the room. There was a templar sitting in the middle of the circle reading a book. His back was to me, so I didn’t recognize him at first. Once I was close enough to hear the familiar Ferelden drawl, I knew it was Meric. At the same moment I recognized him, a couple of the younger kids came running in my direction, “teacher!” they said with excited voices. I bent down to meet their out stretched arms and looking over their heads saw Meric turn and smile.

“Will you come listen to the story Mr. Meric is telling?” they asked.

“Of course,” I replied. They each took one of my hands and before I knew it, I was sitting in the circle looking up at Meric’s animated face as he read the story of the mighty Grey Wardens flying in on their Griffins to save Thedas from the darkspawn.

As the story came to an end, a few servants came in the room, ushering all the children down to the dining hall for supper. I stood and bid them good evening, intending to continue my quest for Lila.

“Arya, a moment?” Meric asked, the look in his eyes made me nervous.

“Sure, what’s going on?”

“I need to speak to you in private,” he said, walking swiftly from the room.

I followed and he led me into a storage room off the chantry. With a wave for me to enter, he shut and locked the door behind us. The storage room was dark, so I cast a flame, illuminating the small room with soft flickering light.

“Meric, what’s going on, this is strange?” I asked eyeing the space around me.

His eyes were moving back and forth, as if he was reading all the different things, he could say, but unsure which to choose.

“Meric?!” I put a little more force in my words, which caused his eyes to meet mine.

“It’s Lila,” he started and with that my stomach sank, “what do you mean? I was looking for her, where is she?”

“The rebellion reached a few of the mages here and they left, Lila left with them,” he said.

“She wouldn’t have just left, Meric are you sure she was with them?” I asked. “I would have known if she planned to leave.”

I started to cry, and he pulled me against his chest. “It seems abnormal to me too but the other’s, they don’t know her.”

“Knight Commander Aric and First Enchanter Lydia have been locked in the conference room since it happened.”

“A few of templars also left, saying Aric and Lydia are weak.”

“I’m not sure what is going on, but I know it’s not good.”

Putting his thumb under my chin he raised my face to meet his eyes then brushed the tears from my cheeks. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. I sucked in breath to speak but before I could he touched his lips to mine, a soft pressure before he pulled away, “I’m… I’m sorry that was… horrible timing” he joked. “Let’s go see if we can find out more about what happened,” he turned to unlock the door. I pressed my hand along his arm, stopping his movement. A small gesture but all the encouragement he needed. This time when his lips met mine, they were not gentle.

He sucked my bottom lip causing me to part them slightly, his tongue pushed inside, exploring every part of mouth. I couldn’t speak but heard myself whimpering as he skillfully conquered me with his tongue. He moved his fingertips slowly from my lower back, across my hips, up my side and across my breasts. His thumbs circled by nipples until they grew tight under his touch. He pulled his mouth from mine with an animalistic growl, “Can I taste you?” he asked. I couldn’t find my voice but nodded in response. Permission granted, he pulled the silken robe over my head, tossing it to the floor behind us. His eyes followed the lines of my body, starting from the ground and moving up to my face. His eyes, full of desire, shown brighter then usual. He claimed my mouth again briefly, before moving down my throat, scrapping his teeth against my skin. My skin burned with magic and need, his kisses caressed me like the first rain of Autumn, leaving a cooling sensation wherever his lips touched. I cried out as he brought one nipple into his mouth, then the other. The noise brought his attention back to my face. His eyes were reflecting an unknown light and I realized that my mana was pulsing under my skin, causing it to glow.

I felt his hand a moment before it was under my smalls. He slid his fingers inside, causing me to call out in pleasure. The coolness of his hand and the fire burning inside me heightened my sensitivity, almost pulling me over the edge right then. “Not yet, I want to take my time with you,” he said, pulling his fingers free and removing my smalls, tossing them to the ground with my robe. He looked around the room and seemed satisfied when he saw a couch against the back wall. Picking me up in one arm and undoing his breeches with the other, he made his way to it. I felt the rough fabric against my back as he sat me on it. I heard the clank of his boots and breeches hitting the floor then the coolness of his hands on my knees.

Speeding my legs slowly apart he trailed sloppy kisses down one thigh than the other, before finally finding my core with his mouth. He sucked and feasted upon my arousal like a man starving. His hair was soft under my hands as I twisted my fingers in it. I could feel the pressure start to build, “Meric,” I whispered, need heavy on my voice. The sound of his name brought his attention back to my face, “Is this okay?” he asked. My voice was hoarse, but I managed a “yes.” Closing the distance to claim my mouth again brought our bodies close. I could feel the hardness of his cock against my core and we both moaned at the feel of it. I tilted my hips up, grinding my clit against him and he growled. Looking up at him in the golden glow of mana was a beautiful sight. His chest and shoulders were toned and hard but lean. His build was more like that of a rogue than a warrior, I wondered for a moment what his weapon of choice was.

He must have noticed my thoughts wonder off because he asked, “Are you alright?” A flirtatious smile crossed my face.

“Yes, just distracted, you are also beautiful.”

I felt his hand move between us and the hardness of his cock spread my labia. He met my eyes again, a question hanging in them. “Take me,” I demanded. He didn’t speak but kept his eyes locked to mine while he pushed himself inside. The feeling of fullness as he entered rode the edge of pleasure and pain, causing me to gasp. He froze, “I’m sorry… I didn’t know…

“Don’t stop,” I said, interrupting his rambling. This time I closed the distance between us to claim the fullness of his lips. He shuddered against me, fully sheathed and stayed for a moment so I could relax around him. His movements were slow at first, sliding himself against me but not pulling out completely. The pleasure began to out do the pain and I tilted my hips to meet his thrusting. “Faster” I demanded, and he obliged. The sounds of our bodies meeting repeatedly filled the room and my skin glowed brighter and brighter. I could see how the mana was transferring from my skin to his and remembered one of Dorian’s “hands-on lessons” about sharing mana. I knew it added immense pleasure between mage’s but didn’t know it could happen with a non-mage.

My muscles started to tense around Meric’s cock, I was close. The tensing caused him to lose rhythm for a moment “fuck Arya, I’m gonna cum” he said. Making an impulsive decision, I took that moment to push my mana into him. His body accepted it, consumed my burning flame with a heatless blue of his own. I plunged over the edge, my cunt convulsing around his shaft, the heat of his release filling me. Around us the room shone golden and blue, fire and ice, my mana and his lyrium dancing, intertwining, becoming one.

After that, we fell asleep, I came to and the small room was dark. Meric’s weight was on my chest, his soft breathing the only noise. But there was something else, something had woken me. I didn’t move but listened only to be greeted with silence. If my ears couldn’t help, I’d use another sense. Calling my necromancy from where it laid dormant, I pushed it forth, it couldn’t tell me what was hiding in the darkness, but it’d let me know if it was alive or dead. The purple wave spilled out looking for its quarry. Meric’s body lit up first with a purple glow, letting me know he was alive and well. The rest of the room stayed in darkness, but once outside blue outlines appeared, first one than another and another... blue means death… this was not good.


	5. Rebellion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some gore, FYI.

“Meric, Meric” I whispered. His eyes opened slowly but in an instant, he was on his feet, “something is wrong” he said, “I taste blood magic.” He started rummaging around for clothes, can you light that flame again I can’t see,” he said.

“Meric” I placed a hand on his shoulder drawing his attention to me. His eyes were wild with anxiety.

“We need to go,” he said, voice stern.

“There are bodies outside of this room, whatever is here it’s killing people,” I said, “We need to be careful, so please calm down and move slowly, if it’s demons they will sense your rage.”

He took a deep breath, calming himself. With my necromancy initiated, I could hear or more like feel, his heart rate drop. I lit a tiny flame in my hand and searched out our clothes. I pulled my robe on but left the smalls discarded on the floor, they were drenched anyway. I sent another pulse of power outward, “Maker, what is that, it smells of decay,” Meric said scrunching his nose.

“Necromancy,” I replied.

“Wait, you’re a death mage?” he questioned

“I have many talents,” I retorted heading for the door feeling assured that only the dead waited across the threshold.

“Arya,” his hand was on my arm. “Death magic is a form of blood magic… I can’t let you...”

Meric was having a crisis of faith apparently. In the safety of the Circle, the conversation of bad magic vs good magic had never transpired between us. The only time he even saw me use magic was with the students. I had a flashback to that time in the hallway, the look of repulsion he had on his face when I healed him. I met his eyes, his face was hard, nothing like what I had become accustomed to.

“Meric,” I inhaled, “I have only been a Circle mage for these 4 years we have been acquainted, prior to that I was trained in Minrathous. I…. “

“WHAT!?” he said, voice raised, “you’re a, an apostate, a fucking Magister?” His heartrate was rising with his anger.

“Meric, now is not the time. Let’s get to safety and find out what in Maker’s name is going on. I promise I will explain more once we get out of here,” I pleaded for him to understand. He nodded but didn’t release me.

“Let me go first,” he said

Stepping aside, I allowed his chivalry. The door opened slowly but stopped with a heavy thud. “Something is blocking the door,” he said, “You’ll have to squeeze through and move it.”

I couldn’t stop the shudder, I knew what was blocking it. Before squeezing through, I placed my hand on his cheek. “We’ll get through this,” I said stretching up on tiptoes to kiss his forehead. His eyes softened and he smiled at me. With that I slipped from the room.

The smell hit me first, it smelled of death, the ground was slick with blood, dark and thickening as it coagulated. Looking around, I counted six bodies on the chantry floor. I didn’t let my eyes linger, I didn’t want to recognize anyone. Turning back toward the door, there was the body of a templar crouched against it. I stepped over and removed the helmet, it was a female, her red hair covered her face and I moved it aside to reveal her youth, a new recruit. Her mouth was set in a grimace of pain and her eyes held surprise. My heart sank, “what happened?” I questioned “

Arya” Meric called from the other side of the door. “Just a minute, I’m okay but… it’s bad,” I answered.

I bent down to move the templar from the door, but she was wearing full armor and I couldn’t budge her. I sat back, I knew what I needed to do but Meric was not going to like it. We had no weapons, no armor and were about to walk into the unknown, we needed a scout. Placing my hands on the templar’s chest I called my necromancy, the purple power went deep inside of her, filled her until her eyes shone with its power. She stood and look at me for instructions, “scout the area, don’t interact, come back and let me know what you find.” Once she was out of sight, I opened the door. Meric came barreling out, ready for a fight “who was that?” but his mood changed as soon as he saw the bodies. “Maker?” he said, “let’s get this bastard.”

Meric took a few hasty steps toward the chantry entrance then stopped, waiting for me to follow. “Arya, Arya” he called. I heard his voice, but it was a distant echo. Everything was covered in a purple hue but through her I could see mages and templars battling one-another. I only recognized a few faces, most were strangers. “Where did they come from and why are they here?” I questioned.

“Who? Where? Meric was staring at me confused.

The sounds of battle filled my consciousness, clashing swords, ripping flesh, lightening, ice shattering, the smell of burning hair. I could sense it all as if it was me wondering the halls. As she ran from room to room, it didn’t let up. It was like something out of a horrible nightmare.

“We’re trapped,” I don’t know if the thought was hers or mine.

“What do you mean trapped?” he asked again, stepping in front of me.

She opened the door to the commons, and I saw an abomination and two shades turn toward her and then nothing…

Meric was shaking me when my focus returned. “Maker’s breath Arya, what was that, your eyes were completely purple, and you were mumbling about demons.”

“I was watching,” I explained but he didn’t get it.

“The Circle is overrun, templars and mages that I have never seen before are slaughtering everyone. There are also demons and abominations in the commons,” I continued. “We can’t fight our way through it, there are too many, but I have an idea… you won’t like it, but it will cause enough chaos that we could get out through the lyrium tunnels.”

“Fucking mages and their fucking rebellion,” he cursed.

“Meric, there are just as many templars participating,” I countered.

“Yeah but they are just doing their job, protecting the innocents,” he argued

“They don’t look like they are protecting anyone,” I said, “did the children deserve to be killed?”

“What do you mean?” he asked

“The children, they are dead and not at the hand of magic,” I told him

“How do you even know they are dead?” he asked

“Well, I raised a corpse and had her scout the Circle for me, I was watching through her eyes, that’s how I know what’s out there,” I explained

“Maker’s tits,” he cursed again, “this is too much.”

“What about the others?” he questioned

“I don’t know,” I said, “she was taken down by demons in the commons.”

Tears were coming now, I didn’t know what to do and his arguing wasn’t helping.

“Arya… I,” he started but I stopped him mid word, “Let’s just get out of here.”

Thought process crowded by emotions, I stepped into the hallway, straight into a wall of armor. I landed hard on my butt and looked up to the face of a templar I didn’t recognize. His sword was drawn and pointed at my chest. “look what we have here, boys” he said looking over his shoulder. Two others came up next to him, one on each shoulder. “She’s a pretty one, Captain,” one said. “Yeah, can we keep this one? You got to keep that little ginger elf girl from the kitchen,” the other added. The disgust must have shown on my face. “I don’t think she likes that idea much boys... but then again she doesn’t need to like it,” the Captain said villainous laugh ricocheting off the brick walls.

Meric came around the corner at that moment, “Arya!” he called. Looking at him, I shook my head, he was outnumbered, and I didn’t want his chivalry to get him killed. He seemed to assess the situation ending in the same conclusion as me. He adapted quickly. “Thank the Maker you stopped her, she’s a squirrely one,” he said clamping one of the lackeys on the shoulder with a loud thump, “But she’s well worth it, if you can get her to hold still,” he jested with a wink to the Captain.

“Who are you?” the Captain asked

“Knight Captain Stanus of the Ostwick Circle,” Meric started, “And this here is our Senior Enchanter Arya Trevelyan, second to First Enchanter Lydia.”

“What do ya mean a Senior Enchanter, she’s too young and pretty to be a senior anything,” one of the lackeys questioned.

“Well don’t let her looks fool you, I have her silenced or she’d have ya’ll turned into toads by now,” Meric said, taking a few steps toward me.

I could tell the Captain wasn’t sure about Meric. “I can sense that she’s got mana, are you sure you silenced her?” he asked.

“Well I’ve been chasing her for a while maybe she found some lyrium or grew it back… isn’t that how it works… they grow it inside them?” he feigned ignorance and took another step in my direction.

“Stop right there” the Captain challenged. His lackeys drew their blades, pointing them at Meric.

“You understand… for the sake of caution,” the Captain said.

Meric nodded in agreement, “Of course.” With that, the Captain came around behind me, I felt the roughness of the rope as be bound my wrists. He paused for a moment, face buried in my curls, I felt his hot breath on my neck and saw rage, equally hot, in Meric’s gaze.

The Captain must have seen it too, I felt his posture tense and heard his lips part before white searing pain engulfed me. My blood boiled, vision faded, and flesh scorched where his hands and mouth touched my bare skin. The last thing I heard was Meric’s scream, “NO!”


	6. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some non con, death and other things that could be disturbing. 
> 
> Kaffas = Tevene for shit 
> 
> This is where I found most of my Tevene translations  
> https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Tevene

It was cold and damp and I was shivering. My wrists stung and my body ached. It took me a few attempts before my vision cleared enough to see. I was in a tent, cold wind and snow flurries were sneaking through the heavy fabric at the entrance. My wrists were still bound and from the pain, had been that way for a while. I still wore my Senior Enchanters robe, but it was torn to shreds and covered in mud.

Outside I could hear voices, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Where was I? How did I get here? How long had I been out? Where was Meric?

The questions started to bombard my conscious causing my head to spin. I kicked out in frustration and my foot hit something sending it flying into the side of the tent.

“Go check on the prisoner” a voice boomed outside my door, “kaffas” I thought. Just a minute later an elf came timidly through the entrance. She had red hair and looked sickly pale and thin. I remembered the Templars saying something about kidnapping an elf, this must be her. 

“Oh my,” she said at the sight of me, “I didn’t think you’d ever wake up.”

She stepped towards me with an outstretched hand, “stay away,” I said.

She stopped and looked to her feet, then taking a deep breath said, “you have been sleeping for a number of weeks, malady, let me get you some water at least.”

“A number of weeks” my voice was strained, barely above a whisper.

“Yes, almost five” she said. She brought me a glass of water, her shaky hands almost spilling it. I tried to reach for it, but the bindings on my wrists stopped me, causing me to gasp in pain as stinging shot up my arms.

“Let me help,” she said voice gentle. I drank the water she offered greedily. “Let me get you another glass,” she said. After finishing the second glass, my throat felt soothed enough for talking.

“What happened?” I asked

“The templars took over the Ostwick Circle, they killed most of the mages,” her voice was sad.

“Where are we?”

“Well, I don’t know where we are exactly, somewhere in Ferelden I think, it’s cold and smells like wet dog,” she laughed a little at the reference.

"What have they done to me? My body is sore?"

She looked to her feet, “It’s probably best that you don’t remember” she said, “It’s been real bad malady.”

I could see the bruises, dried blood and semen on my thighs, I didn’t need her to say it to know that they had all had their way with me.

“Can we get out of here?” I asked

She met my eyes at that one. If you are strong enough, I think I know how we could escape. I’ve been watching their routines, each night I serve them ale, then they come to you, then they pass out in their tents til morning,” she explained. “I have some deathroot, I can put a little in their ale causing them to sleep deeper, but you’d have to make it through their visit. Once they are asleep, we could get away. Just know that there are a lot of others fighting all around us, it will be dangerous,” she explained.

“We need to know where we are or we will be wondering until we freeze,” I said, “have they said anything to hint at a location or a destination?”

“The Captain has been heading toward a place called Andoral’s Reach, apparently that is where the rebel mages are. He’s also mentioned someone called Lord Seeker Lambert at the White Spire,” she said.

“Ginger, where is my ale,” the booming voice from earlier.

“I must go,” she said, “I will come for you once they are asleep.”

With that, she hurried from the tent. If I was going to be escaping, I needed to make sure that I could walk so carefully I started to put weight on my knees and feet, a little at a time to get my muscles moving. I’m not sure how long it was before I heard heavy boots coming in my direction. I closed my eyes, willed my breathing and heart rate to steady and prayed for the Maker to let me escape into unconsciousness while they each hand a turn with my body.

A few hours later the elf girl and I were sneaking out of the encampment. We had raided their supplies, each of us pulling on some leather armor and carrying a pack of elfroot, lyrium and rations. My limbs were still stiff, and my body ached, but I gradually healed myself as we went. We were somewhere in the Arling of Amaranthine, according to the map and notes we recovered from the desk of the templar captain. I knew that the City of Amaranthine was a place of refuge for many travelers, so I suggested we head to the city and decide where to go from there.

It was a slow trip, we traveled during the night and laid low during the day. The rebellion had grown, surpassing just the Circles. Everywhere mages and templars fought, not caring who or what perished in their wake. Additionally, low lives of every type prowled the woods, taking advantage of the chaos. It became common for us to come across piles of dead bodies, abandoned wagons, partially burnt houses, and empty camps. Unfortunate as it was, it gave us an edge. The bodies gave me an endless supply of… well… bodies, using necromancy I raised them to act as bodyguards. We survived a few attacks, thanks to their assistance. The abandoned houses, wagons and camps gave us places to hide and rest during the daytime. There were even a few merchant wagons with food and other supplies.

 

It was after a fortnight of traveling that we walked through the gates of the city. On our journey, we managed to collect a decent store of silvers and even some sovereigns. Most of it we looted from the dead, but coin is coin. Thankfully, it gave us the ability to keep a low profile and seek some comforts. We stayed at the Crown and Lion Tavern, claiming two rooms and access to the bathhouse whenever we wanted.

After some hot soup and bread, we went to our separate rooms with the plan to convene in the morning. Elenora, the elf girl, seemed to want to go to Orlais but I was done with all this mage-templar fighting and wanted to go back to my family estate in Ostwick and eventually Qurinus, after I found out what happened to Meric and Lila. Thoughts of Dorian filled me with hope. It’d been so long since I was taken away. I couldn’t wait to see him again.

The hot water of the bathhouse felt amazing on my body. There was a bar of elfroot infused soap, and I used the entire thing, hoping maybe it’d ease my feelings of disgust. It didn’t and when I slept, the Maker did not protect me from the memories of those many weeks in the templar encampment.

I was being chased, the rancid smell of ale surrounding me, covering me in a sticky layer of it. I couldn’t get away, their hands were on me, in me. Their seed spilt on my chest, stomach, my robes caked in it, crusty and stiff. I woke up vomiting and drenched in sweat.

Not wanting to go back to sleep, I made my way back to the bathhouse. Elenora was there, “I had bad dreams too,” she said. We sat in silence, letting the warm water wash clean the horrible images from our minds. Looking at each other, I knew we would be parting ways but that we would forever have a bond.

I leaned over and hugged her, “if you need anything, send word to House Trevelyan.” She nodded, “I am going to Orlais, I hear the empress in kind to elves.” She left and I was once again alone in the bathhouse.


	7. Home

After Elenora left, I stayed in Amaranthine for another week before booking passage across the waking sea. I docked in Kirkwall and planned on staying with my cousin Sybil at the Amell estate.

Unfamiliar with the city, I asked a guardsman to escort me to the estate. Donnic was his name, his wife was apparently one of Sybil’s close friends. The doorman, a dwarf named Bodan, said Sybil was away at the moment, out traveling but allowed me to stay. That night, Donnic brought his wife Aveline and the three of us had dinner. They were so sweet, and I was thankful for their company. Aveline even helped me book a carriage to Ostwick

It took about a week, but I ended up standing in front of my parents’ estate. Looking into the gated courtyard I felt a mixture of relief and anxiety. It had been so long since I was last here, so many things are different now. Would they recognize me? Would they send me away?

Tentatively, I walked up and knocked on the door. There was a long moment of silence and my fear almost had me turning away. Then I heard the click of a lock and a young man opened the door. He was attractive, dark hair in ringlets just past his chin and the start of a beard. Blue eyes that stood out strikingly against the paleness of his skin, stared at me questionably…

“can I help you?” he asked. I froze, not sure what to say... was I at the wrong house? Who was this man?

“I’m sorry miss but we are not receiving visitors right now, we are in mourning for the loss of my sister, please come back another time.”

Then he closed the door. “Mourning? Sister? Wait… that was Nicholai!

The recognition dawned on me and I banged on the door again, hard enough to hurt myself. This time a woman opened the door. As soon as her bright eyes saw me, she pulled me to her chest, “Arya, we thought you were dead.”

My mothers smell filled my senses and for the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt safe.

It took about a month of continual care before I felt like myself again. My parents nurtured me back to physical health. My mother brought Alma in to help me control the nightmares and bring my magic back to full power. Alma, told me of how Eliza has been thriving in her marriage to Magister Tallis and is expecting their first child in a couple months’ time. She is having a salon, in celebration of the babe, which I am of course going to attend.

I asked after Dorian and Alma said that he and his father had a falling out a few years back. Since then he has been in Minrathous studying but hasn’t been home.

**A few weeks later-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Vines with sweet smelling purple blossoms draped over the archway leading to Eliza’s home. I had forgotten how wonderful freedom felt. The sun shone down warming my bronze skin. I wore a satin gown in a rich copper held in place at one shoulder with a broach of emeralds and diamonds. My hair was braided and held atop my head in an intricate weave.

I stood at the entrance to Eliza’s home, bathed in the sun and for what seemed liked forever, didn’t have to hide who I am, what I am.

Eliza ran to me pulling me into a deep embrace. “I was so afraid I’d never see you again,” she said fear evident in her eyes.

“You look so beautiful,” she continued, running her fingers down my bare arm. “I have so much to tell you, but first, come enjoy my salon.”

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into a fray of finely dressed women, elaborate gifts, sweet treats and even sweeter wine. I was out of practice, having gotten used to the quietness of the Circle, so after a few hours I was exhausted.

Excusing myself to the back balcony, I leant against it, enjoying the view of the rocky shore below and the main land in the distance. I was so enthralled by the view that I didn’t notice the man who came up behind me, until he cleared his throat.

Spinning quickly, I took on a defensive stance out of instinct. “My Lady Trevelyan, I assure you I mean no harm,” Magister Pavus said a small smile crossing his features.

“I apologize Sir,” I said with a nod.

“Let’s not be so formal, you are like a daughter to me after all, call me Halward,” he said with a chuckle that brought back far away memories of chasing Dorian through the halls of their estate.

Halward must have seen the look on my face, “Do you think of him often?” he asked. I nodded in response, “What happened between the two of you?”

“Well, Dorian didn’t like the idea of an arranged marriage, he thought he could never be happy being paired to a woman he didn’t even know,” he explained voice, sad.

My heart sank at the confession, inside me I had hoped that if I ever escaped from the Circle, I’d have a husband waiting for me here in Tevinter. I was out of practice, Halward knew everyone of my thoughts. He brought his hand to the side of my face, “Arya, if he would have known that you were his betrothed, he would have felt differently, of this I am sure.”

His smile was warm and welcomed me to speak my mind. “Why didn’t he know?” I asked

“The plan was to share the news with both of you once you returned after visiting your family. Then you were taken away and Dorian was very upset. In fact, he wanted to go after you. We cautioned against it, with the tensions in Kirkwall coming to a head, it would have been seen as a direct assault from the Imperium leading to war. Not to mention, Dorian would have been killed.”

“I thought sharing the news that you were to be his bride would have made it worse, so I kept it quiet,” he looked down, ashamed, “Now I’m not so sure that was the best choice.”

“Where is he now, Halward, perhaps I can speak with him?” the hope was there in my voice.

“I’m not sure my dear, he has refused contact. All I know is that he left the tutorage of his patron in the Magisterium and has since disappeared. As soon as I locate him, I will send word,” his eyes were heavy with the weight of his guilt.

“It has been nice to see you again my dear,” he said and then excused himself, disappearing back inside.

I turned back to the water, staring off, thinking about Dorian and what that life would have been like. My thoughts naturally turned to my life in the Circle, Meric and the children, I could have been happy in that life. Or would the lack of freedom have eventually gotten to me?

Meric and I would never have been allowed to wed or have children of our own. Our entire life would have been inside that building, how many things would we have missed? It reminded me of the Hero of Ferelden’s story, she was happy to spend her life in the confines of Kinloch Hold as long as Cullen was there. But if she stayed, she would never have met Leilana or Alistair, she never would have loved Alistair, she wouldn’t be remembered as the Hero of Ferelden.

My thoughts were interrupted by Eliza joining me.

“Everyone else is gone,” she said, “Come let’s chat.”

With that she led me to her chambers, and we spent the rest of the night and into the next day catching up. She confirmed what her father had said about Dorian and offered to use her husband’s network to search for Meric and Lila. We ended with a promise to get together again after she settled into her role as a mother.

The journey back home was full of reflection. What was I going to do with myself now? I was an adult and thus it wouldn’t be appropriate to return to the Pavus house.

I wasn’t a resident of the Imperium, so I couldn’t just stay there without a patron.

My family would keep me but with the Mage-Templar war, I was afraid I’d bring them harm.

Outside of their home, I was an apostate with no rights and would have to live my life hiding or join the Loyalist’s and be locked back up.

My choices were not the greatest and the closer I got to home the worse I felt about it.


	8. A Distraction: The Good Kind

Thankfully my mother was able to distract my mind with a trip to Antiva. It was glorious, the weather was warm, and the people were inviting.

We spent time getting reacquainted with one another and shopping… so much shopping.

Apparently, my mother used to be a bard in Antiva as a young woman and thus had a fair number of colorful friends. Fun facts she didn't share, me being a child and all.

Sitting at the tavern listening to their stories of manipulations, sex, murder, dancing, scheming, was fascinating. I have enough knowledge around understanding the behaviors of others, that I easily picked up the few tips shared with me by a young bard named, Lucy.

She was the epitome of an Antivan beauty with skin the color of milk chocolate, obsidian hair that fell past her waste is silken curls and eyes a deep brown that could easily take your mind if you stared at them long enough.

It all started with her instructing me on how to use my body and voice to entrance those around me. According to Lucy, with enough practice you can stop a war with a single glance. It didn’t take us long to have the entire tavern full of patron’s, putty in our delicate hands.

However, the more we worked the tavern the thicker our desire for each other grew. It was at the end of one dance that her lips found mine. Dancing as we were, it took only a small movement to close the distance between us. Her lips were soft and tentative but easily matched mine. Her hands found their way to my hair pulling me towards her just as she slid her tongue inside, dancing with mine, mimicking the movement of our feet. She pulled away, leaving me breathless and craving more. “Come,” she said leading to somewhere more private.  

Her brown eyes darkened with desire as she slowly removed my dress. She kissed me again a little more forceful but still soft. Her fingers trailing down my spine, tracing every curve. My lack of experience showed as I froze against her touch. “Just do as I do, I’ve already taught you how to rule a tavern full of patrons, now I will teach you how to take that command into the bedroom. Learn and enjoy, Arya.” Her words purred from her throat and brought a moan from mine.

We spent two entire days exploring each other, she was a marvelous instructor and by the end of the second day, I could bring her to climax without even touching her core. Our explorations were interrupted by a knock on our door,

“Lady Trevelyan,” a man’s voice called, “I have a number of letters that came in this morning.”

Extricating myself from Lucy’s sleeping form, I pulled on a robe and stepped out into the hall. The man handed me three letters and pointed to a room across the hall, “your mother said to have you meet her once you emerged.”

Taking the letters, I gave him a “thank you” and headed to the room he had motioned toward. I was just about to open it when an elven man came out. He had darker skin than most elves I'd encountered and shoulder length white hair pulled back to reveal attractive angular features.

“My lady,” he purred in a strong Antivan accent, “your mother will be available shortly, shall I keep you company in the meantime?”

His eyes ran along the length of my disheveled body and my heart skipped a beat, excited by his lingering stare. “Join me in the bath,” he said, and I followed, I really did need a bath.

The bathhouse was empty when we entered. He started the water, “do you mind?” he asked pointing to the slowly filling bath, “It will take too long to warm up.” I nodded and shot enough flame into the water to bring it to a steamy state. I then placed a couple fire runes under to keep it at the desired temperature. I jumped at the feeling of him behind me.

“Ah I apologize My Lady, I did not mean to surprise you,” he said as he undid my robe and watched as it fall to the floor. He had already discarded his own, grabbing my hand he led me to the now warm water. He motioned for me to sit on the small bench and grabbed the soap from the ledge, slowly he massaged it into my scalp, causing me to moan at the sheer pleasure of it.

He chuckled, deep and throaty, “I can massage other parts if you’d like,” his voice was barely a whisper at my ear and my flesh reacted with goosebumps. His fingers slid under the water and found their way to my cunt. Parting my lips, a groan came from his, as he slid them inside me, mimicking the same massaging movement within my core. It took only a moment before I was teetering on the edge of climax, “let it go,” he said and my body followed suit, convulsing around his fingers.

After getting cleaned up, we donned fresh robes and headed back toward my mother’s room. The timing was perfect, as two tavern staff entered right before us with trays of breakfast food, sausage, bread, cheese, kaffe’, potatoes, the smell was divine, and my stomach rumbled, “Ah yes,” the eleven-man said with another chuckle, “sex takes many calories, you must be famished.”

“Arya, Zevran,” my mother said as we entered the room, “sit and have some breakfast.”

“Arya have you had a chance to look at the letters you received?” mother asked.

“Uh no,” I said heat creeping up my face. “Zev, you just had to distract her, didn’t you?”

“Lady Trevelyan, your daughter is quite lovely, you can’t hold the distraction against me, I am but a man,” he said playfulness dancing across his grey eyes.

“Well, please read them Arya. I have a feeling they will be directing you to the same place I would like to discuss.”

Concern crossing my face, I pulled the letters out.

The first was from Eliza:

_Arya,_

_my husband has heard that Divine Justina V is planning a peace talk of sorts between the templars and mages. All are expected to attend, it’s at a place called the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Perhaps your friends will be there. Please let me know how it goes._

_Love Eliza_

 

The second, in reply to the letter I sent to Kirkwall:

_Lady Trevelyan,_

_There is no Templar by the name of Meric Stanus here currently. However, not long ago, the Right Hand of the Divine and the previous Knight Commander, took an entourage of templars to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Perhaps Ser Stanus joined them._

_Regards,_

_Viscount Bran_

 

Lastly, a reply to the letter I sent to First Enchanter Vivienne, enchanter of the imperial court:

_Lady Trevelyan,_

_I have the loyalist mages with me and would love to have you join us. Unfortunately, none by the name of Lila have shown up. As I do not feel safe attending the Conclave at the Temple of Scared Ashes, I have sent two of my most trusted members, please join them at the Temple or come directly to Orlais. Mages seeking sanctuary will be attending, perhaps your friend will there._

_Best regards,_

_Lady Vivienne_

 

“Do you know more about this conclave mother?” I asked

“I know that the Divine has called it in hopes of finding peace, the mage-templar war has caused devastation across Ferelden and Orlais, it needs to end one way or another and I want you there, to see first hand what the Divine’s plan is,” she said.

“A small tidbit of information from my sources say that if the conclave fails the Divine has called for an Inquisition led by her right and left hands,” Zevran added.

“What is an inquisition?” I asked

“There has not been one for many years but the last one founded the orders of the Templars and Seekers of Truth,” my mother added.

“Well, I guess I should head out then, it will be a long journey,” I said with a shrug. I felt unsure but I also knew that I couldn’t spend the rest of my life hiding in my parent’s home or on the run.

“Arya,” my mom said, “you will go as a representative of house Trevelyan, not as a mage and thus will be traveling for one of your standing. The carriage will be here to get you later today,” she said, “In the meantime, enjoy the company,” gesturing towards Zevran who gave a playful chuckle

“Ah yes, one can surely enjoy the company of a beautiful women,” he said. 


	9. A Journey to Nowhere or is it Somewhere?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya finally makes it to Haven, but does she find what she's looking for or does she find something more?

**A month later-----------------------------------**

I arrived in the town of Haven the day before the conclave. There was a masquerade planned that evening for the guests to attend. The Haven chantry had been repurposed for the night, decorated akin to Halamshirel. The bustling energy seeped into the air around the small mountain village. Fresh snow was falling, light from the flickering touches danced across the white landscape sending their warmth into the cold air.

My mother sent me prepared, standing in the little tent that was my “quarters” for the evening, I stared at my body in the long mirror. It was cold but I put flame runes in various placed to chase away the chill. I had bathed in the bathhouse and dried my hair. It fell in chestnut curls to my hips and I decided to keep it down rather than pile the curls atop my head, as I normally would.

Laying across the cot, was a dress of white satin, it had embellishments of diamond and rubies that sparkled in the soft candle light. Next to it were blood red slippers matching the rubies and a ruby and diamond mask, designed to outline my eyes. The outfit was beautiful and the contrast of my dark skin and hair against the satin added to its allure.

I wondered if I’d even recognize Meric or him me? Was he here? What about Lila?

The templars I had seen thus far, wore full armor so I couldn’t really see any of their faces. Meric, hated his armor though, he would have chosen regular clothes or leather armor. I took a swig of the wine that sat next to me and a deep breath to fight back the anxiety. Giving myself another look in the mirror I nodded, I looked amazing and was sure he’d come to me if he was here.

In front of the chantry stood two door men dressed in templar armor. “My lady,” they said as they opened the door for me. As I entered, I felt immediately self-conscious as almost every head turned to look in my direction. The whispers started and I tried to ignore them, heading directly to the bar for a drink.

Positioning myself so I had a decent view of the room, I started my search for Meric. There were several wearing templar armor, some wore the blue and silver armor of the Gray Wardens, some wore Orlesian garb and others were dressed nicely but not representative of anything specific.

I decided Meric would be one of the ones wearing the non-descriptive attire. I searched from man to man, looking for shoulder length black curls. But it was golden eyes, shining behind a metallic mask that caught my attention.

Our eyes held for just a moment, he smirked raising a stubbled lip which made my heart flutter and then turned quickly away. “Who is that?” I though looking at blond hair styled smoothly but with a few stray curls escaping here and there. The man was tall and broad, his composure said general or something military. I was still staring when he turned back meeting my gaze again. This time I looked away as the blush rose up my neck, “I was caught ogling.”

Refusing to look up again, I stepped from my perch and into the crowd, I needed another drink. Crossing the dance floor my hand was caught by another’s, warm and calloused from sword use. The hand spun me in an elaborate twist, pulling me hard against a solid chest. The smell of sandalwood filled my lungs. Whomever this was, pulled me against his chest, hand around my waste possessively.

“I didn’t think you’d be here,” a Ferelden accent whispered in my ear. I shuddered as he exhaled warm breath against my neck.

“I must say, the only thing better than you in this dress would be it in a pile on my floor,” his words were throaty and came out as a growl, his lips found there way to my neck and kissed up to my jaw line.

“Come with me,” he said spinning me to face him. Light hazel-brown eyes full of desire met mine, full lips found mine and pulled me into a lover ‘s embrace. I wanted to stop him, he obviously thought I was someone else, but his taste was intoxicating. I felt my fingertips spark against his tan skin, and he pulled away just far enough to chuckle, “no turning me into a toad, the templars may frown on that.” He found my lips again and lifted me into his arms carrying me from the dance floor.

Silence wrapped around us as he moved us away from the party. Setting my feet back down, he ran his fingers through my curls and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss and angling his hips so I could feel him firm and ready against my stomach. Moaning, I broke the kiss and he answered me with a growl, claiming my lips again. The deeper he kissed me the more I lost it, my composure breaking, my carefully placed wards being torn down. I felt the mana within me burn, the familiar glow dancing just under my skin. “Who was this man and how was he tearing my defenses down so easily?”

He moved his clever mouth down my throat and across the tops of my breasts. As he licked my skin, he took the mana into himself, absorbing it. This man was a templar, realization donning, I helped the process by pushing my mana inside of him.

“Oh fuck” he called eyes rolling back into his head at the sheer pleasure of the mana filling him. When his eyes met mine again, they were oozing with need. This time, I claimed his lips and pushed him back, his legs hit the edge of a bed and he collapsed upon it. His cock was straining against the leather of his breeches and I unlaced them, freeing it.

Pulling it into my mouth he shuddered in pleasure and grasped my curls, pulling my head down as he thrusted his hips up. It took only a few thrusts before he spilled his seed down my throat, his hands falling to his side in release.

Somehow, he had lost his mask and I looked up into his handsome features. Hazel brown eyes surrounded by tan skin and copper blond hair. He gave me a sideways grin as he caught me staring at him. “what is it?” he asked, “you’re looking at me like you’ve never seen me before.”

“I… I haven’t” is all I managed to stutter out before I turned to leave. “Wait,” his hand was on my arm, “Solona?” he questioned. I just stared confused, “he thinks I’m Solona?” I thought to myself but before I could say anything his fingers were removing my mask. He took a step back, “oh shit!” he said, “I… I’m such a fool, I’m so sorry,” he said falling to his knees at my feet.

Kneeling as well, I lifted his face to mine, “I should have said something on the dance floor, but in all honesty, I didn’t want you to stop,” I said with a shrug, “I should be the one apologizing, not you.” His hand found the side of my face, rubbing a calloused thumb across my lips, “who are you?”

Instead of answering him I closed the distance between us, I could smell the intoxicating taste of him on his breath and was overwhelmed with the need to taste him again. He paused for a moment, before giving into the kiss. My body reacted to him in a way I had never felt before. His tongue and mouth devoured mine, my magic surfacing again, sending sparks flying across the room. With the smoothness of a trained warrior, he lifted me from the ground, “wouldn’t want that dress to get dirty,” he said with a wink, “that’d be bad.” He undid the zipper and pulled the silken gown over my head, hanging it carefully nearby before turning back to me. Raising his hand tentatively he slid it along my curves from hip to jaw. “but you are beautiful,” he said before crashing his lips to mine again.

Next, I knew, we were on the bed, he was nestled between my legs, his hardness pressing against my slick core. His eyes held mine and there was so much within them, it was like seeing a future I could never had imagined. “Ready?” he questioned but didn’t really wait for my reply before sheathing himself deep inside me. My back arched toward him and his hand at the small of my back held me there as he pulled out and slid back in, burying himself as deep as he could. His eyes closed as he road the pleasure of each thrust, going deep and then pulling out everything except the tip of him. As our pace grew faster, our bodied fell into sync, as if they were familiar with each other. Once again, the sensation of familiarity, safety, home, was so intense it almost brought tears to my eyes. His lips found mine again, this time the kiss was intimate and covered the screams as we both climaxed.

He laid his head on my chest as our breathing and heart rates slowed. His copper blond hair smelled of sandalwood and campfire, “who was this man and why did I feel this way about him?” I was lost in my thoughts when he lifted his head, that lopsided grin on his face again, “will you tell me who you are now?”

“Arya, my name is Arya” I said

“You’re from the free marches?” he said more of a statement than a question, “I recognize the accent… Kirkwall?”

“Are you familiar with Kirkwall? I asked, curious why he mentioned it specifically.

“No, I’ve only passed through there, but I have a few friends from there,” he answered

“My family is from Kirkwall, but I have been in the Ostwick Circle for the past few years.” I explained.

“Family? Do you know the Champion?” he asked

So that’s why he was curious, he must know Hawke, I thought. “Well, yes” I said, “she is my cousin, but I haven’t seen her for many years.”

With that he looked up to meet my eyes. “Your cousin? Are you an Amell?” he asked excitement in his voice.

That’s when the realization hit me, he called me Solona, Solona Amell. I heard that she and I looked similar but…. “Do I look a lot like her?” I asked him, “I have never met her.”

I felt disappointed, was I just a substitute for her…. “Arya, you don’t even know this man, you can’t get jealous over him,” I told myself shaking my head.

He didn’t miss my inner turmoil, because he sat up and pulled me into his lap.

“Yes, you look almost identical to her and I thought you were her at first, but I didn’t just make love to Solona Amell, I made love to you, and even though I don’t even know you, I felt like that was what we did,” he said, “Do you… feel the same?”

He seemed sincere as the words spilled from him a little awkwardly. I was having a hard time putting my thoughts into words but managed to shake my head yes. He claimed my lips again, just as hungry as the first time. “Listen, Arya, I have to leave Haven tonight, but I will find you again,” he said before pulling on his clothes and heading to the door, “Wait,” I said, “you didn’t tell me your name?”

“Probably best if we keep it that way for now,” he said with a wink and then he was gone.

Laying back on the bed I let myself get lost in the lingering smell of him for a few moments before pulling my dress back on and using magic to fix my disheveled hair and makeup before stepping back into the main hall of the chantry.

The party was still going strong, the number of people had doubled. I made a beeline for the bar, looking down and trying not to get in anyone’s way. I failed, crashing into the cold metal of a Templar’s armor. “Andraste’s tits,” I cursed, before looking up into Meric’s face.

I couldn’t hide the girlish scream as I practically jumped into his arms. He caught me but put me back on my feet quickly and took a step back.

“Arya? What are you doing here?” he asked, voice cold.

“Meric, I’ve been looking for you and the evidence pointed to here, I came to find you of course why else would I be here?”

“You shouldn’t have come,” he said, eyes red with anger, “you are a mage and it is my duty to turn you in.” He started pulling me roughly toward the door.

“Meric, no, what are you doing, you’re hurting me.” I cried

He just ignored me, “blood magic is evil, and you are evil," he kept repeating it to himself. 

I couldn’t get free and using magic would be a death sentence, so I just screamed.

Meric came to an abrupt stop, a voice I was unfamiliar with addressed him, “I don’t think the lady wants to go with you,” the man said.

“Knight Commander, this woman is a blood mage, it is my duty to end her life,” Meric boasted.

“We are here under the Divine’s decree of peace and I will not have you break that,” the man stated, “let the girl go, NOW!”

Meric released me and I landed on my butt on the ground. Meric’s voice was venomous as he said “evil” and spat on me.

I tried to hold in the tears, but they came spilling down my face in streams. Meric had stormed off and I was left a crying mess at the feet of my protector. He helped me stand, “I’m uh so sorry my lady,” he said pulling a small piece of cloth from his pocket. He used it to wipe the tears and spit from my face.

As the tears dried, my vision cleared, and I recognized him as the man from when I first arrived at the ball, the one with the golden eyes...

He rubbed his hand against the back of his neck anxiously, “Are you uh, are you okay?” he asked. He had a few more escapist curls hanging over his forehead then he had earlier and, in all honesty, looked so done with being there. I couldn’t help but smile, “looks like I should be asking you the same thing,” I jested. He smirked, just as he did earlier and with a half chuckle said, “these things are ridiculous, I despise them, is it that obvious?”

Shaking my head, “yes… yes, it is, would you like to get some air?” I questioned, figuring he saved me, I may as well return the favor and give him a reason to escape, even if for only a moment. Rubbing his hand along his neck again, he smiled and motioned toward the door but was stopped when a young man dressed in unfamiliar armor approached, “Commander, Leilana and Cassandra are summoning you to the council room,” the young man said.

“I’ll be right there” he answered turning towards me, “another time perhaps?”

“Of course, Commander…”

He took a few steps toward the door before stopping and looking at me again. My mind was reeling with everything and I felt insecure under his gaze. Walking back to my side he took my hand and laid a gentle kiss upon it. His lips were soft but the stubble around them tickled my hand, “Cullen,” he said, “my uh my name is Cullen.”

He was nervous and it caused his golden eyes to shine. Something about his awkwardness was endearing and I couldn’t stop the giggle as I curtsied, “Pleased to meet you Messere, I’m Arya,” I said.

“The pleasure is all mine,” he countered then with one last kiss to my hand and a smirk that would make any girl swoon, he nodded “Please excuse me, duty calls,” before leaving with the younger man.

My mind and body were exhausted, so I excused myself from the ball and ended up in the bathhouse. Standing on the edge of the tub I was torn, I wanted to clean the tears, dirt and spit from my body but didn’t want to wash away the lingering scent of sandalwood.

Eventually the call of the warm water won over and I allowed myself to sink down into the lavender infused bath. My mind reflecting over the last few hours, what had gotten into Meric? Who was that handsome stranger? And the Commander... Commander of what?

I stayed until my fingers began to prune up, then made my way to the tent, which was my home for the night. I wonder what this conclave will bring? And what I will do next?

 


	10. A Journey to Nowhere or is it Somewhere? Part 2 (Cullen POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen hates parties, why do they insist he attend.. politics hmph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Conclave Ball scene from Cullen's POV. I wanted a chance to toss in some characterization from outside of Arya's mind. I will try to do this more often, I think it adds to the story. Tell me your thoughts :)

**Conclave Ball Cullen POV**

“No, Josephine, I will not go, I refuse to parade around to impress the Chantry.”

“If not for the Chantry, do it for the Divine, she chose you as Commander, make her proud.”

Ugh these women were insufferable, I have never found pleasure in the politicking and intrigue of court. Why do they insist on bringing it into the Divine’s conclave, “because the masses want it,” Leilana had said, the masses can kiss my Andrastian arse.

“Look, you can wear a mask, no one will even know you are you,” Josephine said, holding up a dark metallic mask.

“FINE!,” I said defeat heavy in my voice, grabbing it and storming form the council chambers to my room. Guess I should put on that damned finery I’ve been carrying around since Kirkwall.

A couple hours later______________________________________________

Stepping inside the chantry, I was surprised at how quickly it had been transformed. It was only a few hours ago I was in here arguing with Josephine and Leilana. The place looked completely different. And Maker save me, it was full of a lot of people.

Everyone was dressed for the masquerade, some wore armor others donned the top Orlesian formal wear, every one of them had on a mask. I felt out of place but thankful for the anonymity of the experience. Grabbing a drink from the bar, I found a spot on the wall next to a gentleman wearing the blue and silver of the Wardens.

 “I didn’t know the Warden’s would be interested in Chantry politics,” I said, just to make conversation.

The man turned hazel brown eyes to me, “What can I say, without a Blight, Warden life is incredibly boring,” he said with a chuckle.

“What about you? A Templar, who isn’t flaunting his allegiance like a bird of paradise?” he asked

“Former templar” I said with a shrug

“Ahh yes, me too,” he said, nonchalantly grabbing a handful of cheese from the passing hors d’oeuvre tray.

“Its not common to meet another former, where are you…”

Before I could finish my sentence, he blurted out “Andraste’s knickers, what is she doing here?”

Following his gaze, my eyes landed on a woman across the room. She wore a white silk gown that sparked in the soft light. It contrasted well with her sun kissed skin and reddish-brown curls that fell to her hips and looked soft as rose petals. Her face was partially covered by a mask of rubies, but it did nothing to obscure her beauty or the delicate splatter of freckles that graced her cheeks. However, when my eyes met hers, I was frozen in place, bright sapphires shone through her mask causing me to look away.

I pulled my gaze free and looked to the spot the Warden had been standing, he was gone, lost to the crowd.  Those eyes, I haven’t seen them since…

_“I need to speak with you in private” she said walking into the little room off the Chantry. After glancing around for any possible spectators, I followed her. Sweat was dripping down my spine and I was thankful my armor hid it. She had her back to me, brown curls spilling from a high ponytail and laying against the golden orange of her mage robes. The color looked good on her, which was quite the feat, since it looked horrible on most people._

_When she turned to me her bright sapphire eyes were full of emotion. She didn’t say a word, but in an instant closed the distance between us. Her lips tasted sweet, like wine and lyrium. Instinctively, my arms found her waste pulling her against the steel plate of my armor. I wanted to feel her skin against mine, I wanted to consume her, devour her, claim her as mine to the world. She pulled away, unsure, bright eyes holding unshed tears. “My heart,” I whispered before pulling her into another embrace._

No, Solona was gone, disappeared, maybe dead, maybe on some secret Warden mission, it didn’t matter. I know I shouldn’t have but nonetheless, I gave another look in the direction of the women. Our eyes met once again but only for an instant before she looked away.

I took a step into the crowd, “it won’t hurt to at least introduce myself” I thought. “Commander, Commander” a young man wearing scout armor came up to me “Commander, the Seeker is looking for you and she is angry,” he said.

“So much for anonymity,” I thought, sending one more glance at the crowd but not seeing the lovely lady in the white dress, I followed the scout out of the chantry and into the frigid winter air.

\---------------------

Seeker Pentaghast was pacing across the tavern floor when I entered. “I’m sorry Commander, I tried to give her a drink, but she knocked it from my hands,” the barmaid Flissa confessed.

“That lying shit…. he knows where the Champion is, but he won’t tell me,” she fumed.

“How do you know he is lying? Leilana asked, “Let me send some scouts to Kirkwall or to the Warden’s, someone must know where Hawke or Anders are.”

“We don’t have time,” Cassandra said, cheeks flushed, matching the red of her lips. “The peace talks are tomorrow, and we need an Inquisitor ready in case they fail”

With a sigh of frustration I interrupted, “Leilana, please send a couple scouts, it wont hurt,” I said. “Cassandra, we can’t do anything about it right now, please have a drink with me and tell me what you did find out from Varric?”

She let out a humph of anger but took the drink Flissa offered and sat down at the table. After allowing Cassandra to vent her frustrations and having a few drinks, my brain was moving to fast to sleep, so I went back to the party.

I didn’t know what was happening, but I could tell by how people formed a circle that something was amiss. Stepping through the formed group, I came face-to-face with a former colleague, Meric Stanus, dark curls framed dark green eyes, red with rage.

He was dragging someone along behind him, “I don’t think the lady wants to go with you,” I said trying to hide the surprise from my voice. Meric trained under me in Kirkwall and he was always light hearted and funny. Not at all like the man before me.

“Knight Commander, this woman is a blood mage, it is my duty to end her life,” he sputtered angrily. I risked a glance behind him to the so-called blood mage and was met with those bright blue eyes once again. This was the women in the white dress. A mage? I hadn’t sensed it earlier but being this close I could hear the song of her mana, dancing like a leaf in the breeze. Nonetheless, we were here for peace and she did not seem like a blood mage to me.

“We are here under the Divine’s decree of peace and I will not have you break that,” I stated, holding my ground, “let the girl go, NOW!”

I thought he was going to argue but instead he pulled the girl close to his face, “evil” he said spitting and dropping her to the chantry floor before he stormed from the room.

I took a step to go after him, his behavior unacceptable but stopped when I heard her soft sobs. Crouching down, I grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. Her skin was soft and warm to the touch, causing my heart to flutter. “I’m uh so sorry my lady,” I said, pulling a small cloth from my pocket.

With one hand under her chin, I carefully wiped the spit and tears from her cheeks. This close, she was even more stunning. I started to sweat and felt like the young man I was back in Kinloch Hold. “Are you uh, are you okay?” I stuttered, sounding as naive as I felt.

The moment seemed to stretch as she looked at me, hand outstretched as if she was going to touch me. Slowly a vibrant smile crossed her face, “looks like I should be asking you the same thing,” she said, laughter sparkling in her eyes. I couldn’t hold back the chuckle, “these things are ridiculous, I despise them, is it that obvious?” I asked.

She laughed and in that moment the room was silent, “yes… yes, it is, would you like to get some air?” she asked.

“Thank the Maker, I’d love to get out of here” I thought, with a nod, motioning to the door. She stepped into pace beside me but before we could take a step, I was approached by Leilana’s scout again.  “Commander, Leilana and Cassandra are summoning you to the council room,” he said. I sighed in exacerbation, “I’ll be right there,” turning toward the lovely lady at my side “another time perhaps?”

“Of course, Commander…” she said with a warm smile. Returning her smile, I followed the scout towards the door, then stopped. Looking behind me, she stood there looking unsure and out of place. “Wait a moment,” I told the scout before stepping back to her, I lifted her hand to my lips and laid a gentle kiss upon it, “Cullen, my uh my name is Cullen” I said, ignoring the heat raising up my face.

She giggled and gave a slight curtsy, “Pleased to meet you Messere,” she said, “I’m Arya.” I couldn’t place her accent but knew it was from the Free Marches from her address.

“The pleasure is mine,” I said with a nod of acknowledgment, “please excuse me, duty calls,” with one last kiss to her hand, I stepped in pace behind the scout, who gave me a knowing smile before saying “this way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback scene is influenced by the Cullen Romance Opton-Mage Origin mod from Cmessaz https://www.nexusmods.com/dragonage/mods/1949


	11. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya awakes to find things have changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of actual game play! For those of you who are reading, thanks for staying with me while I explored Arya's background.
> 
> And screen shots at the end! I like visuals, hope you enjoy them too :)

* * *

 

Green… a ghastly, sickening green, like mold on bread……

The scurrying of feet… spiders.... eyes… too many eyes and what is that light?

Climbing toward it and it’s a woman… the silhouette of a woman…… then pain, searing pain and cold… it’s so cold

 

* * *

 

The first thing I felt was the pain, my left hand burnt like a thousand volts of electricity were striking me. I opened my eyes to a green glow, "where is that coming from," I thought looking around. I heard a crack, just before the pain seared through my hand and up my arm. Looking at the source of the pain, I answered my own question. The eerie glow was coming from me, from my hand. In the middle of my palm was a gash and within it… green light...?

It crackled and the green shot up my arm, filling the cell with that eerie light. Wait… a cell? why was I in a cell, I felt the cold iron of the shackles heavy on my wrists. Where am I? What is going on? A scream escaped my mouth as the thing on my hand crackled. Then, white light from outside and the silhouette of a woman, “have I seen this before?” I thought. The woman stepped into the dungeon, anger on her face.

“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now,” she stated rather than questioned

Circling me she continued, “The conclave is destroyed, everyone who attended is dead. Except for you.”

My mind was in shock, “what do you mean they are all dead?” I questioned searching the woman’s face for answers but finding only hatred.

“Explain this,” she said grabbing my left arm.

“I can’t,”

“What do you mean you can’t” she spat in my face.

“I don’t know what that is or how it got there,” my eyes pleading for her to understand.

“You’re LYING,” grabbing me again and wrenching up, she would have pulled my arm from its socket if she hadn’t been interrupted by the other woman.

“We need her Cassandra,” the other woman stated, stepping between us.

Memories of the previous night filtered through my mind, “I can’t believe it… all those people, dead.”

The other woman stepped in front of me, “Do you remember what happened, how this all began?” her Orlesian accent made the words seem less angry.

I looked up at her, she wore a hood, hiding all her features except for the red hair that fell to her shoulders.

“I remember, running, things were chasing me and then a woman” I tried to explain but the fog in my head wouldn’t clear.

“A woman?” the redhead asked

“She reached out for me but then….” My head sank in defeat, nothing else came.

“Go to the forward camp Leilana, the first women said, her Nevarran accent easy to recognize now, “I will take her to the rift.”

With a nod the redhead left.

“What did happen?” I asked

Releasing me from the cuffs and raising me to my feet she said, “it will be easier to show you,” before leading me out of the dungeon.

We were in the Chantry again, I recognized the bits and pieces of decoration from last nights gala. I wondered about the people I met last night, the stranger, Cullen, Meric were they really all dead? Silent tears slid down my cheeks, as I mourned the loss of so many people.

Pushing the heavy Chantry doors open we stepped outside, my attention was immediately drawn upward, where a huge swirling hole filled with the same green light, filled the sky.

“We call it the Breach,” the woman explained, “it’s a massive rift into the realm of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It is not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion of the conclave”

“An explosion can do that?” I questioned

She turned to me, her face still stern but with fear rather than anger, “This one did. Unless we act, the Breach may grow until it swallows the world.”

Another crackle and pain shot through my hand once again, bringing me to my knees.

“Each time the Breach expands, your mark grows, and it is killing you,” she said hovering above me. “It may be the key to stopping this but there isn’t much time.”

Her eyes held a question, would I help…

If I had the key to stopping that thing in the sky from swallowing the world, I must do what I can.

“I understand,” I said

“Then?” she voiced the question her eyes held

“I’ll do what I can, whatever it takes,” I confirmed.

Her poise changed then, relief or something, she helped me up and continued leading me through the town.

“They have decided your guilt, the need it. The people of Haven mourn the most holy Divine Justinia, head of the Chantry. The Conclave was hers, it was a chance for peace between mages and templars. She brought their leaders together, now they are dead.”

She explained, words full of passion and disappointment. “We lash out like the sky, but we must think beyond ourselves, like she did, until the Breach is sealed,” she said. It was in that moment I saw through her anger to the wisdom and strength within. In that moment, I felt like we could be friends. 

“Come, it is not far,” she said releasing me from the ropes binding my wrists,

“Where are you taking me?” I asked, curiosity winning over

“Your mark must be tested on something smaller than the Breach. We are heading into the valley to find such a rift,” she explained.

Another crackle from above and the mark on my hand mimicked it. The pain was growing less surprising but still pulled a gasp from me.

“The pulses are coming faster now. The larger the Breach grows, the more rifts appear, the more demons we face,” she said, “we must be prepared.”

Still trying to wrap my head around what happened, I tried asking this woman again, “How did I survive the blast?

This time she replied, “Our forces said you stepped out of a rift, then fell unconscious. They say a woman was in the rift behind you, no one knows who she was.”

“Forces? Are you part of an army?” I questioned but before she could answer the bridge shook under our feet, giving out, we fell landing hard but without injury on the frozen lake below.

All around us the greenish light oozed, a whispering surrounded us right before two demons manifested from the ooze. “Stay behind me,” she said before drawing her sword and rushing at one of them. Looking around me, I saw a discarded staff in the rubble. I had never been much for staves, they were bulky and unnecessary really. When Dorian and I used to train, I used a combination of daggers and spells, but I didn’t see any daggers and wanted to conserve mana as much as I could. Grabbing the staff, I focused through it shooting flames forth, striking the second demon, following it with a ball of electricity, the demon dissolved into a pile of ash.

“Drop your weapon,” she said coming at me, sword still drawn.

I put one hand out, asking her to stay back, “Okay, I will disarm,” I said before setting the staff on the ground.

“Wait, you are right, I cannot protect you, nor can I expect you to be defenseless. I should remember you agreed to come willingly,” she said sheathing her sword and continued up the path. “We are almost there, you can hear the fighting”

“Who’s fighting?”

“you’ll see, soon enough, we must help them.”

Cresting the top of a hill we came across a rift in the middle of a ruined courtyard. There were several people fighting the demons pouring from its depths.

With a rallying call, she rushed into the fray and I followed shooting lightening and fire balls until the last demons disappeared.

“Quickly, before more come through” a voice called, grabbing my hand and forcing it toward the rift. The green light grew brighter and reached out toward the rift, through the tingling pain I could feel the sides of the veil, like torn fabric. Using the power of the mark, I grabbed the frayed edges and brought them back together, once they were close, they melded into one, and the rift closed, leaving nothing in its wake but dead demons and tired soldiers.

An elf stood next to me, grasping my hand, “What did you do?” I asked

Releasing me with a smug smile he said, “I did nothing, the credit is yours.”

I looked down at the glowing green spot on my hand, “You mean the mark.”

“Whatever magic opened the Breach also put that mark on your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened up in the Breaches wake and it seems I was correct.”

“meaning it could also close the Breach itself” the Nevarran asked

“Possibly, it seems you hold the key to our salvation,” he replied.

From behind me, “Good to know, here I though we’d be ass deep in demons forever,” said a dwarf holding a crossbow that matched him in height. “Varric Tethras, rogue, story teller and occasional unwanted guest,” he said with a wink at the woman, who replied with a disgusted grunt.

Looking between the two of them, I felt tension thick as butter, these two have a history I thought to myself. Attempting to change the subject I searched for something to say, “Nice crossbow, you’ve got there,” I settled on, even though it sounded awkward.

“isn’t she, Bianca and I have been through a lot together,” the dwarf said lovingly petting his weapon.

“you named your crossbow Bianca?” I asked

“Of course, and she’ll be great company in the valley,” he said looking at the women

“Absolutely not!” “Your help is appreciated Varric but…”

The dwarf spoke over her, “Have you been in the valley lately Seeker, your soldiers aren’t in control anymore, you need me,” he assured.

She just stormed away with another disgusted grunt. Seeker, I had read about the Seekers of Truth who lead the Templars but had never met one in person. Thinking back to earlier, in the dungeon, the redhaired woman had called her Cassandra.

My reminiscing was interrupted by an even tone coming from behind me.

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions, I am pleased to see you yet live,” the elf said.

“He means, I kept that mark from killing you while you slept,” Varric added.

“You seem to know a great deal about it all?” I asked curiously

Cassandra stepped in, “Unlike you, Solas is an apostate, well versed in such matters.”

“Technically all mages are now apostates Cassandra,” he countered, “My travels have allowed me to learn much of the fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle Mage. I came to offer whatever assistance I can give with the Breach. If it is not closed, we are all doomed, regardless of origin.”

Although his words were neutral, I still felt like he was belittling me, something in the way his face held that smug, I am better, look.

“That’s a commendable attitude,” I said, giving him the benefit of the doubt. “Merely a sensible one, although sense appears to be in short supply right now,” he said with a chuckle.

“Cassandra you should know, the magic involved here in unlike any I have seen. Your prisoner is a mage, but I find it difficult believing any mage could have this much power,” he said, eyes darting between us.

“Understood,” Cassandra confirmed, “We must get to the forward camp quickly.”

“Well… Bianca’s excited,” Varric commented as the four of us headed down the mountain.

In the distance I could see the entrance to some type of structure, but another rift hovered between us and the door.

“Seal it, like before,” Solas yelled as we ran into the fray. The green light shot between my hand and the rift, pulling the sides together it disappeared, like before.

“It’s gone, open the gates,” Cassandra called to the guard posted at the door.

On the other side was a bridge of some sort, people and supplies were scattered all about. I saw the redhaired woman from earlier arguing with a priest. As we approached them the priest turned to me with a look of hatred. “Ah here they come,” he said.

“You made it,” the woman commented looking at Cassandra with comradery before turning to the priest, “Chancellor Rodrick this is…” her words were cut off by the chancellor.

“I know who she is,” he said looking at Cassandra, “As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry I hereby order you to take this criminal to Val Royaeux to face execution.”

Taking a defensive step forward, “Order me? You are a glorified clerk, a bureaucrat,” she spat.

“And you are a thug, but a thug who supposedly serves the Chantry,” he shot back.

“We survey the Most Holy,” the redhead jumped in

“Justinia is dead, we must elect her replacement and follow Her orders on the matter,” he argued.

Their bickering made me crazy, “Shouldn’t we be focused on closing the Breach?” I questioned.

“It’s your fault the Breach is here in the first place,” his anger turned back to me. “Call a retreat Seeker,” he said, “our position here is hopeless.”

Cassandra had her stubborn face and stepped to his side with a huff. “We can stop this before it is too late,” she said

“How,” he asked shaking his head, “You won’t survive long enough to reach the temple, even with all your soldiers.”

“We must get to the temple, it’s the fastest way.” Cassandra said

“But not the safest” the redhead added, “our forces can charge as a distraction while we go through the mountains,” she said pointing in the distance.

They all looked at me, “What do you think we should do?” Cassandra asked.

“Now you want my opinion,” I said. These people are insane first they want me dead, now they want me to lead... which one is it?

“You’re the one with the mark,” Solas said

“You’re the one we must keep alive,” Cassandra added

Thinking through our options:

1: retreat

2: charge with the soldiers

3: take the mountain path while the soldiers act as a distraction

“Take the mountain path,” I said, “Work together, we all know what’s at stake.”

Stepping up to the redhead Cassandra said, “Leilana, bring everyone still left in the valley, everyone.”

With a nod to Cassandra and myself, Leilana took off back the way we came.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48005522763/in/dateposted-public/)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48005524388/in/dateposted-public/)


	12. Take the Mountain Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya leads the way through the mountain and into a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of corpses and body parts  
> Updated on 6/11/19, I forgot to add the screenshots the first time. I have so many great screenshots, how many do you all prefer be added?

The mountain path wasn’t nearly as strenuous as I thought. We had to climb into an old mine and follow the tunnels through the mountain. There were a few demons but nothing we couldn’t handle. Once we were on the other side, I felt a faint tingling in my hand, there was another rift nearby.

Just as I said that to my companions, we turned a corner and saw the eerie green glow reflecting on the white snow. There was a clash of swords as the remaining members of the lost patrol fought against never-ending demons. We took out the demons quickly and I reached out, grabbing the frayed sides of the tear and melding them into one.

“Sealed, as before,” Solas said, “You are becoming quite proficient at this.”

“Let’s hope it works on the big one,” Varric stated.

“Thank the Maker you finally arrived Cassandra,” the scout said, “I don’t think we could have held out much longer.”

“Thank our prisoner Lieutenant, she insisted we come this way,” Cassandra clarified motioning me over.

“The prisoner?” questioned the scout, “then you…”

“It was worth saving you if we could” I said with a nod.

“Then you have my sincere gratitude,” the scout said, placing her fist across her chest.

“The way to the forward camp is clear at the moment, go while you still can,” Cassandra directed.

“Yes, yes of course” the patrol members said before heading back through the mountain.

* * *

 

The Temple wasn’t much farther, as we approached the stench of burnt flesh filled the air. Charred corpses were scattered everywhere around what remained of the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

“That is were you walked out of the fade and where our soldiers found you. They say a woman was behind you, no one knows who she was” Cassandra explained.

A woman? I remembered a silhouette, barely visible through the endless green. Why was everything so foggy in my mind?

We made our way inside, stepping carefully over rubble and bits and pieces of what once were people.

I could help but think how like this, they all look the same. Whether mage, templar, elf, human, dwarf, Orlesian, Tevinter, Ferelden it doesn’t make a difference in the end, death is death.

In this case, this death was immense and senseless.

My boundaries were locked tight, but I could feel the souls, tickling like a loose hair blowing in a gentle breeze, against my necromancy. I wonder who was here, of all these people who was trying to connect with me?

My thought process was interrupted as we came out onto a ledge overlooking ground zero, where a huge crater now made up the main hall of the Temple. In the middle of it all hovered the the Breach, it was huge, pulsing green but no demons were spilling from its depths like the rifts we came across on our way through the valley.

“You’re here! Thank the Maker,” Leilana came trotting up to us, an entourage of solders and scouts at her back.

“Leilana, have your men take up positions around the temple,” Cassandra ordered

With a slight nod, the red-haired women issued the command, and they all dispersed.

Cassandra turned to me, face set sharp, “This is your chance to end this, are you ready?”

I looked past her to the green rift filling the sky, “I’ll try, but I don’t even know if I can reach that, much less close it.”

Solas stepped forward, “No, this rift was the first and it is the key, we must seal it and with it, the Breach.”

I couldn’t help but smile, at least Solas is confident, however I was beginning to think that was a normal thing.

“Alright, let’s find a way down,” I said, using the elf’s confidence to boost my own.

We wound our way down the sides of the crater, red crystal-like columns jutted out from the walls and the floors. The deeper we went the more we saw.

“You know what this stuff is? It’s red lyrium Seeker?” Varric questioned.

“I see it Varric,” she confirmed.

“Whatever you do, don’t touch it,” he added, a shudder clear in his voice.

As if the red and green stalagmites jutting from the walls and ground weren’t creepy enough, I started to hear a voice. It was like an echo inside my head but also all around, in the very air.

“Here is the hour of our victory,” the voice was deep and ominous, it sent chills running through me. “Bring forth the sacrifice.”

I wasn’t sure if I was the only one hearing the voice, it was hard to tell because everyone’s face was set in horror.

Cassandra spoke up first, and I was thankful the voice wasn’t just speaking to me, “What are we hearing?” the Seeker asked

“At a guess, the person who created the Breach,” Solas answered

Jumping down to the ground directly below the Breach, other voices joined with the first.

“Someone! Help me!” a woman called, it sounded so familiar, like a word on the tip of your tongue.  

“What’s going on here?” my voice echoed through the chamber.

“That was your voice,” Cassandra said stepping to my side, “Most Holy called out to you for help but…” her words trailed off as the space around us started to shimmer, images appeared, time transposed from past onto present.

An elderly woman wearing the crown of the Maker being held, arms outstretched. Her transgressors faded to darkness at her sides. A dark figure loomed over her, his form wavering in and out of reality like smoke dancing around a campfire. A noise and both the woman and figure turn in its direction. It’s me, the noise was me interrupting whatever was happening. Even seeing it transpire in front of me, I couldn’t remember it in my own head, every time I tried fog crept in like magic, something was stopping me form remembering.

“Run while you can, warn them,” The Divine called to me.

“We have an intruder… kill her,” the figure's deep voice demanded whomever was there with him. Then a flash and the images disappeared, lost to time.

“What are we seeing here,” Cassandra said, voice angry, “You were there, what happened, where is the Divine, are these visions real?”

“I don’t remember,” I retaliated, despite knowing her frustration wasn’t really directed at me.

 “Echoes of what’s happened here, the fade bleeds into this place” Solas replied, as if that clarified it all.

Looking at the huddling soldiers he began spouting directions. “The rift is sealed but not closed,” he called, “we will need to open it and reseal it correctly. However, doing so may draw attention from the other side.”

“That means demons,” Cassandra called, “stand ready.”

Once the soldiers were in place, I reached in and pulled the flimsy thread holding the rift closed. It unraveled, as it did so, a Pride demon crawled out, whipping a chain of lightening which caught Leilana in the shoulder. She flew across the space and I ran in her direction, aiming to cushion her fall with a ward. It wasn’t needed. Like a cat, she twisted mid-air, righting herself and landing crouched, bow drawn. With a wink at me, she littered the demon with a rain of fire arrows, jumping back as it took another swing at her.

I positioned myself directly beneath the rift and behind the demon. It had strong protection wards that only faltered for the few seconds the rift was dispelled. We fell into a pattern, I’d disrupt it, breaking the wards and we’d all throw our full power at the demon. Cassandra and the soldiers going after it with swords. Varric and Leilana arrows. It absorbed electricity so Solas and I alternated, him ice and me fire.

After several attempts to tighten the threads I finally had a good enough grasp, just as Cassandra fell the Pride demon with a blood curdling scream and slash of her claymore.

“Now,” she shouted.

Reaching up into the green depths, I pulled the threads, the green fire consumed my body, boiling my blood. My vision clouded with white, my outstretched hand completely covered in the green light. Around me everything faded away, consumed by green and then white and then black.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48046701492/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48046617101/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48046655253/in/dateposted-public/)


	13. The Inquisition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya is introduced to the team and finds them both intriguing and intimidating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post this chapter, I graduated last weekend and have had family from out of town staying with me for over a week. It's been intense. Enjoy!

* * *

 

Consciousness came to me slowly. I was laying on a bed in a small hut. I could hear the crackle of a fire nearby and felt its heavy warmth, chasing away the cold. I took a mental note of my body, no pain but I felt stiff, like I’d been in the same position for a while. Memories of green light and demons flickered in my mind, causing me to jump to a sitting position, “The Breach!”

I heard a crash and jerked my head toward the door. A young elven girl was standing there staring at me, white with fear. “I’m so sorry my lady, I didn’t know you were awake,” she said before falling to her knees on the floor.

“Why are you afraid,” I asked

“Oh, I said the wrong thing didn’t I, I am but a humble servant, they are saying you saved us all,” she stammered

“So, it’s over?” I asked, “We’re safe?”

“The Breach is still in the sky, but it is stable now, like the mark on your hand.”

“Seeker Pentaghast will want to know you have awakened, she said at once, at once.”

“Where is she?” I asked

“in the Chantry with the Lord Chancellor, at once she said,” then the girl ran from the hut leaving me alone and only slightly less confused then I was before.

Sitting back on the bed I stared at the “mark” on my left hand, the green glow was still there but faint. “what is this thing?”

“Where did it come from?”

“Why do I have it?”

I had so many questions and so few answers. Perhaps Solas knows, he seemed familiar with it. But something about him caused me to hesitate, I couldn’t help but feel like he was hiding something.  He uses “I’ve seen it in the fade,” as an explanation a lot. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in the fade but have not been able to control where I go or what I see.

He expects ignorance from me because I am a “Circle Mage,” but I am not a Circle Mage. He is Somniari, a Dreamer, I studied the Somniari in Tevinter. Is that what he is hiding? I considered confronting him but decided to allow him to underestimate me for now, I just don’t feel comfortable showing more of my hand.

Pulling myself from my thoughts, I better make my way to Cassandra before she comes and gets me. I opened the door to the small hut and was faced with a crowd of people lining the pathway to the Chantry. They didn’t speak to me directly but as I walked, I heard the whispers,

“they say she saved us.”

“It was Andraste in the rift behind her”

“she has been sent by the Maker.”

My pace quickened to a jog, I was feeling really uncomfortable with all these people watching me.

Stepping through the heavy chantry doors I lent against them, thankful for silence. Sisters milled around the small space, minding their own and not interacting with me.

At the far end was another heavy door, a light shining from beneath it. As I approached, I could make out angry voices, that Chancellor from before, directing them to take me to Val Royaeux for a trial. Cassandra, countering by sending the soldiers away.

Stepping through the door just as the soldiers left, “I am still a suspect than?” I asked "Even after everything we did?" 

“YES!” from the Chancellor

“NO!” from Cassandra

“I saw what happened at the Temple, the Divine called to her for help,” Cassandra said, dropping a heavy tome onto the table between us. “This is the Divine’s directive, rebuild the Inquisition of old,” her voice filled with passion.

“Restore peace amidst the chaos,” Leilana added.

Recognizing defeat, Chancellor Rodrick stormed from the room, muttering to himself about blasphemy.  

“We aren’t ready. We have no leader, no forces and now no Chantry support,” Leilana mused.

“But we must, and we must do it with you at our side,” Cassandra’s heavy gaze fell on me.

The Inquisition of Old, I knew this as a holy war after the First Blight and Andraste's Exalted March, before the founding of the Chantry. Around 100 Ancient, it was formed to protect the people from the tyranny of magic. It is what started the Circles, the Templar Order and the Seekers.

Looking at the Seeker in front of me, I wondered if she was aware of the history of her own order. Would building it again really change things? I had an unsettling feeling about it.

“You want a Holy War?” I asked

“We are already at war, you are already involved, it’s mark is already upon you,” Cassandra stated, “It being Holy is still unknown.”

She wasn’t wrong, as a Mage, I was involved prior to the mark on my hand. As I had realized on the journey back from Eliza’s estate, I could not just hide in the Imperium and ignore the rest of Thedas.

“We aim to restore order, what that looks like…” Leilana added sensing my hesitation, “but it starts with getting rid of the Breach completely.”

Something needed to be done, and at present, I was the only one able to close the rifts. That being the case, assisting was the right thing to do and more importantly the ONLY thing I could do.

I nodded to the women before me, “for now, to close the Breach and restore order, I will stand with you.”

This seemed to please them and they both left to spread the word that the Inquisition was alive once more. Dropping my gaze to the tome, I was filled with the weight of what I had just agreed to. The table beneath the large book was a map of Thedas and now it all sat on my shoulders.

Shit, I needed a drink.

**The Singing Maiden___________________________________________**

“Oh you’re her!” the bar tender squealed as I approached, “I’m Flissa, I manage the Inquisition’s tavern.”

“Nice to meet you Flissa, give be whatever is on special,” I said claiming a seat at the bar. “Right, of course,” she said with a grin.

I sat in silence my back to the tavern, I was hoping it’d keep me from being noticed. Flissa prattled away with the patrons, mostly gossip and I didn’t pay much attention to it, stuck in my own head.

I was struggling with this idea of an Inquisition or The Inquisition; the original was against magic but really it was against the Imperium. Will Cassandra still want to partner with me once she learned of my connection to Tevinter? Or will I become a way to blame the Imperium if this whole thing fails? Should I tell them or keep it to myself? Perhaps allowing them to see me as just another Circle Mage would be good, at least for now.

“Did you see the Commander, training the recruits on the field?” a female’s voice questioned. Their mention of Commander, reminded me of the conclave gala and Commander Cullen, I never found out what he commanded, I wonder if he survived the explosion?

“Maker he is easy on the eyes,” another replied giggling uncontrollably.

I must have been smiling at their conversation because Flissa approached me, “He’s out there on the field right now, if you want to see for yourself,” she winked and handed me another mug. I just shook my head, “Another time perhaps, this brew is all the company I need right now.”

Thoughts of that night pulled me back to it. I felt tears well in my eyes as Meric’s face flashed before me. The sparkle within his dark eyes when he laughed. How he animated the stories while reading to the Circle’s children. His touch, a soft caress, on my bare skin. What had gotten into him? Perhaps he was brainwashed or reeducated as the Qunari call it. The Meric I knew and loved, wouldn’t have spoken about mage’s like that, he wouldn’t have treated me in such a way. Whomever that man was, he wasn’t the man I had known. My Meric must have died when the Ostwick Circle rebelled.

I took the last swig of my drink and hailed Flissa to bring another. Just as she sat it in front of me Farren, the young elven girl from earlier, came running in, “Thank the Maker I found you,” she said gasping for breath, “Seeker Pentaghast is searching for you, probably best she doesn’t find you here.”

Hmm, what was wrong with me being here, I wondered. Standing, I motioned for Flissa, “I’ll have to come back for that last drink later, I am being beckoned apparently,” I said handing her a stack of silvers. “I look forward to it, my lady” she said with a small curtsy.

* * *

 

Cassandra met me at the door to the chantry, “There you are,” she said with a huff. I followed her inside. “Does it bother you?” she asked me with a nod to the mark on my hand.

“I just wish I knew what it was and how I got it,” I replied.

“Our first priority must be closing the Breach, and Solas believes that with enough power forced through that mark, we can close it for good. After that, we will find the source, this I promise you,” she pledged.

“Yes, lets play with immense power that we can’t even comprehend, sounds fun!” I jested

She actually smiled, I think it was the first I’ve seen, “I hope you hold onto that sense of humor.”

With that we stepped through the far door into the room from before. Three people stood on the other side of the table map.

As soon as we entered Cassandra started with introductions, “I want to introduce, Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition’s forces,”

“Pleased to…” he started to say then stopped once our eyes met, “Arya?” he questioned, face turning a bright shade of pink, hand going to the back of his neck, “I assumed you… uh well…” he stuttered turning even more pink,

“died,” I completed his sentence for him, “I thought the same thing about you.”

To my left I heard a girlish giggle and turned to see Leilana, her curious eyes shimmering with joy.

“Ugh” Cassandra’s classic disgusted grunt

“Lady Josephine Montilyet, our Ambassador and chief diplomat,” Cassandra continued, ignoring Cullen’s obvious discomfort and Leilana’s giggling.

“I’ve heard much, it’s a pleasure to meet you at last,” the dark-haired ambassador said, voice heavily Antivan.

“and of course, you know Sister Leilana,” Cassandra continued, looking to the giggling redhead who shifted to all business once she felt the weight of the Seeker’s gaze.

Clearing the laugh from her voice she said, “my position here involves a degree of…”

“She is our spymaster,” Cassandra interrupted

“yes, tactfully put Cassandra,” annoyance clear in Leilana’s tone.

I couldn’t help but grin at the dynamic in the room and a part of me couldn’t wait to spend more time with this mysterious, giggling spymaster.

“Pleased to meet you all,” I said

Cassandra quickly moved the discussion to business, “As I mentioned, Solas believes that with more power your mark can close the breach.”

“which is why we should approach the rebel mages for help,” Leilana said.

“I disagree, the Templars could serve just as well,” this from Cullen.

“We need power Commander, enough magic poured into that mark…”

“Could destroy us all,” he interrupted, “The Templars could suppress the Breach, weaken it so…”

“pure speculation,” Leilana interrupted

Cullen’s gaze fell heavy on me, “I was a Templar,” rubbing his neck anxiously, “I know what they are capable of.” His voice was almost a whisper.

I was about to say something to stop the bickering, but Josephine beat me to it. “Unfortunately, neither group will even speak with us, the Chantry has denounced the Inquisition and you specifically,” she said nodding in my direction.

“Can’t we just ignore them,” I asked

“The Chantry still holds much weight with the people, it is their hope,” Leilana added

“There is a bigger picture here,” Josephine’s voice of reason, “some are calling you, a Mage, the Herald of Andraste, this frightens the Chantry. The remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you.”

“Just how am I the Herald of Andraste,” I asked, it makes no sense.

“people saw what you did at the temple, how you stopped the breach from growing,” Cassandra explained, “They have also heard about the women seen in the rift behind you. They believe that was Andraste.”

“Even if we tried to stop that view from spreading,” Leilana started “which we have not,” Cassandra finished

Leilana sighed with frustration, “the point is, people everywhere are talking about you.”

“Quite the title, isn’t it” Cullen added, of the group he seemed the only one who thought of how I was handling all this, “How do you feel about it?” he asked.

“Honestly, I’m not sure how to feel about it,” I said giving him a thankful smile for at least asking me.

“People are desperate for a sign of hope. For some, you’re that sign” Leilana said

“Bouncing off of her comment, Josephine added, “and for others a symbol of everything that has gone wrong.”

Inhaling deeply “what can we do then?” I asked

“there is a Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle who has asked to speak with you,” Leilana said, “she knows those involved better than I, her assistance would be invaluable in making peace with the Chantry.”

“It’s at least a place to start,” I added feeling a hint of relief.

“Mother Giselle is in the Hinterlands, near Redcliffe attending to the wounded,” Leilana said pointing to a location on the map.

“While you’re out, look for ways to spread the Inquisitions influence, we need all the help we can get,” Cullen instructed.

“The best way to extend our reach beyond this valley is for you to be out there showing the world you are not something to fear,” this from Josephine.

“In the meantime, lets look at other options, I wont leave this all to the Herald,” Cassandra said, motioning to the door and releasing me from the meeting.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48046615851/in/dateposted-public/) [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48046701012/in/dateposted-public/)


	14. An Adventure in Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling overwhelmed by the weight of responsibility, Arya takes some time to explore the small mountain village and spends quality time with a mysterious elf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Screenshots are more inline with the last chapter, in the war room.

* * *

 

The afternoon sun was waning towards evening, reflecting on the bright snow as I approached the abandoned hut. Once inside, I noticed the walls were lined with books and scrolls filled all the tables. In the kitchen nook there was an alchemy stand in one corner and an oven in the other. A small feather bed sat against one of the walls, above it was a portrait of a young women. Next to the fireplace was an armchair and a bottle of wine. I sent a bolt of fire into the logs and watched as the orange light grew into a nice fire, chasing the chill away.

Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to stay for a while, hopefully Cassandra wouldn’t be able to sniff me out here. Popping the cork of the wine I sniffed it, still good, and took a long drink, it was sweeter than I like but I enjoyed the warmth of it in my belly.

A notebook sat on the table, picking it up I learned that it belonged to Master Teigen, the alchemist who died during the explosion. Adan, Haven’s interim healer had mentioned him. I stuffed the notebook into my pack, I’ll drop it off later.

My thoughts drifted to the task in front of me, “Rebuild the Inquisition of old, restore order among the chaos,” not a hefty thing in the least bit, I scoffed out loud. How much did Cassandra, Leilana and Josephine even know about what was happening out there? The explosion was only a few days ago… do any of us really know how vast that goal is? The more I thought about it the more my stomach churned and ached.

“Think happier thoughts Arya,” I told myself and the first thing that came into my mind was how pink Cullen’s face had gotten in the war room. The memory made me giggle, through another swig of wine.

A Templar huh-after what happened with Meric, I wanted to avoid any further entanglement with a Templar… “you didn’t mind it from that stranger at the ball” I reminded myself… true but that was prior to being spat upon by the man I loved.

“Well, Arya, you can’t say you don’t have a type, toss on some heavy plate armor, a hatred for magic with a side of lyrium addiction and you have my ideal man…” wonderful I thought.

I finished off the bottle of wine and grabbed my pack, I still needed to find some iron so Harrit the blacksmith could craft my daggers and a logging stand for that vial quartermaster Thren.

Throwing a burst of ice into the fire, it died quickly, and I stepped out into the evening air. At this point the sun was low on the horizon. I could hear the clash of blades from the Haven training grounds and headed toward it. Iron was everywhere and I didn’t need much so that was an easy find.

The logging stand was a bit more of a challenge, I had to venture into the forest a little. Moving aside a hanging pine branch I caught the glimpse of an arrow taking down one of the rams. I wasn’t alone out here. Not wanting to get shot, I called out “Hello, who’s out there?” I heard nothing but silence and jumped when the familiar voice of Solas came from behind me,

“The chosen of Andraste, a blessed hero sent to save us all” he said

“Should I ride in on a shining steed?” I asked

“I would have suggested a Griffon, but sadly they are extinct,” a smug smile crossed his face. “I’ve journeyed deep into the fade in ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I’ve watched as hosts of spirits clashed to reenact the bloody past in ancient wars, both famous and forgotten.  Every great war has it’s hero’s, I’m just curious what kind you will be?” he asked.

I didn’t have an answer, so I decided to ask him something instead. “Will you tell me more about you experiences in the fade?” I wanted to confirm my suspicion but didn’t want to ask outright.

Solas talked about sleeping in ancient ruins and on old battlefields. He spoke of how he could see the memories of what happened there. He told me of sleeping at Ostegar and seeing the Hero of Ferelden and Warden Alistair light the beacon, just as Logain called the retreat. His tales were fascinating, and I was quickly entranced by all he had seen and experienced.

“That sounds amazing,” I told him, which seemed to catch him off guard, “Didn’t the Circle teach you that all nontraditional forms of magic were evil and to avoid them?” he asked.

In that moment, I wanted to spill my guts about not being trained in the Circle, it’d been so long since I could share the true depth of my ability with anyone. At the Circle, if they caught hint of my necromancy, I would have been deemed a blood mage and made tranquil. If they saw me focus elemental forces through daggers rather than a staff, I would have been branded the same. Curbing my desire, I stood to wonder back to the village, it was getting late and my stomach grumbled out of hunger. “There is more to me then being a Circle mage,” I replied. He stood as well, and his facade of pride faltered for just a moment. “I am sorry, Herald, I didn’t mean to come off as crude. It is a rare thing that I find another who sees my ways as valuable in any way.”

“Call me Arya, I don’t want to be some icon of a religion that has done nothing but oppress me,” I spat, tone bitter.

He raised his brows at my confession but didn’t comment on it. “stay and share this meal with me?” he asked motioning to the ram at our feet, “I can hear your stomach and I know you haven’t eaten for several days.”

“I would like that,” I said

“Wonderful, prepare the fire and I will tend to the animal.”

Wood was littering the ground which made it easy to have an armful in no time. I formed the snow into a deep bowl and placed the sticks within it. Solas was leaning over the ram, saying something in elven that sounded like a blessing or an acknowledgement. Then he ran his fingers along the creature, removing pelt, bones and organs with magic. I couldn’t help but be impressed, “that’s useful, perhaps you can show me sometime.”

“I’d be delighted” he said bringing over the prepared meat just as I called a flame, catching the wood and starting a roaring fire. We sat in silence, watching the ram roast of the open flame, it smelled wonderful and I was thankful for stumbling upon him in the forest.

The silence stretched but wasn’t uncomfortable in the least bit. Solas was laying on his cloak, resting his head on a small pack. I was sitting on my cloak, resting against the trunk of a tree. I wondered if he was sleeping and almost reached towards him with my mana. He would have felt it and could have been offended. In Tevinter, “tasting” another was almost as casual a greeting as a handshake. But here, in the South, people find it intrusive.

“Solas, tell me about yourself?” I asked. “Why” he replied.

Taken aback a little I tried to make up a reason more sensible than, I’m curious. “I respect you and I’d like to know a little more about you is all,” not great but something. “right, of course, I apologize, I am not accustomed to all the ins and outs of human interactions,” he said. I felt like he was talking down to me a little, like when we first met but pushed it away. “What would you like to know,” he asked

“Where are you from” an easy first question

“I was born in a small village north of here but there was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic, so I took off in search of knew places to dream.”

“Have you always traveled alone?”

“I am never alone, I am always surrounded by spirits of joy, compassion, friendship, wisdom, these spirits have become my friends and companions over the years.”

“You can make friends with spirits?”

“Yes, just as you and I could be friends, within the fade there are spirits who talk and think just as we do, it is not so very different.”

“Do they not try to possess you?” I asked

“No, not all spirits have a desire to enter our world, most are content to exist just as they are. For those who do, I have learned to protect myself, thus the more aggressive spirits keep their distance.”

“That’s fascinating,” I said really intrigued by his perspective, “Could I become friends with spirits?”

“With a little guidance you could, perhaps I will introduce you to a few of my friends one of these nights,” he said, a genuine smile crossing his features.

That’s it, there is the confirmation I needed, offering to introduce me was him admitting that he can shape the dreams of others. Now should I ask the direct question or go about it more indirectly. I felt like he would appreciate me being direct.

“I would like that Solas, I have always been intrigued by the abilities of Somniari.”

He froze then, mouth open, he didn’t expect me to put that together. “I believe the ram is ready,” he said reaching toward the steaming meat and cooling it with a gentle Winter’s Grasp. Reaching in his pack he pulled out two plates and some utensils. He split the meal in half and handed me a plate. My hunger taking charge, distracted me from his obvious subject change. The ram was so tender and juicy it melted in my mouth releasing little sprits of flavor with each bite. Satisfied and full I leant back against the tree and fell asleep.

**A trip with Solas____________________________________________**

I felt his presence before I saw him, an outline of his body against the darkness of my sleeping mind. “Can I enter?” he asked. I appreciated him asking for consent instead of just barging in. “Yes, Solas” I answered. His outline materialized and, in a moment, we were standing next to each other outside of Haven. It didn’t look like the fade here, it looked just like the waking world.

“I want to show you something,” he said offering his hand to me. I took it and it felt warm and solid. “Are we dreaming, it feels real?” I asked.

“Real is relative,” he said guiding me toward the gates of the village. “Look,” nodding toward the huge gate of Haven.  

But this gate was different then the one there now. I heard the familiar sound of chain lightening and the steel-on-steel clash of blades. I took a step toward the gate just as they burst open, revealing a large number of gnarled creatures, they looked almost like corpses, but they didn’t move like them.

“Darkspawn,” I heard Solas say behind me. An arrow came from behind, then another and another, taking out one of the blighted creatures with each hit. I felt the charge of electricity in the air as bolts of lightening shot from the sky, jumping from one to the other bringing them to their knees. Taking advantage of their stunned state, two men one elven with daggers and the second human with a sword finished them off.

“I think we work well together,” the human said, high fiving the other over the mangled bodies of darkspawn. “You two wouldn’t have had a chance if Solona hadn’t shocked the piss out of them first,” a familiar Orlesian accent floated from the entrance. I couldn’t see her face, but I know the voice belonged to our redheaded spymaster.

I glanced at Solas, recognition dawning, “Shh, just watch,” he said.

Two women stepped into view, fingers entwined like best friends. Leilana, looked the same as she does now, other than her hair being shorter and her armor much more revealing. Once my eyes fell on the second women, I had to rub them in disbelief, the second women looked like me, almost exactly like me, she had chestnut hair that was braided into a long side braid, and blue eyes that almost seemed too bright against the paleness of her skin. Outside of the skin tone, the only difference was in the face, her features were slightly more angular than mine.

“Of course, you’d say that, you ladies just can’t admit to the full extent of my manliness,” the human man said.

“I don’t know Alistair,” an Antivan accent belonging to the elven man purred “if anything can be said about the extent of your manliness, I think we all heard it last night coming from Solona’s tent.”

The girls cracked into a flurry of giggles and the man, Alistair, blushed, “Solona, you didn’t ward against sound?” he asked.

“Hmmm I guess it slipped my mind, your manliness is just so distracting” she feigned innocence and Leilana went straight into another giggle fit.

Alistair rushed to Solona, lifting her into the air spinning her. Solona’s laugh echoed off the mountain tops and seemed to fill the area with joy. “I’ll show you distraction,” he said lowering her and claiming her lips in a fiery embrace.

Leilana, watched them doe eyed and awe struck, “all you have to do is ask and I will gladly oblige,” the elven man said to her. She playfully shoved him away, “Zevran, it’s never going to happen,” she said. “Ah but you see my redheaded temptress, I know it will.”

Zevran, wait I know him, my mother’s friend in Antiva. I was surprised by how many people overlapped my and Solona’s life. 

“Now, now love birds, don’t we have some dead lady’s ashes to find, so we can create a nonexistent cure for an uncurable poison or something,” Zevran said patting Alistair on the back.

“In a minute I’m proving my manliness,” he replied, voice muffled by the kiss.

“She is Andraste, Bride of the Maker, not just some random dead lady,” Leilana said.

“Ah my dear lady, you can try to hide behind that chantry sister facade, but I know the real you. I know how the feeling of your dagger digging deep or your arrow hitting its mark excites things low in your body, the song of death sings so sweetly, we are the same, you and I. You just need to embrace the pleasure, I will happily help you along my dear.” Zevran said rolling his tongue in a way that made my insides tighten.

I expected a spirited come back but Leilana fell silent, eyes distant.

“What are you all just sitting around for,” Solona teased, “We’ve got darkspawn and cultists to kill, an old man to track down, so much to do,” she counted the list off on her fingers, as they fell into step next to her and headed back into the village.

I took a step, wanting to follow but the image shimmered before fading away, being replaced by white tents and a group of soldiers sparring one another close enough to cause me to backstep before I got hit. The pair of soldiers nearest me sheathed weapons and stepped away, leaving a clear path to broad shoulders bare to the mountain air. Blond curls free of their careful style framed golden eyes and flushed skin. It was Cullen, sparring with one of the scouts. I stood entranced by the way his toned body moved.

My memories flashed back to the Circle, Lila and I hiding behind the lilac bushes as we watched the Templar’s train in the garden. We would giggle and swoon over them. They were forbidden, and that made them all the more appealing. My envisioning it moved us to the Ostwick Circle, Lila’s blond hair and light green eyes met mine, “that one,” she said pointing out the red-haired recruit that caught her fancy.

“His name is Austin and he tastes like Antivan brandy,” she said with a sigh. I smiled at the memory, from so long ago. This was when I first got to the Circle. Lila had a secret affair with a brand new Templar. They were adorable and very much in love, but I was a little resentful of it.

My other self looked at her friend, sadness in her eyes. “Why are you sad?” Solas’ voice asked from behind me. Taking myself back to that moment I remembered Dorian’s green eyes and flirtatious smile watching me from across the Pavus estate library. Alma was talking about the Magrallen, but I wasn’t listening, Dorian and I just stared at each other, he liked this game though. Holding my gaze with lustful eyes, smirking from the corner, building the anticipation until it felt like I’d be crushed under the weight of it. Then he’d ask Alma to release me and we’d disappear to some private place and let the desire consume us.

“where are you?” Solas asked, confused by what he saw.

“Arya,” Alma’s voice, she used the common tongue, but it was heavily accented in Tevene, “Are you listening, this is very important.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” I apologized, swishing my hand as if pushing Dorian away. His rich chuckle filled the room and my tummy did flip-flops.

I pulled away form that memory back to me and Lila at the Circle, “I was missing home,” I answered Solas’ original question. The other me pulled herself out of her self-pity, it wasn’t Lila’s fault. “Come Lila, lets go say hi,” I smiled at my friend and she hugged me, “I really like him, Arya.”

“That’s enough” Solas said from my side, “we must go back.”

With that, my sleeping mind fell into darkness.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48095800128/in/dateposted-public/)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48095855852/in/dateposted-public/)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48095856122/in/dateposted-public/)

 

 


	15. Faith?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of dreaming it's time for Arya to prepare for a trip to the Hinterlands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, important characterization so I wanted to keep it separate.

* * *

 

“Makers tits, Arya, everyone has been looking for you,” a mans voice said pulling me from my slumber. My eyes fluttered open to Cullen’s face, eyes full of concern. He was so close, I reached out and touched him, rough stubble under my palm. “I was sleeping… Solas,” my thoughts weren’t quite coherent yet.

His hand rested over mine on his cheek, “You were sleeping with Solas?” he questioned, disappointment flickered through his eyes briefly. Finally awakening, I jumped up “What? No, well not like that.” I clarified. He chuckled, and I saw tension leave the set of his jaw.

“Cassandra is ready to head to the Hinterlands and Leilana wishes to see you,” he said. “How is it that you didn’t freeze out here?” he asked. “fire runes” I answered as if it was obvious, “What?” he questioned Moving the cloak aside I exposed the strategically placed runes. “I place them and set them to warm, it doesn’t take much mana and once they are placed, they release a constant level of heat.” I explained. “that’s convenient” he said with a smirk. Extending his hand, I gladly took it and allowed him to pull me to my feet. “I’m uh, I’m glad you are okay,” he stuttered. Smiling I said the same, “me too, about you... I’m glad you are okay.” He blushed and busied himself putting snow over the fire and grabbing my pack, “Um, do you think, I mean, would it be inappropriate to, uh take you up on that offer for an evening stroll still?” he was so red, “Maker’s breath,” he said, “I’m sorry.” Placing a comforting hand on his arm I caught his avoiding eyes,

“I’d like that,” I said

“me too” he added,

“you said that,” I replied, I had to give him a little trouble

He just smiled and headed toward Haven, I followed, stopping briefly to mark the logging stand on my map for Thren.

Once at the gates Cullen excused himself to tend to the troops. I made my rounds, giving the alchemist’s notes to Adan, iron and the logging stand location to Thren and the materials Harritt needed in order to craft my daggers.

Leilana’s tent was next to the quartermasters, Cullen said she wanted to speak to me. As I approached, she was kneeling, praying. “blessed are the peacekeepers, champions of the just, blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood the Maker’s will is written. Is that what you want from us? Blood? To die so that your will is done? Is death your only blessing?”

Angry eyes looked at me, “you speak for Andraste, no? what does the Maker’s prophet have to say about all this? What’s His game?” she asked, eyes haunted.

“How is this a game?” I asked

“Do you see the sky? What about he Temple ruins? The bones lying in the dust? Even if you don’t support the Divine, you wouldn’t call this right, who could? So many innocent lives, the faithful, murdered where the Holiest of Holies once stood. If the Maker willed this, what is it, if not a game or a cruel joke?” she despaired.

“I cannot speak for Andraste, I speak for nobody but myself, and I have no answers for you.” I said, I wanted to be supportive but didn’t have what she sought.

“The Chantry teaches that the Maker abandoned us. He demands repentance for our sins. He demands it all, our lives or deaths. Justinia gave Him everything she had, and He let her die!”

“Shouldn’t the blame fall on the one who murdered her?” I asked

“If the Maker doesn’t intervene to save the best of His servants, what good is He,” she continued. “I used to think I was chosen, like you, chosen to work with the Divine, to help people, but now she’s dead and it was all for nothing, serving the Maker meant nothing.”

“Maybe you have another purpose, I could help you find it,” I offered unsure of what else to do.

She smiled, eyes far away, “I had a friend once, she found me when I was at a low point, and she offered me the same thing, an opportunity to find a purpose.”

Stepping to me she placed a hand against my cheek, “I am sorry that you had to see me like this, but I am thankful you did,” her smile warmed, “Now I had a message for you didn’t I,” she mused out loud.

“I sent scouts out searching for the Wardens and they have come back empty handed. It seems the Wardens have all gone missing. I am not saying it has something to do with the explosion, but the timing is curious. I have heard word that a lone Warden, by the name of Blackwall, has been seen in the Hinterlands. While you are there, will you seek him out?”

“Weren’t there Wardens at the conclave?” I asked, “I saw people wearing their armor.”

“The Wardens are still thought of very highly, especially in Ferelden, they may have been donning the armor for the masquerade, it symbolizes strength of character and valor,” she explained.

Seeing an opportunity to ask about her traveling with Solona I asked, “can you tell me about them?”

“About the Wardens or about the Hero of Ferelden?” she asked, catching me off guard. “It is not unknown that I traveled with her. I fought beside her against the archdemon and acted as her support through all the trials and tribulations of that time. Solona and Alistair were both new to the Wardens and neither knew much about the organization really. The man who recruited them, Duncan, had shared some history but they had no idea what it meant to be a Warden. Alistair loved the idea of being a hero and having a purpose above himself. But for Solona, the cost was large and the weight heavy, she was conscripted, meaning forced to join against her will, whereas Alistair begged for it.”

“why was she forced?” I asked

“Well you know she came from Kinloch Hold right?” she questioned, and I nodded, “you are related, so I’m sure you’ve heard that she was taken at a young age from her parents,” she was trying to get a feel for my knowledge.

“Yes,” I said, “despite aunt Revka’s attempt to outmaneuver the Templars.”

“Right!” she sounded excited now at the chance to share a story.

“Solona, knew nothing outside of the Circle and despite being curious of the outside world (as all mage’s are) she was content. She had lifelong friends, teachers who cared for her, the ability to use her magic safely and unlimited access to books (Solona loved to read). In addition to all those things, she was in love and…” her eyes darted behind us and her voice lowered “he was in love with her.” Turning to see what caught her gaze, I saw Cullen pass, heading to the Chantry. So he is the same Cullen, disappointment started to build inside me. Leilana knew I put it together, so she continued, “Cullen was stationed at Kinloch Hold shortly after he completed his Vigil. According to Solona, he would watch her, lurking in the shadows, she thought it was creepy at first. Then one day she was trying to grab a book from the top shelf and managed to pull the shelf down in the process. Cullen grabbed her, rolling her to safety before she was crushed. That was the first time she actually saw him up close and from that moment on, they were inseparable.

The Knight Commander and First Enchanter tried keeping them apart, but they always managed to figure a way around it. Until….” Her voice changed to a darker tone. “One of Solona’s friends, Jowan, was going to be made tranquil. He found out through a Chantry initiate whom he was sleeping with. The couple approached Solona for help, they had a plan to destroy his phylactery and escape the Circle. Another mage, Anders had done it like 7 times, and they were sure with her help, they could pull it off.

Solona wanted to help her friend but she also didn’t want to risk herself getting caught. She went to First Enchanter Irving for help, she trusted him and thought he could help them come up with a different solution, “why not just prove Jowan isn’t a blood mage?” But her trust was misplaced, and Irving instructed her to go along with their plan, setting them up to get caught in the act. Solona refused, “I will not betray my friend.” But Irving was a cruel man, “you will obey, or I will have Cullen sent to Aeonar for fornicating with one of his charges.” Irving used her relationship with Cullen to blackmail her into obedience and so, to protect her love, she did as she was instructed, leading Jowan and the Sister into a trap.

Once the trio emerged from the phylactery chamber, they were met by Irving, Knight Commander Greagoir and Duncan the Warden who was looking for recruits to join the war at Ostegar. Afraid, Jowan slit his wrist and called on the power in his blood to incapacitate them, allowing for his escape. The Chantry sister, Lily, was condemned to Aeonar. Solona spoke up saying she was only following instructions and Irving confirmed this to be true, however Greagoir was sure she had been tempted by the blood mage and wanted her punished. Duncan stepped in at that moment, invoking the Rite of Conscription. Solona begged Irving to not make her go, this was her home, but he wouldn’t, “you are meant to do great things, this place will only crush you,” he told her. And that was it, that’s how she was recruited into the Warden’s. She told me how Cullen was part of the entourage that escorted her to the tower exit, the last thing she saw was him whispering “I love you” as she left.

“That’s horrible,” I said, taken aback by the similarities in our stories. “I must get going before Cassandra drags me out of here, can we talk some more at another time?”

“Of course,” Leilana said with a smile “Back to work than.”

Stepping from Leilana’s tent I found myself filled with awe. The Divine’s left hand, questioning her faith. But at the same time, her history of espionage and storytelling. I couldn’t wait to spend more time getting tp know the full depth of her. Then Cullen, he really is the same one from Solona’s story. What does that mean? I wouldn’t have thought of it but now that I know, I wonder... his awkward flirtations, are they because I look so much like her? He probably hasn’t seen her since she liberated Kinloch Hold from the abominations. Could it be that I am a surrogate for Solona?

Cassandra strode from the Chantry almost slamming into me in her haste. “Herald, there you are, we have been looking for you. In the future if you wish to disappear you must come tell me,” she chastised.

“Cassandra, usually when someone disappears, it is because they don’t want to be found. Telling you would kind of defeat the purpose….” I defended

She just looked at me eyes puzzled, as if the very thought was foreign to her.  She gave a small snort but her eyes warmed. “Well if you could tell someone, whomever you’d be more comfortable with, that’d be appreciated. You needent tell where you will be, just that you will be taking some time to think. I do understand, we have put a lot on your shoulders and I want you to feel supported,” she placed a gloved hand on my arm, “Now we need to get to the Hinterlands, reports are troublesome.”

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48114355887/in/dateposted-public/)


	16. The Hinterlands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hinterlands bring about some surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I had all the Hinterlands stuff in one, not very detailed chapter. but when I went to post it, I realized I needed to redo it, so that's what I've been working on. Here is the first part.

* * *

 

Once we dropped down into the valley the weather was much more bearable. The snow had given way to warm sunshine and the colors of Autumn.

“Wow, I’ve heard so much about you!” Inquisition Scout Harding said, welcoming us to the area. “Mother Giselle is at the Crossroads helping the refugees who are fleeing the Mage-Templar fighting. If you are truly meant to save the world, this is as good a place to start as any.” 

“Have you ever been to Kirkwall’s Hightown?” Varric asked

“No, I can’t say that I have,” replied the young dwarf, “why?”

“Cause you’d be Harding in High… never mind.” He cut himself short when he saw she had no clue what he was talking about.

“I grew up here,” she explained “and now the fighting has destroyed it.” her voice was solemn.

“Leliana wanted us to connect with Housemaster Dennet to acquire mounts for the soldiers but we haven’t been able to make contact, for all we know he’s already dead. Good luck Herald, you’re going to need it.”

“Thank you for the report, Scout Harding” I said with a nod.

I glanced at Cassandra, I didn’t even know where to start, but she was busy filling her potions belt. Solas was gazing off in the distance, probably at some ruin, the area was littered with them. And Varric, well he was looking at me, with a curious grin. “How you holding up?” he asked, “you went from being Thedas’ most wanted to leading the armies of the faithful, most people would have spread that out over more than a couple days.”

“I have no idea what is going on,” I said, releasing a sigh, it felt better to at least say it out loud.

“I’d suggest running at the first chance you get, I’ve written enough tragedies to know how this will end,” he said patting my arm.

“If it’s so horrible, why have you stayed?” I asked him

“As much as I wish I was as self-absorbed as people think… a hole in the sky, well that calls for a miracle and I want to be here to make sure it happens.”

“The Crossroads are not far, I’d suggest we start there,” Cassandra said and for once, I was thankful for her bossiness.

* * *

 

The path to the Crossroads was littered with corpses, Templar, Mage, civilian, the closer we got the more bodies piled up and the louder the sounds of fighting got.

We came across a group of inquisition soldiers and assisted them against the Templar's. “Stop we are not apostates” Cassandra tried to reason with them, but they weren’t listening or didn’t care.

Shortly after that we were attacked by a group of Mage’s, once again Cassandra tried reason, but it failed. After that, we went on the offensive. As soon as they came into view, I used chain lightening to stun and Solas followed up with a wall of ice, which moved across the battlefield like a wave on the ocean. Whomever was left, if there were any, fell to Cassandra’s claymore or Bianca.

We cleared the crossroads of hostiles and were greeted by clapping and cheering from the refugees. It felt like we were on the right side but inside me, I was still unsure. If we go into attack mode straight away, are we really any different than those we are fighting? As we made our way through the small village to the infirmary, the people called, “All hail the Herald of Andraste!” and “Thank you Inquisition, you have saved us!” Despite my musing, I can’t deny it felt good to be appreciated.

“Let these mages heal your wounds,” Mother Giselle spoke softly to a wounded soldier as we approached.

“Mother, their magic is evil,” the soldier’s voice shook with fear.

“When turned to noble purpose, magic is surely no different than your blade, now rest,” she said

Seeing us approach she arose, “You are the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste?” she asked

“I am, what you said to that soldier… you aren’t against magic?” my curiosity sparked.

“Magic is to serve men, not rule over them… the Chantry will have us believe that magic is a curse from the Maker, but I do not agree. Magic is a tool, like any other and can be wielded for good or evil. Evil, if it exists, is not within the tool but within the one wielding it.”

“Is that not a risky opinion for a revered mother to hold?” I asked.

“The opinions are mine to hold as I wish, it is the company I keep that dictates my ability to share them outwardly. Now Sister Leliana has asked for the names of those in the Chantry who would be amenable to a meeting. They have only heard frightful tales of you, go to them and show them you are more.”

“You want me to appeal to them?” I asked

“Yes, you do not need to persuade them to your cause, just cause some to doubt, their power is in their unified voice, take that from them and they lose that power.”

“Thank you, Mother Giselle,” I said

“I will go to Haven and relay the names to Sister Leliana, please do what you can to help these people. They will flock to your rallying call as they will to none other, this gives you the power to deliver us or destroy us, use it wisely,” the wisdom in her words struck home, and for the first time since this all started, I felt hope.

“Corporal Vale is in charge of the Inquisition forces stationed here, perhaps he can tell us how we can best be of assistance,” Cassandra once again giving us direction, thankfully.

We bade the Mother goodbye, sending her with a small entourage of soldiers and a bag of supplies to Haven. The journey would take them about half a day, arriving late into the evening. I called forth a raven and sent a message to Leliana, relaying that Mother Giselle is on her way and should arrive by late evening. 

Cassandra lead us up the small hill to the Inquisition camp where Corporal Vale stood, manning the troops and supplies.

According to the Corporal, people needed food and something to protect from the cold. We also needed to track down this Horsemaster Dennet to acquire better mounts. And there was the Mage-Templar infighting that needed to be stopped. Not to mention, all the rifts, bandits and the Warden Blackwall. It seemed the Hinterlands had quite the list of needs, it’d take us some time to accomplish them all.

Settling into our first night, we took up residence in the Outskirts Camp, with Scout Harding and her team. The young dwarf took on the cooking role and made a tasty root vegetable stew that was thick and warm in the chill evening air.

Cassandra and I mulled over a map of the Hinterlands, deciding we needed to set up base camps in all the major areas, to ensure a steady Inquisition presence. There was a total of six camp locations we noted on the map. Additionally, we needed to get to Horsemaster Dennet’s farm and Warden Blackwell, who according to Harding, was last seen by the lake. Harding’s scouts had intercepted some communications which gave us a location for the main Templar encampment and the Mage stronghold, as well as, the bandit’s camp. Without Cullen’s experience, it took us a while to come up with a viable strategy, but we did, or we thought we did. The decision was to start with the mage-templar fighting by taking out their strongholds. Then move to finding the supplies on Recruit Whittle’s extensive list.

The camp started to settle in for the night. My mind was moving so fast I couldn’t sleep, so instead nestled down by the fire, allowing its warmth and energy to fill me. Entranced by the dancing flames I didn’t hear Solas return from wherever he went, until he spoke, “The ancient elves had artifacts, which they used to measure the Veil. I believe one is nearby, if we can activate it, we may be able to strengthen the walls in the area.”

“Can you mark where you think it is on the map?” I asked, motioning towards the rolled-up parchment.

He shook his head, “I will know it when we are close, but I cannot tell you where exactly it is located. Come let me help you sleep.” he said, pulling my head into his lap. He rubbed my temples and began to hum a tune, so quiet I could barely hear it over the crackling fire.

* * *

It was dawn when the scouts started milling about the campsite. One of them boiled some water for kaffe,’ it's rich aroma filling the air. I was no longer laying on Solas’ lap, instead he had slid next to me, our bodies spooning one another. I’m sure the rumors of the Herald and the elven apostate as lovers would be fully embedded by the time we returned to Haven, but honestly, I appreciated the extra body heat, the temperature had dipped during the night. I tried to think back to what happened after he and I spoke, but my consciousness stopped at the vibrations of his humming under my head.

“Sleep well?” he asked voice still heavy with sleep

“Yes, thank you, what did you do?”

“Held the dreams at bay and helped calm your mind with a little magic. It didn't take much, you have been over exerting yourself,” he chuckled then grabbed us both a mug of the steamy brew.

Cassandra emerged shortly after that, pulling some type of dried meat from her pack, “lets get going,” she said, armor and sword strapped into place.

The look of utter disgust and annoyance Solas gave her was priceless, and I laughed so hard kaffe’ spewed from my nose, which caused the scouts and Solas to laugh.

“Ugh, you all are impossible,” she said, before plopping down next to us and grabbing herself a mug.

After about 15 minutes, we heard rustling form the forest behind us, jumping to the ready we were pleasantly surprised to see Varric toddling in, “You all just waking up?” he asked, glancing at Solas and I, “I understand you two but Seeker, I thought better of you.”

“Just what are you suggesting, Varric?” Cassandra jumped to the defense

“These two where snuggled up awfully close this morning, you know what they say about fornicating on the job,” he said with a wink

“Fornicating… The Herald and… and Solas?” Cassandra looked devastated as she searched desperately for a counter from the scouts, who all just shrugged.

Her eyes fell on Solas, “Solas, I am disappointed that you would use your age to…” she began

“Now, now Cassandra, whom Arya is intimate with is really not your concern, or yours,” he said throwing an angry look at Varric, who just laughed.

“I know you two weren’t doing the deed, I just wanted to see Cassandra here get all uptight, and it worked, my goal has been met for the day.”

“Ugh” Cassandra grunted, getting to her feet, “we should head out, we have a lot to accomplish.” 

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48165699441/in/dateposted-public/)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48165776067/in/dateposted-public/)

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48165777102/in/dateposted-public/)


	17. Templar's and Mage's Oh My!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya and the team clear out the Hinterlands

The Templar’s chose a well defensible location for their encampment, it was nestled between the base of a mountain and a cliff leading to the river, with only one way in and one way out.

We approached quickly, catching them off guard. Cassandra and Varric stormed through the main gate, bolts flying and blade slashing out at anything that moved. Their blatant display of force gave Solas and I the opportunity to fade step directly to the back of the encampment. The Templars were so focused on the gate they didn’t notice us until it was too late, with a flash of electricity and ice, they were gone.

“I surmise that it has been awhile since these Templars encountered a mage of any skill,” Solas said wiping his staff blade on his worn cotton tunic.

“More like never,” Varric added, patting Bianca lovingly before strapping her to his back.

“Let’s see what they have for supplies,” Cassandra added Looking around I was overcome with familiarity; this was set up just like the encampment I was held in. Nausea overcame me and I ran to the cliff edge, purging my breakfast.

“You alright kid?” Varric’s voice came from behind me. Not feeling particularly open at the moment, I just gave a slight nod, “I’ll be okay, I think there is something down there,” I added pointing to the brightly colored chest, partially emerged in the river below. It looked like someone had pushed it over the edge, hastily trying to hide it.

Varric glanced down, “Yeah and it looks like we can get to it,” then he slid careful down the embankment to the chest. He skillfully picked the lock, grabbed a few parchments and stuffed them in his pack. “Looks like something Nightingale will want,” he called up, “there’re also some decent weapons and a lot of sovereigns.”

After clearing out the encampment we made our way back to the Crossroads, to unload and eat some lunch. Recruit Whittle made some type of rice and ram casserole. It was decent, but not as good as Scout Harding’s vegetable stew. Nonetheless, we were thankful for the nourishment and chance to rest up before taking on the mages in Witchwood.

* * *

 

It was late afternoon when we made it through to Witchwood. The mages were using glyphs to guide travelers to their stronghold. It was an eerie place, columns of ice jutted from the ground, intentionally placed, like spines on the back of some reptile.

Fire and ice runes were strategically hidden beneath the earth, just one faulty move and you’re injured or worse, ash. Huge boulders were littering the area, acting as the perfect little hiding spots for an ambush. We came around one and were startled as a fennec fox mistepped and combusted right in front of us. Solas decided to start casting dispel as we walked, it would at least highlight, if not eliminate, any hidden runes. This place was a minefield and it need to be cleaned up, immediately.

The glowing blue barrier shone brightly against the dark forest, “looks like a protection barrier,” Solas said, “My guess, our Mages are hiding on the other side.” In front of the barrier was a pond of sorts, frozen over by ice magic. Our troop moved across it, singularly focused on the barrier, which left us open to the three mages hiding just on the other side of a huge spike of ice.

I heard the whoosh of the fireball a second before it exploded at my feet. Fire erupted all around me, I rolled trying to avoid the most concentrated area, but I didn’t role fast enough. My cotton leggings caught, searing the flesh underneath.

I heard Cassandra’s scream of rage, followed by the clash of her sword against a shield. “The Herald’s down,” Varric yelled but I could barely hear him over the roaring flames, which were closing in on me, surrounding me. Frantically I was patting my legs, trying to stop the fire from spreading. I had never been one for ice magic, “It’s best to know some spells, even if they’re small, in all the elemental areas,” Magister Alma’s words were echoing in my head as I tried to cast ice to put out the flames, but the spell only sputtered in my fingers, I was too distracted. I was chocking as the smoke got thicker and thicker, the heat was unbearable, and my leather tunic was beginning to catch. I was a goner, “why didn’t I listen to Alma,” was my last thought before the world faded.

**Solas POV------------------------------**

“The Herald’s down,” I heard the dwarf call, but he was being pinned down by a Mage wielding a sword and shield. A fireball had exploded right at her feet and she was surrounded by flames on all sides, trapped in the middle as the they moved ever closer. I tried to cast a barrier around her but my mana was drained from dispelling all the runes and I couldn't quite reach her with it, I needed to be closer.

Cassandra was toe-to-toe with a storm mage, using her shield to deflect wave after wave of lightening bolts. Tossing a few frost spells at Varric’s opponent, I made my way to the wall of fire that was holding Arya. Without her daggers we were off balance tactically, Cassandra being the only one prepared for close combat.

“Solas, I can’t get him back,” Varric called, pulling my attention. I casted, covering the mage in a sheet of ice, which froze him in place. It wouldn’t last long though, as the mage was calling his own fire to melt it away. Thankfully Varric was a fast thinker, the dwarf rolled, to a flanking position and shot one bolt directly into his back. When the mage thawed a moment later, he crumpled to the ground paralyzed, where Varric ended him with a slice across the throat.

I pointed to where Cassandra was holding her ground but struggling, and he nodded, aiming Bianca at the storm mage. Running to the still burning fire, I fade stepped through the flames grabbed Arya’s prone form and fade stepped back out. Her skin was covered in soot and she was barely breathing. Looting a lyrium and healing potion from one of the corpses nearby, I went to work healing our fallen hero.

**Arya's POV________________________**

The first thing I felt was the coolness of Elfroot, sliding down my throat, healing the burns as it went. I felt Solas’ hands on my legs and arms, mending the charred flesh. Cool water on a soft piece of cotton cleared my face of soot, when I opened my eyes, I saw the relieved faces of my friends.

“Thank Andraste you are okay,” Cassandra said through a sigh of relief.

“Kid, you can’t go and die already, we haven’t even gotten to the good part of the story yet,” Varric chided, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“How do you feel?” Solas questioned his voice was even but his eyes were full of concern.

I tried answering him but my voice wouldn’t come, placing my hand on my throat I patted. “does it hurt?” he asked.

I shook my head no.

“It will heal, give it time,” he said placing his palm over my throat and sending small tendrils of delicate healing magic into it.

“Let’s go get these bastards,” Varric said pointing at the barrier, which stared back at us as if taunting.

I nodded in agreement and got to my feet, other than my voice, I felt wonderful. Looking at my team, they all seemed ready to go, so I motioned to move out.

Approaching the blue barrier, I called a ball of electricity and sent it through the middle, shattering the barrier into a thousand tiny pieces. As soon as it was dissipated, the attacks came.

We didn’t hold a strong position, standing at the entrance to a huge cave full of mages but we managed. Splitting up we all took off in different directions, which seized their firing because they didn’t want to risk friendly fire.

I had fade stepped and populated behind a group of three fire mages. Casting chain lightening they all froze in place as the electricity ran through them. Then pulling out my daggers I jumped, using twin fangs I sliced down their backs.

Varric had perched himself atop a ledge, I could hear the now familiar thunk, thunk, as Bianca unloaded bolt after bolt.

Solas was standing in the center of the cave, back-to back with Cassandra, they circled Solas freezing then Cassandra slashing, it was rather remarkable, like a well practiced dance.

Stillness fell over the cave, I held my breath waiting for another spell to come my way but only silence graced me.

By the time we exited, the sun had set. Witchwood was even more creepy in the dark. I don’t know why, perhaps the utter stillness of it. Normally you’d hear birds or nugs or something, not tonight, the quiet was heavy in the air, causing goosebumps to rise along my bare arms.

“This place is off,” Solas stated, “Perhaps all the magic has weakened the Veil, we should leave.” Cassandra and Varric looked to me, the light from the torches we carried casting long shadows across their faces.

“I agree,” I said with a nod pulling out the map of camp locations. “The closest one is Dusklight, it’s that way,” I confirmed spinning to the East. Everyone nodded and headed out, grabbing some Elfroot potions and downing them, just in case we came across more trouble.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48165779632/in/dateposted-public/)


	18. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fighting some demons, saving some refugees and meeting a Warden with a secret, it's all in a days work.

* * *

 

A narrow path led us out of Witchwood. Once we exited the expected sounds returned, crickets chirped and nugs scurried about. The wind carried the smell of food and laughter upon it.

“Someone else is camped out here,” Cassandra stated.

We climbed a small incline and Solas yelled out, “Bandits ahead!”

They came at us fast, our torches acting like beacons in the dark. I tossed mine and cast a wall of fire, which lit up the entire area, evening the odds. As the wall moved across us it caught two in its grip, they screamed in pain and the others, realizing they were outnumbered, took off down a warn path.

“They’re retreating, let’s go after them,” Varric called, strapping Bianca to his back and disappearing down the path. We all followed, not sure what we were getting into but determined to do it together.

The bandits led us into a ravine of sorts, where they were camped for the night. Perhaps they thought we couldn't follow or maybe they felt their numbers would overrun us, either way they were wrong, they were dead in a matter of minutes and thanks to them we had an already set up camp to claim as our own!

Some type of soup brewed over the fire. Tents were set up and a barrel of brew was waiting for someone to drink it. We treated ourselves to the bandit’s leftovers and snooped through their supplies. It seems they have a base in a forest estate in Hafters Wood. They kept talking about some kind of a shipment, but nothing specifically said what they were smuggling through the Hinterlands.

After enjoying the soup and ale, we all sat around listening to Varric tell a tale about him, Alistair and Isabella, some sultry pirate queen, rescuing King Maric Theirin from the Magrallen and an evil, power crazed Tevinter Magister. The version he told was quite different than the one I heard from Halward and Alma. I wonder which was more true? My belly was full and warm from ale when I snuggled down into my bedroll. Solas was already dreaming at the far side of the tent,  his soft snoring helping me sleep like a lullaby.

I awoke to the sounds of talking outside my tent. Cassandra and Varric were discussing the plan for the day, Dennet or the Warden? Pulling the map from my pack, I checked our current location. We would descend into Redcliff Farms if we took Gully of the Burnt Man. It was closer than Lake Luthias, which was all the way by where we first came in from Haven. Climbing from my tent I posed my idea and they seemed to agree. Varric handed me a bowl of hot cereal and a mug of kaffe.’

“Where is Solas?” I asked

“He left at dawn, said he had some hunting to do,” Varric answered.

Cassandra just looked at the dwarf astonished, “What is it Seeker?” he questioned.

“How is it you continue to wake up before me and with all the ale you had last night, The Herald and I had a mug each but you and Solas finished off the entire barrel, yet here you are, up like nothing and he is gone hunting?” she said

“Well Seeker, you know what they say about out drinking a dwarf,” he said with a laugh

“No, what do they say?” she asked

“Don’t try,” came an even tone form behind us, as Solas stepped into view.

“That’s right Chuckles,” Varric called, “And whatever you do don’t try challenging that one to a game of Wicked Grace,” he whispered and pointed toward Solas behind his hand.

Solas dropped a pack full of meat by the fire, “for the refugees,” he said reaching for the offered bowl of cereal and a mug of steaming kaffe.’

“We are going to take the Gully,” I pointed it out on the map which lay between us, “down into Redcliff Farms and see about the Horsemaster.”

Solas nodded his approval, “I would like to take this meat into the Crossroads, I also marked the supply cache locations on a map for Recruit Whittle, I will meet you at Dennet’s.”

* * *

 The afternoon sun was high when we came out of the Gully. There was a slight embankment, with a sparkling river flowing through it. After such a long trek, the water looked exceptionally refreshing. I was about to run down for a drink when my mark sputtered.

Hovering just over the stream was a huge rift, as we approached terror and despair demons spewed from its core. A terror demon melted into a black ooze, disappearing into the ground and then reappeared right under Cassandra, knocking her to the ground. I cast a fireball at the horrid creature, and it shrieked loud enough to make my head throb. Without Solas, we didn’t stand a chance, “retreat!” I yelled and booked it across the stream towards the farms, not stopping until the mark on my palm went dormmate.

Once we stopped, I fell to the ground catching my breath as I watched the fluffy, white clouds move across the blue sky.

“What is Andraste flaming knickers was that?” Varric asked, through gasps of air.

“Terror’s” I answered, not taking my eyes from the sky above me until Varric’s form filled my vision, “really, that’s all your going to give me?” he asked

“They’re a type of demon, called a Terror demon. They can sink into the ground and repopulate anywhere.” I explained a little more, meeting the dwarf’s disgusted face.

“have you dealt with them before?” Cassandra asked

“My teacher taught me about them.” I answered her, sitting up, “Hey, is that one of the spots we marked as a camp location?” I said pointing to a little island, nestled between two creeks. Cassandra pulled out he map, “yes, I believe it is.”

Making my way to the small island I hailed a raven, letting it know to send a message to Leliana and our soldiers that we made it to Redcliff Farms. Cassandra raised the Inquisition banner high into the air, scouts would be here soon to set the camp. As she did, I noticed a darkening spot on her side, she was injured.

“Cassandra, let me clean that up for you,” I called. She placed her hand over the damp spot, “its only a scratch, it will be fine.”

“Let the Herald heal it Seeker, who knows where those demons have been,” Varric said with a shudder, “I’ll go check on the farms, give you ladies some privacy.”  

“How chivalrous of you Varric,” Cassandra said

“Shhh, don’t tell anyone,” the dwarf replied with a smirk

She removed her breast plate and lifted the leather sheath she wore beneath it revealing a rather nasty looking gash. “Got me with a claw,” she said grimacing as I put pressure on the wound.

“This will be easy to heal but it could have gotten really bad if you just left it, Cassandra, in the future don’t be hesitant to ask for help,” I told her,

She gave me a small nod and laid down on the opened bedroll. Calling my mana forward I pushed it gently into the wound, causing her to tense at the sensation.

“Have you ever been magically healed before?” I asked

“No, at least, not from minor injuries,” she replied

“well, it will feel warm, but it won’t burn you even if it feels like it may. Try not to tense up, it’s easier to get the flesh to lay correctly when it’s relaxed,” I explained.

She did well, relaxing into my touch and let out a breath of relief we I was all finished. “You can’t even tell I was cut,” she said with a pleased smile, “Thank you, Herald.”

Varric came back into view just as Cassandra buckled her breastplate in place. Perfect timing.

“Horsemaster is good and alive,” Varric explained, “but he has a few requests before he will send horses and weapons our way,”

Varric handed me a list and a small map.

“Dennet says there are bandits and carta about, he would like manned watchtowers built to ensure safe travel. Also, apparently there are some wolves causing trouble, attacking farmers and killing livestock, he’d like us to take care of them,” Varric explained.

“Is that odd behavior for wolves?” I asked, thinking that was normal

“farmers wife says the wolves usually mind themselves but not these ones, she said they come from that way,” he pointed back across the stream. I followed his gesture and was surprised to see a familiar staff blade shining in the sun.

“Well, all be,” said Varric, “I though he went back to the Crossroads.”

"Some of the refuges spoke of wolves attacking travelers, I tracked them to a cave in that direction,” Solas said, pointing behind him, “they will not be a problem any longer, there was a demon but now it is dead,” he said, handing me an amulet bearing a wolf’s head. “The demon dropped this. I believe it has some type of protection from wolves, May I?” he asked with a motion to my throat. With a nod, I turned and lifted my heavy curls, allowing him to clasp the delicate chain into place. The wolf head was lighter than I expected and laid right at the top of my bust.

“Well the wolves are taken care of, but the watchtowers are going to require more hands than we have out here. I suggest we report back to Haven,” Cassandra said.

“We still need to track down the Warden,” pulling out the map, “looks like we can get to the lake easily through there,” I pointed toward a small pathway heading north.

Cassandra humphed, but nodded in agreement. “Cassandra, you can go to Haven and we will meet you there once we are finished, take the horse Master Dennet gave us,” I said pointing to a saddled chestnut mare, that stood waiting by the stables.

“As you wish, Herald,” she said with a nod and rode off toward Haven.

After checking in with the Horsemaster and his wife, Varric, Solas and I headed off to the lake. The sun was low, but we had enough hours to make the Inquisition’s lake camp.

The firelight from our waiting camp led us the last bit of our journey, with the carta around, I didn’t want to travel with torches, too easy to find.

“Herald!” called the scouts as we approached, “Sister Nightingale has us holding this area of the lake for you. The Warden is just across the way, staying in a small fishing shack, he has some young men with him, not sure what he is doing over there.”

“Thank you,” I said, “We will pay him a visit in the morning, for now we need food and rest, it has been a long few days.”

“Of course,” they nodded, handing us each a bowl, “help yourselves.”

“Anyone up for a game of Wicked Grace?” Varric asked as we settled in for the night.

* * *

 “Remember how to carry your shields, you’re not hiding you’re holding,” the man said, walking back and forth in front of a lineup of about 4 young men. The man was on the shorter side, he wore Cerulean and Silver armor with the telltale griffon emblem on his chest piece.

“Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?” I called

He stocked toward me, almost angry “You’re not… how do you know my name? Who sent yo…” his words were cut off as an arrow flew towards us, he lifted his shield just in time, blocking the arrow from hitting its mark.

“That’s it,” he said annoyance on his face, “help or get out, we’re dealing with these idiots first, conscripts here they come!”

Shouts came from all directions as a band of highwaymen charged directly at us, rallying calls echoing off the mountains.

Fade stepping in front of a small group of them, I double sliced, gutting three at once. Solas cast a barrier around me as I went in again, daggers blurring with speed and flames. Varric, was laughing behind me “take that, bastards!” he called. Blackwall charged through the group like a boulder, hitting them with his broad shield and sending them flying to the ground, the young men used those opportunities to stab, slash and bash until there was just a mess of blood and bodies littering the yard of the small cabin.

After the battle was done, he approached the frightened young men, “Good job conscripts, even if this shouldn’t have happened. They could have…well… thieves are made not born, remember that. Take back what they stole, go back to your families, today you have saved yourselves," Blackwall instructed.

After the men disappeared, Blackwall approached, dark eyes suspicious, “You’re no farmer, how do you know my name?”

“I know your name because I am an agent of the Inquisition. I’m investigating if the disappearance of the Wardens has anything to do with the murder of the Divine.”

“Maker’s balls, the Wardens and Divine? That can’t be, no… you’re asking so you don't really know? First off, I didn’t know they disappeared. But we do that, right? No more Blight, job done, Wardens are the first thing forgotten,” his words held bitterness.

One thing I do know, no Warden killed the Divine. Our purpose isn’t political,” he assured

“I’m not here to accuse, not yet. I just need information,” my voice was steady, “I’ve only found you. Where are the rest?”

“I haven’t seen other Wardens for months. I travel alone, recruiting. Not much interest because the Archdemon is a decade dead, and no need to conscript because there is no Blight coming. Treaties give Warden’s the right to take what we need, who we need. These idiots forced this fight, so I conscripted their victims. They had to do what I said, so I told them to stand and fight, next time they won’t need me. Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than you think you are,” he held so much pride for his order, despite his gruffness, I liked this man.

“Do you know where the others could have gone?” I asked, hoping he’d have some thought of a possibility.

“Maybe they returned to our stronghold at Weisshaupt? That’s in the Anderfels, a long way North. I don’t really know, can’t imagine why they’d all disappear at the same time, let alone where they’d disappear too,” he replied

“Why haven’t you gone missing, like the rest of them?” I probed, more curious then suspicious.

He hmphed under my questioning, “Well... maybe I was going too. Or maybe there’s a new directive, but the runner got lost or something. My job was to recruit on my own. Planned to stay that way for months or even years.”

“Well, thank you Warden Blackwall,” I said flashing a small smile, “but now where does this leave us?” Then I turned to walk away.

“Inquisition... agent did you say? Hold a moment,” he asked. “The Divine is dead and the sky is torn. Events like these… thinking we are absent is almost as bad as thinking we’re involved. If you’re trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden… maybe… you need me?” he quested

Stopping, I turned to look him in his eyes, realizing they weren’t dark at all but were actually a green like the color of jade. They were deep set, the shadows cast from his brows made them appear darker than they really were. “The Inquisition needs all the support it can get but what can one Grey Warden do?” I asked

“Save the fucking world, if pressed,” he said beaming with joy. His line brought Solona back into my mind, he’s right.

“Look, maybe fighting demons from the sky isn’t something I’m practiced at but show me someone who is. Like I said, there are treaties, this may not be a Blight but it is a bloody disaster, some will honor them. Being a Warden means something to a lot of people.”

“Warden Blackwall, the Inquisition accepts your offer.”

“Good to hear, we both need to know what’s going on and perhaps I’ve been keeping to myself for too long. This Warden walks with the Inquisition,” he said extending his hand. I took it gratefully and was surprised by the warmth of it. He shook my hand firmly, then laid a gentle kiss on the top, “This Warden walks with you,” he whispered.

 

  



	19. Back to Haven, if Only for One Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tired from her time in the Hinterlands, Arya gets back to Haven just in time to leave again. Nonetheless, she feels very heroic by the tails of her adventures thus far.

* * *

It was well into the night when we approached the mountain village, I had never spent so much time on a horse and could barely move. I’m sure the sight of me trying to move my stiff body off the huge animal was quite hilarious, thankfully I was too exhausted to care.

Music, laughter and the smell of food floated on the air from the Singing Maiden. I had intended to go straight to bed but found myself following the music and scent instead. It had been weeks since I got to sit at a table and enjoy a meal. The closer I got, the more my stomach rumbled. Opening the door, everyone’s head turned toward me, and they started chanting, “Herald, Herald!” I almost turned to leave but a group at the table closest to the door handed me a mug and a plate of food. Sitting with the men, they started telling me the stories of what I had been doing in the Hinterlands.

“I heard you converted those creepy mountain cultists to Andrastian” one claimed.

“How’d you stumble upon Ritts doing the nasty with that Mage?” another asked, “Ritts is pretty heartbroken, she wont stop talking about Eldreda… We even tried setting her up with Minaeve… didn’t go so well.”

“I didn’t even know wolves could be possessed by demons, were they like mage wolves? And you took out an entire pack of em.” said a third

“And don’t forget how she closed all the rifts in the Hinterlands,” Flissa added bringing another round and more food to the table. The men around me all clapped. I had to admit, I sounded rather impressive.

The sun was rising when I finally made it to my bed, but my belly and heart were full.

* * *

 

A soft knock pulled me from sleep. The midday sun shown through the windows of my hut. “My Lady Herald?” Farren’s voice came from the door, “I have some messages for you.”

“Farren, please come in,” I called

The timid elf peeked in the door before stepping in completely and shutting it behind her. “Harritt has completed the daggers you requested,” she started.

“Wonderful!” I exclaimed

“Also, the Lady Ambassador says you should be able to make the trip to Val Royaeux now.”

“Good, anything else?”

“Yes, Leilana is wondering if you took care of that thing she wanted.”

“Right, I will need to report to her about that, anything else?” I asked

“Well… she said, “Its not really a message but the Commander and the Chancellor are making a scene in front of the Chantry...” her words faded off and she looked to the floor as if embarrassed for them.

“Great, ugh, they are like children,” I said, sounding surprisingly like Cassandra, “I’ll handle that first, thank you Farren.”

Farren left and I took a few moments of quiet. Cassandra was not going to let me put off the trip to Val Royaeux. Best to just get it over with. But first, time to handle the Chancellor.

I could hear raised voices as I walked up the dirt path to the Chantry. There was a crowd, arguing over fault for the Divine’s murder.

“We are no longer mages and templar's but part of the inquisition,” Cullen yelled, aiming for peace.

“And what does that mean exactly,” Chancellor Rodrick questioned, inciting the crowd, “I am curious Commander, how your Inquisition and its Herald will restore order as promised,” he continued, voice condescending.

“Of course, you are” Cullen muttered meeting my gaze.

“Restoring order should be left to the new Divine, once She is chosen, not your rebel Inquisition and it’s false profit,” Chancellor Rodrick accused

This man was infuriating and his demeaning tone… Ugh…

“While the Chantry bickers over who will be Divine, what are the people going to do?” I questioned, losing my temper, “have you been out there Chancellor?” I said motioning toward to world beyond Haven. “The faithful are being murdered, they are starving, freezing because they have lost their homes… by the time you decide on a Divine, there will be no one left for Her to rule over. Our concern lies with the people, not with proving ourselves you or to the Chantry.”

The crowd who had gathered, raised their hands cheering my rant onward and Chancellor Roderick stormed off.

“Why is he still here, Commander?” I asked turning to Cullen.

Cullen eyed the crowed, “Get back to work,” he called, and they dispersed.

“The Chancellor is toothless, sending him away will only make a martyr out of him,” he said, “but he is good practice for what you will come up against in the Capital.”

I placed my hand on Cullen’s should and he placed his over mine, “Will you be alright if I leave again?” I asked. He looked tired and warn out. I was just in the Hinterlands for weeks and now, a trip to the Capital would pull me away again. While I was out spreading our name, who was here talking care of Cullen?

He smirked, “I can’t say I don’t prefer it when you are here. but I assure you Haven will still be standing upon your return.”

“I will bring back good news,” I assured him and he smiled, leaving a moist kiss on my palm before heading back out to the training yard.

I ran into Leilana at the smithy, “Were you able to make contact with the Warden?” she asked. “I did, however, he doesn’t know where the other Wardens have disappeared to. He has pledged his sword to our cause and should arrive soon, after finishing up a few loose ends,” I told her.

I could see she was disappointed, “Well,” she said, “I’m sure he will be a great help to the Inquisition, nonetheless.”

“He seems to be a good man, if anything, have him take some of the pressure off Cullen. Blackwall is a good fighter, he could help train the recruits,” I suggested still concerned for his health.

“But will he look as good with his shirt off?” she questioned, giggling behind her hand. I felt my face heat up, she wasn’t wrong.

“Ooo, I see the Lady Herald has noticed our charmingly handsome Commander… a Commander who has also noticed her.” Leliana said, drawing a heart shape with her fingers in the air.

“I don’t think so, Lei, he is the Commander of our army, it wouldn’t be appropriate,” I said but couldn’t hide the smile from crossing my face.

“Forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest,” she cooed, “Good luck in the Capital Herald, I will make sure to give our Commander some time off, he does seem tired.”

After grabbing my newly crafted daggers from Harritt, I headed to the council room, just a few more things to take care of and we could head off to Val Royaeux.

The biggest thing on the table was the watchtowers. I gave Cullen lead on building them and escorting Dennett’s mounts safely to Haven.

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48218194517/in/dateposted-public/)


	20. Val Royaeux: A Templar Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team makes it to the Capital and finds a welcome party to beat all others.

* * *

 

Our group stayed at an inn off the market district of Orlais’ capital city. I didn’t realize how much I had missed the small comforts of wealth. My room had a private bath, a comfortable bed and I was awoken by the smell of fresh bread.

Ironically, the bath oil was Andraste’s Grace, and I chuckled at that. I let the warm water cleanse my body of travel and exhaustion. I was beginning to think that Haven was just always in the middle of winter. Here at the capital, the sun held midsummers warmth, flowers bloomed, their scent traveling on the light breeze.

Floating in through my window was the hustle and bustle of the city. If I closed my eyes, I could almost trick myself into thinking I was home.

_Sitting at a small table on Eliza’s back patio. She was bouncing a dark-haired toddler on her lap and telling me about the latest Minrathous gossip. Behind her, Dorian and Tallis are playing chess. Dorian must have been losing, his brows furrowed, and his thumb rested under his chin, typical contemplating look. She caught me staring and laughed, “you still watch him just as you did when we were children. I’m glad your lives finally met; it’s meant to be.” She said, “now you just need to get to work on that baby… Amalthea needs a little cousin,” she ruffled the child’s hair and Amalthea laughed in response._

_As if on cue, Dorian’s eyes raised and met mine. He stood and walked in my direction, purpose in each step. Swooping me in his arm he claimed my lips, “Mm you taste like Agreggio Pavali, I wonder what the rest of you tastes like,” he whispers running his tongue against my neck causing me to shiver. He whisked me away to the guest room and laid me gently on the bed. He put a little extra animation into each movement as he removed his clothes, tossing them in my direction,n one-by-one. Even being ridiculous he was sexy. “Maker help me, this man has me wrapped around his little finger.,” I thought to myself._

_“you’re not going to leave me hanging are you my dear,” his hand was reaching out and I placed mine in it. He spun me towards him and dipped me as if we were dancing at the summer soiree,’ then he untied my cotton dress and let it fall to the floor at our feet. The boned corset I wore came next, his hands trailing fiery sparks between my breasts and across my stomach, “Beautiful,” he said before lowing his face to my core. He toyed with me, using lips, teeth and tongue through the satin of my smalls until they were soaked through. With his teeth, he pulled them down and I kicked them to the floor. His soft, full lips made their way back up my thighs and stomach before he pulled one nipple into his mouth. Using his finger, he stroked the other causing it to erect. Moving his body inline with my own, he caught my lips, sliding his tongue and cock inside me at the same time._

Knock.. knock.. knock..

“Arya,” Cassandra’s voice came from the other side of my bedroom door, pulling me from my fantasy. “we must get going, one of Leilana’s scouts informed me that a Revered Mother is gathering folks in the Market square and apparently there are also a great many Templar’s present.”

I rolled my eyes, there’s always something it seems…

“I’ll be down in 20 minutes, “I called, I heard her annoyed huff as she walked away. Stepping from the bath, I called magic to dry my hair and body. I let my curls hang loose, as for the first time in a while I didn’t expect a fight. I pulled on a lavender and cream light cotton dress. The bodice was tight, clinging to the curve of my chest and hips but the bottom fell loose, the light fabric lifted as I spun in a circle. Satin slippers in the same lavender tone completed the look. It felt amazing to wear something other than leather armor and heavy fur boots.

At the bottom of the stairs Cassandra stood, still decked in full amour. She gave me a disapproving look but headed out the door. Once outside Varric and Solas approached from the direction of the market, carrying a basket of bread and fresh fruit. Like me, they had forgone the armor.

“You all seem to be enjoying yourselves,” Cassandra said, tone condescending.

“We are, very much so,” Solas replied, as if he didn’t catch her tone, although I know he did.

“It’s great to not be ass deep in death and snow for once,” Varric added.

“We are not here on holiday,” Cassandra said, “we have a mission and the three of you are not looking the part,” she mused, eyes bouncing between the three of us.

“I don’t know, Seeker,” Varric stated, “I bet Arya could sway many a Templar, with that dress,” he let his eyes move up and down my body smiling in appreciation.

“I do believe she already has,” Solas added, he and Varric chuckled and Cassandra grunted in disgust, before turning toward the market. Handing the basket of food to Farren, the three of us fell into step behind Cassandra and made our way toward the gathering crowd.

The market was full of people, they whispered as we passed; a few even ran the opposite direction screaming.

“Just a guess, Seeker, but I think they know who we are,” Varric stated

“Your skills of observation never fail to impress me Varric,” Cassandra replied voice heavy with sarcasm

On a pedestal in the middle of the crowd stood a Revered Mother, clothed in full Chantry robes.

“Good people of Val Royaeux hear me! Together we mourn our Divine, her naïve and beautiful heart, silenced by treachery. You wonder what will become of her murderer? Well wonder no more!” The Mother’s gaze fell on me and the people gasped.

“Behold! The so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell. We say, this is a false profit! The Maker would send no Mage in our hour of need.” She annunciated the word _Mage_ to show her scorn. 

All around me the gasping fell silent, hundreds of eyes turned in my direction, the weight of their gaze sat heavy. “You say I am the enemy. The Breach in the sky is the true enemy, we must unite to stop it,” my eyes on the Mother but my voice ringing out into the crowd.

“It’s true, the Inquisition wishes only to end this madness before it is too late,” Cassandra chimes in.

“It is already too late,” the Mother adds, pointing as a whole host of Templars approaching the pedestal. “The Templars have returned to the Chantry, they will face this Inquisition and the people will be safe once more,” but before she could continue her preaching, one of the Templars clocked her in the back of the head, she falls to the ground unconscious and the crowd calls out.

“what is the meaning of this?” I ask voice angry

The man appearing to lead the Templars stepped forward, “Her claim to authority is an insult, much like your own,” he says

Cassandra stepped forward, approaching the man, “Lord Seeker Lucius, it is imperative that we…”

“You will not address me,” he interrupts, “Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste’s prophet, you should be ashamed,” he lectures her like a disappointed father.

Then turning to the crowd, “You should all be ashamed! The Templars failed nobody when they left the Chantry to purge the Mages! You are the ones who have failed, you leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear,” he yelled to the crowd.

Locking back to Casandra, “If you have come to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. “The only destiny that demands respect is mine.”

Cassandra’s mouth fell open, speechless. “Templars,” I call “One of your own leads the Inquisitions forces, join us as he did, join us to close the Breach and together we shall keep the people safe.”

The templars look confused, “you are called to a higher power,” says another man, not wearing the Templar armor, “Ignore them.”

“I will make the Templar Order into a force that stands alone against the void! We deserve recognition! Independence!” the Lord Seeker yelled to everyone and nobody at the same time, “you have shown us nothing, and the Inquisition… less than nothing.”

“Templars! Val Royaeux in unworthy of our protection,” he addressed his men, “We march!”

Around us, the crowd mumbles in fear as the Templars take formation and marched out of the city. Varric breaks the silence cast as we all watched the Templars disappear.

“Charming fellow, isn’t he?”

“Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?” Casandra questioned

“How well do you know him?” I asked her

“He took over the Seekers of Truth two years ago, after Lord Seeker Lambert’s death. He has always been a decent mad, never given in to ambition or grandstanding. This behavior is very bizarre.” She answered

“Do you think he can be reasoned with?” I asked

“I certainly hope so,” she replied, “if not him, there are surely others in the Order who don’t feel as he does. Either way we should return to Haven and inform the others,” she instructed

I nodded my agreement, this surely puts a notch in our plans.

“Cassandra, you three head back to Haven, I have a couple things that I need to do first,” I said

“What could possibly be more important?” she asked, annoyed

I handed her the invitation I received from a courier requesting my presence at the home of Imperial Enchanter Vivienne. I also handed her the message I received about a possible ally.

“I’d like to take care of these, as they may prove helpful to our cause, but it will take an extra couple of days,” I answered her,

Cassandra nodded her head in approval, then turned to Varric, “will you stay with the Herald? I do not wish her to be here unprotected.”

Varric laid his hand over his heart, “Seeker, are you saying you trust me with the care of our lovely Herald… I don’t know what to say… I’m speechless really,” he jested

Scoffing Cassandra turned to leave but her dramatic storm off was interrupted by an elven woman wearing Circle robes. “Grand Enchanter Fiona?” Cassandra questioned. “The leader of the mage rebellion,” Solas stated, “is it not dangerous for you to be here?”

Fiona simply smiled, then looked at me, “I come to suggest that if you seek an alliance to close the Breach, perhaps it’d be best to look among your own.”

“So now you are willing to ally with the Inquisition?” I asked her

“We are willing to at least talk about it, consider this an invitation to Redcliff, Lady Herald. Come meet the mages, I hope to see you there,” she said before disappearing into the crowd, as if my magic.

“Finish your business, Herald, we will see you back in Haven,” Cassandra said.

“Fair well,” Solas added with a small bow before following in the Seeker’s waft.

Varric and my gaze met… “to the tavern?” he asked with a wink. I nodded, “thank the Maker,” and followed behind him.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48218290727/in/dateposted-public/)


	21. Val Royaeux: Two Truths and One Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya takes to the streets in search of allies but what she finds is that and so much more

 

 

* * *

I awoke, on my own, accord to the midday sun. No Ferran, no Cassandra, no war council, no snow, just me and the warmth of the sun.

My head hurt a little from last night… note to self, don’t try to out drink a dwarf. Varric and I had a blast, we played Wicked Grace and he challenged me to a drinking contest, which I obviously lost. After seeing me safely to my room, he took off with a lady, I believe she said her name was Felsi.

Downing an elfroot potion, I headed to the market. I was attending Lady Vivienne’s salon, and needed something to wear. In a small boutique up on one of the balconies, I found the perfect thing. Sapphire blue Orlesian silk, the dress fell to just above my knee on one side but tapered to my ankle on the other. It had an open back, with a delicate silver chain running down the middle, connecting the neck to the dress just above the swell of my ass.  Blue satin shoes with a slight heel finished it off, for a moment I wished Leilana was here, she’d love the shoes.

Back at my room, I took a bath, allowing the scent of Andraste’s Grace to soak into my skin, giving it a light floral smell. I piled my curls atop my head, held in place with simple crystal pins. Put on small clothes but forwent the corset. The dress slid along my skin, the coolness of it raising goosebumps on my arms, one of my favorite feelings. Taking a satisfied look in the mirror I headed out.

Varric was in the inn’s lobby, “Does the Lady require an escort?” he asked, I almost accepted but then decided against it, I felt like meeting the Imperial Enchanter alone would be best for now. “I appreciate the offer, Sir but I think I will go this one alone,” I said, “Shall I meet you at the tavern afterwards for a briefing?”

“I look forward to it,” he said with a nod, before heading up to his room. I laughed, from what I saw of Felsi last night, she was a feisty one, he’s probably exhausted.

The sun was low on the horizon, pinks and oranges just starting to turn the sky. I went into the market district and stopped at the city map. The residential area wasn’t too far, but it required me to follow some of Val Royaeux corridor streets. This city was somewhat maze like, lots of ups, downs and overs to get you to your destination. Thankfully the evening was lovely.

It was on a dark side street when the feeling of being watched hit me. I looked around but didn’t see anything out of place. Couples were walking hand-in-hand, voices quiet to keep their conversations private.

Coming out of the darkness into an open square the feeling subsided, perhaps it was just in my head I told myself… right before a hand went around my waist, another over my mouth and I was pulled into a corner, completely out of view by the people passing by.

I was about to send out a mind blast, but something stopped me… a familiar scent. “Andraste’s holy knickers,” a voice at my ear, “I was sure you were, you know exploded.” As the hand over my mouth loosened, I was overwhelmed by sandalwood and wood smoke. This was that stranger from the ball. A stubbled cheek nuzzled against the side of my throat causing a moan to escape my lips. I pushed myself against the front of this man, I needed to be closer to him. He chuckled, “why yes, that is me happy to see you,” he said as I rubbed my ass against his hardness. I turned in his arms, met those hazel-brown eyes and claimed his mouth. I drank him in, my need for him ravenous and I’d say out of control, but his need was just as intense. I don’t know how long we stayed there but when I finally pulled away my breath was ragged and my mind dizzy. His eyes sparkled with emotions and my hand unconsciously raised to his face, trailing along the line of his jaw and fullness of his lips. “Arya,” his tone questioning, “What are you doing in Val Royaeux?”

I shook the fogginess from my mind, will he think differently if I tell him who I am? I decided to avoid the Inquisition talk and lifted the small invitation for him to see. “I’ve been summoned by Vivienne de Fer.” I said, going for partial truth.

“The Imperial Enchanter? Why?” he seemed concerned

“Well I haven’t sided with the rebels, so perhaps she wishes to steer me to her cause,” I said shrugging. “Do you know her?”

“Hah, she is a bitch, but it isn’t safe for you to be without protection. Why not join the rebels in Redcliff?” he asked

I stepped away, a little frustrated. This man won’t even tell me his name, yet he dares tell me who to side with.

His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me back against him, even through my annoyance the act brought another moan to my lips. “I’m sorry,” he said, “who am I to tell you what to do.” He claimed my mouth this time delicately.

“Would you like to come with, I don’t have an escort?” I invited. he smiled, “Would I get to ravage your body afterwards?”

“You can ravage my body right now and then again afterwards, if it is your desire,” I cooed pushing him against the building at our back.

He growled and lifted me, turning so it was my back against the cold brick. My smalls were in his fist and his breeches unlaced in a matter of seconds. As he sheathed himself deep inside me, I was thankful I didn’t pick a puffy ball gown for tonight’s gala. Our bodies fell into sync, just as before, as if they were two halves of the same whole, finally together. His lips stayed on mine, smothering or groans of pleasure. Leaving one hand under my ass for leverage, he put the other between us rubbing it in circles over my clit. He brought me to climax and as I convulsed around him, he shuddered his release, filling me in more ways than one. Once our breathing slowed, he didn’t pull out or lower me to the ground, he just stared into my eyes. I had so many questions and emotions running through my head, but I couldn’t form any of them into words.

“Arya,” he started and from his tone, I knew he was going to leave, “I um, it’s not safe for me here right now. I wish I could tell you everything but I… I just can’t put you at risk.” He withdrew himself and set me on the ground. “Where will you go?” I wanted to offer him safety and protection, “Maybe I can help?” I offered

His smile was warm, and his lips found mine again. “When all this is settled, I will find you.”

“Will you at least tell me your name?” I questioned, just as before.

His gaze dropped, giving me my answer. Anger boiled over and I slapped him, right across that adorable lopsided grin. Then I turned and walked away, he called for me, but I ignored him. Tears rolled silently down my cheeks until I eventually found my way to Vivienne’s estate.

Standing in front of her massive home, I took a deep breath, calming my body and mind. Once I was composed and felt some semblance of dignity return, I stepped through the door.

A doorman asked for my invitation and I handed to him.

“Lady Trevelyan of Ostwick, representing the Inquisition” he announced to the attendees.

I was greeted by gasps and whispering nobles. Slipping into the façade I was taught, the façade of the Game, I was overwhelmed with relief, after so much vulnerability, this mask was a comfort.

“Oh Darling, you are just lovely” said one couple, “I’ve heard tales of your beauty, but they don’t do you justice.”

“I’m honored,” I replied

“What a pleasure to meet you My Lady,” a nobleman added, “Seeing the same faces at every event becomes so tiresome.”

“Tell me dear, are you here as a guest of Madame de Fer or Duke Bastien?” they asked

“Madame de Fer,” I replied as if she and I were well acquainted

“Are you here on business,” this from a noblewoman, “I have heard the most curious tales of you, I cannot imagine they are true.”

“What have you heard of me?” I questioned, my turn to phish.

“Some say that Andraste herself delivered you from the Fade,” the women said, excitement evident in her voice

“Ah yes, everything you’ve heard is completely true,” I said keeping my voice low as if it was a secret between the two of us

“Better and better” she squealed

Turning my attention back to the man, I replied to his question about my relationship to the hostess

“Yes, in fact, Lady Vivienne and my mentor were close friends.” I replied, knowing this to be true, although only through rumors.

Our small talk was interrupted by a man yelling over the crowd, “the Inquisition, what a load of pig shit,” he said.

“Washed up Sisters and crazed Seekers? No one can take them seriously,” he continued stepping close enough to touch. I wanted to step away but knew it’d be seen as weakness, so I held my ground despite his uncomfortable closeness. “Everyone knows it is just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power,” he almost spat it.

“The Inquisition is working to restore peace to all of Thedas,” I said, advocating our cause

“Restoring peace…with an army... huh, we know what your Inquisition truly is” he said, “If you are actually a woman of honor, lets step outside,” he said reaching for a sword sheathed at his back.

“My dear Marquis,” came a sing song voice, “how unkind of you to use such language in my home... to my guests,” she said, turning him to ice in front of me, “You know such rudeness is intolerable.”

“Tell me dear, as the wounded party, what would you have me do with the foolish, foolish man?” she questioned

My mood was not the best at that moment, and I felt entranced by her willingness to use magic in front of all these people.

“Kill him,” I said, “I will not be disgraced in such a way.”

“Marvelous,” she said and with a clap of her delicate hands he fell to the floor breaking to pieces.

 I expected gasps or screams but instead was met with clapping and pats to the shoulder. Huh that went better than I expected… I think I like this Madame Vivienne.

“Come my dear, lets speak I private,” she said, and I gladly followed her from the room.

It was very late, or perhaps very early, when I left Vivienne’s home. The streets were quiet, everyone tucked into bed, safe and warm. Passing the tree from my earlier encounter I paused… the whole thing is intoxicating but off putting at the same time. I feel like I love him but, how could I? I don’t know anything about him… the attraction must be strictly biological, lust, infatuation even, but not love. I pushed the thoughts aside, right now I need to keep my focus on my duty to the Inquisition, not on my personal life.

Crossing the market square, I stopped by the tavern, but it was empty, Varric must have called it a night already. The inn was quiet, and I was relieved to fall into my soft feather bed; allowing sleep to take away my troubling thoughts of love.

The following morning, Varric and I prepared to head back to Haven. We had to stop at the courtyard meeting place indicated on the mysterious note. We were surprised to step into a fight but managed to take the few attackers on easily. It turns out that the note came from Sera, a member of the infamous Red Jennies. She offered us access to the Red Jenny network in return for a position within the Inquisition. I was happy to have her join us, not only for her network but also for her fun personality. We needed someone to help with morale. Sera traveled with Varric and I back to Haven. Vivienne would arrive shortly, after tending to some loose ends. All-in-all, I felt the trip to Val Royaeux was advantageous.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48218390842/in/dateposted-public/)


	22. Onward to Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Haven, Arya isn't entirely sure what she should be feeling.

* * *

 

I thought the trip was advantageous… my advisers not so much…

“That was an unnecessary risk,” Cullen was saying, “The Herald could have been killed or taken by the Templars, she is a mage after all.”

“I agree,” Leilana commented, “any number of things could have gone wrong, you should have had me send scouts before following through on those meetings. And Redcliff, it is probably a trap.”

“You will not be going to Redcliff,” Cullen demanded, “I will not let you be in danger like that again,” perspiration heavy on his brow.

Thankfully Josephine chimed in, “The Herald made good connections for us and at least now we know where the Templars stand. I agree it was a risk, but I also feel it has worked out in our favor.”

“I will be with her in Redcliff,” Cassandra chimed in, “And the Warden Blackwall is a very skilled fighter, the Herald will be safe.”

I was beginning to feel dizzy, looking from one to the other, as they discussed my fate without even asking me what I wanted. I was frustrated and anxious after such a long trip.

“Well, since you all seem to know what I will or will not be doing, I don’t see a need for my presence… once you have my future decided upon, come find me in the Tavern.”

Childish... perhaps but I was just really feeling done. Sera and Blackwall had a table in the corner. As I entered Sera hailed me over, she must have downed a few already because she just about fell off her stool when she waved me over. Blackwall, chivalrous as ever, stood and pulled my seat out for me, with a soft smile.

“Thank you,” I said taking my seat.

 Flissa came over, “What can I get you?” she asked

“I’d like to buy a round for the house,” my order was met with hoots and haulers from the entire Tavern. “As the Herald requests,” she said happily taking the large bag of gold I placed on the table.

Sera and Blackwall were an interesting pair. You’d think they would clash. Sera is spontaneous, loud and always making a joke or innuendo. Blackwall, on the other hand, is quiet, thinks things through, chivalrous and serious. Together though, they had each other rolling.

A couple hours in, Varric joined us, which added another dynamic to the group. We listened intently as he told us about Hawke, Fenris, Isabella and him taking on a huge dragon out at the Bone Pit, which is a mine in the Free Marches. Apparently, they were sent to find out what scared the miners and came face-to-face with a high dragon and a bunch on dragonlings. They had expected to find nothing, maybe a couple spiders, but not a dragon.

At the tale end of the story, I heard heavy boots stop behind me but paid them no heed until I felt hot breath on my neck. I jumped and almost fell out of my seat. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” Cullen said eyes sparkling with laughter, “can I take you up on that walk?” he asked.

“I think you can take her up on a lot more than a walk Commander,” Sera started.

Turning to her, “Sera, don’t even,” I tried to sound stern but felt the heat in my cheeks. “hah,” she said, “I knew it” and held her hand out to Blackwall, who placed a silver in it.

“What? you all are places bets now?” I said astonished

“Only on who you’ll end up knocking boots with,” Sera answered as if it was nothing.

I stood and turned to Cullen, apologetically, he stared open mouthed and I grabbed his hand, “Let go.”

“Right, of course,” he said

Cullen led me out of Haven and down one of the paths heading toward the lake. The night was crystal clear, showing the full brilliance of the stars above.

“How did you end up here?” I asked

He chuckled. “I was serving as Knight Captain in Kirkwall under Knight Commander Meredith.”

“I’ve heard horror stories of her,” I said, “are they true?”

“yes and no, Meredith’s views of mages were colored to the negative from an early age. Her entire family was killed by an apostate, leaving her an orphan and to live alone with the trauma of the incident. Not to say that excuses her behavior… but...” his voice faded off, “to see that is… well life changing.”

“What about you?” “Where are you from” he asked

I laughed; Cassandra had just asked me the same question.

“Hasn’t Leilana filled you in on my history?” I asked

He smiled, “she has gathered some information, yes but I’d rather hear it firsthand.”

That’s the same answer Casandra had given me.

“My family, the Trevelyan’s, live in Ostwick. I have been at the Circle there for the last few years as Senior Enchanter,” I said

“I didn’t realize you were Senior Enchanter” he said, “Usually they’re…older.”

I laughed, “I was appointed right after passing my Harrowing, the rebelling Circle’s made it hard for families to find a safe place to send their children. We ended up with so many untrained mages on our doorstep that First Enchanter Lydia felt it necessary to move the process along quicker for those of us with the skill. I came into the Circle already trained and thus was one of the few who could help her teach the young mages.” I explained

“So, First Enchanter Lydia put you through your Harrowing early so you could help her train new mages?” he asked

“Kind of, I had only been at the Circle for a year before I was appointed Senior Enchanter, but I was already well trained, so I didn’t need the many years of being apprenticed that most mages require when they get to a Circle.”

“Did you come into your powers later in life then?” he asked

“No, I was 11 when my powers manifested,” I told him

He stopped and faced me, concern and astonishment on his features. He was putting the pieces together, I knew what the next question would be and for the first time since this all started, I was okay with sharing. They’d either accept me or they wouldn’t.

“How long were you in the Ostwick Circle then?” He questioned

“4 years,” I answered

“Before that?” he asked

I was nervous and started rambling

“Well, my family is well connected and had me privately trained. After what happened to Aunt Revka, they feared children being taken away and the family being further ostracized due to magic. So, they sought out my father’s family in the Imperium. They found me a patron and contracted for me to wed a high-ranking member of the Magisterium. I spent all my childhood there, only returning home to visit my family in the summers.”

By the time I was done spilling the information I was shaking.

“I assume from your silence, Leilana doesn’t know that part?” I asked

He stepped close to me and gave me that smirk, the swooning one, and my legs felt wobbly. I thought he might kiss me, by the way he lent towards me until I felt the weight of his feathered cloak on my shoulders.

“Your shivering,” he said

“and to answer your question, no she either doesn’t know or has decided not to share.” he said

“You are related to the Amell’s then?” he asked smiling

I let out a bitter laugh, of course I just admit to being trained in Tevinter and all he can think about is my connection to Solona Amell.  I am really starting to hate that girl.

“What?” he asked surprised by my reaction

I took the step that hovered between us, there was tension there, attraction from both sides, not intense, like with that stranger, but still heavy and constant. I raised my gaze; his eyes were darting back and fourth showing how he struggled with what to do.

“You uh you didn’t answer my question?” he stuttered, face reddening but he placed his hands on my hips.

“Don’t you already know the answer?” I replied, raising on tip-toes so our faces were more level.

“not that one, the other,” his breath was warm against the skin of my cheek.

I had to think back through the conversation, what question then? Ahh right, the laugh, why was I laughing…

“When you look at me, do you see me, or do you see her?” I asked, trying to put all my bitterness into one simple question.

Emotions rolled through his face hurt, shame, sadness, defensiveness and finally understanding… he took a step back, releasing my hips.

I handed his cloak back and turned to leave, “Thank you for the walk Cullen, lets try it again, another time.”

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48218412071/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48218459457/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48218411621/in/dateposted-public/)


	23. Contemplation's and Assurances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an emotionally draining few days, Arya gets to spend some time with her Ambassador.

* * *

 

It was hard to walk away, leaving him at the lakeside alone, but after Val Royaeux… I was too confused to deal with matters of the heart. Not to mention, feeling vulnerable. I don’t know why the stuff with Solona bothers me so much. Is it jealousy or more like being afraid I’ll never live up to the expectation?

But who expects you to be her or be like her, Arya, is it them or is you? I guess that’s the big question… the one I need to figure out and answer for myself.

I stopped, turning back to the lake contemplating going back to him. “My lady,” a voice came from behind me, “are you alright?”

It was Blackwall, I had unknowingly stopped right outside the small cabin by the smithy. “I’m alright,” I said with a sigh.

“You may be Thedas’ savior but you’re a terrible liar,” he said with a chuckle, “if you want to talk, my door is always open.”

“Thanks, Blackwall, perhaps another time.”

I was meandering around Haven and ended up at the Chantry. Inside, there were loud voices coming from Josephine’s office.

Opening the door, I was met by an elaborate Orlesian mask and Josephine’s look of relief.

“The Inquisition cannot remain, Ambassador, if you can’t prove it was founded on Justina’s Orders,” the man in the mask said.

“This in an inopportune time Marquis, more of the faithful flock here each day. Ah, allow me to introduce you to the brave soul who risked her life to slow the magic of the Breach,” she stated, motioning me forward.

“Mistress Trevelyan, may I introduce the Marquis DuRellion, one of Divine Justina’s greatest supporters…”

“And the rightful owner of Haven. House DuRellion lent Justinia these lands for a pilgrimage. This ‘Inquisition’ is not a beneficiary of this arrangement,” he sputtered.

“This is the first I have heard of Haven having an owner outside of the Chantry,” I inquired politely

“My wife, Lady Machen of Denerim, has claim to Haven by ancient treaty with the monarchs of Ferelden. We were honed to loan this land to Divine Justinia she is… was a woman of supreme merit. I will not let an upstart order remain on her holy grounds.”

“Interesting considering the Inquisition was begun by the Left and Right hands of the Divine.”

“I see no written documents from Sister Leliana or Seeker Pentaghast proving that Justinia approved the Inquisition,” he sighed

Josephine’s quick wit jumped in, “If he will not take her at her word, I am afraid Seeker Pentaghast must challenge him to a duel,” she looked directly at me.

“WHAT!?” Marquis DuRellion, apparently didn’t like that idea,

“It is a manner of honor among the Nevarran’s, shall I arrange the bout for tonight?” Josephine continued; quill poised to schedule.

“No… perhaps my reaction to the Inquisition’s presence was somewhat hasty,” he replied

“We face a dark time Your Grace, Divine Justinia would not want her passing to divide us. She would in fact, trust us to build new alliances to the benefit of all, no matter how strange they might seem,” Josephine said, tension leaving her body, the crisis had be averted.

“I’ll think on it, Lady Montilyet. The Inquisition might stay in the meanwhile,” he said before giving a small bow and tunring to leave.

Once the Marquis was gone, I took a seat at Josephine’s large desk.

“Do the DuRellion’s actually have a claim on this place?” I asked

“His Grace’s position is not so strong as he presents it. Despite their Ferelden relations, the DuRellion’s s are Orlesian. If the Marquis wishes to claim Haven, Empress Celene must negotiate Queen Anora on his behalf. Both Celene and Anora have current concerns that are a bit larger than property disputes,” she explained

“I’m so pleased the Marquis isn’t tossing us out into the cold,” I stated, not sure how we could have problem solved through that one.

Josephine let out a sigh, “His Grace is only the first of many dignitaries we must contend with.”

“You expect more people in Haven?”

“Undoubtedly, and each visitor will spread the story of the Inquisition after they depart. As ambassador, it is my duty to make sure that the story is as complementary as possible,” she said, pride in her tone. She really loves doing this stuff.

“May I ask what brought you to work for the Inquisition?” I asked, my curiosity sparking.

“Sister Leliana approached me, we have been acquainted for quite some time. For better or worse, being the Inquisition’s diplomat has been as interesting as she promised.”

What sort of dealings have you had with nobility?” I probed further

“For some years, I was the royally appointed court ambassador from Antiva to Orlais. The nobility of Thedas is a rather singular sphere, those I’m not acquainted with, I know through reputation,” she stated, sitting a little taller as she spoke.

“The Inquisition is lucky to have you as an advocate Lady Montilyet,” I complimented.

“Thank you, let us hope so. Thedas’ politics have become agitated as of late, I hope to guide us down smoother paths. Now if you will excuse me, I have much work to finish before the day is done.”

“Of course, have a good evening Josephine,” I said with a nod.

The day’s events weighing on my mind, I decided to turn in for the night, after a dip in the baths of course. 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48294455796/in/dateposted-public/)


	24. The Storm Coast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is sea air really good for the soul?

 

* * *

“Enjoy the sea air Herald, they say it’s good for the soul,” Scout Harding said finishing her report.

Leliana had sent a patrol to the Storm Coast, in search of the Warden’s but upon missing their ‘check in,’ she sent Harding’s crew to follow up. It seems the patrol has not been located, according to Harding, Hessarian Raiders are littering the Coast, making it hard for her crew to go anywhere.

Additionally, we received a messenger representing a mercenary crew, calling themselves The Chargers. The messenger, Krem, shared that their leader the Iron Bull wants to join the Inquisition. Our mission to the Storm Coast has three objectives

  * Find the patrol
  * Meet the Iron Bull
  * See if we can find anything about the Warden’s



The Inquisition camp was set high on a hill overlooking the beach, I could see people fighting down below, they looked like ants scurrying about.

Grabbing my daggers, I headed down the hill, Sera, Blackwall and Cassandra following my lead. As soon as I was within range, I called lightening, sending bolts through the battle. Our team, along with the Chargers, had the Hessarian Raider’s down fast.

“Krem, once the throat cutters are done pull out the casts,” the Qunari called

“So your with the Inquisition huh, glad you could make it!” he said turning his attention to me, “take a seat, drinks are coming.”

“Nicely done, I hear you’re looking for work?” I asked, taking a seat next to him.

“I am!” he said, his one eye brightening with excitement, “not before my drink though.”

One of the Chargers approached us, it was the one who came to Haven.

The Iron Bull looked at me, “I assume you remember Krem, my lieutenant?”

“Nice to see you again, Ser,” Krem replied, “throat cutters are done Boss.”

“Already! Have them check again, I don’t want any of those Tevinter bastards getting away…. No offense Krem,” the Bull chuckled

“None taken, Chief” Krem said, “At least a bastard knows who his mother is, that’s one up on you Qunari right?”

Bull mocked hurt as Krem walked away laughing.

“You’ve seen us fight, we aren’t cheap, but we are worth it, and I know the Inquisition can afford us,” The Iron Bull was saying, handing me a mug of something.

“What is this going to cost me exactly?” I asked

“It won’t cost you anything personally,” he stated, winking his single eye, “unless you want to buy drinks later?”

His forwardness was charming and made me giggle. “Your ambassador, what’s her name, Josephine, we go through her, gold will take care of itself, don’t worry about that. All that matters is that we’re worth it.

“The Chargers seem like and excellent company,” I complimented.

“They are, but you’re not just getting the boys, you’re getting me. You need a front line bodyguard. Whatever it is, demons, dragons, the bigger the better. And there is one other thing, might be useful, might piss you off. I am a member of Ben Hassarath. I have been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to it's leaders and report back. This means, in addition to our impressive fighting skills, you would also gain intelligence from my reports, if you spymaster is as good as they say, she will do wonders with them.”

In Tevinter, the Qunari were not well liked, an opinion based on the never-ending war between the two factions. I never understood it really, I think they have just been fighting for so long, they don’t know how to do anything else.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked, I appreciate his transparency but at the same time, it’s not what I have grown accustomed to.

“Whatever happened at the Conclave, its bad, someone needs to get that Breach closed. So, whatever I am, I’m on your side,” Bull stated, reassuringly 

“Still could have hidden what you are,” I mentioned raising an eyebrow at him

He chuckled, it rumbled like thunder, “from something called the inquisition?” “You would have found out sooner or later, better you hear it from me now.”

“Alright, you’re in,” I said, extending my hand to shake his much larger one

“Krem” he yelled, “tell the men to finish drinking on the road, Chargers just got hired.”

“What about the casts Chief, we just opened them up…. with axes,” Krem yelled back

“Find some way to seal them, you’re Tevinter right? Try blood magic,” Bull replied, shaking his head.

“We’re camped just atop the hill,” I motioned upward where the Inquisition banner could be seen blowing about in the wind, “stay with us tonight and head for Haven in the morning, wouldn’t want the drink to go to waste.”

Iron Bull laughed, a bellowing sound coming from his large form, “I think I’m gonna like you, Boss,” he patted my back, just about knocking me to the ground in doing so. “Sorry… I ah… I forget how fragile you humans are.”

Dark clouds loomed in the distance. The warm, moist air was heavily charged, a storm was coming in. As we hiked back up to camp the rain, a fine mist, backlighted by the setting sun turned the hillside into a dream like state. It was quite lovely in its own way and reminded me of night time adventures with Solas. I sighed, realizing that I missed his company. I wonder what it was that, ‘required his immediate attention.’

Bull made the fire. I was thankful for the rain, otherwise it probably would have caught the entire coast aflame. The fire raged, some flames reached as tall as Bull.

The Chargers had also acquired a variety of local fauna. We basically had a smorgasbord of choices for dinner. Once the storm was upon us, I cast a barrier over our campsite, keeping people dry at least while they ate. Thankfully, the energy from the storm, kept my mana level full, it’s remarkedly draining to keep those barriers up for extended amounts of time.

Everyone had their fill of food, drink and tales of adventure, before they started drifting off to their tents. I had first watch and thus laid against my pack next to the fire. I was about to doze off when I heard feet approach, Blackwall sat next to me, “May I speak with you about something?” he asked

“of course, what’s on your mind?”

“Your spymaster sent the scouts here in search of the Wardens, right?”

“Yes,” I answered him, “She is on a quest to find them, I believe she has mixed motive. Yes the timing of their disappearance is curious, but I believe she also wishes to find the Hero of Ferelden.”

“Why would she be looking for her?” he asked

“Well they are friends, or were, and I think that Leliana was in love with her. That’s just an assumption I put together based on the look she gets in her eyes when speaking about her,” I explained.

“Right?” he said completely unamused by my love story gossip.

“Anyway, she fought beside Solona during the blight. I believe she is trying to find her friend.” I clarified, reining in my inner romantic.

“Ah, yes,” he said, “you know I met her once?”

“Really?” I asked, curiosity sparking

“Yea, I was in Redcliff and she came into the tavern there one night, it was right before they all went to Denerim. She had been crying and I bought her a drink. I didn’t know who she was, but I don’t like seeing a lady in distress. So, I offered an ear and she took it. As her story came spilling out, I felt a mixture of despair and awe. She was young, and her world had gone from the quiet calm of a mages tower to fighting not just for her life but for the world. However, what weighed on her most was more personal. She was in love, but it would end in tragedy, duty would tear them apart just as it had before with her first love.”

“She tell you details?” I asked, curious if he knew Cullen’s role.

“Well, she said she had been romantically involved with a Templar while in the Circle. She spoke of him and it was regret in her eyes. She shared she was conscripted and didn’t want to be a Warden. She would have been content living her life in the tower, as long as her Templar was there,” he said with a sigh.

Now who was being the hopeless romantic.

“However,” he continued, “when I met her, she was with another, a Warden, her companion. Her heart was broken because she would have to leave him in order to save the world.”

“What do you mean?” I asked

“Do you know why it has to be a Grey Warden who kills the Archdemon?” he asked

“No, I just figured they were the only ones strong enough.”

“Yes and no,” he said, “you see to become a Warden you must take the taint within yourself, this is where your powers stem from. However, an archdemon, is a corrupted Old God and thus if killed the soul will simply pass from that body to another minion. However, the taint within a Warden traps the soul and it is not able to jump into another body. A mortal cannot hold two souls, so both are destroyed,” he explained

“So… it must be a Grey Warden, so the soul is trapped, but taking the soul also kills the Warden?” I asked for clarification

“That’s right,” he said leaning toward me as if telling me a secret, “Solona Amell planned to take the killing blow in order to save her lover.”

“She felt that strongly for him? She could have gone back to the Circle, to Cullen, if she survived but she was going to throw that all away to allow Alistair to live?”

“Alistair, that’s the name,” he said, “that’s right, Alistair was the heir to the throne, and he needed to live so that he could rule Ferelden.”

“What!” I sat up, “Alistair was the heir? Why is Anora ruling Ferelden then?” I asked

Blackwall shrugged, “figured Alistair was so distraught about what happened he left.”

“But Solona didn’t die, how did she kill the archdemon and not die?”

Blackwall shrugged again, “well she said something about a ritual one of her companions offered that could save them but that it’d require Alistair to sleep with the companion and impregnate her. She was upset, didn’t know if she could ask him to do that.”

“So, if neither of them died…hmm interesting,” I said mind reeling with thoughts. Too bad I was stuck in Ferelden, I bet Tevinter would have records of such a ritual.

“Anyway,” Blackwell started again, “I wanted to tell you that I know where some Warden camps are scattered around the coast, tomorrow can we check them out?”

“That’d be wonderful, perhaps we will find some clues as to where they went,” I said. 

He nodded and retreated to his tent. My mind would not still to allow sleep and once again, I wished Solas had joined us. If there is a way to cure the Warden’s, that’d be something worth knowing.


	25. Marco! Polo!

* * *

 

Birds woke me up the next morning, so many birds chirping and cawing. Drowsily, I pulled on my leather tunic and leggings, twisted my hair into a braid and crawled from the tent. “Morning, Boss,” Bull called from the campfire, “Scouts say they think they know where that missing patrol is.” He motioned toward the huddle of green and blue clad Inquisition agents. “Report?” I called as I approached them.  “Herald… uh… yes we received a raven… our patrol was last seen,” he pulled out a map of the region, “here, there is some type of a structure up the mountain.”

I stepped closer, trying to get a better look at the map he held. The young agent shakenly handed the map to me before he all but ran away.

“And the Herald casts terror into the hearts of men,” Bull called, chuckling loudly

“We should head out, there is much that needs to be done here,” Cassandra said mounting her mare and walking to the edge of camp.

I was oddly feeling anxious to get back to Haven and thus followed Cassandra’s lead, mounting my cream colored mare and heading off toward the spot marked on our map.

As we created the hill, a couple small shacks came into view. They sat nestled in a small clearing, surrounded on three sides, by jagged cliffs. I halted my mare at the edge of the clearing, the silence was deafening. Inside me, my necromancy sparked…. there was death here. Dismounting, I made my way toward one of the small shacks. Sure enough, inside were the bodies of our missing patrol. “Cassandra!” I called and she came running, “Maker,” she whispered at the sight, “We need to check for personal effects to send back to their families.”

“Those damn Hessarian Raiders,” Bull said, “lets take the fight to them Boss.”

“Search the area for anything that hints at their location,” I directed to Bull and Blackwall as Cassandra and I searched for the identity of our fallen comrades.  

* * *

 

Not two hours later, the four of us were crouched outside the Raider’s encampment. It was a small thing, a few buildings surrounded by tall wooden spikes. Inside we could hear laughing and singing. It sounded as if they were celebrating something.

I counted off on my fingers one, two, three and we charged in, blades flying. I sent a few fireballs at the largest group of men, they screamed as their flesh was scorched.  Cassandra and Bull twisted their hug swords about as if they were nothing, sending men flying through he air two or three at a time. Blackwall was quicker with his movements, his footwork like a dance, as he switched between sword and shield. Keeping my body on the outside of the battle, I cast into the fray; fire, fire, electricity, fire until silence fell over the encampment. It was hard to see at first with all the smoke and dust but as it settled, I looked around at my team, we did well and now the Hessarian Raiders will think twice before attacking the Inquisition or our people.

Once we returned to the camp, I sent a raven to Leliana, letting her know that the patrol had been lost and the identities of the men, which I’m sure she knew better than I. After a rest and supply restock, we headed out to see about the Warden camps. Finding the Warden camp sites turned out to be a tad more of a challenge than expected. They were scattered and set in nondescript locations, under a fallen tree or on a cliff face jutting out from the mountain. It took us the rest of that day and part of the next to find them all.

According to the journal’s we found, the Wardens were looking for someone, one of their own. The owner of said journals, a Dalish by the name of Velanna, spoke of darkspawn hovering just under the surface. We didn’t come across any Darkspawn on our journey, but I made a note to mention it to Cullen and Leliana.

Outside of that, the only thing we gleaned was that their target was well known among their fellows and that he seemed to evade capture. The last note pointed to a rock ledge on the eastern edge of the island, upon checking it out, we found nothing but a small table and chair. On the table sat an empty bottle of spirts and a partially eaten triangle of cheese, as if the man in question sat there enjoying a snack before being picked up via boat and disappearing.

 


	26. Dreams and Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Need a little angst with a side of fluff, here we go :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some translations  
> Amatas- Tevene term of endearment
> 
> “kaffas”- Tevene curse word
> 
> “Festis bel umo canavarum” – Tevene for “you’ll be the death of me”

* * *

 

Haven was the same as usually when we road up. Cullen and his men were taking up the training yard. At our approach, Cullen stepped away, grabbing the reigns of my horse.

“How was it?” he asked, “Bull and the Chargers arrived shortly before you. They seem an interesting sort.”

“It was wet,” I said with a laugh, “you know what they say, sea air is good for the soul.”

He reached up, encircling my waist with his large hands. By the time either of us realized what that looked like, it was too late. I felt my cheeks heat up as I slid down into his arms.

“Uh… umm sorry,” he cleared his throat, “I wasn’t thinking.” Even as he said it, he didn’t release me. The warmth of his body felt nice against my chilled skin, and I reacted with goosebumps. I don’t know how long I stared into the molten gold of his eyes before I found words.

“It’s been a long ride, the chance that I would’ve fallen on my own is quite high, thank you Cullen.”

In that moment he noticed he was still holding me and nearly jumped backwards, “Back to work than,” he said.

Behind me I heard the clink of silver and Sera’s giddy laugh, “I’m so winning this,” she said

I shot daggers at her with my glare and she jumped, “Aye Herald, the shite is obvious,” she said before frolicking toward the small town.

Following in Sera’s wake, I made my way inside, I needed a bath.

* * *

 After a long soak and a hot meal, sleep found me quickly. I dreamt of Dorian. Warm sunlight filled the back courtyard of the Quanris estate. The smell of Crystal Grace was heavy in the air. Dorian was circling me, staff drawn, electricity arching from his hands. “Come on now Little Amatus, show me what you’ve got,” he goaded.

I had sparring daggers and came at him, fade stepped and showed up at his back, channeling fire through my blades I swiped at his legs.

“kaffas” he swore but fell to the ground, as if I really hit him. With a jump I landed over him, straddling him, daggers at his throat.

“Check mate” I said

“Little Amatus is cheeky today isn’t she,” he smiled wrapping his arms around my waist he flipped me over in one movement.

“But you left yourself wide open,” he whispered, his lips hovering barely above mine

“Festis bel umo canavarum,” I replied closing the space on the last word

A guttural growl came from low in his chest, the intensity of his hunger all consuming.

“you miss this man, whom is lucky enough to hold so much of the Herald’s heart?” Solas’ soft voice road on the air, as I watched myself and Dorian.

I had sensed his presence earlier, but it's still an odd feeling sharing your dream with a conscious observer. 

“We grew up together, before the Circle,” I answered

“I did not realize you spoke Tevene,” he stated.

“I am sure there are several things we don’t know about one-another Solas, your past is as much a secret as mine.” I said turning towards him

He nodded in acknowledgement, “Yes, I just have the advantage of viewing fragments of yours while you sleep.”

“Perhaps, you will share some of your own with me at some point?” I questioned.

“Perhaps I shall,” he answered

I turned back to dream me, Dorian had my eyes trapped in his forest green gaze, one hand trailing along the side of my face. “Someday, you and I will make history, Amatus,” his voice was full of emotion.

Remembering that moment, brought tears to my eyes, “that was the first time he told me he loved me,” I shared

I thought I knew it all back then, my future was set. I was going to marry Dorian, he was everything that a girl could dream of in a husband: attractive, charming, funny, brilliant, powerful, kind, loving, an amazing kisser. Together, he and I were going to have children strong in both magical ability and character. As scion to house Pavus, Dorian was on the path to be Archon. We would have shown the world that Tevinter wasn’t just full of fanatics and blood mages. We would have allied with the Free Marches, Orlais, Fereldan… I had it all planned out... we were going to be each other’s future and in being so, make history.

“What is my future now?” I wondered, eyes caught in the glowing green flickering of my left palm.

“we must get back,” Solas interrupted my reminiscing

I nodded in agreement, tomorrow we were headed to Redcliff to meet Grand Enchanter Fiona. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48294345846/in/dateposted-public/)


	27. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya and the team prepare for Redcliff, what awaits them in the coming days?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter one, some stuff I feel like needs to be separate but is just not really long all by itself.

* * *

 

As with most travel days, I awoke to Farren’s quiet knocking, “my lady Herald, Seeker Cassandra is awaiting you in the war room, she expects your presence immediately.”

Thankfully, I am a light sleeper, or I’d never hear the young elf. “Please tell Cassandra I will be there soon,” I instructed

Being used to Cassandra’s sense of urgency now, I took my time. If it was an emergency, she’d come find me. First off, I headed to the tavern for some breakfast.  

Varric was there, “Hey ya, you procrastinating the trip too eh?” he asked

“Mostly I’m just trying to prove to Cassandra that we don’t always need to hurry.”

“What can I get you, my lady?” Flissa asked

“whatever Varric here is having,” I said, patting the dwarf on the shoulder.

“Coming right up,” she smiled as she walked toward the back

“Not looking forward to this trip?” I asked

“I’m from Kirkwall, anytime a mage is involved there was trouble. So, to be honest, I am a little nervous about allying ourselves with a bunch of rebel ones… Are they called a flock? herd? gaggle? What do you call a group of mages?” he mused

“We may not ally with them, we are just going to have an informational meeting about it,” I said trying for comfort, “Would you support allying with the Templar’s instead?” I questioned

“Well in Kirkwall, the Templar's also went mad… so no, I think I’d be just as nervous if it was the other way ‘round,” he replied shrugging

“I sit in agreement with you, I don’t think I like either of our options really, but they are the only options we have so… what do you do?”

Flissa brought our food and we ate in silence, contemplating what else…

After a bath and crafting a new pair of daggers, I wondered into the war room.

“It’s about time” Cassandra said with her usual humph of disgust

“I had… preparations,” I replied, “What do we know of Redcliff?”

Not surprising, it was Leilana who spoke up

“Redcliff is a small town in the Hinterlands, home to Arl Teagan. I spent a great deal of time there while traveling with the Hero of Ferelden. Then, the Arl was Eamon (Teagan’s brother) he aided us in the final battle against the Archdemon. Today, Queen Anora has given sanctuary to the rebel mages within the town. Grand Enchanter Fiona is the leader of this rebellion, as you know.”

She stopped talking and silence stretched within the room. I realized I was waiting for her to continue. Something about the way she spoke made everything seem like a story.

“Thank you Leliana, I will take Solas, Varric and Cassandra with me to Redcliff. Let’s leave in one hour, it will be a long trip across the Hinterlands,” I said then headed for the door.

Cassandra and Josephine beat me to the exit, hurrying to their tasks.

“A moment Herald?” Cullen asked

“Of course, Commander,” I said pausing at the door

Cullen stepped up close to me, placing a hand on my arm. “Please be careful, this could be a trap,” he said

I heard Leliana’s girlish giggle, “I’ll let you two speak in private,” she said before sneaking out the door.

What is this? Does everyone think I am doing the Commander? He must have had the same thought because his face turned that adorable shade of fuchsia. “it just…  uh it seems odd that the Grand Enchanter happened to be in Val Royaeux… it screams a set up. I don’t want to… I mean, the Inquisition can’t lose you, you are our hope,” he stammered, running his hand along the back of his neck.

His concern was genuine and although he spoke for the Inquisition, I could tell he meant it on a more personal level. I placed my hand aside his face, stubble rough under my fingers. “I promise, I will come back to you and to the Inquisition,” I said sounding very confident.

He turned his head, so my hand was over his lips. Giving my palm a kiss, “please do that,” he said, before leaving.

The trip across the Hinterlands went smoothly, probably because we already killed everyone. We came across a few groups of Inquisition scouts collecting supplies and some refugees looking for somewhere to seek shelter. We stayed of the Dusklight camp with the plan to head for Redcliff the next morning. The mood within our little party was relaxed, the four of us had been traveling together since the beginning and were familiar with each other’s patterns. Cassandra and Varric shot banter back and forth, I swear if anyone should be “knocking boots” it’s those two. Solas was silent. I road next to the elven mage and listened. This was the first journey through the Hinterlands, where I didn’t hear fighting or see random piles of dead bodies lying around. I felt a sense of pride at how we brought some peace back to the area.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48294555652/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48294554837/in/dateposted-public/)


	28. Redcliff Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redcliff is not as it seems

* * *

 

It took us a couple hours to cover the stretch between Dusklight and Redcliff village. As we approached, my mark shot to life, queuing us into a nearby rift. It happened to be right at the gate to the little town. Demon’s came spilling forth as we approached, their movement was off though. They went from moving in slow motion to fast forward. Thankfully they died just the same as others. I reached out to the rift, searching for the torn edges of the veil, some were there, and others seemed to jump from my grasp just before I had ahold.

Once it was closed Solas informed us that the Veil felt thinner here than in Haven. Something was going on in this quaint little town.

“We spread the word the Inquisition was coning but you should know, now one here was expecting us,” the approaching scout explained

“Not even Grand Enchanter Fiona?” I asked, Cullen’s words chiming in my head.

“If she was, she hasn’t told anyone. We have arranged use of the tavern for negations,” he said

At that moment a young elven mage came running up the path towards us.

“Agents of the Inquisition, My apologies! Magister Alexius is in charge now but hasn’t arrived. He is expected shortly,” he said between gasping breaths. They really didn’t expect us.

“You can speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the meantime,” he continued, “You’ll find her in the tavern.”

I dismissed the scout and we made our way into Redcliff. As we passed, locals were whispering of the Inquisition’s handy work. There was even an older woman, telling stories of young Warden Alistair, who apparently grew up here. And the Hero of Ferelden, who saved the town from hordes of undead.  

We entered the small tavern called the Gull and Lantern and were met by Fiona.

“Welcome agents of the Inquisition,” she said, “what has brought you to Redcliff?”

“We are here because you invited us, back in Val Royaeux” I said

“You must be mistaken, I haven’t been to the capital since before the conclave,” she said with a small smile

“Well that’s odd because someone who looks exactly like you invited us here,” I added

“That is strange,” she said, “Whomever or whatever brought you here, the situation has changed. The free mages have already pledged themselves to the service of the Tevinter Imperium.”

Cassandra piped in, “An alliance with Tevinter, do you not fear all of Thedas turning against you?”

“Andraste’s ass, I’m trying to think of a single worse thing you could have done… I’ve got nothing,” this from Varric.

“I understand you are afraid, but you deserve better than slavery to Tevinter,” Solas added

Good thing I haven’t shared my origin yet, I can see they’d have very different opinions of me if I had.

“As one indentured to a Magister, I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you,” Fiona said, defeat in her voice.

“If you cannot speak with us, who can?” I asked

However, my answer walked in the door behind us. He looked the classic Magister, with the high cowl and haughty aura. I’d place him in his late forties with dark hair and eyes.

“Welcome, my friends, I apologize for the delay,” he said

Fiona stepped forward, “Agents of the Inquisition, allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius,” she said. The name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it, probably one of Halward’s contacts.

Stepping in front of me he gave a slight nod. “The southern mages are under my command,” he said, “and you are the survivor, the one from the fade... Interesting.”

“Pleased to me you Magister Alexius,” I said extending my hand, “my name is Arya Trevelyan, if you are leading the mages now, then let’s talk. I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”

Grabbing my hand gently, he placed a kiss on the back of it, “It is always a pleasure to meet someone reasonable, my lady, especially amongst our current company,” he said, eyeing the gathering crowd.

Alexius motioned toward one of the small tables. As we took are seats, he looked to one of his companions. “Felix, would you send for a scribe, please?” he said

A young man stepped forward, the same dark hair and eyes as Alexius. “Pardon my manners, my friends,” Alexius said, “my son Felix,” he introduced.

“I’m not surprised you’re here. Containing the Breach is not a feat that many could even attempt,” Alexius said, “no telling how many mages would be needed for such an ambitious endeavor.”

“Does that mean you will lend your mages to our cause,” I asked

“There will have to be…” but his attention turned behind me, worry filling his features.

I turned to follow his gaze and saw Felix stepping toward me looking unwell. I stepped to the young man’s side just as he fell forward, leaning against me.

“My lady, I’m so sorry, forgive me,” Felix said

“Are you alright?” Alexius asked rushing to his son’s side

“I’m fine Father,” he replied, “just felt faint for a moment.”

Alexius put his arm around the younger man’s shoulders helping him to his feet.

“Come, I’ll get your powders,” Alexius said, “Please excuse me friends, we will have to continue this another time. I will send word to the Inquisition.”

“I’m sorry to trouble everyone,” Felix said as he, Alexius and Fiona left the tavern.

Once they were out of sight, I looked at the small parchment Felix had placed in my hand when he fell against me.

“Come to the Chantry, you are in danger,” I read it allowed

“Ooo very mysterious,” Varric said

“We’ll be careful, but we need to figure out what is going on here,” I said feeling apprehensive.

“we should report back to Haven,” Cassandra said, nodding toward the door.

“There is no time for that,” I replied, glancing around, hoping no one heard her.

Several of the mages were loitering around the tavern. One of them came up to me, “I remember you, you were a couple years ahead of me at the Circle, the perfect apprentice,” she said spitefully

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember you,” I said feeling a little ashamed

“Of course, you don’t,” she spat, “I’m Linnea, but you were always too high and mighty to associate with us.”

“I’m sorry for upsetting you?” I offered but she just humphed and walked away.

Shortly after that a monotone voice spoke behind us, “Excuse me, Inquisition?” said a man standing in the corner, “The Magister does not like my kind here, I am an alchemist, surely the Inquisition has a use for my skills,” he said.

I could tell from his voice that this man was a Tranquil, “Of course, the Inquisition accepts everyone,” I said

“It is good to know that one’s skills are seen as useful too others,” the man said, “I will see you at Haven.”

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48294452621/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48294452121/in/dateposted-public/)


	29. Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deciding against Cassandra's advice, Arya makes an executive decision leading to an unexpected consequence.

* * *

 

The Redcliff Chantry wasn’t much further into the village than the tavern. “Are you sure about this?” Cassandra asked, “Perhaps we should go back to Haven first?” she questioned again.

“Seeker, some things must be taken on chance,” Solas’ voice was calm, and it seemed to help her.

Standing before the Chantry door, I took a deep breath. As I reached for the handle my mark flared to life, there was a rift inside.

We drew our weapons in preparation and I opened the door, eerie green light filled the darkness. The sounds of arching lightening and screeching demons filled the space. Someone was already inside. We leaped straight to action. Raising my hand, the mark stretched to the rift.

Solas began calling on the forces of winter to freeze the demons allowing Cassandra to chop them to pieces with her claymore. I couldn’t make out the other person through all the dancing lights but knew whomever it was, they were a mage and on our side.

I was in the middle of the Chantry when the last demon fell, directly below the rift, melding the tendrils together, my back to the others.

“It’s about time you showed up,” came a voice that sent my stomach fluttering. A voice I’d never forget, it was Dorian.

 “Fascinating, how does that work exactly?” he asked turning to face me. Our eyes met and in an instant, he was pulling me into his arms. Cassandra, Varric and Solas couldn’t move fast enough to counter his fade step. We all froze but for very different reasons.

“Get your hands off the Herald,” Casandra demanded sword at Dorian’s back

“One movement and you have an arrow in the pretty face,” Varric said from my back

“Whoa now, you want me to let her go or hold still… I can’t do both,” Dorian said winking at me

“Drop your weapons,” Solas said, “the Herald knows this man.”

“Herald?” Cassandra questioned

“Yes, it’s okay, Dorian is a… friend,” I said blushing

“Is that what I am Little Amatus, a friend,” Dorian whispered in my ear then turned to my companions.

“Dorian of house Pavus, most recently of Minrathous, pleased to meet you all,” he said with a dramatic bow.

“Another Tevinter, we cannot trust him, Herald,” Cassandra scoffed

“Suspicious friends, you have here Arya, are they unawares that your origin is the same as mine,” he asked eyeing me

“The Herald hails from the Circle at Ostwick Sir, who are you to address her so informally?” Cassandra asked

“Ah yes, that she does,” he answered smiling knowingly at me, “the lady and I go way back, before the Circle.”

Cassandra looked to me for confirmation and I nodded

“Magister Alexius used to me my mentor, so my assistance should be valuable, as I’m sure you can imagine,” he said changing the focus back to business

“You’re betraying your mentor because?” Varric asked

“Alexius WAS my mentor, which means he is not any longer,” Dorian clarified, “Look, you must know there is danger, let’s start with Alexius claiming allegiance from the mages out from under you.”

“It’s almost as if by magic, right? Well that’s exactly right! In order to reach Redcliff before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself,” he explained further

“That is fascinating if true, and almost certainly dangerous,” Solas said

“The rift you closed here, you saw how is twisted around itself, sped some things up and slowed others down?” Dorian asked, “the magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable and it’s unraveling the world.”

“You’re asking us to take a lot on faith” Cassandra said

Dorian sighed in exasperation, “I know what I’m talking about, I helped him develop it when I was his apprentice, but we could never get it to work, it was pure theory.”

“What I don’t understand is why he is doing it, just to gain a few hundred lackeys, doesn’t make sense,” he mused

That’s when Felix walked in. “He didn’t do it for them,” Felix said, “my father has joined a cult, Tevinter supremacist’s calling themselves Venatori. I don’t know why he joined but I do know one thing, whatever he’s done for them, he’s done it to get to you,” he said pointing at me

“All this for me,” I said smiling, “a here I didn’t get Alexius anything.”

Dorian’s rich chuckle filled the air around us, “get him a fruit basket, everyone loves those.”

“Knowing you are his target is the first step in turning his strategy to your favor,” Felix said, “I must get back before he gets suspicious, good luck.”

“Felix, try not to die,” Dorian called as his friend left the Chantry. Then turning to me he let out a growl of anger, “whatever his reasoning is for being obsessed with you, I promise I won’t let him have you.” Dorian pulled me into an embrace, “I can’t stay here long, Alexius doesn’t know, and I can’t risk being caught but I need to speak to you privately, meet me at the tavern tonight?”

“I think I can help with that,” Solas said, “I can conjure a spirit double of Arya, it will seem as if she leaves Redcliff with us and draw attention away from the tavern.”

“We cannot leave the Herald alone,” Cassandra retorted.

“She will not be alone, Cassandra, and we will meet her at the Crossroads,” he said with a comforting look. “Now change into something less conspicuous,” he tossed me a cotton robe, matching the one worn by the mages.

We all gave him a questioning look. “An apostate never knows when he may need to pose as a Circle mage,” he said with a shrug.

Dorian excused himself and headed to the room he rented at the Gull and Lantern. I switched into the robe and handed Solas my boned leather corset. “Well,” Varric said, “I can’t say you’ll go unnoticed but at least they will assume you’re one of them.”

“What do you mean?” I questioned

Solas cleared his throat, “you have a great deal more curves than I, Herald, the robe doesn’t hide them.”

Looking down, I noticed that the blue cotton fit snugly at my hips and breasts. It was actually very flattering, much more so than the Ostwick robes. I tied my hair in a high pony tail and hoped that was enough to hide my identity.

Solas, Cassandra, Varric and spirit me left the Chantry, made a quick stop at the tavern for some supplies and left the town. I left the Chantry as instructed, a while after them, and made a round down at the docks. Nobody seemed to recognize me as the Herald of Andraste without my entourage. In fact, other than a couple men checking me out, nobody payed me any heed. It was a nice change. Once the sun set turned the sky purple, I headed into the tavern and up the stairs.

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48294553802/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48294453406/in/dateposted-public/)


	30. Is This My Life?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things seem to good to be true, could this be one of those times? Arya and Dorian spend some time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut and angst, you can skip this chapter and not miss too much of the story line.  
> ALSO: Pictures at the end: I know these are from Skyhold, but I needed something to fit here. Pretend they're in Redcliff.  
> PS don't look if you don't want to see a$$

* * *

 

Dorian’s door was closed, I paused outside of it. I could feel him on the other side, his necromancy tasted earthy and mine sparked at the familiar taste of it. His arms grabbed me, pulling me right through the door without opening it. One arm encircled my waist and the other pulled the daggers from their sheaths at my back, tossing them to the ground with a clang.

He trailed his fingers down my face and neck breathing me in. I could feel his mana, gently tasting mine, matching the caress of his fingertips. “You have grown very powerful, Little Amatus, it’s intoxicating,” his voice came out gravely.

I pushed it into him, twined my mana around his, a dance meant to entrance and seduce. He reacted by spinning me, so my back was against his front. “Now, now be careful the games you play,” his breath was hot at my back, causing me to shiver as he slowly lowered the zipper of my robe.

I wasn’t sure if I should stop him or go with it, Dorian and I had never been intimate, at least not completely. We teased and played, even had metaphysical intercourse with our mana but never physically.

My robe fell to the floor, a pile of cloth at our feet, leaving me completely bare under his gaze for the first time.

“tsk, tsk, it’s almost as if you expected to be disrobed,” he said commenting on my lack of small cloths, “Not that I mind.”

He called electricity to his fingertips, following along with his gaze, down my spine, across my hips, up my stomach, ending between my breasts. The small sparks didn’t hurt but caused my skin to jump as he moved. He paused there and raised his gaze to meet mine, the forest green of his eyes sparkled with electricity.

“I claim to have an amazing imagination, but I must say that even in all its majesty, it didn’t do you justice.”

He brought his hand under my chin, lifting it in better alignment with his, just as he used to do, right before kissing me. My breath was coming quickly, the anticipation building. Why wasn’t he taking me? I could feel him, hard against my stomach but he was stalling, why?

“Dorian?” his name escaped my lips, it came out breathy, carrying my need heavy on it.

“Arya, I… I haven’t, I mean I’ve been… Eegods,” he said, stumbling over his words like Cullen

He was getting frustrated and I didn’t understand why. He what… hasn’t been with someone for a while? It doesn’t matter.

I curbed my insecurity and decided to take the plunge before the moment was ruined. Placing my hand on his cheek I brought his attention from his mumbling, “Dorian, it doesn’t matter,” I said kissing him.

At first, he didn’t respond, I started to pull away feeling embarrassed at my forwardness, but he stopped me.

I felt the moment he released whatever was holding him back. When he claimed my lips again, he was a force of nature, engulfing me, an unbridled storm.

I reached up and unclipped the buckle holding his robe in place, it clattered to the floor. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his hips, he groaned at the feeling of me, slick and warm and ready.

  
Climbing onto the bed, he broke the kiss hovering just above my lips, “and the Maker wept as Andraste’s righteous Herald took the evil Tevinter Magister to bed,” he said, then plunged himself deep inside of me.

* * *

  
I awoke to a weight laying across my chest. Dorian was sprawled over me, blankets kicked to the ground exposing the naked length of his toned backside. His usual perfectly sculpted hair was in tousled disarray from sleep and sex. I knew wiggling out from under him would disrupt him so instead I just laid still and listened to his soft snoring.

  
Would this have been my life, if I wouldn’t been taken to the Circle?

Or perhaps the mundaneness of married life would have worn on us, turned us to an unhappy, drab, politically entangled, mass of wrongness?

  
Calling the green light of healing to my fingertips, I traced the scratches I had left down his back and watched as the skin mended and redness faded away. As great as it felt to have him with me, like this, I felt a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach.

Whatever this could be, I had doubts of it happening. Thedas’ survival was resting on my shoulders, holding me down, drowning me in duty. Duty doesn’t make room for love. I dozed back to sleep, silent tears running down my cheeks.

  
The next time I woke up I was alone and not surprised. Dorian had already said he couldn’t stay in Redcliff. Sitting up I wrapped myself in a white silken robe that was hanging in the wardrobe. As I searched the room for my belongings, I saw a staff leaning against the wall. Maybe he hadn’t left. I busied myself cleaning up, with the small washbasin in the bathroom. After washing my hair and body I called fire to dry myself, put on the blue cotton robe Solas had given me and tied my hair in a loose side braid.

  
Just as I finished, I heard the door open. Dorian peeked his head in, smile beaming. “Ah good, I brought food and wine,” he said. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I saw the plates of fresh fruit, cheese, bread and sliced meat. My stomach let out a loud growl. “Are they not feeding you Amatus? I will have to remind them that even a religious icon must eat,” he said with a chuckle, setting the plates on the small table.

  
“Hah, Andraste’s Herald? It’s ridiculous,” I said, “I’m sure they’d rethink that title, if they actually knew me.”

“So… you haven’t told them that you were raised in the Imperium than?”

  
“Well, they never asked, and I never disclosed,” I shrugged, “they know I was in the Ostwick Circle before the rebellion and just assumed that I grew up there.”

  
“Your family hasn’t mentioned it?” he asked

  
“No, mama and papa just want me to be safe, they won’t say anything that could be a threat to that.”  
“What about your powers?”

  
“Meaning necromancy? I haven’t used it, not since…” my words trailed off

  
“What happened, Arya?” he said with concern

  
“When our Circle was taken… Templar's came and rebel mages, they killed everyone… even the children. Meric and I tried to escape, I raised them…the bodies of my friends… we were unarmed and outnumbered. I told them to fight for me and they did. Dorian, I saw through their eyes and watched as they sacrificed themselves…. but it didn’t matter…

  
Meric and I got separated and the Knight Captain, he used Holy Smite and I was gone. He held me captive for weeks, had his way with me and watched as his lackeys did the same.”

  
Dorian pulled me into his chest, sobs wracking my body, he held me, comforted me until my breathing calmed.

  
“Arya, who did this to you?” he asked

  
I shook my head, “I don’t know his name, the Templar's always just called him Captain.”

  
“What about the person with you? Meric? What happened to him? Would he know?"

  
The sobs started again, I hadn’t spoken of Meric to anyone. I hadn’t really grieved his death even.

  
“Arya, please talk to me?” he cooed

  
“Meric is dead, he was at the Temple,” I looked into Dorian’s eyes, “that’s why I was there, looking for him, I heard that the Templar’s were convening at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I thought if they survived the Circle, they would have gone there.”

  
“This Meric was a Templar?” he questioned

I nodded again, “but he wasn’t like the others, Meric was kind and…”

  
“You loved him,” Dorian commented, “were you two involved?”

  
“We were close and yes I loved him, we were intimate but only the once, the night the Circle was attacked, that’s why we survived... we were hiding… a Circle’s Senior Enchanter and Knight Captain… quite the scandal.”

  
“Are you sure he was at the Temple?” he asked

  
“yes, I saw him, but he was different, acted different. He was going to execute me, but Cullen stopped him.”

  
“Cullen?”

  
“Commander Cullen, he leads the Inquisition’s forces.”

  
“Arya, what happened at the Temple?”

  
I shook my head again, “I don’t remember, there was a gala the night before the peace talks were supposed to happen, that’s when I saw Meric. After the party, I went to sleep but that’s all I remember, everything is foggy, other than being chased by something and reaching out to a silhouette of a woman…”

  
“And what then, you just woke up with that thing on your hand?”

  
“Yea basically, I attended the gala, went to bed, then woke up chained to the Chantry floor in Haven with this,” I raised my arm and let the green light sputter.

  
“They had you chained?” he asked

  
“They thought I caused the explosion killing the Divine,” I explained

  
“But now they hail you as a holy symbol?” he sounded confused

  
“They’re a fickle folk, these southerners,” I said with a smile

  
“what about that elven fellow? He seems… well, he seems off, but like he’d have a mind of his own?”

  
“Solas is different than the others, that’s for sure. He has an agenda of his own that I am unaware of. He claims to be an innocent apostate with extensive knowledge of the fade, lending his aid because the fate of the world affects everyone, no matter their origin,” I said the last part mimicking his smug tone

  
“Right... that’s a load of horse shit,” he said

  
“Yep,” I agreed,” but he does know about the fade because he is Somniari,”

  
“What!? Really? Did he tell you?” Dorian asked drumming his fingers together under his chin.

  
“No, he didn’t tell me, but he showed me.”

  
“Wait, you went dream walking with a Somniari?” he asked

  
“yes, is that bad?” I asked

  
“It’s impossible unless you are one as well,” he answered

“I didn’t control any dreams, I just tagged along with him through my own dreams.”

  
“What about not dreams, but memories or echoes of the past?” he asked

  
I thought back to the first trip Solas and I took, that wasn’t a dream at all, just a stroll through time.  
“Well he did take me on a trip to the past. We were sleeping and he came into my mind, said he wanted to show me something. So, we walked Haven but not in this time. He showed me Solona’s trip to Haven back during the blight. It was so real, like I was there with them, but I couldn’t interact, just observe,” I explained

 

“Odd,” Dorian said, “Perhaps it’s something to do with the mark.”  
“Who is this Solona?” he asked

  
I laughed, “you have no idea how nice it is to hear that.”  
“Solona Amell, the Hero of Ferelden, the mage who killed the archdemon during the last blight. It seems she made quite the impact on several of the people in my inner-circle.” I said voice bitter

  
“Why does it bother you?” he asked

  
“Well, she and I look similar, we are cousins you see, and people either think I’m her or wish I was. I already have this whole Herald of Andraste/fate of the world thing going on… the last thing I need is to also be compared to her.”

  
“Perhaps, they are comparing the circumstances not the individuals?” he stated raising his eyebrows  
“I know a little of the story, she was also a mage, taken away from her tower and tossed a bone called “the fate of the world.” People doubted her and fought to prove her inadequate, but she prevailed and saved the day.”

  
He had a point and a perspective I hadn’t thought of, maybe we aren’t so different.

  
“In the end, it doesn’t matter, to the Herald’s advisers… I am a tool to them, not a person. The chance of me living through this is slim,” I said raising my hand, “I have a duty to the people, to save them, to be their hope but outside of that… I don’t matter.”

  
Dorian grabbed my flickering hand, “don’t settle yourself to that fate Arya, you may be the only one who can close the rifts, but you are more than this,” he said lifting my hand. “We will close this hole in the sky, then we will figure out how to keep you alive.”

  
His optimism was nice to hear, whether founded in reality or not, who knows. He kissed me then, pulling me into his lap, his lips were soft and full, and I let myself melt into their comforting embrace.

* * *

 

  



	31. Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is probably a trap but Arya and her team go diving in for the good of Thedas.

* * *

 

I made it back to Haven, the same day a message came from Alexius. He requested me to meet with him in Redcliff castle to finish our negotiations. Asking me to come alone, to the castle. is an obvious trap. According to Leliana, “His letter is so complementary, we are sure he wishes to kill you.”

“We don’t have the manpower to take the castle,” Cullen was saying “either we find another way in or give up this nonsense and go get the Templar's.”

Cullen was really against working with the mages to close the breach.

“Redcliff is in the hands of a Magister, we cannot allow this to stand,” Cassandra was saying, always going for practicality.

“Redcliff castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden, if you go in there, you’ll die, and we will lose the only means we have of closing the rifts. I won’t allow it,” Cullen argued

“And if we don’t even try to meet Alexius, we lose the mages and leave a hostile foreign party on our doorstep,” Leliana countered

“We cannot assault the castle anyway, an Orlesian Inquisition army marching into Ferelden would provoke a war,” Josephine added tapping her pencil in time with her word.

“The Magister has out played us,” Cullen added

“We can’t just give up, there has to be something we can do,” I rebutted.

Cassandra backed me up, “we will not accept defeat now, there must be a solution.”

“Is there no other way inside, the sewer, a water tunnel, there must be something?’ I asked out loud

“Wait, there is something,” Leliana stated, “an escape route for the family, we used it to take back the castle when it was overrun with undead during the blight. It’s not big enough for our troops but could accommodate a few scouts.”

“Too risky, the agents will be discovered well before they meet the Magister,” Cullen said

“Not if we have a distraction,” Leliana said with a smirk, “perhaps the envoy Alexius wants so badly?”

“Focus their attention on the Herald, while we take out the Venatori... it’s risky but could work,” Cullen said

At that moment the council room doors burst open allowing for Dorian to stride through, being trailed by an agent. “Fortunately, you’ll have help,” Dorian said.

“I’m sorry Commander, this man said he has pertinent information, he wouldn’t wait,” the agent said, out of breath from chasing after Dorian.

They all looked from Dorian to me then back to Dorian.

“Your spies will never get past Alexius’ magic without my help, so if you’re going after him, I’m coming with you,” he said

Cullen looked back at me, “this plan puts you in the most danger, we can’t in good conscious order you to do this.”

“It would be rude to turn down such a welcoming invitation, now I just need a fruit basket,” I said winking at Dorian, who belted out a chuckle that bounced off the brick walls of the small room.

* * *

 

Upon entering the main hall, we were met by an emissary, “The invitation was for Lady Trevelyan alone?” the blond man stated. Cassandra hmphed behind me, “preposterous,” she said.

“Where I go, they go” I replied

The man just started at me, waiting for me to submit, which wasn’t going to happen. We stared at each other for awhile before I nodded toward the throne room “announce us,” I demanded

The man sullenly turned and headed farther inside, we followed.

Soldiers in white masked uniforms lined the room, Venatori I assumed. In the typical dramatic display of Tevinter, Alexius sat in a throne atop a raised platform, Felix was by his side and a roaring fire acted as a backdrop. “Agents of the Inquisition,” the blond man announced as we stepped forward.

“My friend, it is so good to see you again,” Alexius said raising and standing at the edge of the platform, the illusion of grander building. “I’m sure we can work out an agreement that is equitable to all parties,” he said

Fiona stepped from the corner, I hadn’t even noticed her, “are we mages to have no voice in deciding our fate?” she asked

“Fiona, you would not have handed your followers over to my care if you did not trust me with their lives,” he shook his head disapprovingly

“If the Grand Enchanter wishes to be part of these talks, then I invite her as a guest of the Inquisition,” I stated, thankful for my political training.

She nodded her thank you as Alexius turned, I won that round. “The Inquisition needs mages, and I have them,” he stated, “what will you offer in return?”

“The Inquisition has many supporters within Orlesian nobility, I’m sure we can find suitable compensation,” I said

“I’m not sure what the Orlesian nobility have to offer that I don’t already possess,” he countered. He had me there, thankfully my rebuttal was interrupted by Felix.

“She knows everything father,” he said

“Felix! What have you done,” Alexius asked

“Your son is concerned that you’re involved in something terrible,” I said advocating for the young man.

“Hah, says the thief, do you think you can turn my son against me?” he says, standing again to seem larger than he really is, “You come into my stronghold with your stolen mark, a gift you don’t even understand and think you’re in control!” Alexius was angry now, “You’re nothing but a mistake!”

“If you know so much, enlighten me, tell me what this mark on my hand is for” I insisted

“It belongs to your betters, you couldn’t even begin to understand it’s purpose,” he spat

“Father, listen to yourself,” Felix said stepping to his father’s side, “do you know what you sound like?”

Dorian chose that moment to make his entrance, “exactly like the villainous cliché’ everyone expects us to be.”

Alexius’ eyes narrowed at his former apprentice, “Dorian, I gave you a chance to be part of this and you turned me down. The Elder One has power you wouldn’t believe, he will raise the Imperium from its own ashes.”

“That’s who you serve? The one who killed the Divine? Is he a mage?” I asked

“Soon he will become a God,” Alexius answered, voice dark, “He will make the world bow to mages once again.”

Dorian stepped forward, “Alexius, this is exactly the thing you and I never wanted to let happen, why would you support this?”

“Father,” Felix said, “Stop this, let the southern mages go and let’s go home.”

Alexius turned to his son, desperation on his face, “This is the only way, he can save you,” he said, “the Elder One promised, if I undo the mistake at the Temple…”

“I’m going to die, father, you need to accept that,” Felix interrupted

“Venatori, seize them,” Alexius ordered, pointing directly at me but it was too late, the Venatori agents fell to the floor as our scouts slit their throats.

Alexius pulled an amulet from his robe, “You are a mistake, you never should have…” he mumbled. The amulet floated in the air, green light emanating round it.

“No,” Dorian called shooting a bolt of electricity at Alexius.

A ginormous rift filled the room, green light growing brighter and brighter than nothing.

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48303739402/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48303607271/in/dateposted-public/)


	32. What do you do when you have seen the worst?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desperate to get the horrible visions from her mind, Arya goes to the one persons he knows can help. But before that can happen, duty calls.

* * *

 

I was pacing in front of Solas’ hut, it had been days since Dorian and I returned from that nightmare of a future, but sleep eluded me still. Red lyrium and Leliana’s tortured face haunted my dreams.

I thought maybe Solas could stop them, just for one night, before I lost my mind. Josephine and Cullen kept giving me that expectant look. They want my report on what happened. Dorian disappeared right after returning, he needed “time to process,” which is completely understandable.

I heard his door creak open, which broke me from my musings, “Herald?” he questioned.

“I told you not to call me that!” I yelled

“My apologies, can I help you with something?” he said voice its usual smugness

I looked around, making sure nobody was listening, “dreams, I can’t get rid of them,” I said looking at him, hoping he’d get my request.

“I see, come in,” he said, moving aside so I could pass.

“I can shield you, if that is your request but you must know that I will also see what haunts you and I cannot act as barrier indefinitely, you will need to work through it on your own.” he explained.

I nodded, do I want him to see what I saw? He’d see himself, lyrium protruding from within, he’d see his own death.

“You will be there, and it’s not pretty, will you be okay… seeing yourself?” I asked

He nodded, “if it becomes difficult, I will wake you.”

“Okay, then yes, I need to rest so I can be strong enough to close the Breach... gaining allegiance from the mages won’t help if I am too weak to channel their power,” I said

“That is accurate, I will come to you tonight,” he said with a nod.

* * *

 

With a heavy sigh I exited, making my way to the war room where my advisers were waiting for me.

Stepping through the Chantry doors, I was met by bickering. Shaking my head, “at least they are still alive,” I thought to myself.

“It’s not up for debate! There will be abominations among the mages, and we must be prepared,” Cullen was yelling 

“If we resend the offer of alliance it makes the Inquisition seem incompetent at best, tyrannical at worst,” Josephine was yelling back.

Cullen’s angry glare fell to me, “What were you thinking, turning mages loose with no oversight… the veil is torn open!”

This was Cullen the Templar talking, not Cullen the Commander.

“Cullen, we need them to close the Breach, it’s not going to work if we make enemies out of them,” my eyes pleaded his understanding.

“Arya, I know we need them for the Breach, but they could do just as much damage as the demons themselves, how is one better than the other?”

“Not all mages turn into abominations Cullen, take off that Templar hat and put on the Commander of the Inquisition’s for the Maker’s sake,” I spat at him.

“Stop arguing,” Cassandra yelled, louder than the rest of us “We cannot afford to second guess our own people, the sole purpose of the Herald’s mission was to gain the mages aid and that was accomplished.”

“The voice of pragmatism speaks, and here I was just starting to enjoy the circular arguments,” Dorian’s mellow tone washed over us as he stepped out of nowhere. Tension eased within me, I was afraid he’d be gone for good.

Cullen shot him a death glare in reply to his mocking.

“Closing the Breach is all that matters,” Cassandra said, her face setting in stubborn lines.

“Dorian and I saw the consequence of us failing… let’s make sure we don’t” I confirmed.

“We should look into the things you saw in this future, assassination of Empress Celene, a demon army, red lyrium infecting the world,” Leliana stated, you could see the plot unfolding behind her light blue eyes.

“One battle at a time,” Cullen interrupted “It will take time to organize our troops and the mage recruits for assaulting the Breach, let’s take this to the war room.”

Cullen’s gaze fell on Dorian and me, “Join us, none of this means anything without that mark on your hand.”

He was smiling but something about the way he said it, told me he felt the complete opposite.

“And here I was thinking I’d sit out the assault on the Breach, take a nap, maybe go for a walk,” I said smiling, trying to ease the tension, we needed to get along despite our differences.

“You know what they say,” Cullen shrugged, “no rest for the wicked.”

“I’ll skip the war council, but I would like to see this Breach up close if you don’t mind?” Dorian asked.

“So, you’re staying!” I couldn’t hide my excitement at his offer.

“Oh, didn’t I mention? The south is so charming and rustic,” he said, “I adore it to pieces,” he finished with a wink at me.

“There is no one I’d rather be stranded in time with, future or present,” I said with a smile.

“Of course there isn’t, no one else is as handsome or charming as I,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. Then looking around at my advisers, “not everyone from Tevinter is evil, some of us have been fighting for eons against our bad reputation,”

“Alright than, I will start preparing our people,” Cullen said with a nod before heading toward the back of the Chantry.

“Cullen,” I said trotting to catch up with his long strides, “I need to speak to you, in private, are you busy?” His posture tensed, a look akin to fear spread through his face. Was he that upset about my choice to offer alliance to the mages or is it me he is put off by? He behavior confused me, like I missed something between us.

He composed himself, clearing his throat and closing his eyes, “yes, I am busy,” he said purposely avoiding my gaze. I was overwhelmed by emotions, what could I have done so horrible he won’t talk to me or even look at me. I felt this intense urge to fix whatever was wrong between us.

Reaching out, I placed my hand on his arm, “It’s urgent” I said. Something else crossed his face… was that sadness? I didn’t want to give him a chance to object, so I turned and headed to the private room across from Josephine’s, hoping he’d follow.

Once I opened the door, I immediately regretted my choice of meeting rooms. Memories from the conclave ball came crashing like waves. This was the room he whisked me away too, I remembered the curtains and the feeling of the rough floor under my skin. Tears came to my eyes, sitting but refusing to spill down my cheeks. Who is that man and where is he? My sadness turned to anger, it doesn’t matter, I placed my hand over my tummy as it knotted with my loss of dignity. He doesn’t even respect me enough to tell me his name, I shouldn’t have lowered myself to that level. I will never be a man’s vessel again. The door creaked open and I heard the heavy footsteps of armored boots. Cullen had followed.

My back was to him, but his presence filled the room. I took a deep breath and turned. He was closer than I expected, I had to look up to meet his golden gaze. His eyes were heavy with unspoken words and he reached out, calloused fingers wiping the lone tear from my cheek. This was not what I expected, and I was caught off guard by his tenderness.

“You were unhappy with my choice to bring the mages in as equal partners,” I said it as a statement not a question, “Does that mean you also have a problem with me as well?”

His face fell at my words, then he pulled me into an embrace. His chest was a dichotomy between cold armor and warm feathers, he smelled of steel, Elderflower and blade oil.

“Of course not, in my past I… well… I have come to treat mages with distrust, often without cause. I need to do better, as Commander, I must put trust in our cause, as well as, those who help us meet it.” he pulled back to look at my face.

“You are… unlike anyone…,” he was stumbling over his words, but his eyes didn’t waiver from mine, “Arya, I trust you and the choices you make for the good of us all. I need to work harder to manage my biases, thank you for calling them as they are.” He lent forward and placed a kiss on my forehead, then left and I was alone with my thoughts and memories.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48303902757/in/dateposted-public/)


	33. To Good Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya gets the rest she needs and a little more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tevene Translations:  
> Vishante kaffas- “you shit on my tongue”  
> Incaensor- derogatory slang for a magic-using slave

 

* * *

 It was late and I was more exhausted then I knew was possible when I finally made it to my hut. I stepped inside and found Solas waiting for me. He was sitting at the desk reading, using his thumb to hold his place he closed the book and glanced up, “I wasn’t sure if they’d ever let you free,” he said with a soft chuckle, “I brought food.”

He waved his hands over a decent spread displayed upon the small desk. “Thank you, I’m starving,” I said filling one of the small wooden plates with fresh fruit, warm bread and dried ram meat. He handed me a glass and I took a swig through a mouth full of food. I had expected alcohol, but it was some type of tea.

“To help with sleep,” he said raising a matching glass and clanging it against mine, “to good dreams.” After we finished eating, Solas stood and shot a ball of flame to the water basin in the corner, warming it.

“Make yourself comfortable, it will also help with sleep, I will wait outside until you are ready.”

I did as he instructed, cleaned up and put on fresh smalls, before crawling into bed. My eyes were heavy, the tea, food and comfort of being clean doing their job.

“Ready,” I called and Solas came in, closing and locking the door behind him. He took the same seat as before at the desk and picked up his book again. “Let yourself rest, I will join you once you are asleep,” his voice was low, its calmness spread over me as I dozed off.

**\----------------Solas POV----------------------**

I heard her breathing become even, signaling that sleep had come. There was a soft knock on the door, it was Farren, I carefully opened it, telling the young elf girl to stay quiet. Together, we cleaned up the food and bathing tub, then I sent the girl away with the dirty dishes, they would need to be cleaned in the tavern.

“The Herald will be indisposed for the rest of tonight and tomorrow, please don’t worry about tending to her, I will handle it,” Farren nodded in acknowledgement of my instructions but her eyes were curious.

After she left, I locked the door, and warded it against interruptions. I removed all my clothing except trousers and slipped into the bed next to her. Laying on my side I faced her, placing my hand aside her cheek.

Her face was relaxed, breathing soft, lips slightly parted. Her innocence and youth showed on her lovely face, she may not be of the People, but I am not so blind as to not notice her beauty. She slings magic forces around with grace and power far beyond her years. Her inquisitive, curious nature, intriguing enough to pull even my attention from the original plan. Her kindness and compassion to all, show me that this world is perhaps not as lost as I thought. If it created one like her, how could it really be of no use… just trash to be disposed of?

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t realize that my hand had drifted from her cheek to the bare skin of her hips. “Shit, I must not allow myself to be distracted,” I pulled my hand back to her face and closed my eyes, let’s see where she is. Sleep came quickly and I found her almost immediately, she was watching something, but the image was blocked by her form.

Stepping to her side I was caught off guard, perhaps she had sensed my thoughts even in her sleep. She was watching the two of us, in an intimate embrace. She felt my presence... “This is odd,” she shrugged. I chuckled at her reaction, not embarrassed just curious. “Yes, well, we are snuggled up together, perhaps proximity?” I said, trying to keep emotion from my voice. She turned to me, sapphire eyes filled with playfulness, “You are very easy on the eyes Solas, why do you hide all that toned muscle beneath bagging cloths?”

I scoffed returning her playful tone, “Shall I change my wardrobe to something more harness like?” She laughed and it rang through the fade around us.

As if her laugh drew the nightmare’s attention, I felt a sudden weight press against us. She felt it too, glancing over my shoulder, “it’s here,” she said, fear drawing all joy from her face. I pulled her against me, burying her face in my chest, shielding her. This was not just a bad dream haunting her but a demon feeding off her fear. I pulled a barrier around Arya, it kept her from being seen or heard but also keep her from seeing or hearing what was happening. “I will be right back, stay here, you are safe,” I demanded, and she nodded.

I called the wolf and felt myself change in both magic and shape. This demon would not make it past Fen’Harel, As its creator, the Veil responds to my will. My paws hit the ground as I ran, throwing barriers up, baring its passage. I chased it back to its home space within the vastness of the fade. I walled it in, trapped it within its own realm, much like I had to my own kind all those years ago. Arya would be safe now and so would any others being haunted by the nightmare.

As I approached, I dropped the barrier from her consciousness, and she ran to me as if my arms were the only safety in this world. Tears were streaming down her face and she was shivering. Gathering her up, I carried her to the space that matched where we slept. Laying her in the bed, I slid in next to her and pulled her against me. Her form molded to mine and even with her a human and me elvhen, my frame engulfed her petite one. “The nightmare is gone, it cannot hurt you anymore,” I whispered in her ear. She eventually stilled and we both let dreamless sleep chase the weariness away.

 “If you don’t open this door, I swear I will burn this hut to the ground to force your hand,” Dorian’s voice pulled me from my slumber. Why was he angry, why couldn’t he get in. My mind was still foggy, not quite remembering the night before. “Solas, this is your last chance,” Dorian yelled.

Solas? What was he talking about? Then I felt movement at my back, an arm release itself from my waist, memories came flooding back. Solas had stayed, to help me sleep. I turned, just as he opened his gray blue eyes. “Shall I release the wards?” he asked, voice heavy with sleep. “I’d rather like to have my hut not burnt to the ground,” I replied

“He’d ware his mana out before he’d break through the wards, may be fun to watch,” Solas chuckled but flung a hand toward the door, saying something elven. The door flickered and then Dorian came stumbling through it, almost falling to the ground. He took one look at the situation, lightening flickering through his eyes “Vishante kaffas Solas,” he yelled then shot a bolt at the elvhen mage.

Solas lifted his arm and the bolt ricocheted back towards Dorian who had to dodge his own attack. “Incaensor,” Dorian yelled and Solas’ mood changed from playful to dark in an instant.

“Dorian, enough” I yelled, before one of them hurt the other, “I am fine, Dorian, you however… “I looked him in the eyes, “that was uncalled for.”

He pulled me into his arms, “I was worried, you know it’s been three days, that he’s had you locked in here.”

“Three days?” I looked at Solas, “You needed the rest Herald,” he said, “They would have had you out closing the Breach and if you weren’t rested… it will be a lot of magic… you could be killed if it is not done correctly.”

I looked between the two men, “you both have my best interests at heart and I appreciate that, I do, but we need to all get a long, we need to trust despite our differences, we need to be a united force if we are to meet the goals lying in our path.”

They both nodded, “I apologize Solas, those words were uncalled for” Dorian said. “And I could have given some notice as to the amount of time she would need,” Solas added.

“Thank you both, now get out of here so I can get changed… we have a Breach to close.”


	34. In Your Heart Shall Burn (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other shoe inevitably falls

* * *

 

The giant swirling mass was no less intimidating this time then it had been the previous time. I stood underneath it, Cassandra and Solas at my side. The mark on my hand lit up, reaching, searching for sustenance.

“Mages!” Cassandra called her voice hailing attention

“Focus past the Herald, let her will draw from you,” Solas added, holding his staff above his head.

I stepped forward against the green mass, it was like stepping through knee deep sand, every small step took so much strength. My hand reached out the marks light arching to the Breach. My strength was waning, then I heard a loud crack as staves all hit the ground in unison.

The immense power of the mages all combined into one entered me. My blood boiled as my own mana moved beneath my skin. The power was raw and chaotic in its beauty, I focused on the torn edges of the Breach and the power coursed through me, finding its target and pulling at it.

There was another BOOM, an explosion knocking us all backwards than the green glow disputed to nothingness. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked to see Cassandra’s relief filled face, “you did it,” she said. Shaking my head, I turned to the people at my back, “we did it!” I called and they all cheered.

* * *

 

Back at Haven, people reveled in our victory. Although it was night Haven was far from quiet. Large fires burned as people danced to the bards’ songs.

Food, drink and love was being shared openly. I watched as the people of the Inquisition, no matter their origin, celebrated for the first time since this all started. The crunch of footsteps in the snow let me know that Cassandra approached. “Solas confirms, the heavens are scared but calm, the Breach is sealed,” she said voice full of pride, “we have reports of lingering rifts and many questions still remain, but this was a victory.”

“word of your heroism continues to spread,” she said smiling

“You know how many were involved. Luck put me at the center,” I didn’t feel the praise should all fall on me

“You’re right, this was a victory of alliance. One of the few in recent years,” she said, “Now that the Breach is closed, that alliance will need a new focus.”

Before I could ask for her advice on said focus, a bell chimed in the distance. The revelry stopped and silence fell over Haven.

“Forces approaching! To arms!” Cullen commanded, his words floating on the air, now thick with tension.

Cassandra drew her sword, “we must get to the gates,” she said before taking off into the night.

I followed her, dodging the people as they scattered.

“One watch guard reported, it’s a massive force, the bulk over the mountain,” Cullen explained pointing toward the hillside where torches could be seen, dancing like fireflies in the distance

“Under what banner?” Josephine asked

“None,” Cullen replied

“None?” she questioned shock igniting her face.

There was a banging at the gates a young man’s voice called out, “I can’t come in unless you open.”

I opened the doors just as a templar fell to its knees, behind him, a young boy sheathed twin daggers. “I’m Cole, I came to warn you. To help, people are coming to hurt you,” he was saying.

“What is this? What’s going on?” I was confused

“The Templar’s are coming to kill you,” the boy said, pointing a bony finger in my direction

Cullen stormed forward “Templars? Is this the orders response to our talks with the mages? Attacking blindly?”

The young man shook his head, “The Red Templars went to the Elder One. Do you know him? He knows you and he is angry you took his mages.”

Red Templars? Who are the red templars, my memory flashed back to Meric at the ball, his eyes were red… red with anger I thought, but maybe it was something else?

The young man pointed behind him “There” he said. “Wait! is that Samson?” Cullen was saying “I know him but this Elder One…?”

Following their gaze to the hillside I saw a man in Templar armor, his eyes were glowing red, just like Meric’s had been. Next to him stepped a horror unlike any I had seen before. It stood twice as tall as a man and was half human half something else, something blighted.

“Cullen give me a plan, anything?” I asked, having never faced an army before.

“Haven is no fortress, if we are going to withstand this monster, we must control the battle,” he said, “Get out there and hit that force, use everything you have.”

Then he turned towards the Inquisition’s forces, who stood waiting for instructions. “Inquisition! With the Herald! For your lives for all of us!” he yelled.

Bull, Dorian and Vivienne approached me, “you’ve defeated the sky, lets show them that the ground holds no greater threat!” Vivienne said. “Always ready to stab some Vints,” Bull added. “At your side Amatus,” Dorian leaned in placing a kiss on my forehead. “Let’s do this,” I called to my friends as we jumped into battle.

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48319319401/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48319442592/in/dateposted-public/)


	35. In Your Heart Shall Burn (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya learns she has an admirer, one that wants her dead... again

* * *

 

One of the trebuchet’s launched boulders at the force, one after another. “we’ll reload this one, get to the other, it isn’t firing,” called a soldier as we passed. Rounding the corner, we saw the second trebuchet, the solder’s manning it were overwhelmed by red templars. We managed to gain control but lost the soldiers in the process. I loaded and released the leaver, the boulder went flying away from the force… “piss,” I called at my bad aim.

The boulder flew straight into the side of the mountain, a loud roar rang out as an avalanche of snow and ice slid down onto the enemy forces. Shouts and cheers spilled from our troops; we had done it!

But our joy was short lived, out of the mass of falling snow came a screech, it rang out across the valley. A dragon. It flew over us raining fireballs in its wake. It wasn’t just any dragon but a horrid blighted thing, upon its back road the Elder One.

“Today is now well beyond making sense,” Dorian called over the screeching.

“Everyone to the gate,” I said

As we passed that smithy Harritt called out, “Herald! Help me with this door,” It was obstructed by fallen debris, but Bull managed to break through in just a couple hits of his massive maul.  “Good one! Just grabbing essentials,” said the blacksmith.

I could hear Cullen calling out at the city gate, “everyone inside, move it, move it.”

He closed and barricaded the door from the inside, “we need everyone back to the Chantry, it’s the only building that might hold against that beast,” he called. Turning to me, “At his point, just make them work for it,” he said

The sounds of battle were everywhere, people called for help. We saved those we could, but it wasn’t as many as I’d have liked. When we finally made it to the Chantry, the chancellor was calling out, “Go, the Chantry is your shelter,” he stumbled and falling into Cole’s arms. “He tried to stop a templar, the blade went deep, he is going to die,” Cole said. “what a charming young man, Chancellor Rodrick replied with a laugh that then turned to a gasp of pain.

Cullen approached me, “Herald! Our position is not good, that dragon stole back any time you might have earned us,” he said

“I’ve seen an Archdemon,” Cole’s eyes met mine, “it was in the fade, but it looked like that.”

“It’ll cut a path for that army, they’ll kill everyone in Haven,” Cullen yelled.

“The Elder One doesn’t care about the village, he only wants the Herald,” Cole was saying.

“Why? Why does he want me?” I asked the strange boy

“I do not know but he will kill everyone in his way,” he said

“Herald!” Cullen pulled my attention back to him “There are no tactics that make this survivable.” He sighed in frustration, “The avalanche was the only thing that slowed them, if we turn the remaining trebuchets causing one last slide,” he said

“We’re overrun, to hit the enemy we’d bury Haven,” I said trying to make sense of his suggestion.

“We’re dying, but we can decide how. Many don’t get that chance,” he said shaking his head and looking around at the scared villagers.

“Chancellor Rodrick can help,” Cole said

“There is a path, you wouldn’t know it unless you made the summer pilgrimage as I have. The people can escape. Andraste must have shown me so I could tell you,” the Chancellor explained through painful gasps.

“Can you get them out Cullen?” I asked, not needing any more explanation. “Possibly, if he shows us the path”. Cullen stepped close to me, placing his hand on my shoulder, “what of your escape?” he asked.

I met his eyes, burning like molten gold, he knew what I was doing without me saying it. “Perhaps you will find a way…” his voice trailed off, but his eyes told me otherwise. Cullen turned to the others, “Inquisition, follow Chancellor Roderick through the Chantry! Move!”

I spared one last look to my companions, they were all busy tending to the wounded, comforting those who lost somebody. These were my people and I would ensure they lived, my sense of duty was strong and for once, I didn’t feel regret for the life I had lost. My eyes fell on Dorian, he was in the far corner, green healing magic filled his hands. If I go to him, he will insist on coming along, the people need him here. I turned and headed for the Chantry door without saying goodbye.

A strong hand caught my wrist just as I grabbed the door handle, “I see you Arya,” Cullen’s voice was laden with emotion, as he answered the question, I asked him months prior.

* * *

 

Stepping into the snowy night, I ran to the last trebuchet. There were Red Templars and Venatori agents scattered all about, but I managed to avoid most of them. I started twisting the lever, breaking every few turns to cut down an enemy soldier. It was aimed and ready to fire when I heard the screech of the dragon, the ground shook as it landed in the small clearing. Through the flames and falling snow, came the Elder One. “Pretender, you toy with forces beyond your kin, you will toy no more,” he said.

“What are you? Why are you doing this?” I asked, if I was going to die, I at least wanted to know why.

“Mortals beg for truth they cannot have. It is beyond what you are. What I was,” he answered cryptically. “Know me, know what you have pretended to be.”

What is it with ancient evils and not giving straight answers?

“Exalt in me, in the will that is Corypheus… you will kneel,” he commanded

“Why are you even here, what do you want?” I asked wanting to know this creature’s motive.

Raising his hand an orb appeared, glowing like the mark on my hand. “I am here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now.” Holding the orb toward me the mark ignited, burning and boiling under my skin. “It is your fault ‘Herald.’ you interrupted a ritual years in the planning and instead of dying, you stole its purpose,” he explained, “I do not know how you survived but that which marks you as ‘touched’ what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens.”

The arch between my mark and the orb crackled and fizzled but nothing happened, the mark didn’t disappear.

“And you use the Anchor to undo my work, the gall,” he was saying.

He was angry, stepping toward me and grabbing my marked hand, he pulled me up, dangling me like a doll. “I once breached the fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the Empire in person. I found only chaos and corruption, dead whispers, for thousands of years I was confused but not anymore. I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own. To champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods and it is EMPTY!” He tossed me into the hard wood of the trebuchet, sparks blurring my vision.

“The Anchor is permanent,” he said, “you have spoiled it with your stumbling.”

My head was spinning but I still had one task to complete, I needed to distract him a little longer, I hadn’t seen the signal yet. Grabbing a sword that laid next to me, I stood as if to fight. “I will not suffer even an unknowing rival, you must die,” he said stepping towards me. I saw the small ball of light signaling they were clear fly over his massive form. “You expect us to kneel at your might, we will not, you will face us all when the time is right.” I yelled at him throwing myself at the lever, releasing the final boulder. The mountain above us came crashing down, faster than the last time. I heard the dragon screech, but I didn’t look back I ran, trying to beat the onslaught of ice but it was to no avail. It overran me and I was lost to cold and darkness.

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48319443862/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48319322646/in/dateposted-public/)


	36. In Your Heart Shall Burn (part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Arya gone, the inner circle are processing, grief and inner demons abound.

* * *

 

**Dorian POV___________**

“You let her go face that thing alone?” I was yelling at Commander Cullen. He obviously saw her as disposable, and I would let him know how wrong he was. “Is this because she is a mage or because she in from Tevinter... one Vint against another, no matter who wins the south loses an enemy.”

“Dorian, you must calm down, the Herald made her choice,” Josephine was saying. “What do you care, behind your puffy sleeves and writing pen, she was just a tool for you to use,” I spat at the Antivan woman. My eyes were welling with tears, “She was mine, I loved her, ever since they brought her to my family’s door at only 11 summers, she was lanky, eyes too big for her face, a disheveled sight to behold, but I loved her despite of it all. Her smile filled the room with joy and her heart, she shared freely with the world. A heart that she shared with you and now you have silenced it.”

I stormed way from the group looking back at the pile of snow that used to be Haven. Maybe she got out, she is strong, “Andraste, if you really did choose her, protect her, bring her back to me,” I called to nobody and let the tears fall. Behind me, I heard foot falls in the snow. “You know, I once loved a hero, she too sacrificed everything so we could be here today, she too was handed the role without choice but nonetheless put her whole heart into it,” the spymaster’s Orlesian voice floated softly across the snow filled dawn. I turned to her, I didn’t care about her long-lost love, I cared only for Arya, but her eyes were kind and tears stained her cheeks. She didn’t say a word, just pulled me into her arms, she smelled like Andraste’s Grace and together we cried.

**Solas POV___________**

Amidst the chaos of battle, no one noticed a missing elvhen mage. I slipped away as the others fled the chantry through the tunnels. I was being beckoned, called by the orb that creature carried with him. My plan had failed, Corypheus wasn’t supposed to survive. His ability to cheat death, I was unprepared and had underestimated his power. Now Arya was going after him alone, by facing him she was allowing the others time to escape.

She would most likely parish and to what avail, what was the point of her sacrifice. They’d surely just freeze to death in the mountains, one upstart organization disappearing as quickly as it had appeared, an easily written off, point of history.

The creature was holding the orb out, it was corrupted, my orb was corrupted. He tried to use its power to remove the anchor from Arya, but it wasn’t working.

Upon arriving at Haven and tending to her after the explosion, I used the small amount of power I had accumulated to connect the anchor to myself. As long as I lived, that Anchor wasn’t leaving her palm by any hand but my own. It’s true that the orb’s power will eventually kill her, consume her from the inside. Yet another thing I underestimated, that I’d end up finding something worthwhile within this world. Ideally, by the time she can no longer sustain, I will be powerful enough.

Arya was dangling from the creature’s grasp, “you have spoiled it with you stumbling” he said before tossing her hard against the trebuchet. He was going to kill her, and I could do nothing. I was too weak to handle my own foci, too weak to handle the anchor, too weak… then I heard a rumble in the distance, the ground beneath my feet shook with the force of an onslaught of snow, ice, dirt and debris.

The blighted dragon grabbed Corypheus just before the snow overwhelmed him, flying off to safety. I tried finding her, but she was lost. Going into a fade step without much direction, I ended up far off on the hillside. The procession if survivors were all huddling under a grove of heavy pines, thick branches hiding them from the dragon’s view.

Fiona was keeping the mages focused on healing and clearing a path through the snow. Despite her obvious short sight around the rebellion, she was a good leader, caring for and protecting her charges.

Demon’s clawed at the Veil, drawn by strong emotions of fear, anger, despair. I knew the mages could sense them, their sweet whispers calling for an invitation, but they stayed focused of the tasks at hand. Very commendable, if only others could see. I boosted the walls of the Veil as much as I could, lessoning the demons’ enticing calls.

The Tevinter, Dorian, was yelling at Cullen and Josephine. “How could you let her face that monster alone?” he was saying, “she was nothing but a tool for you to use,” Little does he know, his spite should be aimed at me. Dorian stormed off and Leilana followed suit. A dark cloud had settled around the group and it was rearing its head in their interactions.

I approached Cassandra, “We cannot stay here Seeker,” I told her, “We must seek shelter and make camp before night fall.” Looking to the east, dark clouds were coming over the mountain tops, “there is a storm coming,” I said, pointing at the looming darkness. “But what of the Herald?” she questioned, eyes heavy with self-pity, “if we leave, she may not be able to find us.”

“Cassandra, the Herald’s fate in out of our hands now, but the lives of these people,” I opened my arms wide to illustrate the mass we had following us, “their future is in our hands, we can’t let her sacrifice be for not.” I saw Cassandra’s face change at my words, she dropped the pity and sadness and took on her typical stubborn, righteousness. She walked to Cullen, purpose in each step, “Commander, we must get these people to shelter, somewhere we can make camp, there is a storm brewing.”

Cullen followed her outstretched hand until his gaze fell upon the clouds in the distance. “Move out!” he called, and the group obeyed.

**Cullen POV_________**

“That was probably one of the hardest moments of my life,” I thought as I silently lead the survivors away, deeper into the mountains. Solas was right, her fate was out of our hands, but it didn’t make leaving easy. Not only did we have to leave, we also had to cover our tracks, in case enemy troops were out looking for us.

I envied Dorian’s freedom to grieve the loss of such an amazing woman. We left small clues, here and there along the path, a pile of wood, a cooking pot, the ring of a fire pit, things that wouldn’t draw attention from the air but would hopefully be just enough to guide our fallen hero, if she yet lived.

The progression was quiet and solemn as we made our way into a deep canyon. Down here, we were sheltered from the wind. The jutting cliffs above left the ground mostly free of snow. “Looks like a good place to make camp,’ Varric said, gazing around at the exhausted group. I nodded at his request, we needed to stop, and this place was the most secure thus far. Allowing my stride to slow I fell behind to where Cassandra, Leilana and Josephine were posted, taking up the rear of the group. “Are you good with setting camp here?” I asked the women. They nodded in agreement. “Let stop here for the night,” I called out for all to hear. Leilana and Josephine went straight to work, designating tasks to those able enough to help, wood for fires, ram meat for food, tents needed to be set up, water gathered, etc, etc… 

I was surprised at how quickly the clearing became a functioning encampment. People had settled in and some were even laughing. Stew was prepared and ale passed to all. The warmth of food and brew felt nice in the pit of my stomach. Solas had disappeared, “taking a look around,” he had claimed. Dorian sat at the edge of the camp, mug in hand and eyes distant. Bull, the Chargers, Varric, and Sera were huddled in a circle, that’s were the laughter was coming from. Cassandra was with the troops, cleaning weapons and armor. Josephine and Leilana sat across the fire pit from me, they were deep into some secret conversation, I couldn’t make out more than a word here and there. Cole, Vivienne, the mages and healers were all tending to the wounded. With a heavy sigh I leant back against my pack the raging wind above lulling me into a restless sleep.


	37. In Your Heart Shall Burn (part 4)

* * *

 

I was buried under a pile of debris, something pinched into my leg, but I couldn’t move it under the heavy weight. The hand which bore the anchor throbbed, the green light flickering in and out, matching my heart rate. My left arm ached and felt hot, like I had burnt it. I’m sure it had turned an awful shade of reddish purple from where that creature had held me.

I was injured but alive, at least for now. Low light was filtering in from above. I seemed to be underground in partially submerged tunnels. Perhaps part of the ones which apparently existed beneath Haven?

I called a mind blast, pushing the debris off me, so I could assess the damage to my leg. There was a large piece of wood embedded within my thigh. I knew if I pulled it out, I’d start hemorrhaging. I had some healing skills but wasn’t sure if I was good enough to save myself before passing out. Instead I reached inside my thigh, making sure that I wasn’t internally bleeding and cleaning up any infection that had started to set in. It hurt but I healed myself enough to walk.

I made my way through the tunnels, heading towards a faint light in the distance, which I hoped was a way out. Rounding a corner, the anchor began to sputter, a rift down here? It wasn’t a large one, but spewed out a couple despair demons, just as I approached.

I called fire, burning them both in one hit and closed the rift just before another pair started crawling their way out. After that, I was free to make a break for the entrance, stepping straight into a raging blizzard.

I contemplated stepping back inside the safety of the tunnels, make a fire, waiting for the storm to pass. The warmth of my own blood oozing down my leg advised me against that thought, I needed a real healer. My mana was draining, as I tried to keep my leg functioning, and I had no lyrium or elfroot potions.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped out into the storm. I couldn’t see and was trudging blindly through the snow. I don’t know how long I had been walking when the ground disappeared from under my feet. I fell, hitting my head on a rock as I rolled down the cliff.

When I came to, my body was stiff, my vision blurred. Beneath me the snow was a bright red from my own blood, and I felt dizzy. I tried to stand but couldn’t, my body wouldn’t cooperate, and I couldn’t feel my fingers or toes.

With the last of my mana I called my necromancy forth. Maybe Dorian was close enough to sense it, he could use it to find me. Purple light flooded my vison and spread out across the snow searching for its mark. Looking down at myself, my prone form was blue, blue meant death. I heard a small voice within my head it was familiar, “let me take over,” she said, I had no more fight in me and conceded.

**Dorian POV______________**

I was looking at the empty mug in my had, how many had that been? 6, 7? I didn’t know, I tried to stand but the world spun, so I decided sitting would be best. The encampment was quiet behind me, most people had sense drifted off to bed. Through my swirling vison, I saw Cullen and Cassandra sitting around the fire. “Dorian!” Cassandra called just before I felt the cold ground at my back. Did I just fall? I thought to myself, as the Seeker’s form hovered above me.

“Cullen come assist me,” she called over her shoulder. Heavy footfalls on the snow, then strong hands grasped my arms, pulling me up, face-to-face with golden eyes. He smelled like blade oil and Elderflower and I took a deep breath, allowing his scent to fill my lungs. I had been questioning myself since Redcliff. My attraction for Arya, very apparent. My strong feelings for her genuine. How was I supposed to tell her I preferred men? Especially now that we slept together? “Maybe I don’t prefer men,” I said aloud, “or perhaps she is an exception?” Cullen’s eyes looked at me with confusion, “Dorian, what are you on about?” he asked, putting his arm around my shoulders and leading me to one of the tents.

“So soon Commander, don’t I get wine first?” I asked him and he shook his head, “I think you’ve had plenty,” he said with a chuckle. Something tickled the back of my neck, raising the hairs on my arms. Cullen and I both stopped in our tracks. “What was that?” he turned to me. “Are your templar senses tingling?” I asked not being able to help it, I am just so funny. I felt it again, working its way under my skin this time and desperate, sobriety came instantly, “Arya,” I said. I turned and ran, allowing myself to be led by it. The closer I got the stronger the feeling, I could sense necromancy, but I couldn’t sense Arya through it. What if it’s not her, what if it’s a Venatori trap, my paced slowed.

“What is it?”

‘What’s the problem?’

Cullen and Cassandra questioned behind me.

We were cresting a hill, a scout posted at the top called out.

“Its her, it’s the Herald… oh shit!” the panic in the scout’s voice had me sprinting. At the crest of the hill I saw her, a few yards away. She was death, death walking, I could sense it thick as pudding. I put a hand out behind me, stopping Cullen and Cassandra.

“Don’t,” I said but I was too late, “What’s wrong with her,” Cullen asked panic in his voice.

“She’s an abomination!” Cassandra said.

“no, no,” Cullen was repeating, shaking his head as if to chase away a nightmare, he fell to his knees, covering his eyes from the sight.

I took a few hesitant steps towards her, I had heard about this but had never seen it happen. If a necromancer becomes close to death, they can allow one of the dead to take control, extending their life for a short time. Not unlike allowing demonic possession but not necessarily the same thing, there is no bargain, no “let me live and I will do blah blah blah.”

Arya was on her knees, not having the strength continue. She was engulfed in the purple light of necromancy, it hovered over her holding the form of another. I could see that this spirit was a woman, she wore a full robe, like that of the Circle mages, had long white-blond hair and soft features. I imagine she would have been quite lovely in life. Beneath the façade of the spirt, Arya was a pale blue, her eyes held that blankness that came with death, we didn’t have much time.

“Dorian?” the spirit’s voice was soft but held a hint of youth. I nodded in reply. “She used to tell me how handsome you were, I thought she exaggerated but I see now that she did not,” the spirit reached out, hand brushing my cheek like the wings of a butterfly.

“Arya said to find you, I’ve been looking for so long, I hope I’m not too late,” her features were sad. I heard stumbling footsteps, Cullen and Cassandra appeared at my side. The spirit’s features became angry, “they cannot touch her,” she said.

“Do not presume to tell me…” Cassandra started but I interrupted her “It’s nothing against you, it’s the death siphon, can’t you see it?”

“Death what!?” she said

A spiral of purple was reaching out from Arya, pulling in life energy from any living thing in its proximity. “If you touch her, she could suck all your life energy, it could kill you,” I said with a sigh.

“Tell me spirit, what is your name?” I asked

She looked at me, “we are out of time, please take her.” Arya’s form stepped into my arms, she was cold and stiff. The siphon pulled at me, but my own necromancy kept it at bay. The purple form of the spirit anchored itself deep within Arya, keeping her going until we got back to camp.

**Cullen POV____________**

Solas appeared as we entered the encampment, features held relief and fear. He went to work immediately, examining her. “We need to raise her temperature before anything else,” he said, I started unbuttoning my shirt, I knew the best way was skin-to-skin contact.

Dorian stepped beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder, “Not that I would mind but there is a faster way,” he said with a sly grin. I ceased and watched as the mage’s palms turned red, like the embers of a fire.

He hovered them above her, steam started to rise from the moisture in her clothes. “Someone remove her clothes,” he said. Leilana stepped forward, pulled a dagger and sliced the front of her leather traveling gear open from neck to groin. Josie helped peel the stiff fabric from Arya’s prone form, leaving her in just smalls and a breast band. “Maker,” I couldn’t stop the gasp as I saw the delicate lines of her toned body, the curvature of her hips and breasts, she was so beautiful. I had to force my gaze away. A small crowd and started to form outside the infirmary tent, people awoken by the commotion.

“Commander is she going to be okay?” people asked. “Please, go back to bed, the Herald is badly wounded, but the healers are doing their duty, may the Maker watch over her,” I said to the followers and they slowly meandered back to their tents.

Dorian had stepped outside, allowing Solas space to tend to her leg and other wounds. “that was a close one, but I think she will recover,” he said as if trying to convince himself. Knowing that I wouldn’t be of help, I resumed my place by the fire and waited for Solas to give the “all clear,” so I could return to her side. Dorian was right, I shouldn’t have let her go after that thing alone, I should have gone with her, I could have…. I might have been able to…. I will never let her have to be forced to choose between herself and the people ever again.

**Dorian POV________________**

The time seemed to stretch forever before Solas stepped out of the tent, “she will be okay but needs a lot of rest,” he said then disappeared from the ring of light cast by the firelight. Cullen jumped to his feet, and swiftly made his way to the tent. For a man built as he is, he sure moves well, I thought as I watched his tall form duck inside the low hanging fabric. My emotions were all a jumbled mess. Relief that Arya was safe and alive, the thought of her being gone from this world caused my heart to ache in a way I’d never felt. The feeling added to the guilt that had been brewing since Redcliff. What will she think when I tell her? I could see the look of hurt and disappointment across her lovely features. Features that I want to wake to every morning. Sleeping in her arms that night at the inn was so perfect, the feeling of her snuggled against me, soft, warm and smelling of lilacs in the spring. Even the sex was amazing, and I hadn’t had a desire to lay with a female for over 2 years. But in this moment, as my gaze followed the Commander’s strides, I feel the familiar warmth of desire start to burn in my core. “Kaffas, I’m doomed”

Peering inside the tent, Cullen had his head laying on her stomach, one of his large hands engulfing her smaller one, as if it were the only real thing in the world. Taking the stool across from him, I sat silently, eyes focused on Arya’s peaceful face. The spattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks was stark against the paler of her skin. Her long dark eyelashes rested just above the freckles, like lace against ivory. “Maker,” I thought to myself, “this woman is precious.”

I could feel the fluttering of my heart, like a bird trying to break free of its cage. Cullen raised his head, golden eyes dark with emotion. Silent tears fell down his cheeks, “you were right, I swear I will never allow her in a place where she has to make such a choice again,” he said, chin set in determination, “I failed her this time but it will not happen again, I will place myself between her and whatever this blighted world trys to hit her with.”

Perhaps I was wrong, perhaps she means more to him than I thought.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48303721982/in/dateposted-public/)


	38. Wisdom Comes in Many Forms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon waking, Arya finds the Inquisition isn't as it was before.

* * *

 

I felt cold but could hear voices, muffled voices, I couldn’t make out words but found familiarity in the tones. Dorian, Cullen, Cassandra, Vivienne, and Solas were there, talking like background music. The only voice that was crisp belonged to Lila, she told me stories, her sing-song voice bouncing around in my head, keeping my attention from the numbness the pushed against me. I was so tired, if only I could rest for a bit. “Arya, have you ever licked a lamppost in winter?’ she asked making me laugh. One of my favorite lines from Solona’s story, it’s how Alistair had asked if she’d been intimate with anyone. Lila and I used the reference often during our years in the Circle. The reference took me back, memories helping to chase away the cold.

As the voices around me grew louder, Lila’s grew quieter. “You’re healing, soon you won’t need me,” she said. I didn’t want her to go, I missed her. “I will always be with you Arya, the explosion may have taken my physical body, but I am with you in spirit,” she said placing her hand over my heart.

_“what would you have me tell them, this isn’t what we told them to do,”_

_“we can’t ignore this, we must find a way”_

_“and who put you in charge? We need a consensus, or we have nothing!”_

_“Please. We must use reason. Without the infrastructure of the inquisition, we’re hobbled!”_

_“that can’t come from nothing”_

_“she didn’t say it could”_

_“ENOUGH! This is getting us nowhere”_

_“Well, we are at least agreed on that much!”_

 I heard arguing outside and it pulled me from my slumber. Mother Giselle sat next to me, “Shhhh,” she said, “lay back, you need rest.”

“They’ve been at it for hours,” my voice came out cracked and small.

Mother Giselle’s kind eyes looked at mine from across the cot, “They have that luxury, thanks to you, the enemy could not follow and with time to doubt, we turn to blame. In fighting may threaten us as much as this Corypheus.”

She turned away, gazing out at my advisers who had taken to opposite sides of the encampment.

“Do we know where Corypheus and his forces are?” I asked

She let out a small chuckle, “we are not even sure where WE are.”

“If they are arguing about what to do next, I need to be there.”

She shook her head, “another heated voice will not help, not even yours, perhaps especially not yours. Are leaders struggle because of what we survivor’s witnessed. We saw our defender stand… and then fall. And now, we see her return. The more our enemy is beyond us the more miraculous your actions appear, and the more our trials seem ordained.

I sat up, my body was stiff, but it felt nice to move again. The wise chantry mother continued, “That is hard to accept, no? What we have been called to endure? What we perhaps, must come to believe?”

She reached for me, laying her warm hand against my cheek. My heart felt heavy again, “I escaped the avalanche, barely perhaps, but I didn’t die.”

“Of course, and the dead cannot return from across the Veil, but the people know what they saw or perhaps what they needed to see. The people saw the Herald face sure death, they saw her fall, they grieved her loss, then they saw her come back, carried as if by magic back to us all. The Maker works both in the moment and in how it is remembered.”

I shook my head in disbelief at her, my soul heavy from Corypheus’ words.

“Can we really know the heavens are not with us?” she asked

“You saw Corypheus, what do you think of his claims?”

“The scripture says Magister's, Tevinter servants of the Old Gods entered the fade to breach the Golden City, the seat of the Maker. For their crime they were cast out as darkspawn. Their hubris is why we suffer the Blight, and why the Maker turned from us. If such is the claim of this Corypheus, he is a monster beyond imagining, all mankind continues to suffer from that sin. If even a thread of it is true, all the more reason Andraste would choose someone to rise against him,” she justified.

“Corypheus said he found only corruption and emptiness, nothing Golden,” my doubt hanging on every word.

“If he truly entered that place, it has changed him without and within, the living are not meant to make that journey. Perhaps these are lies he has told himself, rather than accept that he earned the scorn of the Maker? I cannot speak for him but only for myself, myself would not be able to bear such a thing,” she said

“whether he is telling the truth or not, he is a real physical threat, one which we cannot meet with hope alone.” I said rising to join my advisors on deciding our next step.

I only got a few steps out of the infirmary tent when a familiar song started from behind me, “…the night is long and the path is dark, look to the sky, for one day soon the dawn will come…” Mother Giselle’s voice fell over the encampment, Leilana’s, eerily beautiful, followed shortly after, then Cullen, Josie and before long the survivors of Haven fell to their knees in front of me, the song on their lips and hope in their eyes.

Part of me wanted to run but another part of me felt light creep it’s way within me. “An army needs more than and enemy, it needs a cause,” Mother Giselle’s words fell on my ears just as the song came to an end.  As people arose, going back to their tasks, Solas came up from behind. “A word?” he questioned, leading me into the cold night.

Once we were far enough away that the sounds of the encampment were a whisper on the breeze, he lit a veilfire torch, where did that even come from, I thought to myself. The mystery that is Solas increasing.

“A wise woman, worth heeding, her kind understands the moments that unify a cause, or fracture it,” his voice, usually smug, held warmth. His expression as he stared at me through the blue light of the veilfire, laid his feelings open, if only for a brief moment. He looked and me and I saw tenderness, relief and something else… love?

He quickly looked away, “the orb Corypheus carried, the power he used against you, it is Elvhen. Corypheus used the orb to open the Breach, unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the conclave.

I do not yet know how Corypheus survived… nor am I certain how people will react when they learn of the orb’s origin,” he said, a slight trimmer in his voice.

“All right, what is it and how do you know about it?” I asked him, curiosity in my tone.

He gave me a small approving smile and chuckled, “They were foci, used to channel ancient magics. I have seen such things in the fade, old memories of older magic. Corypheus may think it Tevinter, their empire’s magic was built on the bones of my people, after all,” this time his face held a deep hatred, “knowing or not, he risks our alliance, I cannot allow it.”

“This whole mess is confusing, I can see how elves might be end up an easy target,” I confirmed his worry.

“History would agree, but there are steps we can take to prevent such,” he said turning to face me over the veil fire once again.

**Solas POV__________**

The light of the veilfire cast blue shadows across the snow. Her eyes looked at me, their sapphire color sparkled and shone, otherworldly. Did she believe that I saw it in the Fade, I doubted it, she was too smart for her own good. But I also know she wouldn’t question me, accepting that I would tell her the truth if and when the time was necessary.

Before she had caught my emotions, I was careless, entranced by the joy of seeing her alive, watching the wheels within that beautiful mind turn once again. I knew what needed to be done next.

**Arya POV _________________**

Solas stood with his hands folded, resting against the small of his back. He looked like an elven story teller or perhaps a villain from a children’s book: mysterious, dark, secretive. 

He took a deep breath, “By attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it. Changed you,” he explained, outstretching his arm, “Scout to the North, be their guide.”

“There is a place that waits for a force to hold it”

“There is a place where the Inquisition can build… grow…” he continued voice sure and confident. I didn’t know how he knew these things but for some reason I believed him, every word.

I made my way back to camp, searching out Leilana. “Send a raven North,” I told her.

“With what task?” she asked

I shook my head, “I’m not sure but send it nonetheless, we head out at daybreak,” I instructed

She looked at me as if I’d lost my mind but nodded her head, “as you wish.”

**Dorian POV________________**

When I finally found her, she was talking to Leilana. I hovered, waiting for the exchange to finish. As she turned and laid her beautiful eyes on me, she smiled. I ran to her, lifting her in the air and spinning her in a circle, a giggle sprang form her lips. Which she quickly crashed against mine, as soon as I put her down.

This was the first time since Redcliff we had anything resembling intimacy between us. She tasted sweet, I groaned feeling the moist tip of her tongue, seeking entrance. She took that moment to slide inside of me, exploring me, lighting the flame within. But I had to pull away, now was not the time, not here in the middle of the encampment.

Her eyes filled with questions at my behavior. “What’s wrong Dorian?” she asked, eyes searching my face for any hint at a reason. “there are a lot of people here who are glad that you live, I can’t take all your attention.” She looked around and when her eyes met mine again, they were hard. She took a few steps back, putting distance between us, “if you say so,” she said before walking away.

I wanted to chase after her, sweep her into my arms and take her into the privacy of my tent. I wanted her to scream my name as I pleasured her, loud enough for the whole encampment to hear but I also knew if I went there again that would make it real. I cannot be with her for real, and still me who I am.

Heavy footsteps passed me and I turned to see Cullen follow Arya into the council tent.

 

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	39. An Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contemplating her next move, Arya finds a much more exciting use for the war table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut here, and some other things that have an impact on the story moving forward. If you don't want to read the smut part, you can skip the Cullen POV section and you'll miss most of it.

* * *

 

What the fuck was that! I wanted to cry but at the same time wasn’t surprised. I knew when Dorian’s naked body laid across my chest that morning in Redcliff, it was to good to be true. He had hesitated that night, before we were intimate. I wish he would just tell me whatever was troubling him. _Scared that he’ll hurt me, doesn’t want to be a distraction from my duty, afraid to lose me,_ the reasons to stay distant are vast and thus expected, I just wish he’d share his.

A map of Thedas was spread out on the makeshift war table. Cullen’s handwriting was all over it, from the notes, it seemed like he was trying to figure out where we were.

I felt anxious, putting so much faith in Solas, I knew he had an ulterior motive for being here, and I knew that he thought the Inquisition was his best chance to reach whatever his goal was. But I also felt thankful, without his help, the Inquisition wouldn’t even exist, and I would be dead…twice, or was it three times now? His reasoning wasn’t really my business, so I put my trust in his actions and they were telling me to follow his lead.

Movement at the door caused me to raise my head, there was a clank as Cullen dropped his sword belt to the ground and pulled me into him. His breath was warm against the top of my head; he took my smell deep into his lungs, releasing with a shudder. Stepping back just enough to look at my face but still so close. He lifted my chin with a gentle finger and touched his lips to mine, barely, just a hover.

My pulse quickened and my breathing caught in my chest, he heard my reaction and let out a growl, deep and guttural. He was going to take me right there and Maker fuck, I wanted him too. I felt my core moisten at the image of him shoving me down on the damn map, thrusting himself deep inside, I bet he was an animal when he finally let himself go. “Cullen,” I breathed his name against our almost touching lips, not even hiding the desire in my voice. His eyes burned like, fuck Solona was right, molten gold was exactly what they looked like. 

**______________Cullen POV_____________________**

Her smell was intoxicating this close, and the way my name sounded escaping her lips like that. She didn’t move to close the distance, but I felt heat emanating from her body, the pulse in her neck quickened, her breasts straining against the tight leather tunic with every breath. She’d let me take her right here on the table, she wanted it, almost screamed for it and I wanted to give it to her.

For so long I held back, being careful but when I saw her with Dorian, how much joy she felt at his touch and how he shot her down, my patience broke. He doesn’t deserve her, just like Solona and that fucking bastard Alistair, guys like them don’t know how to really handle a strong powerful woman.

I claimed her then, closed the distance and reveled as her body melted into mine. I was hungry for her, but she was just as desperate. I lifted her, placing her on the side of the table, spreading her legs with a knee to make room for me between them. She arched her body against me, used her legs to pull me even closer. I was so hard and feeling myself pressed against her core was about to undo me. Her hand slipped down, rubbing against me through my breeches and I couldn’t hold back the groan of pleasure. She pulled away, looking at me through long lashes, “I want to taste you, will you let me Cullen?” she asked voice sultry. I’m not sure how I went from being in charge to putty in her delicate hands, but it happened.

She freed my cock without breaking eye contact and slid herself off the table to the ground. The moist warmth of her tongue darted out, slinking along the tip of me and I groaned again. Her hands wrapped around the base of my shaft and started moving, slowly at first, matching the pace of her mouth. She took my entire tip in, humming a moan as she did so. My hands wrapped in her chestnut curls and I watched her as she licked and sucked me. Looking up, my dick resting against her chin she purred, “don’t hold back Commander,” her lips curling into a mischievous grin before she took the entire length of me into her. She moved up and down and my head flew back at the sheer pleasure. I started moving her head with my hands, and she moaned around me. “Maker, fuck, I’m going to cum,” I said before pulling out and finishing the last bit, releasing my load, spurt after glorious spurt into her open mouth. She swallowed, still looking up at me through her lashes, grinning like a cat, “Thank you Commander, I was starving,” she said. And then I laughed, I couldn’t believe what just happened but, in that moment, I felt better than I had in 10 years.

His laugh bounced off the walls of the tent and I reveled in the sheer joy of it. I’d never heard him laugh, a chuckle but not an actual laugh and the sound was beyond wonderful. Wiping my mouth on the back of my hand I stood, unsteadily so. My body was still reeling from the adrenaline of what just happened, I was so wet I could feel it through the leather leggings I wore. His strong arms gripped me, keeping me from falling over. “Are you alright?” he asked. I nodded, “yes, fine, just… wow,” I said with a smile before turning my attention away, back to the map.

I felt him step up behind me, hands grasping my hips, “I’m not done yet,” he whispered against my ear, raising goosebumps along my skin. His lips went to my ear, neck, collar bone and I moaned every time they touched me. His hand slipped down between my legs and he chuckled, Maker, it caressed along my skin melting me, “seems you weren’t quite done either.”

Swiftly he spun me around and lifted me back up on the table. His fingers slid from my knees inward and I spread for him. He touched my core and we both groaned, massaging my clit, he was going to make me cum through my fucking pants. “Cullen,” his name came from my lips again like a prayer and it was enough to send him over the edge, he pushed me down on the table, fingers in my waistband, pulling them down, exposing me to the chilled air. He lowered himself kissing me at the navel and dropping lower to my hip, thigh, knee, everything except where I wanted it most. He kept me in anticipation of the next spot he’d place those skilled lips. I felt his fingers brush my slit, slick with need and his breath caught. “Cullen, please, I want to feel you inside me,” I begged, and he brought his face in line with mine. His eyes darkened with need and I felt his hand between us releasing his cock, once again rock hard. He stood back, hovering above me, I looked down, between my legs where he held his cock above me, “you want this?” he asked smacking my cunt with his errection. “Maker yes, Cullen,” I said. He smacked me again and rubbed the tip against my clit. “tell me where you want it,” he growled. I lowered my fingers to my own wetness, spreading my lips and sliding them inside just a bit. My other hand came down and rubbed my clit, “like this Cullen, I want to feel you like this.” He pulled my hand up, sucking my fingers, “Mmm, you taste divine.”

 “That’s what happens when your Andraste’s Herald,” I said with a grin, not being able to hold back the pun. He growled in something anger, annoyance, lust, the reasoning didn’t matter because in that moment he slammed his cock into me, and I had to bite my lip to hold back the scream.

**__________________Leliana POV______________________**

After the way Dorian had acted before, I did find his behavior towards Arya curious. He followed her with his gaze as she walked away, he was battling something inside himself, I could see it on his face like a gash. The heavy footfalls of Cullen’s armored boots drew my attention from the Tevinter’s face. Cullen’s eyes were dark but not with anger, he followed Arya into the tent, purpose in each step, and I giggled, bringing my hand to my mouth covering my outburst. It’s about time he made a move, better now then after Dorian figured out whatever was stopping him.

I saw Cassandra start in the direction of the council tent and stepped forward to intervene. “Cassandra, Josie, I need to speak with you,” I said luring the women to one of the fire pits. “Arya says we are leaving at daybreak, heading North, let’s start getting things ready for the trip,” my distraction worked, the two women began busying themselves with logistics and delegating. Once they were distracted, I stealthily made my way to the council tent, pulling the fabric aside just slightly, I saw exactly what I had hoped for. I called over Rits, “don’t let anyone inside,” I told her, and she nodded. A loud moan escaped the slightly parted fabric and Rits’ eyes opened in surprise. I placed my finger to my lips telling her “shhh” and with a wink walked away.

I awoke to Leliana’s smiling face. She was grinning like a Cheshire cat, “how was your night?” she asked voice innocent but eyes very much not. I felt my face flush with color, and she giggled. “Fear not, Herald, your secret is safe with me,” she said mimicking the hand-over-heart jester of the scouts.

“I assume this means I have you to thank for the lack of interruptions?” I questioned and she simply nodded. Cassandra approached from her back, “all preparations to depart have been made Your Worship,” Cassandra said looking stoic as usual. Your Worship? That’s a new one. I stood, feeling the soreness of great sex and smiled to myself. Time to address the people.

“Inquisition! People of Haven! We are going North, where there is a place waiting for a force to hold it, a place where we can build and grow, Corypheus surprised us at Haven yes, dealt us a blow, yes, but we will not be defeated, we will become his equal in all ways and we will make him pay for the lives he stole from us!”

The people rejoiced and with Solas at my side we marched… to Skyhold!

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	40. Skyhold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya and the Inquisition finally make it to Skyhold! But with a new fortress comes new responsibilities.... right?

* * *

 

It at been nearly a week since we arrived but still people, animals, supplies came flooding through the gates. The fortress was impressive, but it needed a little love. Thankfully the people of the Inquisition were more than happy to make it their own.

One afternoon, as I was making my rounds Cassandra waved me over. “They arrive daily form every settlement in the region. Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage. If word has reached these people, it will have reached the Elder One,” she said, but her face didn’t seem frightened. She began walking, making her way across the courtyard and I followed, “We have the walls and numbers to put up a fight here, but this threat is far beyond the war we anticipated. Now we know what allowed you to stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you,” she stopped and turned toward me.

“he came for this,” I said raising my hand and allowing the anchor to sputter, “now it’s useless to him, so he wants me dead, that’s it,” I said, unsure what it meant moving forward.

Cassandra shook her head at my negative comments and started walking again, ascending the massive steps to the Keep. “The anchor has power, that is true, but it is not why you are still here. Your decisions let us heal the sky, your determination brought us out of Haven, you are the creatures rival because of what you did, what you continue to do, and we know it, we all do.”

We crested the steps to Leliana, holding a huge sword in her hands, it was nearly as big as she. “The Inquisition requires a leader, the one who has already been leading it,” Cassandra said, words fading into the background as Leliana approached with the sword.

My gaze swept around to the crowd formed in the courtyard. They all looked up at me with hope, and adoration in their eyes.

“You,” she said.

I wasn’t sure what to say, “A Mage at the head of the Inquisition, is that wise?” I whispered to the Seeker at my side

“Not a mage Arya, You,” she repeated emphasizing the last word, “I will not pretend some wont object, but times are changing, perhaps this is what the Maker intended. There would be no Inquisition without you, how it serves, how you lead, that is for you to decide.”

I glanced again at the crowd below, eyes landing on Solas. He gave me a smug smile but nodded as if saying “go ahead, take it.”

I grabbed the ginormous dragon hilted sword looking at its delicate craftsmanship before meeting Cassandra’s gaze, “with fear running rampant, they need to see a Mage standing for what is right, I will defeat Corypheus standing with them, not over them.”

“Have the people been told?” Cassandra called out across the crowd.

I heard Josephine reply, “they have, and soon the world,” from below.

“Commander? Will they follow?” she called

“Inquisition! Will you follow?” Cullen’s deep voice floated up from the crowd making my knees weak as it caressed my skin.

“Will you fight?”

“Will we triumph?”

“YEAH!!” Came the rallying call from the people and Cullen turned, drawing his blade and raising it in my direction, “Your Leader! Your Herald! Your Inquisitor!”

The rally became a roar, as everyone in Skyhold yelled. I raised the massive sword toward the sky and let the voices of my people, their strength, their determination, their passion flow through me. 

* * *

Minutes later my advisers and I stepped over the threshold of our home.

“So, this is where is begins,” Cullen said spinning in a dramatic circle, arms outstretched.

“It began in the courtyard,” Leliana said, “this is where we turn that promise into action.”

“But what do we do? We know nothing about Corypheus except that he wanted your mark,” Josephine spoke

I turned facing them all, the questions began spouting from my lips, “Corypheus wants to restore Tevinter, could this be prelude to war with the Imperium?”

“I get the feeling we are dealing with extremists, not the vanguard of a true invasion,” Cullen answered

“Tevinter is not the Imperium of a thousand years ago, what he wishes to restore no longer exists,” this from Josephine

“Corypheus said he wanted to enter the Black City, that this would make him a God, is that even possible?” I asked

“He is willing to tear this world apart to reach the next, it won’t matter if he is wrong,” Leliana had a point

“What if he’s not wrong,” Cullen stepped in, “What if he finds some other way into the fade?”

“Then he gains the power he seeks, or unleashes catastrophe on us all,” Leliana added, anger in her words.

“What about his dragon? Could it really be an archdemon? What would that mean? I asked

“Another Blight,” Leliana said, voice quiet and eyes on long forgotten memories

“We have seen no darkspawn other then Corypheus himself, perhaps it is not an archdemon but something different,” Josephine added, hope in her voice

“whatever it is, it’s dangerous and commanding it gives Corypheus an advantage we can’t ignore,” Cullen the strategist

I was starting to feel overwhelmed all these questions and they just brought more questions… I wanted answers, needed answers

“Someone out there must know something about Corypheus,” I yelled, frustration evident in my voice

“we do have one advantage, we know what he intends to do next, you saw it in that alternate future, assassinating Empress Celene, raising a demon army.” Leliana reminded us

“Imagine the chaos her death would cause, that and an army of demons, he could conquer the entire south of Thedas, God or no God,” Josephine added

“Urg, I’d feel better if we knew more about what we were dealing with,” Leliana sounded as frustrated as me.

“I know someone who can help with that,” a voice came from the doorway, “Everyone acting all inspirational jogged my memory, so I sent a letter to an old friend,” Varric’s voice was light, but I knew he wasn’t being entirely truthful. “She’s crossed paths with Corypheus before and may know more about what he’s doing, she can help.”

“I’m always looking or new allies,” I said, “Introduce us?” He turned and looked back towards the door, “Parading around might cause a fuss, it’s better for you two meet privately, on the battlements,” he said, “trust me, its complicated,” then he shrugged and walked back out into the afternoon sun. We all stared after him, unsure of what to make of it until Josephine broke the silence, “well then, we stand ready on both of these concerns”

“On your word Inquisitor,” Cullen said, bouncing off Josephine.

“I know one thing, if Varric has brought who I think he has, Cassandra is going to kill him,” Leliana’s voice held a hint of laughter; we all stared at the spymaster, unsure of what was so amusing.

* * *

 

Through all the hustle and bustle of getting to Skyhold and being named Inquisitor, I hadn’t even seen my friends. I needed to make my rounds.

The morning sunlight shone on the Frostbacks, as I watched it rise from the balcony of my quarters. It was breathtakingly beautiful and felt right, like I was meant to be here.  

How had Solas known about this place and why hadn’t he brought us here sooner? What else is he keeping to himself until he deems it the right moment? I shook my thoughts away, no point in worrying about it, for now he was at least on our side.

Shaking thoughts of Solas away brought forth others, Dorian? I hadn’t seen him since that time at the encampment, he kept his distance and I did the same. The thought of him brought me sadness. I had pinned away for him all those years, to finally have him was one of the best moments of my life and then to have him pull away without even an explanation.

He used to share everything with me. My mind drifted to one of the many nights he and I sat in the candlelight of the library. “That Circle just couldn’t handle me,” he’d say but I could tell he was disappointed. Jumping from Circle to Circle and being asked to leave from each of them. Dorian was always a visionary and he wasn’t afraid to share his opinion, or stand up for what he felt was right, even if it went against the majority. I loved that part of him, his integrity, his passion, his brilliance and wit, I loved him, and I always had. But that doesn’t change where we are now.

And then there was Cullen… Maker what was I thinking? I shouldn’t have gone there, he is my Commander. Not to say that I didn’t enjoy every second of being with him. In fact, I crave his touch even now. Doing that just made everything 100 times more complicated. Cullen wasn’t one to keep things casual, I could see the possessiveness in his eyes that night in the tent, and I loved it. I didn’t want to hurt him, but my shoulders are holding enough weight as it is. Duty may require me to lay down my life at any moment and where would that leave Cullen.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48319361302/in/dateposted-public/)   
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	41. Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a good remedy for troubled thoughts? Coffee and girl talk, which is exactly what Arya gets.

* * *

“Boy troubles?” I jumped at the spymaster’s voice and she laughed, damn she was good.

For the first time since I met her, she wasn’t wearing her full armor. She had on a simple leather tunic and cotton leggings, similar to my own attire. Her shoulder length red hair glowed like rubies in the morning light, her eyes sparkled with knowing laughter.

Something about her made me feel so safe, like I could be myself and she wouldn’t judge me for it. She stepped up next to me, filling a mug with the Antivan kaffe’ that sat on the little table. I shot a small flame at it, warming the liquid until I saw steam. “Thank you,” she said, “Now tell me everything, it will help to get it out, no?

**Leliana POV_______________________**

The morning sun shone off her curls, they looked soft like velvet and I wanted to reach out and touch them. She let out a soft sigh and rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair. The gesture made me smile, it was the same thing Solona did when she was musing over the boys, Cullen and Alistair. I wonder who was taking up the Inquisitor’s pretty head.

“Boy troubles?” I asked and she nearly jumped out of her skin. I couldn’t help but laugh, at the girlish squeak that escaped her lips, to quiet to be a scream but more than a gasp.

Next to her sat a pot of Antivan Kaffe’ and I smiled at the familiar smell, it reminded me of early mornings with Zev. Filling my mug, she raised her hand, letting heat arch toward my cup and warming it for me, magic was sure handy.

I wanted to offer support but wasn’t sure if she trusted me enough to share. Meeting her blue eyes, so much like Solona’s, and I just jumped, “Tell me everything, it will help to get it out, no?” I questioned. She motioned for me to take a seat at the small table and I obliged, she joined, poised to tell a story, I love stories!!!

“I wasn’t raised in the Ostwick Circle,” she started much earlier than I expected, “In fact, I had only been there for four years prior to coming to the conclave. I came into my powers at 11, and my family feared the desolation of our name, like what happened to the Amell’s, so they sent me to train in Tevinter, under Halward Pavus.”

She raised her eyes, watching my face for judgement but I kept it neutral, and leaned in, enticing her to continue. “House Pavus and my father’s family are related, distantly, so Halward was more than happy to take me in. He basically raised me, I’d go back to Ostwick during the summers, to be with my family but that was it. There were two children in the Pavus house, Eliza and Dorian. Eliza and I were the same age and did everything together, like sisters. But Dorian was 4 summers our senior, he was also on a path to become Archon, even at 15 he had responsibilities to the Magisterium. However, that didn’t stop he and I from becoming close. He taught me many things, how to fight with daggers instead of a staff, how to summon the dead to do my bidding, how to kiss and handle a man, how you didn’t need to have physical intercourse to be intimate, mana works just as well.”

She searched my face again and I smiled, “sounds like you two have quite the history,” I said. A sad smile crossed her face, “I thought he was my future, but perhaps history is more accurate?” she questioned herself but looked at me. “What do you mean?” I said urging her on.

At 17, right before leaving to Ostwick for the summer, Eliza told me she found a contract between my family and Halward, a marriage contract for me and Dorian. He was away at the time, so I wouldn’t see him again until the Autumn, but I was so excited. He and I had talked about how together we could change the future, make Tevinter a place to be proud of again, ally with the rest of Thedas and stop the ridiculous infighting, and civil wars.” Her smile was hopeful, remembering her youthful innocence.

“But that was the summer you were taken to the Circle?” I asked. She nodded and her eyes turned sad again. “I was at the beach with my mother and little brother Nicolai. Something happened and he was swept away by the waves. I saved him, using magic, pushed the water from his lungs and urged his heart to beat again. It worked thankfully, but was witnessed by everyone on the beach. The Templar’s came then and took me away to the Circle.”

Anger raged through me, so many mage’s have a similar story, the Chantry is so unfair. She noticed my face change, “what is it?” she asked. “The Chantry in wrong, it shouldn’t be that way, people shouldn’t be afraid to save their loved ones. They shouldn’t have to make the choice to save themselves from imprisonment or save their little brother… it’s wrong.” I vented and her smile told me she appreciated my compassion. “But… I digress, what happened in the Circle?”

Arya refilled both our cups and warmed them again. “Well, due to my training in Tevinter, I was well beyond the level of all the other apprentices, however, I had yet to complete the Harrowing. So, for the first year, I acted just like the others, blended in for the most part. Instructor’s saw me as an exceptional student, but I had to keep a lot of my power quiet. The Circle wasn’t bad, I had shelter, could use magic without fear (mostly), access to cheese and space to learn.” I laughed at how she specified cheese. “Cheese?” I questioned raising an eyebrow. She laughed, “also other food but the cheese was my favorite.” Then she continued her story. “The other apprentices became my friends and colleagues and I met Lila, my best friend. She was a breath of fresh air in the stuffiness of the Circle, she made me laugh and together we ran the apprentice wing, especially the Templar's,” she winked at me and I giggled, “do tell.”

“Lila had a crush on this new recruit, and we made a point to make our presence known, after all, you can’t expect healthy men and women to be locked up together without getting, you know, physical… At that point, I went along with it for her sake, my heart and body, I kept to myself, I was going to get out and I had a husband waiting for me.”

“At that point?” I asked, “Something changed?”

“After about a year of being there, I was called to undergo my Harrowing, the Kirkwall Circle had rebelled, and tensions were high. My Harrowing went without an issue, I had long since managed my control and didn’t have any temptation from demons. Believe it or not, Tevinter has extensive training around the safe use of blood magic. The day after, is when things changed.” Her eyes grew distant as she thought back to those memories. “what changed?” I probed

“As soon as I awoke, I was called to the First Enchanter’s office. That’s when I met him, Meric Stanus,” she said, his name rolling off her tongue, whoever this man was she loved him or had loved him. “He was one of the Templar’s escorting me to her office, a transfer from Kirkwall, although his accent was 100% Ferelden. He had dark hair falling to his chin and green eyes like a pine forest at dusk. He was muscular, but not in the bulky way of a warrior, the lithe, lean way of a rogue.” She gestured at me when she said this. “he sounds dreamy,” I said with a girlish sigh, I’d known my fare share of men but loved the dark, handsome, roguish look best of all.

“Anyway, First Enchanter Lydia, raised me to the status of Senior Enchanter and made me her second. She had seen my skill level from the beginning and needed someone competent, to help her train the massive number of young mages showing up at the only stable Circle.

Things were changing with the pressure of the rebellion but Ostwick managed to keep peace. After a couple years, Lila joined me as a Senior Enchanter and Meric was promoted to Knight Captain, the three of us worked together to keep structure and turn the Circle into a home for the children. As the time went by, Meric and I became closer and Dorian slipped my mind more and more. I was settling into life within the Circle, being a teacher and basically mother, consumed me.

One night, after sending the children down for supper, Meric and I took the plunge, we were intimate, my first time having physical intercourse.” She raised her eyes, meeting my gaze once again. “You were never physical with Dorian in your youth?” I questioned, curious as to why, the man was insanely attractive.

“We fooled around, yes, did everything except, he would never take that final step with me, he said the time wasn’t right.” I nodded in understanding, she would have still been a child and Tevinter holds purity in high standards, a tad archaic, not at all like Orlais. When I looked back at Arya her face had turned sad again. I grabbed her hands in mine, “what happened?” I asked

“that night was amazing, but we couldn’t be public about or relationship, we had to hide, so we found a storage room and locked ourselves away within it, warded against sound. That’s the night Ostwick was attacked, Templar’s and Mage’s came from outside, they had heard of our peaceful state and wanted to force our hand. They attacked and everyone was killed, or taken, except Meric and I, we had been hidden and missed the attack. Once we emerged, all our friends were dead, even the children.” She wiped the tears from her face but kept talking. “we didn’t have weapons or armor and were therefore an easy target, a trio of Templar’s caught us, they disabled Meric and hit me with a Holy Smite.

When I awoke, I was being held captive somewhere in Arling of Amaranthine and Meric was nowhere to be seen.” She started shivering and I moved my chair closer to her. “They kept me chained in the tent, and violated me for weeks, I finally escaped with the help of Elenora, an elven servant.

Together she and I fled to the city, resting at the tavern until we were stronger. She went to Orlais and I went home to Ostwick. I hadn’t seen my family in years but had no idea where to go.”

“Did your family welcome you back?” I asked, although I knew the answer already, she wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t.

“Yes, my parents welcomed me home and nursed me back to health with the help of Alma, my instructor from Tevinter. Once I was well enough, I started my search for Meric and Lila, I sent letters to Kirkwall and the White Spire. I also made a trip to Minrathous, where Eliza was now living with her new husband. I learned that Dorian had disappeared shortly after I was taken by the Circle and his family hadn’t heard from him. I knew that I had no place in Tevinter, I was no longer a child and didn’t have a husband waiting for me, like I had thought.

But I also couldn’t stay with my family, the risk in harboring a mage is high, I didn’t want to put them in danger. I didn’t want to join the rebels, who had destroyed what I had become to think of as home. So that left the loyal mages and being locked back up…. none of them great choices really.

My mother took me to Antiva, where she has contacts. Did you know she was a bard there?” she asked me. “I did actually,” I said, “I have a friend who knows her.”

“Zevran?” she questioned, lifting the cup of Antivan kaffe,’ and I laughed.

“yes, good ol’ Zev,” I answered

She leaned forward then, “did you ever give into him?” she asked

I cocked my eyebrow, “how did you know he tried?”

She laughed, “you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me,” I countered

She shrugged, “okay, I saw it in a dream or a memory more like, at Haven, you, Solona, Alistair and Zevran were there, killing darkspawn, Alistair was proving his manliness and Zev was trying to convince you that you and he were the same, that the music of killing called to you and you needed to just let go, he offered to help the process along.”

I was speechless, she recanted the memory word-for-word, “how?” I asked. “Solas, showed me,” was her answer. Interesting……

“But to answer your question, no. I have yet to allow him… access,” I told her. She giggled then, “well next time the opportunity presents itself, I advise you to take it, he’s quite enjoyable.”

“What!?” I said and kaffe’ came burning out my nose, we both laughed at my unlady like spectacle. “You’ve slept with Zevran?” I asked after our laughter faded. “Yes, in Antiva, my mother tasked he and his companion Lucy with my entertainment, between the two of them, I was thoroughly entertained for three days,” her cheeks flushed as she realized what she’d just shared but I didn’t mind, I found it both adorable and intriguing, perhaps I could take her under my wing, after this whole Inquisition thing was over, of course. “I’ll take your advice to heart,” I told her.

‘Now, I’m the one digressing,” she said, then picked up her story, “In Antiva, I received responses to my letters, they all spoke of Justina’s peace talks and suggested that my friends would probably be there. Zev, told us that he had heard the Inquisition was going to be restarted, if the talks failed and my mother wanted someone representing our house present as such a huge event. So, it was decided that I’d attend the conclave.” She took a deep breath and I thought she’d stop but I wanted to hear more. “Was Meric there, at the conclave?” I asked

She nodded her head, eyes went from happy to sad, “yes and so much more,” her cheeks began to color, and I could see the pulse in her throat speed up. Hmmm something really got to her. “Well…. What did you find?” I probed again.

“I searched the gala for Meric but hadn’t found him, I was feeling discouraged and decided on a drink. While there, I scanned the crowd, my gaze caught a pair of golden eyes behind a metallic gray mask, blonde curls trying to escape from the sculpted style, we held each other’s gaze for while then he turned away. I was a little distracted by his broad shoulders and the commanding poise of him.”

She was smiling again, like a swooning girl. “Cullen?” I asked. “Yes,” she said, “I didn’t know who he was, but I assumed some type of general. When he turned his gaze back to me, I was still gawking at him and he gave me that smirk. I felt like such a fool and hid my embarrassment by slipping into the crowd of people. “Did you go find him or did he come find you? I asked. She shook her head, “no, there was another,” he eyes grew dark, lustful, and I felt my heart rate speed at her reaction. “he came up from behind me in the crowd, pulled me into his arms possessively, “I didn’t know you’d be here,” he whispered in my ears. Goosebumps sprang up on her arms and she shivered at the memory. “He thought I was someone else, and I should have stopped him, but I didn’t,” she looked at me, excitement in her eyes.

“Who was this man?” I asked, leaning in again, she shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said, “he carried me away, into a private room and… well… it was mind-blowing Lei, I had never and still have never felt anything like it. It wasn’t just the sex, something more, our bodies were in sync, as if we had been lovers in the past. Being with him was like seeing a future, a life, I didn’t even know existed. I don’t even know how to explain it but it took my breath away, all my careful placed boundaries, he bashed them into nothing, he drank of my body, my mana, he consumed me, but I didn’t even know his name.” she shook her head, a silent tear sliding down her freckled cheek. “Did he ever tell you his name?” I asked

“No,” she said

“Well, perhaps I will know who he is, what did he look like?” I asked

Her eyes went distant again, focusing behind me. “He had a mask on at first but after… it fell off. He was tall, with tan skin, eyes were a light hazel-brown, copper blonde hair that he styled so it stuck up in the front, he had stubble on his chin, that matched the hue of his hair, but a little darker.” As she was explaining I felt a knot in my gut… could it be? “Arya,” I interrupted her, “before, you said he thought you were someone else, did he tell you who?” Her face took on a stubborn look, jaw set defiantly. “Solona, he thought I was Solona,” she said

I kept my face neutral, if I told her I thought this mystery man was Alistair, she’d probably lose it and if so, does that mean he died at the conclave. “Huh, odd that so many people cross both your paths,” I said, and she nodded in agreement. “Anything else about him?” I asked.

“He wore the blue and silver of the Wardens, but I don’t think he was a warden, he had the powers of a Templar.” After that, I was almost certain this man was Alistair. “What do you mean, powers of a templar?” I asked. “Well, when we were intimate, he absorbed my mana, this can only be done by other mages or templars, it mimics lyrium so they… well they really like it.”

She sighed again, “afterwards, he said he had to leave, I didn’t see him again that night. Honestly, I thought he had been killed until… Val Royaeux.

I was on my way to Vivienne’s and he found me, he still wouldn’t tell me who he was. Some bullshit about being on the run.” Her eyes filled with shame, which turned quickly to anger.

“After our encounter at the conclave gala, that’s when I saw Meric, but he wasn’t the same. He called me evil and spit on me, he was going to have me executed but Cullen stopped him. Then I figured he was brainwashed, but now… I think he was infected. His eyes that night… they were red.”

“Infected with red lyrium?” I asked her and she nodded. “So that’s how you and Cullen knew each other, from the gala?” I asked, remembering the awkward introduction over the war table. “It was a very brief encounter, he stopped Meric from dragging me outside and helped me clean the spit off my face. He looked so miserable, I offered to take a walk with him but before we could, one of the scouts came and retrieved him.” Her face turned red and she met my eyes, “I shouldn’t have slept with him the other night, Leliana.”

“why, he is beautiful?” I asked. She nodded, “and very good, but I feel like I complicated things. He’s not the type for casual encounters, I can’t be his, I’m the Inquisitor.”

“And he is your Commander, he has a natural place at your side already, how can that be a bad thing?” I asked her.

“What if something happens to me, he’d blame himself, it’d destroy him.”

I just nodded, she wasn’t wrong.

“have you talked to him?’ I asked

“No,” she shook her head, “not in private, I haven’t seen anyone really.”

I knew she was meaning Dorian. “He’s been in the dungeon,” I told her.

“What?” she questioned

“Dorian, he’s been down there talking with Alexius, my people say the discussions have been heated.”

“We didn’t just leave him to die in Haven?” she asked, and I laughed at her ruthlessness, “That would have been practical but no, Tevinter only just released him into our custody, after stripping him of his title and holdings.”

“What do you mean, heated?” she asked, curiosity sparking in her eyes.

“My people called it a lover’s quarrel, have you ever considered that perhaps they were involved?” I had to ask, I’d seen how he watched our handsome Commander. As expected, her eyes widened in shock.

“What?! No… in Redcliff he and I…” I saw her brain processing, “huh, that’d explain his odd behavior,” she said biting her lip.

“I saw the incident between you and him on the mountain, but you didn’t see how devastated he was when we thought you had perished… now that I know more of your history, my guess would be that he is torn between his feelings for you and his sexuality,” I told her.

**Arya POV____________________________**

Could Leliana be right? I saw him eyeball Cullen on a few occasions but didn’t pay it much heed. I guess I could ask. The red headed spymaster was eyeballing me, “Don’t overthink what happened between you and Cullen, talk to him, he might surprise you,” she said with a shrug and stood, “I shall take my leave Inquisitor, thank your for sharing your story.”

“Thank you for listening, you were right, I feel much better,” I told her.

My quarters felt very lonely after she left, so I decided to leave as well. I was walking though the throne room when I saw Dorian head up the spiral stairway to the library. I took a deep breath and followed him, whatever was going on, we needed to figure it out. 

He was sitting in a sun filled alcove, he looked akin to a God, his olive skin shone against his royal blue robe. Seeing my approach he started muttering something, but I didn’t hear, enraptured by the sight of him. “Are you following me Arya?” he asked

I shook my head, “Yes, sorry, just distracted is all.”

“By my astonishing good looks and devilish charm?” he said using that same mischievous grin he always used on me and it had the same effect, turning me into a swooning mess.

“How can I help you Inquisitor; it is Inquisitor now isn’t it? and I’m sure you didn’t come up here just to stare longingly at me.” I felt my cheeks warm, I had completely forgotten why I came up here. He chose that moment to step close, wrap his arm around my waist and pull me against him, “or did you?” he whispered throatily in my ear. That did me in, and the moan that left my lips gave me away to him, I’m weak, so weak but I melted into him. “Why don’t we take this somewhere more private, where the people won’t see their Inquisitor’s soul being defiled by the evil Tevinter.” I stepped aside so he could lead the way through the library to his quarters. “I’m sorry to interrupt Inquisitor,” Farren’s voice came from behind me, “Varric’s friend awaits you on the battlements.”

“Tsk tsk and duty calls,” Dorian teased, “another time Inquisitor,” he said we a dramatic bow. Part of me couldn’t believe I wasn’t following him, but another part of me thanked Farren for the distraction, sleeping with him again would not make things less complicated.

 

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	42. To the Battlements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family reunion, Arya and Hawke (Sybil)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep going after Hawke's picture, I combined two shorter sections but wanted to keep the images tied to the correct spot.

* * *

 

The sun held enough warmth that the trek to the battlements made me sweat, but it felt lovely after Haven’s constant coldness. Varric was pacing back and forth as I approached, he seemed anxious.

“Inquisitor, meet Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall,” he said with a wave towards the tower. I hadn’t seen Sybil for at least 5 years, the summer before the summer I was taken to the Circle. She had just returned to Kirkwall from Ferelden, fleeing the Blight and my mother and I went to visit their newly acclimated Hightown Estate. Her blond hair had grown out, falling past her shoulders, but her piercing blue eyes were the same, the kind of intense that drew you in. “Arya!” she said pulling me into a hug, “it’s been awhile, cousin.”

“what you two are related?!” Varric was surprised, “y’all must have some strong blood Hero, Champion and Inquisitor, Impressive.”

“Well, Hawke,” he said, “I figured you may have some friendly advice about Corypheus, you and I did fight him after all?”

With a heavy sigh, Sybil made her way to the edge of the battlements, leaning against them. I followed suit. “You’ve already dropped half a mountain on the bastard, I’m sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison.”

“Oh, I don’t know, you did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari”

“I don’t see how that really applies or is there a horde of rampaging Qunari I don’t know about?”

“There’s a Qunari, he almost qualifies as a horde by himself, fortunately he’s on our side,” I shrugged

“Sooo then, what can I tell you?” she asked

There is so much I wanted to talk to her about but now was time to focus on business, “Varric said you fought Corypheus before?” I started off simple

She sighed, “Fought and killed. The Wardens were holding him and he somehow used his connection to the Blight to control them.”

Varric stepped towards us, “Corypheus got into their heads, messed with their minds. Turned them against each other.”

Hawke was nodding, “If the Wardens have disappeared, they could have fallen under his control again. And that would be bad.”

“If that’s what happened, do you think we can free them?” I asked, I was really hoping for an alliance.

“It’s possible but we need to know more first,” Sybil said, “I have a friend in the Wardens, he was investigating something unrelated for me, his name is Alistair. The last time we spoke he was worried about corruption in their ranks, since then…. nothing.”

Varric took a long swig from the bottle he had ahold of, “Corypheus supporters would certainly qualify as corruption in the ranks,” he said turning to Sybil, “did your friend disappear with them?”

“No,” she shook her head, “he told me he’d be hiding in an old smugglers cave near Crestwood

Sybil seems to have a lot of interaction with the Wardens, “If you didn’t know about Corypheus, what were you doing with the Wardens?” I asked curiosity playing at my mind.

“The Templars in Kirkwall were using a strange form of lyrium, it was red, I hoped the Wardens could tell me more about it,” she answered

Red lyrium again… wonderful, “Corypheus had Templars with him at Haven, they looked like they had been exposed to the lyrium you describe.”

A look of disgust and disappointment crossed her features, “Hopefully, Alistair will know more.”

“Thank you, Sybil, I appreciate the help,” I told her

“I’m doing this for myself as much as you, Corypheus is my responsibility, I thought I had killed him before, this time I’ll make sure of it,” she said voice determined

Varric tossed the bottle he was milking, “Fucking Corypheus” and started walking toward the stairs, “I’ll let you two catch up, I’ll be in Herald’s Rest if you need me.”

Once the dwarf had disappeared, I turned to my cousin.

“Sybil, how’s the family? Your friends?” I asked

“My mother was murdered, tore apart by a blood mage, my sister Bethany, she’s a Warden now, when this mess started, I had Aveline take her as far from Orlais as possible,” she said, “I must protect my family.”

I took her hand, offering support.

“I’m never happy leaving Anders alone, but once I realized Wardens were acting strangely, I had no choice. I’ve seen Corypheus affect Anders’ mind before. If he was involved, I couldn’t risk that happening again.”

Sybil’s eyes were fierce, she always was the protector. I remembered one time as young children; we went to Ferelden for a visit. I was picked on by an older boy. Sybil, being a year my senior, marched up to that boy and shoved his face into a draffalo pie, he never messed with me again.

 “I must say,” she continued, “I was surprised when Varric reached out, saying he was part of the Inquisition, he’s not one for religion in general but he speaks highly of you and the Inquisition. I think the exact phrase was ‘has a good shot at fixing Blondie’s mess.’”

“He also keeps talking about a storm cloud of a Seeker, I think he may have a little crush,” she winked. I laughed, “wait until you travel with them, they bicker like a married couple.”

“Can you tell me more about Anders? What’s he like?” I asked

“Complicated, its not like the minstrels make it out to be. He’s not _just_ a monster, or a _hero_ , maybe he’s _both._ He was trying to change the world. He knew it couldn’t happen peacefully,” her voice was full of pride.

“I’m glad we get to work together Sybil, it’ll be nice having family around,” I said with a smile

“I’ll meet you in Crestwood Arya,” she said, giving me another hug.

“Oh wait?” You said your friend’s name is Alistair?” Like THE Alistair?” I couldn’t help asking, I have this persona of him, charming, funny, attractive but have yet to put a face to it.

A slow smile spread across her face, “You’ve always been fascinated by the story of the Hero of Ferelden, her dashing companions and their adventures. I hear you have a couple of them with you here, right? Leilana and Knight Captain Cullen, well he’s not Knight Captain anymore, but to me he always will be. I remember the first time I met him, he was about to stab his sword through a recruit he thought was possessed, Maker he was sexy,” her eyes went dreamy.

“And then, once he found out I was an Amell, he told me how he ‘knew an Amell once, a very ‘special’ lady… have yet to meet the likes of her.’” she said mimicking a gruff voice.

“Even all those years later he still swooned over Solona. I remember feeling jealous of this girl who I’d never even met. Fuck even Anders has a history with her…. either that girl got around or we are just doomed to fall under her shadow.”

I started laughing and Sybil followed suit. “Thank Andraste, I thought I was the only one who saw it. Yes, Cullen is here and yes is his still sexy and damn… well…”

“Arya!” She shouted, covering her mouth with her hand “have you slept with him?

“Just once and I shouldn’t have, but so far it’s been worth the consequences,” I winked at her and she fanned herself.

“Well good thing, that’ll prepare you for meeting THE Alistair, he is well… fuck Arya, I’d wager to say he puts Cullen in his place,” she said with a frustrated head shake

“Have you, been with him?” I asked

She shook her head with a small sad smile, “No, he’s complex… he has some thick walls. You know he hasn’t, well until recently, he never wanted to get involved with a girl. Quick trysts here and there to meet a need but no emotional attachment, what happened between him and Solona was rough on him. But now, at least the last time I saw him, he was different, he had light in his eyes once again. I think he may have found someone, although he’s been on the run, so I highly doubt it’s gotten very far.”

We hung out on the battlements until the sun started to set, catching up. Then she mounted up and headed for Crestwood.

* * *

 

* * *

 

The sunset was lovely, and I walked along the battlements enjoying it until I ran into the tower that Cullen had claimed as his own. I leant against the wall next to his door, staring out across the pinkening snow topped mountains. I need to talk to him, but I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I can’t say I’m not attracted to the man, there is definitely something there. A tension, a possibility of something more even, but I just didn’t want to go there now. How do you say it, “I think you’re sexy, but my heart belongs to another, so for now, can we just keep it casual while I decide if this other guy wants to be with me?”

That sounds horrible, my head was buried in my hands and I didn’t hear the approaching footsteps. “Inquisitor?” a deep voice questioned me. Lowering my hands, I was met with those golden eyes, light from the sunset making them flicker like candle flames, Maker he was gorgeous. His lips curled up into that smirk and I blushed, “Will you at least help with the door?” he asked, chuckling behind his words. Shaking myself from his gaze, I looked down to see he had an arm load of paperwork, “Piss, I’m so sorry,” I said grabbing the door for him. That’s twice in one day I let these guys catch me ogling, what is wrong with me. Following him inside, I shut the door and took a breath to compose myself. I heard him fumbling around with papers and books, “I apologize for the mess, still haven’t settled in,” he was saying.

“It’s alright... I” I started to say but he beat me

“We set up as best we could at Haven,” he was rubbing the back of his neck, anxiety showing through, “but could never have been prepared for an archdemon or whatever that thing was... with some warning we might have…” his words trailed off as he took a few steps in my direction. I unknowingly did the same.

“We were all shaken by what happened,” I said, trying for comfort.

“If Corypheus strikes again, we might not be able to withdraw… I wouldn’t want too... we must be ready.” He took another step and I did the same, “Work on Skyhold is underway, guard rotations are established, we should have everything on course within the week. We will not run from here Inquisitor,” he said, voice commanding.

“How many were lost?” I questioned

“Most of our people made it to Skyhold, it could have been worse. Morale was low but it’s improved greatly since you accepted role of Inquisitor,” he was shaking his head, not sure if it was at me or some random thought.

“Inquisitor Trevelyan, it sounds odd, don’t you think?” I asked

He took another step, we were almost touching distance now, “Not at all.”

“Is that the official response?” I asked and he chuckled, “I suppose it is.”  

Another step, this time I could smell his scent, strong and welcoming blade oil, and elderflower, “but it’s the truth, we needed a leader and you proved yourself.”

“Thank you, Cullen,” I said, “Our escape from Haven… it was close, I’m relieved that yo…that so many… made it out,” I was stumbling over my words. “As am I,” he said voice low.

I went to step back, feeling embarrassed by my fumbling but he caught me with a hand on my arm, gentle but firm. Pulling me towards him, closing the last of the distance between us, “You stayed behind, you could have…” he brought his hand up to my cheek, “I will never allow the events at Haven to happen again, you have my word.”

I didn’t know what to do, his eyes burned with the intensity of his promise. The privacy surrounding us weighing heavily, I felt the need to kiss him, to taste the devotion on his full lips. My determination to stop whatever this is before it got out of control, fighting with the warm, wetness building within my core. Maker my determination was losing. “Cullen,” I said voice husky, “I… we…”

He smiled, “Arya,” his voice equaled mine in its huskiness, “I know now is not a good time for something real to build, we both have our plates full and the Inquisition needs our focus but…” he smirked and watched as my eyes drifted down to his lips. Which he lowered to mine, hungry groan rumbling in his throat.

  
  



	43. Decisions, Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya and her inner circle make some difficult choices, are they the correct ones?

* * *

 The war table was filled with missions and tasks to be completed. It was overwhelming, I didn’t know where to start. Leliana and Josie suggested focusing on Orlais. Cullen and Cassandra thought checking in on Ferelden would be best. We knew only three things for sure:

  * That someone was going to try killing Empress Celene
  * A demon army of some sort, was in the mix
  * Something curious was going on with the Wardens



“Queen Anora set an apology for her harsh behavior when she met us in Redcliff,” Josie said.

“Hmph, what’s she want?” Leliana asked, annoyance in her voice. 

“Can she not simply want to apologize?” I asked.

Josie and Leilana both shook their heads, “no,” they said in unison.

“Nobility never just want to apologize.”

“Especially not Anora Therin, she’s the worst type of them, power grabbing bitch,” Leliana spat

“Sounds like there is some bad blood there?” I stated

“Solona put that rat on the throne, it should have been Alistair’s, but he didn’t want to rule. Leading didn’t come naturally to him, plus if he was King, they couldn’t be together. Mage’s can’t hold a title, so a mage as Queen would have been blasphemy. Back then, the nobility never would have stood for it, they would have been ridiculed,” she was saying, anger still in her voice, “I wonder if that’d be different now, since we have a mage as Inquisitor?” her sea green eyes looking curiously at me. 

“She thinks there is a spy in her ranks and would like us to help root them out,” Cullen’s husky voice cut in, bringing goosebumps to my flesh.

“Oooo, I know just the perfect scout, or maybe an Antivan crow would be better” Leliana said, eyes dreamy, her innocent face never faltering, even when fantasizing of assassinations.

“A Queen should have a blatant show of power, send troops to help,” Cullen suggested

“Send the troops,” I said moving Cullen’s marker over Denerim. Last thing I needed was someone to accidentally get killed.

“What! I wouldn’t really have done it, a fantasy is just that, acting on them is when the trouble comes,” Leliana said, holding her hand to her chest in mock hurt.

“Empress Celene is holding peace talks between her, Duke Gaspard and Ambassador Briella,” Josie announced, “she is also holding a ball at the same time.”

“Sounds like the perfect place for an assassination attempt” Leliana commented.

“I agree,” this from Cullen, “As much as I despise parties, we should have a presence there.”

Leliana giggled, “Inquisitor, you should have seen the fuss he put up when we made him go to the conclave gala… and dress up… how horrible we are.”

Cullen rolled his eyes, “they’re pointless trysts,” he said

“Our Inquisitor is happy you were there,” Leliana said winking at me

I felt my cheeks redden, “I guess I need to go shopping, get us an invitation to that ball Josephine.”

“What did Hawke have to say?” Cullen asked, moving the subject quickly from dancing and shopping.

I hadn’t even given that report yet, how’d he know who Varric’s friend was.

“How’d you know?” I asked

“Well, who else would have Cassandra so wound up, you should have seen her storming through the courtyard this morning,” he said shaking his head.

I could picture it perfectly, brows furrowed and that disgusted smile, stomping but doing so gracefully, across the muddy training yard. For a warrior of her skill, she moves quite lithely. I smiled at the picture… I’ll have to check in on her after this.

“Sybil, said that she found Corypheus in an old Warden prison, he was able to control the minds of the Wardens and sent them after her,” I started

“He can control the Wardens' minds?” Josie questioned with a shudder

“So, it could be that they have fallen under his influence and that’s why they have disappeared...” Leliana mused

“How?” asked Cullen

“Sybil doesn’t know but she has a friend in the Wardens who may,” I continued

“This friend hasn’t gone missing?” Josie asked

“What of Blackwall, he hasn’t mentioned anything seeming off,” Cullen asked on her tail

“I haven’t talked to Blackwall about it, so I don’t know that answer Commander,” I answered, “Sybil says Warden Alistair is hiding out in Crestwood, I believe that should be our next stop,” I continued, moving the Inquisitor’s board piece to Crestwood on the map.

Silence greeted me, when I raised my head Leliana started at me, eyes sparkling with curiosity and Cullen looked like he wanted to break something. I met Josie’s gaze and she shrugged.

“What is it?’ I asked

“Alistair?” Cullen spat, banging his fist against the table

“Yes, Alistair, what of it?”

Leliana giggled, “Well…. this will be interesting.”

“Right, then I will prepare for the trip to Crestwood, Inquisitor,” Josie said, ignoring the tension.

* * *

Cassandra wasn’t spending time with the training dummies as usual, not a good sign. I herd scuffling as I passed the small side door to the smithy. Walking in, I was met my yelling and the sound of chairs being roughly tossed around.

“You knew where Hawke was all along!” Cassandra said pushing the dwarf against a table.

“You’re damn right I did!” Varric yelled back standing as tall as he could

“You conniving little shit,” she swung at him but he deftly dodged her attack, running under her arm and ending up behind her

“You kidnapped me, you interrogated me, what did you expect?!” his voice was cracking, on the edge of tears

“Hey enough!” I called, stepping between my two friends before they actually hurt one-another

“You’re talking his side!” Cassandra turned her anger on me

“I said enough!” my voice taking on an edge of its own, this was ridiculous

Varric took this opportunity to storm away, fuming and grumbling from the far corner of the room.

“We needed someone to lead this Inquisition, first Leliana and I searched for the Hero of Ferelden, but she had vanished. Then we looked or Hawke, but she was gone too. We thought it all connected but no it was just you.” she looked at Varric, “Hawke was our only hope. She was the Viscount of Kirkwall, she commanded respect, and you kept her from us.”

Varric raised his hand to me, “the Inquisition has a leader,” he said

“Hawke would have been at the conclave, if anyone could have saved Most Holy…” her words trailed off

At this point, I was feeling a tad put off. I’ve been doing the best I can, is it not enough? Does Cassandra wish another filled my role? But now wasn’t the time for self-pity.

“You can’t change the past Cassandra,” I said

Her eyes dropped, “So I must accept... what? That the Maker wanted this to happen? That He... that He…” she looked utterly defeated. It reminded me of Leliana that day Haven. I felt for her, for them both. All she has ever known, all that her identity is bound too, all her core values and beliefs, tossed at her feet and shat upon.

“Even after the conclave, when we needed Hawke most, Varric kept her a secret,” she said but this time her accusations were empty

“She’s with us know, we’re on the same side!” Varric sighed

 Cassandra’s nose scrunched up in her classic look of disgust, “We all know whose side you’re on Varric. It will never be the Inquisition’s,” she spat at him

“Varric’s earned his right to be here Cassandra, just as the rest of us have,” I told her

“Thank you,” Varric replied

With a heavy sigh Cassandra turned away from us, “I must not think of what could have been. We have so much at stake. Go Varric…just go.”

Varric stared at the Seeker, I saw the mixture of emotions run through his face, he wanted to go to her, offer comfort, he really does care for our grumpy warrior. But instead, with a shake of his head, he left.

“I believed him,” she said once the door creaked to a close, “he spun his story for me, and I swallowed it. If I’d just explained what was at stake… if I’d just made him understand… but I didn’t, did I? I didn’t explain why we needed Hawke. I’m such a fool.”

“what if you hadn’t believed him, what if you tracked Hawke down?” I asked.

“Honestly Hawke may not have even agreed to become Inquisitor, she supported the Templar's in Kirkwall, but she had so many enemies, I could have been one of them. But this isn’t about Hawke or even Varric… not truly… I should have been more careful... I should have been smarter. I don’t deserve to be here.”

I smiled inside, I guess it is the time for self-pity.

“You’re too hard on yourself Cassandra,” I told her

“Not hard enough, I think” she humphed

“You can’t believe that,” I replied

Another heavy sigh “I want you to know, I have no regrets. Maybe if we’d found Hawke or the Hero of Ferelden, the Maker wouldn’t have needed to send you, but He did. You’re not what I pictured but if I’ve learned anything, its that I know less than nothing,” she said before making her way back outside.

After Cassandra had calmed down, I searched for Varric, he was in the Herald’s Rest, staring forlornly into a mug of ale.

“That got a little… heated… are you alright?”

“Well, that depends, how angry is Cassandra,” he said, “I wasn’t trying to keep secrets. I told the Inquisition everything that seemed important at the time.”

“I know Varric, you wouldn’t have shut up otherwise,” I chided

He laughed, “I know I need to do better, I’m sorry.”

Taking a seat next to him, I hailed the barkeep for a mug myself. I hadn’t spent time in the tavern since Haven. Before long Sera, Bull and Krem were sitting with us. Apparently Krem had a thing for the bard and tonight he was going to make his move. “if you keep her mouth busy, she won’t be able to sing!” Sera was saying excitedly.

* * *

My jaw hurt from all the laughing I did, “it’s been so long since I felt this light,” I was thinking to myself as I walked up the steps of the Keep. “A moment Inquisitor?” Leliana’s soft voice came from behind me.

I turned to my spymaster, the full moon’s light made her pale skin glow and shadows caused her hair to glisten like rubies. She stepped close, raising a hand to reposition a curl that had fallen over my eyes. My stomach began to flip flop at her intimate touch. “fuck my body, I need to find someone to help curb my insane lust,” I thought. “I want to tell you something,” she began, “I can’t say for certain, but I believe that your mystery man is Alistair.”

**Leliana POV________**

I saw her eyes dilate and face flush as I lowered my hand from her hair. Still fighting with her morals, but her body craves intimacy. “who could be just casual fun for our lovely Inquisitor,” I wondered. She was starting to squirm under the silence.

That’s right, I wanted to tell her about Alistair, give her some warning before she jumped into the lion’s den. “I can’t say for certain, but I believe your mystery man is Alistair,” I said.

Her eyes widened in shock and then bitterness crossed her face. “no wonder he wouldn’t tell me his name,” tears started spilling down her cheeks, “why can’t anyone just like me for me, not as a replacement for her.” Then she turned and ran toward her quarters.

“burning, sickening, hurt, regret that I am me,” Cole said, appearing next to me, eyes following her retreat. “How can we help?” I asked the spirit. “calloused hands along skin, smells like sandalwood, but another like blade oil, says he sees me, then youthful bliss,” his words trailed off as he disappeared.

She is torn between them, she needs someone else, someone with no relationship to Solona, someone she shares no history with, someone to release tension. The sounds of bare feet stopped behind me, “can I be of assistance?” I turned to see Solas, yes, he’d be perfect.

**Solas POV_______**

The spymaster was standing in the middle of the throne room. I could hear Cole muttering, she seemed to be trying to communicate with the spirit, “may I be of assistance?" I asked her. Keen green eyes met mine, a smirk spreading across her face. She motioned towards the Inquisitor’s quarters, “can you console her?” her question seemed simple but there was weight behind her words. “Console her?” I questioned “what is the issue?” Leliana sighed, “She’s having an issue of a more personal nature, she needs somebody to distract her mind, can you do that?”

“She called on me before when her mind was troubled, I don’t see why I can’t help again,” I shrugged and headed towards Arya’s quarters. 

**Arya POV_______**

I heard a knock, followed by quiet, almost silent footsteps on the stairs. Pulling one of the dress robes from its hook, I covered my naked body from the visitor. I had started to fill the copper tub with water for a bath, the smell of Dawn lotus filled the space. “Don’t stop on my account,” came a soft voice from the stairs.

“Solas?” I asked, surprised to see him. He stood, hands resting on his low back. The firelight highlighted his features, turning them darker than usual, more sensual. Lifting his hand toward the tub he warmed the water until steam began to lift from its depths. He turned away, “go ahead” he said, giving me privacy to settle into the warmth. Once I was settled, he walked over to my side, pulled a stool from the closet and placed it next to the tub. “May I?” he asked holding the pitcher up. I nodded and he dipped it into the water. Positioning himself behind my head, he poured the water, wetting my hair. I felt his hands next, twining themselves in my heavy curls. A moan escaped my lips as he started to massage my scalp with his strong slender fingers.

**Solas POV_________**

She moaned as I massaged the tension from her temples. I felt my body react to the sound, involuntary pressure building. Looking over her shoulder, water droplets rested on the swell of her breasts, sparkling in the flickering firelight. Her body relaxed more and more as I worked, I let healing follow the length of my fingers and she let out another soft sigh, “Solas,” her voice was throaty, “why did you come?” I chuckled, leaning down to her ear I whispered, “A little bird told me you needed something to distract your mind.” Goosebumps sprouted along her exposed skin from the warmth of my breath at her ear. It was suddenly clear what was unspoken in Leliana’s request.

**Arya POV_______**

I felt it then, subtle, his tongue caressing my earlobe. My breath caught in my chest, heart rate quickening. Could he be the key to satisfying this intense need burning within me? I thought back to that dream, our bodies entwined in the midst of pleasure, and felt my insides clinch at the memory. Hot water poured slowly across my forehead, as he rinsed the soap from my curls. “I’ll go get your robe,” he purred against my ear. Glancing after him, I waited until he had disappeared into the little closet that held linens. “Its now or never,” I though to myself, then stood silhouetting my form perfectly against the fire and arching back to ring the water from my long hair. I heard his gasp when he stepped back into the room. In a moment he was behind me, damn his fade step was fast.

His hands felt chilled against the heat of my body as he placed them at my hips, lifting me easily from the copper tub. He was stronger than I expected. Placing me directly in front of him, he wrapped the robe around me. I looked up into his hungry eyes. Why cover me? I decided he needed to know it was okay, so as we stood there staring into each other’s desire filled eyes. I reached forth with my mana, gently rubbing it along him, a smile crossed his lips. I didn’t want a smile, I wanted him lust filled and devouring me. So, I pushed harder, mana swirling through his blood, down to where it filled his dick, hard and long. His eyes rolled back in his head, his fingers digging into my hips, a groan in his throat, sparks darted across our skin where we touched. This time when he met my gaze again, there was no more laughter, there was just need.

**Solas_____**

The surge of her power within me set my blood on fire. This creature shouldn’t be able to do that to me, to break through my walls with such ease. Looking at her eyes, so dark they looked black, I felt a hunger awaken, something that I hadn’t felt for a millennium. Could she take all of what I am, who I am? Her lips were slightly parted, a blue glow just under her skin, her power ripe and ready for me, just like her body. Crushing her lips with mine I let go, first time since Mythal.

She gasped but it wasn’t in fear, it was in ecstasy. My power filled the room, it’s weight heavy, hers met my own. I don’t know if she was channeling the Anchor or if this was just her, of all the mortals, human or elvhen, none have been able to hold against me. Whimpers came from her lips as they devoured mine. Our tongues exploring and dancing. Her fingers pulling at the buckle of my robe, searching for flesh to claim. I lifted her, carrying her to the bed and tossing her upon it, her robe sliding down, exposing taunt nipples. Her breath caught as my robe hit the floor, fingers sliding between her wet folds. I was hovering above her in an instant, “let me” I cooed replacing her fingers with my own. Her inner thighs were slick with desire and I lapped it up with my tongue. She tasted sweet, “Solas, please” she said, her plea undoing me. Claiming her lips once more, I eased my tip into her core, she arched her hips allowing me to slide in unobstructed. Her muscles clenched around me and I stilled letting them relax, then pulled out and thrust as deep as I could go, her scream of pleasure rebounded off the walls

  



	44. Crestwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team makes it to Crestwood and find it to be full of well.... undead

* * *

I’ll never understand why Ferelden is so wet. No matter where we go, it is always raining. Crestwood was no different, dark, dank and dreary. Scout Harding’s mood seemed to be in line with the weather. “We’ve got trouble ahead,” she called as we approached. “Red Templars?” I asked

“not this time,” she motioned to the lake, green glow rising from its depths, “Crestwood was the site of a flood 10 years ago during the Blight. After the rift appeared corpses starting walking out of the lake. You’ll have to fight through them to get to the cave Hawke’s Grey Warden friend is hiding in. The people of Crestwood are in dire need of help, perhaps one of them can tell you how to get to the rift in the lake. Good luck, Inquisitor, you’ll need it.”

Varric, Blackwall, Dorian and I followed the muddy path toward he village. “Undead,” Blackwall called as we crested a hill. A pair of men dressed in blue and silver were battling a handful of them. Jumping into the fray, slipping into stealth mode, I appeared behind two, slicing my daggers down their back, channeling flames to consume their flesh.

“will you stay to protect the village” I asked the two Wardens, “Unfortunately, our orders are taking us elsewhere, we are searching for one of our own,” the senior Warden stated, “Alistair seems to have eluded us yet again.”

“yet again?” I asked

“We have been on his trail since Orlais, chased him through Val Royaeux, the Stormcoast and now Crestwood, not sure where he’s headed,” he explained

“I’m glad we haven’t caught him, I don’t want to fight against the one who saved us all during the Blight,” said the younger Warden.

“Thanks for your service,” I nodded

“And yours, Inquisitor.”

Seems his claim to being on the run wasn’t a bullshite excuse to pull the wool over my eyes. It almost makes me regret slapping him… almost. I giggled, thinking back to his ridiculous grin.

I’m not sure if you could really call Crestwood a village, there were more corpses then living people prowling its water drenched streets. We helped a couple guards clear the gate then made our way to the Mayor’s house. He was a short man, pale from living so long under clouded skies. An aura of sorrow seemed to shroud him, his eyes were sunk in and had long since lost their light. “The dam controls are in the fort,’ he motioned East, “but it’s overrun by highway men.”

“Your people are dying Ser, please let us help you” I begged the shrewd man.

“This sad hovel called a village, will soon be erased,” Dorian added.

“Here is the key to dam controls, they were destroyed by darkspawn during the blight, but you can try your hand at draining the lake,” he said, handing us the key with a dismissive wave of his hand.

It was discouraging to see such a broken man. “We will give your people a chance at life,” I promised as we walked out.

The fort, Caer Bronach, was overrun by lowlifes, feeding on refugees and travelers along the Imperial Highway. Safe from the undead behind the fortresses walls. It took us maybe an hour to turn them all into piles of dust. I watched pridefully as Varric and Blackwall looted the corpses for anything of value.

Dorian was standing at the battlements, looking out over the country side. “Quaint area, Ferelden, but I must say, they live like barbarians, don’t they?” he asked as I stepped up beside him.

He reached out, wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. The gesture was endearing, I rested my head into the curve of his shoulder. Moments like this melted my heart. “We should throw the Inquisition’s banner over the battlements. The villagers may not even object,” he suggested.

“Would you like to do the honor?” I asked and he chuckled, “By all means, let the Vint lay claim,” he raised his eyebrows suggestively at me, causing me to laugh, as I tossed the banner into his arms.

I sent a raven to Skyhold alerting Leliana to the newly acquired fort. I sent Varric and Blackwall back to Scout Harding, so she could bring our forces. “Let’s go offer the people safe haven,” I said holding my hand out to Dorian. His eyes turned sorrowful, “Haven wasn’t so safe last time,” he mumbled, pulling me into a tight embrace.

We made our way back into the village, gathering those who still lived and bringing them to Caer Bronach for safety. Once everyone was inside, we made our way through the fort, down a small path to a deserted tavern. Mugs and menus laid out on the tables, as if the people just up and disappeared, odd.

Small whimpers came from one of the rooms, we were about to storm in when whimpers turned to moans of pleasure. “Well now, let’s not interrupt,” Dorian smiled.

An adjacent room held the controls for the dam, which surprisingly weren’t broken at all… also odd. With a couple turns, I heard a rumbling, as water drained from the lake.

From our perch atop the dam, we were able to see what the lake covered, there was an entire town down there. Old houses left to the mercy of the water and aquatic plants. And the smell was horrid, like rot and death. As I gazed at the site, I saw things moving in and out of the dilapidated houses. “Are those spirits?” I asked anyone who was listening.

“And demons,” Varric said pointing toward the glowing shape of a rage demon

“And undead,” Blackwall added to the mix

“As much as I hate to say it, I think we may need Solas,” Dorian said with a sigh

We all nodded in agreement and headed back to the fort, to gather our spirit expert.

* * *

 

Taking the slippery path down to what the locals called “Old Crestwood” was quite the feat. Demons and undead roamed the space. Spirits floated here and there, some talking, some just hovering. Solas was silent listening to something the rest of us couldn’t hear. At the Eastern end of Old Crestwood was the entrance to the tunnels, which lead out to the rift. The doors creaked and fought against being opened, thankfully Blackwall had the kick of a champion and managed to loosen them up enough for us to squeeze inside. The tunnels were dark, slimy stalactites and stalagmites dotted the expanse. But they must have been used for something because there were torches and wooden scaffolds leading the way. They went lower and lower until eventually we ended up in dwarven ruins.

“The ancient dwarven civilizations had a far reach,” Varric said.

“Nugs seem to really like it,” Solas’ first comment since we started our decent.

“For once, can we enter a cave with normal sized spiders?” Dorian shivered, as giant skittering spiders leaped from the ceiling.

Our fighting had become so efficient we had them dead in a matter of seconds. “This way,” I said letting the Anchor guide us deeper into the ruins.

“Should we have left bread crumbs to ensure us getting back out?” Dorian jested.

“Nah, we’ll let Varric lead us,” I said.

“Andraste’s holy knickers, I hope not,” the dwarf said shaking his head.

“There,” I pointed at the green hue filling the darkness, “just a bit further.”

Stepping into a large chamber of some sort, we were face-to-face with a huge rift. It was almost as big as the Breach, demons spewed from its inky depths.

My companions jumped the demons, allowing me unobstructed access to the rift. Reaching into its core, I found the frayed strings and started pulling them together. The Anchor sang as it absorbed and channeled the green energy. “Now,” Solas yelled and I pulled it closed.

The spirts and demons dissipated, thrusting us into darkness once again. “Now what?” Dorian asked

“This way, I feel a breeze” Solas said shooting balls of light, highlighting our path out.

We ended up taking a different route out, then we had coming in. Following the daylight, we emerged into a grove of trees. And to my surprise, it was actually sunny, no rain at all and the sunlight held warmth. A small lake shimmered to the right of the cave entrance, elfroot lined its slops. “hey this isn’t so bad,” Dorian said, running his fingers through his hair, “what’s next?”

“Let’s go back to Caer Bronach and check on the locals, I think it’s that direction,” I said leading the group southeast.

Our first stop was at the Mayor’s house, and he apparently had disappeared. A letter was left, admitting to flooding the town on purpose. According to him, all the villagers had the blight, at least all that were left behind.

Upon returning to the fort, we were approached by Charter, the commanding officer. “Inquisitor, villagers and travelers are still camped out, many are wounded or just plain scared to return to their homes. Reinforcements are expected from Skyhold before end of day tomorrow. We could use your help in the meantime”

Glancing around, there were a few scouts but most of the people were civilians. Sybil was waiting for us but we’d have to keep her waiting another day. “Get me a raven,” I asked, “Solas, Dorian can you help tend the wounded? Cassandra, Blackwall please start some food, these people need something in their bellies. Varric, lets scout this fort, I saw many a locked door.”

“Amatus, I sure like it when you take charge,” Dorian whispered in my ear, causing a shiver to run through me, “tonight,” his promise rolled off his lips like velvet.

“Come on Inquisitoriainess, let’s go find you some parchment,” Varric said shaking his head.

_Sybil,_

_Delayed at Caer Bronach awaiting reinforcements, villagers in dire need. Be to you within 48 hours._

_Best_

I watched as the raven headed inland, “How is it that they know where to go,” I wondered to myself.

 

  
  



	45. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya and Dorian have a heart-to-heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut and angst and fluff in this chapter, just FYI

* * *

Turns out Blackwall is actually a decent cook. He made a huge vat of ram stew. Cassandra, in seems, got put on the task of finding some ale. “Inquisitor” she called, “help me with this?” she motioned to a couple kegs of something strong. We moved them into the main courtyard and broke them open offering mugs to all.

With a belly full of stew and ale, I found myself up on the battlements. The sun was just setting over Lake Calenhad and I found my mind wondering. What was I going to do about Alistair? It’s been so busy since we arrived, I hadn’t had a chance to think about my elusive mystery man. I wanted to be angry with him for not sharing his identity but in a way, I understand why he did it. I am guilty of the same thing, I didn’t tell him I was the Herald, I didn’t want him to think differently of me. I wanted to keep what we had separate, one thing that wasn’t mixed up in this mess. Back when we first met at the gala, I didn’t understand what it meant to have a duty but now… now I do.”

**Dorian POV_______________**

She was leaning against the pole holding the Inquisition banner, her banner. Leather and mail patched leggings fit snug against her toned legs. A sapphire blue silk tunic hung to just below the knees, over it was a bodice of obsidian protecting her core. She was lovely, silhouetted by the setting sun, red highlights gleaming in her curls. She was deep in thought, I could tell by the tension in her shoulders. Who or what was she thinking about? Seeing her standing there reminded me of one of the last times I saw her before leaving my parents estate.

_It was sunset and she was standing on the balcony of her room, staring out over the courtyard. She was watching Eliza, dance with her newly betrothed. The engagement party had just ended, all the guests were finally gone but Magister Tallis, had asked the bard for one final dance before he had to leave the side of his soon to be bride. She watched, face peaceful yet sad. She smelled like Dawnlotus when I came up behind her, pulling her against my chest. She sank into me, as any lover would have. “Dorian?” she asked, “What does the future hold for us?” I didn’t know what to tell her. I was about to leave for Minrathous, and she was going back home to the Free Marches. My father had mentioned me marrying a few times, but I wasn’t fond of the idea, I didn’t want to marry without love, just for legacy or politics. But I did love Arya, I had always loved this girl. Could we have a future? She wasn’t Tevinter but I know of others who married in. I’d have to ask my father about it. “Dance with me Little Amatus,” I said spinning her to face me. The bard’s lute played beautifully, bouncing off the brick walls of the courtyard but its beauty didn’t compare to hers. I let all my feelings fill my eyes and hoped… Maker, let her see. “I don’t have an answer for you Arya,” I told her, “but know that whatever the future brings, I hope it involves us being together.” She smiled and it was the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen._

This was of course before, before Alexius and before I developed feelings for Felix. I had been stunned by how quickly I went from being friends with my patron’s son to it being more. He had initiated the relationship, but I wanted it, enjoyed it, loved it and him. Felix and I were always together then, we didn’t care the rumors or scandalous stories. We had each other and that is all that mattered. Then, the darkspawn attack and he grew more and more ill, became more and more distant. My heart was broken, and I didn’t think I could ever love again, ever feel like that again. Alexius withdrew and I went off into the sunset, seeking pleasure in whatever man would let me in his bed. I never touched a woman again, not until Redcliff.

And now here we are, I want to be with her, offer her the future we had dreamed of as children. But I’m afraid, I am a gay man and that isn’t going away. I love her that I do not deny, but I will never love her the way she deserves. If I asked, if I went there, she would be mine, this I am sure of. It wouldn’t be fair for me to keep her away from someone who can give her a future, someone like Cullen. I know he went to her that night at the encampment, Leliana is good but I know her game. She is pushing them to one another, she sees the strength in that future and she’s correct. 

I took a step toward her and she vanished, “You’ll have to catch me first,” her voice sounded excited, joyful and I couldn’t help but feel it too, despite my musing.

**Arya POV________**

I felt Dorian’s presence before I heard him and couldn’t stop the smile from making its way across my face. I did love him after all.

He was approaching me from behind, but I got a sudden urge to be playful. I fade stepped behind him, “you’ll have to catch me first,” I said leaning against his broad shoulders for an instant before taking off in a sprint, jumping from the battlements to the courtyard and disappearing through one of the many doors, seriously this place was rather maze like. He wasn’t far off, I could hear his chuckle riding the air. Up some stairs, down a passage way and through another door I ran. “SHIT, INQUISITOR,” four agents jumped to their feet sovereigns and cards flying through the air. “we… we’re on break,” they all stuttered and blushed at being caught slacking off on the job. I placed my fingers to my lips “shh, I’m not here,” I said ducking behind one of the crates just as Dorian burst through the door. “Arya,” he called, I know you’re in here, I can smell you. Just wait until I catch you Amatus.” His voice turned to a purr “You’ve been a naughty girl.” One of the scouts giggled, drawing his attention. I heard her gasp as he pulled her against him, “where is the Inquisitor scout? I plan to devour her body and soul,” his voice rolled on the air, he was putting mana into it, I could feel it caressing me, making me wet with need.

One of them must have pointed me out, I heard a clatter then he was squatting on the crate I hid behind. Using nothing but his will, he lifted me from my hiding place and tossed me onto the table, then he pounced, hovering his body over mine, his eyes were dark with lust, “leave us” he demanded. The last thing I heard was the scout’s giggle before his mana filled me and his lips met mine in a feverish kiss. The feel of his mana rubbing deep inside had me convulsing before he even touched my core. “Mmm, I can feel you, dancing along that edge, shall I push a little harder,” his words barely more than a rumble. I shook my head, if he wanted to take me, he was doing it completely no more metaphorical fucking. Catching him off guard, I pushed him off me, then slinked my way along his muscular form until we were face-to-face again. I claimed his lips, then jaw, throat, chest. Nibbling my way down, I skipped his throbbing cock, paying it no attention. “You’re evil,” he growled, causing me to chuckle against his thigh. Goosebumps spread along his skin, his hands made their way into my hair, pulling me up, “taste me,” he demanded.

**Dorian POV________**

The look she gave me was intense with need, she obliged, sliding the length of me into her slick mouth, moaning her pleasure the entire way. Holding her head still, I thrust my hips, friction building until I almost exploded down her throat. A gasp escaped her as I pulled myself free, broken suction making a smacking sound. She turned around then, arching her back and spreading her legs just enough to welcome me  inside. With a smack against her ass, I lined my dick up to her wetness. Smack, smack, and she groaned, “fuck me Dorian,” she pushed against me, spearing herself, and taking all control from me. I held still and let her move, her moans grew louder, I could feel her tightening around me. Reaching around I found the little pearl of her clit and started circling it, calling sparks, to vibrate the nerve endings. “I can’t hold back much longer, cum for me,” I told her. She started moving faster, slamming harder against me, the pressure was building and spilled over the edge just as she screamed my name.

**Arya POV___________**

We were a mess of bodily fluids when we finally fell, exhausted against the tabletop. The scout’s cards were sticking to my back, “I’ll have to requisition new ones,” I said. We both laughed, looking up at the ceiling.

It’s now or never Arya, I told myself. Propping myself up on an elbow, I looked into the forest green eyes of my first love.

“Dorian?” he looked away, knowing what was next. “I love you, I always have,” I started thinking back to childhood. He and I running through the halls, footsteps and laughter echoing off the walls. The sweet, spicy smell of his breath, the deep growl of his need. “You know, our parents had a contract for us to wed as soon as I got back that last summer.”

That drew his attention, he turned startled eyes to me. “What?” he asked

“I spoke to your father, before coming to the conclave. He said he told you about the marriage and that’s why you ran off.” I questioned

“Arya, I didn’t know it was you, he didn’t say who just that the arrangement was set for Autumn,” he grabbed my hands pleading for me to believe him.

I nodded, sweet smile crossing my lips, “I know Dorian, he said he wanted to surprise us. But then I was taken, and you disappeared, what happened to you? Where did you go? Did you meet someone?” my voice came out shaky, but I had to ask, “Is that why you hesitate?” 

He took a deep breath, “lets get dressed and go for a walk, I don’t want to talk about it here... like this,” he said, voice sad.

We took the path down to the dam and abandoned tavern. It was empty and he grabbed a bottle from the shelf, pulling the cork with his teeth he gave it a sniff, “still good,” he said pouring us both a glass.

“I never liked the idea of an arranged marriage, a political move. I wanted passion, love, sentimental right?” he chuckled.

“I know Dorian, I remember us talking about it,” I smiled

“Father would bring it up now and then but only in passing, never anything real. Then that summer… he told me the wedding was set for early autumn, right after Eliza’s. I was so mad, he didn’t tell me who and even if he had planned on it, I wouldn’t have heard, I stormed off as soon as he told me.

I ended up in a Minrathous brothel drinking myself to oblivion, that’s when I met Alexius. We started off as drinking buddies but then we found a shared interest in changing the reputation of Tevinter,” he chuckled, “ironic isn’t it, he became exactly what we despised.”

“were you two involved?” I asked

He smiled and his eyes dropped, “No, not with Alexius,” he said shaking his head, “he invited me into his family home, as my patron. It was Felix who caught my eye.”

“Felix? Alexius’ son, the one from the tavern?” I asked

Dorian shook his head, “Felix was… the best of us,” he shrugged, “It didn’t take long for him to capture my heart and shortly after, my body.”

I wasn’t shocked, thanks to Leliana, I had already come to terms with the possibility of his sexuality.

“Did Alexius know?” I asked

He shook his head, “no, we kept it a secret, both of us from respectable, powerful families, it could never be made public. Nonetheless, we shared everything for a while, then the darkspawn happened. Alexius and I were entrenched in our work. Felix and his mother went on a trip, but their carriage was attacked by darkspawn. His mother was killed and Felix… well he was infected.”

“The Blight…” I said

Tears started to fall from Dorian’s eyes. I pulled him into a silent hug. Pulling away, he wiped his cheeks and poured us both another glass.

“Alexius became obsessed then, obsessed with finding a cure, with saving his son but in doing so, he was missing what precious time was left. Felix and I ceased our relationship at that point, he didn’t want to infect me. Alexius and I were at odds, he was wasting so much time. I couldn’t stand there and watch my love slowly fade away, so I left. I went back to drinking, finding random men to distract me… until… the Inquisition,” he shrugged again rubbing the chill from his arms.

I shot mana into the cold fire place, wood burst into flame, basking us in its warmth. Dorian looked unsure, which I didn’t want. I leaned in close to him, resting my forehead on his.

“Do you think less of me?” he asked

“Of course not, what you did was brave. You risked everything for love… it’s very romantic.”

Dorian laughed, placing his hands over mine, “I should have told you Arya, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken things so far so soon in Redcliff.

I just… well I… I wanted you, ever since we were children, I’ve loved you and the fact that despite everything, you still wanted me. It was beautiful and surprising,” his words trailed off as he sat back to look at my face, “I hadn’t been with a woman since…. well since before you left. I didn’t think I could be with a woman again, but it happened and I’m glad you and I were able to share that type of intimacy, even if only for a short time.” He kissed my forehead, “Amatus, I…. I don’t know if I can give you what you deserve. I am attracted to men, and that will come between us. I don’t want to hurt you…. that’s why I hesitate.”

Dropping my eyes, I let them fill with lust, “A man coming between us… that doesn’t sound too bad Dorian.” I said with a wink.

He answered me with a growl, “Tsk, Tsk don’t push me too far… yet.”

My face colored as I imagined my body pressed between Dorian and Cullen’s muscular forms.

He smirked, he knew exactly where my mind had gone. He took the last bit of his drink and splashed it in my face, “you need a cold shower,” he said. “I can’t believe you just did that!” I yelled and pounced over the table, he dodged me… “getting slow Inquisitor,” his rich chuckle surrounded us as he took off back toward the fort, me on his heels.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48428056802/in/dateposted-public/)


	46. I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya's tummy is doing flip-flops about meeting the famous Alistair! Is it fear, anxiety, or something else entirely?

* * *

Caer Bronach was busy in the morning. Scouts, refugees, villagers, travelers, soldiers, everyone huddled around fires, eating the egg and fish pie, Blackwall made.

Ignoring the hustle and bustle, I made my way down to the lake. I was going to see him today and didn’t want to be a nasty mess. So I took a deep breath and plunged into the frigid water. Calling mana around me I was able to wrap myself in a warm sheath of it and I swam out to where it was deep and mostly clear of debris.

Finding a floating piece of driftwood, I climbed atop it and lathered myself with the Elderflower infused soap. It reminded me of Cullen, he smelled much more manly than I, but under the blade oil and musk was Elderflower.

Humming a tune to myself, I let my thoughts trail off to the mystery man. His hazel-brown eyes, copper blond hair and lopsided grin, was he really Alistair? And if so, what does that mean? Would he join us? I like the idea of fighting alongside the legendary Grey Warden. After a long battle, covered in sweat and blood, we’d fall into each other’s arms, making love amongst the bodies of our foes… how utterly morbid and hot, I giggled.

After drying myself and my clothes (which I also washed) I pulled the sapphire tunic and leggings back on. Clasping the mail pieces and bustier to their correct places. Sera was the one who introduced me to this style, much easier to move in then regular armor but still stylish. I pulled my hair into a high ponytail, letting my curls fall to mid back. 

Walking back through the fort, I stopped when I heard Cullen clearing his throat behind me, “Inquisitor? A moment?” he asked

“Of course, Commander,” I said following him.

He led me to the room he had used for the night. Rubbing the back of his neck anxiously, “Don’t trust him,” he told me.

“What?” I asked

“Alistair,” he said

“Cullen, I know there is bad blood between you and the Warden, what happened?” I was honestly curious, I knew Solona was probably a factor but didn’t know the details.

He hmphed, “It’s complicated.”

“Well I like to make my own opinions about people. I’ve never met the man, so unless there is a specific thing you want to warn me about…”

His golden eyes turned dark, as he took a step toward me, raising a hand to my face. My stomach fluttered at his touch, “Cullen… kiss me,” I don;t know if I said it out loud or if he just read it in my eyes.

His lips met mine and he shoved me against the wall. I groaned in response, Maker I love his aggression. His lips trailed down my neck, to where my breasts heaved against the bustier. He bit one mound, skin soft against his teeth, that’d leave a mark. “Fuck Cullen” I said, and he raised his finger to my core. “you’re already wet for me. take these off,” he demanded. Looping my fingers into the waistband of my leggings, I started slipping them down my hips. The mail stopped them from coming all the way off, but he didn’t mind. Flipping me around, I bent down exposing my cunt to his vision. “Arya, you’re so perfect,” he said then I felt his tongue slide along the slickness of my folds, back to the ribbed tightness of my ass and then up to my clit, where he nibbled and sucked. “Cullen I’m going to,” I started “Do it Arya, cum for me, scream my name and remember what I feel like,” his words were throaty, he pulled my bud back between his teeth. His fingers dug into my ass and he bit harder. “Fuck Cullen, yes, again Cullen, do it again,” I called. He listened, sliding his fingers inside me, finding the swollen spot within. He bit again, grinding his teeth against my clit, bringing me over the edge once and then a second time as he continued to massage his fingers against my nerves.  

“Cullen.” Cassandra called through the door, “Its time to go but I can’t find the Inquisitor, Andraste’s ass, she likes making me wait.” Cullen’s hand muffled my laughter, but his eyes sparked with his own. “I’ll be right out Cassandra; did you look outside?” he questioned. “why would she be outside,” the Seeker asked. “I thought I saw her heading to lake with soap earlier,” Cullen added

“Soap! We’re at war, not a soiree,” she gave her typical grunt before walking away.

“Did I just hear Cassandra curse Andraste’s name…” I jested

“Blasphemy,” he shook his head in mock disapproval

Together we stepped from the room, “I’ll see you later Commander, thank you for the report.”

“Is that what they call it now?” he leaned in suggestively

Giving him a playful shove, I headed back to my room. Guess I needed to clean up…again.

* * *

 The rift was right outside a farm house, demons stalking the fields waiting for us to come in and send them back to wherever they came from. Blackwall was bashing with his shield, tossing foes into the air allowing Solas to freeze them. The men were laughing hysterically as each demon shattered upon impact with the grass.

“My, my, when did they become so volatile?” Vivienne asked swinging her spirit blade in a circle, chopping off limbs and keeping me clear to tighten the strings of the rift. Once the rift was closed a woman stepped from the house, “Thank you Inquisitor, between the demons, the dragon and that Wyvern, it’s been hard to do much of anything out here,” she said

“Are you Judith?” I asked

“Yes” she said, “I manage the farms.”

“A man in the village was asking about you,” Blackwall added

“Ah yes, he wants me to me his wife, but I just can’t leave my farm, he is a kind man but that’s not the life for me,” she said with a small smile.

“What brings the Inquisition out here?” she asked

“We’re looking for one of our scouts, he’s gone missing, have you seen anyone else with Inquisition garb out here?” I asked

She paused for a moment thinking. “There are red templars in the hills, highwaymen at the ruins to the East, I’ve seen a few soldiers coming through, last ones headed south, might have been your scout,” she said

“Thanks Judith,” I replied, “tell me about this Wyvern?”

It used to mind its own but now it’s become aggressive. It has a cave that way, the red templars are that way as well. If you kill it, let me know, I need its liver for a poultice I make.”

“Let’s go kill us some Templars,” Blackwell said as we exited.

“Yes, and a Wyvern as well,” Solas added.

I shook my head at the boys, “I never would have thought you two would become friends.”

Solas and Blackwell just looked at each other and shrugged. “Secrets and darkness, the ingredients of a bond,” Vivienne added

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Blackwell jumped to his own defense and Vivienne shook her head at his childish behavior.

We found a well worn trail leading into the hills. As we followed it, jagged columns of red lyrium jutted from the ground. “Venatori, agents,” Solas whispered, pointing up ahead at what looked like an encampment. I went into stealth mode, sneaking my way in, lining up behind three Venatori, I double swiped, sending their heads rolling along the ground. The others followed suit, freezing and burning. The clash of metal on metal, familiar sounds of battle filling my senses. After clearing out the encampment we found a cave entrance. “You think this is where the wyvern’s staying?” I asked.

“The red lyrium growth in the area, would explain its change in behavior,” Solas explained

“Well, let’s go check it out,” Blackwall added, leading us inside. It turns out it wasn’t an actual cave but an entrance into a hidden grove. The space was open to the sky, had a small pond, some sparse trees and a lot of wyvern's. It seems the Wyvern was actually a mom, with four very large almost full-grown babies.

We were caught off guard, we jumped the babies first, getting them out of the way to focus on the big one. Lunging toward it, I misjudged, and it swiped me with its tail, I went flying toward the rocks.

**Alistair_________________**

Sybil was late and I was sooo bored. That damn girl, thankfully she’s tough, no cause to worry about her being in trouble. Well more like, I know she can get out of whatever trouble she’s in. She said to stay put but I can’t take one more minute, this song won’t stop singing in my head. Pulling my hair, I headed for the entrance, I needed fresh air, maybe I’ll jump in the pond.

As I made my way to the cave entrance, I could hear muffled voices. In the darkness of the cave I could see them, a small group of cultists, maybe ten, Tevinter by the looks of them, were making their way up into the hills. The world won’t miss Tevinter cultists and a fight sounds like an adequate distraction.

Running back inside I grabbed my sword and shield, and a swig from the bottle that’s been latched to me for over 10 years. I wonder what the label will say “Bottles of Thedas Vintage: Alistair, cheese and ladies… Eww that sounds gross.”

The small group weren’t trying to hide their tracks, so I easily picked them up even though they had a head start. Whistling to myself I followed as they wound their way up the hillside. Red lyrium began to sprout from the ground, this is that shite Sybil wanted me to research.

“Hey Sybil, I found it,” I said patting a column close to the path. It made my skin crawl, like spiders skittering beneath it, “ick” I said wiping it on my breeches. Cresting a hill, I heard what sounded like fighting. Taking on a stealthier approach, I crouched and got off the main trail. Soon I was standing on a bank overlooking an encampment of some sort. Red lyrium littered the place but so did a great many bodies. Whoever it was in front of me, they were strong. Making my way through the maze of death, I saw cultists and their red templars but that's it, no casualties from the other side. 

To my left a spark shot up into the air. I followed, sensing magic, was it rebel mages who took out the Vints? I stepped from the dark of the tunnel into an open glade, there was a group of mages fighting wyverns. This is where the fuckers were nested. Drawing my sword, I was about to join the fight, bastards ate my druffolo the other day, but one of the mages got swiped by a huge tail, she flew directly towards me hitting the rock ledge above my head with a sickening thwack, then falling.

I dived catching her small body just before she hit the ground. None of the others seemed to notice, too caught up in their battle. Brown hair matted with blood from the hit, covered her face. Grabbing a rag from my pocket, I wiped the blood and hair away. “Shit” is all I could say as I looked down into Arya’s freckled face. I went from calm to frantic in a second, hand reaching for my pack, realizing I didn’t bring it along. “Arya, my love, Arya wake up,” I was whispering, nuzzling her against my chest. Cold iron at the back of my neck caused me to freeze. “take you hands off the Inquisitor,” came a menacing voice. “Inquisitor? What?” A bald elf dropped to his knees next to us, “I’ll heal her,” he said reaching out and pulling her from my grasp. A spark of green caught my attention, as her left hand lit up and crackled. The cold iron blade pushed a little harder into my neck. “Who are you?” came that same menacing voice. I was stunned, “I’m uh.. I’m…

“Alistair,” her voice reached my ears, and I grabbed her back from the elf. “Arya, you’re okay, thank the Maker,” I said holding her tightly against me.

My eyes met the stormy blue gaze of the elf over her head, “thank you,” I told him. He stared at me puzzled. Right... these people have no idea who I am. A clicking came from farther away, “Alistair Therin, how is it that you know the Inquisitor and in such an intimate way,” I recognized the sing-song voice of Vivienne le Fe. Arya pulled away looking me in the eyes for the first time.

She stood, “Warden Alistair,” she said, voice going formal, “we were on our way to meet you and Sybil, but it seems you have found us instead. This is Solas, Vivienne and Warden Blackwall,” she introduced her party. Turning to the man behind me, “Blackwall? My mentor Duncan spoke highly of you,” I said… this man was not a Warden but the look in his face begged me not to tell.

“Yes, uh Duncan, a good man,” he said, extending his hand

I shook it and smiled.

“I’m Solas, if there are to be introductions,” came the calm voice of the bald elf.

I extended my hand and he shook it, grip stronger then I expected.

My gaze fell on Vivienne who hmphed and walked away, “Nice to see you again Viv,” I called to her back. This drew a chuckle from both the elf and Blackwall.

Arya’s eyes were guarded when I met them, “Warden Alistair Therin,” I extended my hand

**Arya___________**

Why did he have to be so adorable, his hand outstretched, crooked grin on his face, hair disheveled from fighting. Maker, I wanted to be mad at him. “Inquisitor Trevelyan,” I kept my voice calm, placing my hand in his. He dramatically lowered his head, my skin tingled where he planted a delicate kiss against it. “We hear you have information for us,” I stated, trying to ignore the warmth brewing in the depths of my belly. The breeze was blowing his scent directly at me, Andraste’s holy knickers he smelled so good.

‘Of course, Inquisitor, it’s in the cave, follow me,” he said

 

  



	47. Blood Magic, Treason, Heartbreak and Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all

* * *

After enlightening us with the news that every Warden was hearing The Calling, fearing their demise and seeking the Venatori for help....  …

“What a horrible plan,” Sybil was rubbing her forehead as we made the trek back to Caer Bronach. Alistair chuckled from behind us, “that’s what I said, and look, now I’m a traitor… again.” His voice held laughter and bitterness in equal measures.  

“This does not bode well for the Warden’s, Inquisitor” came Solas’ cool tone, “Are you sure it is a good idea to allow them to join us? Are they not just pons for Corypheus to control?” he nodded toward Alistair.

“He has a point Arya,” Sybil agreed

“Alistair didn’t follow them, you told me yourself he was safe,” I reminded her. She shrugged, “just be wary.”

“What is your relationship with our Warden friend?” Solas asked

“Yea, I heard you two seemed rather friendly,” Sybil added

“Hey now… its not pick on the Inquisitor day… or did I miss the memo…?” I said tone annoyed, then I fell back to the rear of our little party.

“You an ass person too?” Alistair asked, mischievous sparkle in his eye. “Not you too,” I said nudging him with my hip. He yelped in mock pain, “Oh you hurt me Inquisitor,” he rolled the title off his tongue causing my heart to beat faster and my face to flush. I looked down failing at my attempt to hide. He wrapped a strong arm around my waste and in a quick tumble, had us off the trail in the grass. He hovered above me, hazel eyes burning into the depths of my gaze. “I missed you Arya,” he whispered, breath hot against my face My eyes rolled shut from the smell of his exhale. “Mmmm I can sense your need and it’s intoxicating… tell me Inquisitor do any of these poor sods satisfy you like I do…” he lowered his mouth nipping at my neck with every pause “the elf…. Blackwall…I see how they watch you, what about the Commander of your forces… I bet he has at least tried…”

He wanted me to tell him no, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction, even if it may be true. “Wouldn’t you like to know… all those hands touching me... mouths tasting my flesh… if only you hadn’t run away…”

He growled and was about to claim my lips when Sybil’s head popped up behind us. “trying to steal the Inquisitor away are you?” she jested

Alistair rolled off me, looking up at the blond rogue, “well if it took y’all that long to notice her absence, we need to have a serious chat about security.”

I stood, wiping the dirt and grass from my blue tunic, “let’s get going, we’re almost back to the fort.”

Charter came to meet us as we approached, “Inquisitor? Any news?” she asked. I pulled out a small letter from my pack, “I’m sorry, I found his body over by the ruins, this is all he had on him.” I handed her Butcher’s personal effects. She nodded, “its all part of the job,” she said but her eyes glazed over with tears for an instant.

Hearing heavy footfalls approached, I looked past Charter to see Cullen heading our way with purpose. “Inquisitor, I have an urgent message from Leliana, please come with me,” then he tuned and headed back into the Keep. “Charter, will you see that Sybil and Alistair are tended to, baths, food, gear, etc... we will be leaving for Skyhold at daybreak.”

“Your Worship,’ she said with a bow.

* * *

 

“There are more important things then dancing Cassandra,” Cullen’s voice sounded perturbed. “You know I agree with you but the Empress’ assassination must be stopped,” Cassandra said

“I say we let it happen, Gaspard would be a stronger leader,” Cullen retorted

“Cullen! You talk treason you know that right!” she spat back

Pushing the door open I huffed at their arguing, “What’s going on here?”

“Leliana and Josie wish us to return and head straight to Halamshirel for the Empress’ ball,” Cassandra explained

“Cullen, is this the urgent news?” I asked

He nodded, “I tried to postpone it, but politics are on their own timeline.”

“Fine,” I said, “we will go to Halamshirel upon our return, then on to the Western Approach, send word that we will need further invitations and provisions for both Warden Alistair and Sybil.”

“What, you want them to join us at the ball?” Cullen asked

“Halamshirel is between Skyhold and the Western Approach, we do not have the convenience of endless time to spend traveling back and forth, we will go to the ball then straight to the Western Approach... so yes they will be joining us, send the instructions to Leliana and Josie. We head to Skyhold at daybreak,” I said then turned to leave. Before I got far a strong hand clasped my wrist. “May I have a moment to speak with you privately?” Cullen asked

I sighed, “Please excuse us Cassandra,”

With her classic annoyed look, she headed out, “I’ll go start some supper.”

“Cullen I’m exhausted can we talk once we return?” I asked

“Arya,” he started. “I want to apologize for my behavior earlier. I let bad blood and history between Alistair and I, bleed into the relationship between you and me. You trust whomever you choose. I over stepped and I just wanted to apologize.”

His intense golden eyes held my gaze without flinching. I didn’t expect an apology, but he was right. “Thank you, Cullen, I accept your apology.” A smile spread across his face slow at first, then it grew into something wonderful, “Thank the Maker, I was so worried I’d messed everything up,” he said pulling me into a hug. “Cullen, can I ask… what is the history between you two?” his eyes turned sad very quickly.

“It’s simple really, we feel in love with the same girl. I said some horrible things after she saved my life… I broke her heart. Alistair was more than happy to mend what I broke but he never forgave me for hurting her in the first place. Then in the end, he also broke her heart, and now she’s gone… the sweet, beautiful, creature that we both adored… just gone. Maybe if I hadn’t said those things, she’d have come back to me after the archdemon was defeated. Maybe if he would have sacrificed his pride for one night, she’d be here helping us, maybe even at his side still today but neither of those things happened and now she’s gone… nobody knows where,” he was staring intently at the floor. I placed a hand against his cheek, lifting his gaze to meet mine, “wherever Solona is, I’m sure she’d want you to live and be happy, don’t waste the gift she gave you... twice,” I said kissing his stubbeled cheek. “Now excuse me, my bed is beckoning me.”

**Solona____________**

“Commander?” the dwarf’s gruff voice called for me… I think it was me…. Commander, I was Commander. Odin grabbed the hem of my robe, pulling me towards the voice in the darkness.

“Commander, Solona? You here?” Another dwarf…female this time. Odin’s loud bark followed by excited yelps… someone was here. For months… no maybe years now, it’d only been darkspawn, their squeals and screams as I cut them down with flame… the smelled of burnt flesh coating me like a perfume.

“ancestors bloody hell, you look worse than Hespith,” said the red headed dwarf. He handed me a flask, “drink this, it’ll clean your system out.”

“You’ve been down here too long Commander… when did you eat last?” the female dwarf asked me.

I grabbed the flask and downed the contents in one drink, it burnt going down, but the pain was good… it was something.

“Shits going down on the surface Commander, they could use you. Wardens are all hearing the song but according to Alistair it’s a fake, brought on by some beasty.

It took me a couple tries to find my voice, “Alistair?’ I asked. “Yea he and Cullen teamed up with the Inquisitor to save the world,” he said handing me another decanter of some liquid.

“Oghren, too much at once, lets get her out of here first.”

“Sigrun, ain’t you the junior agent here, why you bossing me around like a child?”

The dwarf just shook her head at her companion, “because you insist on behaving like one,” she said

“Hee hee hee, that’s not what you were saying last night Sigrun,” he said with a chuckle

“Not now Oghren,” she shook her head again. After that… nothing… just darkness … until I woke up to long golden hair and stormy blue eyes looking down at me.

“Solona, can you hear me?” he asked

I reached up, cupping the side of his cheek, “Anders?” I asked

His blue eyes were sparkling as they looked at me full of concern. “What have you done to yourself?” he asked, pulling me to a sitting position. “I had to kill the darkspawn,” I told him.

“no, you ran away… disappeared and used the darkspawn as an excuse to not face your pain.” He said it with laughter, but it tasted bitter.

I looked around recognizing my surroundings as Soldiers Peak, “Why are we here Anders?” I asked opening my arms to the space.

He lifted my arms up, “look what you’ve done to yourself,” he said looking at the scares covering my arms. I laughed and it sounded dark, “my blood melted the bastards like acid, I could hear their hive think and anticipate each move. I’d be dead, if I hadn’t used it.”

“That’s why we are here, so Drydan can exam you, you’re the first person to use his discipline.”

My attention was drawn to the movement of his full lips, licking mine, I slid to the edge of the table I was perched upon. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I pulled him against me. He gasped in surprise but didn’t pull away. “Anders, I’ve been alone for so long,” my voice was throaty, and his eyes dilated in response.

Anders and I had a brief but passionate relationship in Amaranthine. It started by me looking to fill the hole left by Alistair but quickly became more. We never really ended it, I just left one morning. But being here, feeling his presence, lust stirred within me and it had been so long. “Solona… I… I can’t, I have someone,” he said moving to pull away but I didn’t let him. I needed him just for this one time, I didn’t want to love him, I just needed to feel. I swiftly moved in, touching my lips to his with a deliberate exhale of breath, which I knew he loved. A groan rumbled in his throat seconds before he melted into the kiss. It didn’t take long before he was pushing me back on the table. Whoever this person was he had, their memory dissipated at the touch of my hands on his bare flesh.  

**Arya__________________**

I expected to find Alistair in my quarters but was met with the silence of being alone. A tub sat, waiting for me to sink my body into its warm depths. I allowed the water to clean the grit and grim and let my thoughts fall to my new Warden companion. We needed to talk, the weight of it pulled at me, not sure what we’d say, I wanted to explain but mostly I wanted to hear his explanation without secrecy between us.

Wrapping a velvet robe around by body I sat on the edge of the bed staring at the flickering flame dance in the hearth. I heard soft feet and turned to see Solas enter with a pot of something warm and two cups. He poured silently, handing one glass to me. It smelled like alcohol but was warm like coffee or tea. “What is this?” I asked, “An old elvhen remedy for a rough day,” he replied voice soothing.

“I know I shouldn’t let these matters of the heart consume me. My role as Inquisitor comes first and foremost, these other things… I shouldn’t allow them to weigh on me,” the explanation just spilled out.

“You are the Inquisitor, but you are also a living, breathing creature. You are young and at the point where most females procreate and find a partner(s). You are doing exactly what you should be doing biologically,” he said

He moved to the head of the bed, propping himself against it, “Come let me calm your mind,” he smiled patting his lap. After gulping the warm liquid, I climbed up and laid my head in his lap. He started massaging my temples and whispering quietly in elven… within moments, I drifted off. 

The chirping of birds woke me from a dreamless sleep. Solas was warm beneath me, I could hear his soft snoring. Reaching my hand to caress his cheek I wondered where he was and what had him smiling. I felt a woooosh and the room at Caer Broach disappeared being replaced with shelves and stacks of books. I was in some kind of a library. Pulling a book from the nearest shelf I opened it up to find it filled with the words of an unknown language. I could tell it was elvhen in origin but must have been ancient, way older than anything we had at Ostwick. Sliding the book quietly back into its place, I heard voices in the distance. Stepping from behind the shelf I quietly made my way through the isles until I spotted Solas. He was surrounded by the hovering forms of spirts. They seemed to be having a debate of some sort by Solas’ jerking hand movements and ridged posture, “its not like that, I didn’t know it’d be deadly,” he was saying, “she’s different, I underestimated her,” I couldn’t make out much but enough to assume he was talking about me. I felt a brush of air at my side and found myself face-to-face with a translucent being. She looked like an elven woman, with long dark hair and sparkling blue eyes but I wondered what her actual form was. She smiled and nodded toward Solas, so I followed her led, stepping from my hiding place.

Solas rushed to my side, “How’d you get here?” he asked, touching my forehead, meeting my eyes as if examining me. I shrugged, “not sure actually, I awoke and saw you were still sleeping, I wondered where you were and tada, here I am.”

One of the spirits said something I didn’t understand, “She grows is power by the day,” he said looking behind him. “Come… let them see” he pulled me forward, left hand extended. The anchor flashed and sputtered to life as the spirits ran their ghostly fingers along in. “She is bound to you Fen’Harel,” one said, looking at Solas, “As your power increases so does hers.”

I looked at him questioningly, “what do you mean?” I asked the spirit when he didn’t answer. “Fen’Harel has bound your life force to his through this, it is the key to his foci, but in this form he was not powerful enough to wield it so he put part in you. The other is still in the foci but you are mortal and cannot sustain the anchors power…. It is consuming you if he does not take it back you will die.”

I looked to Solas again, “what are they talking about?” I asked

“they speak the truth, Arya, when I helped stabilize the anchor after the explosion, I bound it to me via magic. And as you have already been told, it is killing you. The rest is very complicated, and I will explain once I find the answers myself.”

“You care deeply for the mortal,” the dark haired spirit said caressing my hair with her ghostly hands. “Whom does she hold within her?” it asked.

I looked to Solas again confused. “They can sense the spirit you have bound via your necromancy,” he said, “She sleeps inside of you, coming to the surface when you call upon her or if you are close to death.”

“That sounds a lot like being possessed, am I some type of abomination?” I asked

He chuckled at that, “No, possession requires a deal to be made, whereas necromancy, the spirit lives within you without requiring anything in return.”

I heard an echo reverberate around us, “ah it seems your Tevinter friend has found us, we should be going,” Solas said with an almost conniving smile.

He knew Dorian would not be pleased by our current state and he was loving it. “You’re so mean,” I said playfully punching his shoulder.

**Dorian__________________**

Arya ARYA, I was yelling her name but no reply, what was that girl doing now? I tried the door and it was locked but not warded. I fade stepped through the door, to find Solas and Arya snuggled up on her bed. He was laying against the headboard and she was nestled in his lap. They were off somewhere, dreaming away. I wondered where and how it was that she could travel through dreams now, she was never Somniari before. “Arya, wake up, Cassandra is about to rip my head off of we don’t get moving and I had an interesting conversation with our new Warden friend,” I said shaking her.

She started to rouse, opening her blue eyes to meet mine. She smiled, “morning Dorian,” her voice was sluggish from sleep. “Come, I saved you breakfast,” I said grabbing her hand and pulling her to her feet. Her velvet dressing robe fell to the floor as we stood, opening her bare flesh to the chill of the morning air. I heard Solas’ breath catch in his throat behind us. Glancing over her shoulder, I met his eyes and the desire they held. “Clothes?” I said motioning to her bare skin.

Using fade step, I excused myself behind the dressing screen allowing them space to sit with their discomfort. I braided my hair is a side braid and pulled the leather leggings and blue tunic over my head. I wished I brought something else but didn’t expect to for this trip to turn into such a long one. At least I washed them, so they didn’t stink. I splashed cool water from the basin onto my face and stepped back into the room. Both Dorian and Solas were gone, thankfully. Their hostility toward one-another was sometimes a bit much. I gathered my belongings into my pack, sheathed my daggers and headed down to get breakfast.

“Your Worship,” nodded the soldiers as I passed. “Lady Cassandra is waiting for you in the courtyard,” said Farren. Guess breakfast would have to wait. The sun shone on the party waiting for me in the courtyard, gleaming off the metal of their armor. For an army, I’d say my people were well dressed. 

Cullen stepped forward first, “Inquisitor,” he said slinging his arm casually around my waist, “We are prepared to set off for Skyhold, as ordered.”

“Thank you, Commander,” I nodded grabbing the reins of my horse and slinging myself across the mares cream colored back, “let’s get outta here.”

 


	48. Once Upon A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya gets a taste of a future she didn't know existed

 

* * *

 

It was mid afternoon by the time our entourage came into the Hinterlands. “Arya,” Alistair said riding up beside me. “Where have you been?” I asked, having not seen him since the night before we left Crestwood. “Sybil and I left before the rest of you, scouting the path. We just caught up with you at the base of the pass.”

“What do you think of stopping in Redcliff for the night? We are a couple hours out, but I could send a raven to Arl Teagan, to expect us. It seems the group could use some comfort,” he titled his head toward Vivienne, who looked utterly miserable.

“That’s a wonderful idea, send the raven,” I nodded, and he rode off to find Harding.

Cassandra and Cullen were deep in discussion at the front of our troop. “Hey, Alistair is making accommodations for us at Redcliff castle for the night. Let’s head there, should be only an hour out.” They both nodded, sending the news forth through the ranks.

As the castle appeared in the distance, I felt excited, I hadn’t seen it how it was meant to be seen, only in that nightmare of a future. “You know I grew up here,” Alistair slide his chestnut mount between me and Farren. “I’ve heard that,” I answered him with a smile, “are you excited to return, its been a while hasn’t it?”

He nodded, “not since the night before we headed out to Denerim to fight the archdemon.”

“Really? Why haven’t you visited, aren’t they your family?” I asked

“Yes, but once I became a Warden, I had a different family,” his face looked sad.

“Eamon reached out to me a few years back, asking me to come home and prepare to take the throne. I never liked the idea of being king, that’s why Solona put Anora on the throne. But with her health waning, and the fact that she never had a child…well that makes me next in line,” he said.

“Do you feel differently now that you’ve grown and held leadership within the Warden’s?” I asked

“I do feel differently, still not sure if I want to be King but I do feel differently than I did 10 years ago.”

Alistair stopped our horses in the castle courtyard. Reaching up, he grabbed my waist and lifted me to the ground. “Come let’s introduce ourselves,” he held his arm out as if escorting me to a ball.

We were greeted by a middle-aged man, hair graying at the temples and lines on his forehead. “Alistair,” he said with a genuine smile, “Its wonderful to see you again.”

“Thank you Arl Tegan, please let me introduce Inquisitor Trevelyan.”

The older man, Tegan, took my hand and bowed over it, “a pleasure to meet you My Lady. The servants have been instructed to see to the needs of you and your people. Eamon has requested the nobles join us for a dinner party at 9 pm in the main hall. Until then, make yourselves comfortable. Alistair if we could speak to you privately in the study.” As if on cue, a host of servants flooded into the courtyard, taking horses, and seeing people to rooms.

“Of course, Tegan,” Alistair said nodding at the older man before facing me.

“My Lady, I look forward to seeing you at dinner tonight,” he kissed my hand lingering just a moment longer than what would be considered proper and with that lopsided grin, excused himself after Arl Tegan.

“Your worship,” a blond servant girl pulled my attention away from Alistair’s toned backside, “please follow me.”

“The Arl had this room prepared specifically for you Inquisitor, this is Lady Isolde’s quarters, but she is away in Denerim, I hope it is to your liking,” she said as she opened the door into a huge room. It was more of a suite than a room, with a full bathroom, huge bed, and closet full of handcrafted dresses and shoes. Lady Isolde is a bit taller than you, if you need something hemmed please let me know,” she said, “I’ll be waiting for you in the hall, make yourself at home.”

Once she left, I threw myself onto the soft feather bed, it reminded me of that first night in the senior enchanter’s quarters. The bathroom had running water, which I hadn’t seen since Tevinter. Turning it on, I dropped in some of the scented oils, Lavender and something sweet like ripe berries. Peeling off my dirty traveling garb I stepped into the closet.

Lady Isolde had much more conservative tastes than I. All her gowns were lovely, shimmering Orlesian silk and sateen. but they showed no skin. I had it narrowed down to two when there was a knock at my door. “My lady,” the servant poked her buttercup head through the door, “Sybil, here to see you.”

“Yes, let her in please,” I said, maybe she’d have some thoughts on what to wear.

My cousin stepped in still fully clothed in armor, her light hair almost brown with dirt. “You look awful, don’t you want to clean up?” I asked her.

“And you are very naked,” she said sarcastically

“well I’m trying to decide on a dress for dinner, come, maybe we can find one for you too.”

We found one in a dusty rose that went great with her skin tone and blond hair. Lady Isolde must also be fair in color, she had many more flattering things for Sybil then for me.

“what brings you to me?” I asked rubbing the shampoo into her locks.

“My room didn’t come equip with nice clothes, just more armor, the servant suggested I check with you,” she said

“I think Isolde is the only female non-soldier who lives here,” I answered, helping her nestle into the warm bath water.

“Also, they said the Hero of Ferelden came through here recently with some other Wardens, two dwarves and a blond mage.”

“What!?” I asked turning to look at her face, which was now covered in soap. She ducked her head, rinsing the lather from her hair and eyes.

“Yes, I haven’t heard anything from Anders in weeks, why would he be with her? Where are they going?” she asked concern heavy in her voice.

“Before me, Anders and her had a thing. She recruited him at Amaranthine hold, made him a Warden. Then one day he woke up and she was just gone, nobody knew where she went or why she left. It broke his heart and that’s why he fled to Kirkwall. If they are companions again…what does that mean? Is it Corypheus or did she just resurface for some other reason?”

“Very curious, maybe we should ask Arl Tegan, he probably knows, if he hosted them for a while. What do you think Alistair and Cullen will do if she comes back into the picture?” I asked, a rock settling in the pit of my stomach.

“Do you love him?” she asked

“who?”

“Alistair,” she said, “your eyes look different when you look at him, then when you look at the others.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, softer, full of wonder… it’s hard to explain,” she said with a small smile, “why didn’t you tell me you were acquainted when we first talked?

I smiled, “We met at the gala before the conclave, he never told me his name, so I didn’t know he was Alistair until Crestwood.”

“Well, I hope having her back in the picture doesn’t mess things up for either if us,” she said jumping to her feet, “your turn to get cleaned up, no sense sitting in here fretting about what might be.”

I bathed as she pulled on the dusty rose dress. Using magic, I got rid of the long sleeves and back, lowered the neck line so the tops of her pale breasts strained against the silk. Her champagne hair we curled in ringlets that fell just past her shoulders. Adding a little kohl to her eyes and some shimmer to her lips she was good to go. “Sybil, find someone to blow your mind tonight,” I said kissing her on the cheek as she left my room.

My choice in dress color was limited, so I went with a rich ebony sateen. After some adjustments, I had a sleeveless bustier top. It was tight to the swell of my hips, where is fell in layers to the floor. I piled my curls atop my head, lined my eyes with kohl and painted my lips a blood red.

* * *

 

The halls were silent as I walked through them. I heard the strum of a loot in the distance, the smell of warm bread filled the air. My stomach grumbled, reminding me I hadn’t eaten in a couple days.

A doorman stood at the entrance to the main hall, he bowed as I approached, “My Lady, let me introduce you.”

He opened the door for me and called out to the crowd, “Lady Inquisitor Trevelyan.”

Every head in the room turned to look at me, and as if part of a synchronous dance, they all took a knee.

“Your worship,” “My Lady,” “Inquisitor,” spilled from their lips as I passed, awkwardly walking to the slightly raised dais where Tegan and an Elderly man, who I assumed was Eamon, stood hands folded at their low backs.

“My Lady,” Tegan stepped forward, raising my hand to his lips, “you look magnificent. Please allow me to introduce Eamon Guerrin,” he gestured to the man at his side.

“My Lady, Redcliff is honored to have you as our guest this evening,” his grip was firm around my hand, lips hard against my soft skin. There was strength behind his fragile presentation.

“I apologize, My Lord, I don’t like it when they do that,” I said nodded my head to the crowd at my back, afraid that he may be offended by his people’s reaction.

“Beautiful, respected and humble, all good traits in a leader of nations,” he said, eyes sparkling with intelligence.

“Thank you, My Lord,” I said with a curtsy

“Please, enjoy the party, I shall find you later for a dance, if you’d be so kind as to humor an old man?” he asked.

“The pleasure would be mine,” I smiled, excusing myself into the crowd.

Glancing around, I didn’t see any of my advisers, which wasn’t surprising, of the ones with me, Cassandra and Cullen weren’t socialites.

I grabbed a small plate of cheese and meat, then turned my back to the crowd, so I could shove it down in an unlady like fashion, I was so hungry.

The voice of the announcer had me turn around,

 “Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast escorted by Ser Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition.”

“Lady Vivienne Le Fe, First Enchanter to the Imperial Court being escorted by Lord Dorian Pavus of Minrathous.”

“Lady Sybil Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall, being escorted by Warden Alistair Therin, heir to the throne of Ferelden.”

I stood in awe at the magnificence of my people as they entered, impressive titles Arya, I thought myself.

Cullen looked lovely in his dark gray finery and Cassandra was in a dress. Its deep purple color highlighted her dark eyes and although she was completely covered, her curves couldn’t be missed. Once the attention was off them, they made a B-line to the bar.

Vivienne and Dorian flowed into the crowd as if it was a second skin. Vivienne wore her Orlesian style enchanter’s gown in a dark green. Dorian, like Cassandra, wore royal purple. The color brought out the richness of his olive skin, he looked scrumptious.

Sybil was stunning in the dusty rose dress we picked, she seemed so fair lined up against my other companions. And Alistair, well, he wore cerulean blue and silver, Warden colors. His outfit was more fancy armor than finery, the mail fitted snugly to his biceps and toned legs but moved as if it was made of leather. His eyes fell on me and he flashed a grin but swung Sybil onto the dance floor, pulling a flurry of ooos and aaahs from the audience.

“May I have this dance?” came a voice from behind me. Turning I was met by light green eyes and red hair. “of course, Sir,” I said extending my hand. The young man had a surprisingly strong grip, that throbbed with electricity. This man was a mage, with preference form storm magic it seemed.

“Please, My Lady call me Connor,” he said, leading me into a spin.

“You may call me Arya. Are you from Redcliff?” I asked making idle conversation.

“Yes, Eamon is my father, this castle was my home as a child before I went to the Circle,” he said

“Oh! I remember reading about you in the Hero of Ferelden’s story, I guess I always had the picture of you being a 10 year old boy,” I said sounding a little more excited than necessary

Connor smiled shyly and blushed a red that matched his hair, “Not my best moment…” he said

“I think what you did was brave, you were trying to save your father and your mother did the wrong thing in keeping you a secret, although I understand why she did it.”

“Brave? No one has ever told me that before,” he said, light green eyes filling with joy, “Now thanks to you, Mages can actually have a normal life! You have shown people that we aren’t something to be feared and should be able to have everything non-mages have.” His smile turned coy as his attention was pulled over my shoulder. I turned, curious about what caught Connor’s eye. Behind us stood a young girl in a white gown, she had dark hair tied into an elaborate braid and pale blue eyes. “Your girlfriend?” I asked

“Elissa Cousland, daughter of Teryn Cousland, she will be my betrothed before the night is over… I hope. Thanks to you, I have a chance to marry, carrying on my line. I just have to ask her dad.” he turned a little pale at the thought.

“Will you become Arl of Redcliff now that Mage’s can hold titles? If Eamon is your father, you’re the heir, correct?” I asked

He nodded, “My Uncle Tegan has been holding the spot, but he has yet to marry and has no heir himself. He also doesn’t like leading, so he says if I can find a wife, I can have the title.”

“Well I wish you luck, if I can do anything to help, let me know,” I said as we gave the ending bow and exited the dance floor.

Asking the barkeep for a glass of wine, I took a minute to ponder what Conner had said. Have I really made such a huge impact? Will it last even after the Inquisition does its job? What does that mean for me and my future… if I survive that is?

“My lady,” came a gravely voice from behind me, “will you give an old man the honor of a dance?” Eamon extended his hand and I curtsied to accept. “The honor is mine, My Lord”

The music pace changed to something slower, he pulled me tight against his chest leading me into the waltz. “tell my Lady Trevelyan, what do you intend to do once the Inquisition has played its part?”

“Funny you ask, I was just thinking about that, after dancing with you son Connor. According to him, I am the one to thank for mages having the ability to live regular lives.” Eamon just nodded but didn’t speak, encouraging me to continue, “You know he is proposing to Teryn Cousland’s daughter?”

The older man’s wrinkled face grew into a huge smile. “It is a wonderful thing, a wonderful opportunity for him and for all mages, which brings me to the reason for my question. The people of Ferelden respect you, that was shown when you entered the hall this evening, what would you feel about leading them?” he asked

“I’m not sure what you mean, My Lord.”

He humphed a little, “I’m sure our dear boy Alistair shared with you that we want him to retake the throne… you and he would make a powerful and just royal couple, don’t you think?”

I actually tripped over my feet at his assumption, “My Lord, Alistair and I barely know one-another, I have a hard time believing he would be interested in such a proposal… I mean wasn’t he against the idea when it was him and Solona? I don’t see how I’d be any different.”

“There are many reasons why it’d be different now, mostly Alistair is different, he has been in a leadership role and he understands now what it means to have a duty to your people. You, my dear, may look like Solona physically, but even in the few hours since I met you, I know you and she are totally different people. Additionally, Ferelden would not have accepted a mage as their Queen 10 years ago. Now they will, they already have accepted your authority.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, “well it’s not a horrible possible future,” I said with a smile just as the dance came to and end. “Thank you, My Lord.”

This time I took my glass of wine outside to one of the balconies. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to finish it. The air was warm and heavy with moisture from the sea. I always forgot that Redcliff was on the sea but tonight from my position, I could see the waves crashing in the distance under the light of the full moons.

**Alistair______________**

I was waiting for Arya to have a free moment but not surprising, she had one dance partner after the other. I realized that she was no longer in the hall and set off to track her down. When I found her, she was leaning against the railing of the balcony, watching the waves.

The moons were both full, casting the world in their glow. She was deep in thought so didn’t hear me approach from behind. I slid my arms around her waist, “didn’t think I’d ever get a chance to dance with you,” I whispered in her ear and her body reacted, goosebumps erupting along her skin, “Maker, I loved how her body reacted to mine.” Her breath caught and she turned herself around, which put her lips within kissing distance. I claimed them, hungrily until she was whimpering under my demand. I could take her right here on the balcony but not this time. I was determined to change our dynamic, move slower, court her the right way. I broke the kiss, taking a step back to put distance between us. “You want to get outta here?” I asked

A bright grin crossed her face and she shook her head excitedly. “Follow me,” I said grabbing her small hand in mine and leading her through the secret passages of the castle, down into the dungeon and out through the old windmill.

**Arya__________________**

I didn’t know where we were going but I trusted him and needed the reprieve from the heavy turn the night had taken. He wound us through the castle and out a hidden passage, I wondered if this was the one Leliana used to sneak our people in during the encounter with Alexius. We dropped down into the village of Redcliff, taking the path along the docks. People were hustling around at the market, hauling food to their homes for dinner, wood smoke from fires hung in the air. Villagers dropped down on a knee as we passed,

“My Lord, My Lady”

“Your Grace, Your Worship.”

They addressed us as if we were the ruling couple.

Alistair bowed to each one of them, as if saying, “I am your equal.” Eamon’s words rung in my head “Alistair would be a just and wise ruler.”

Once we left the market, the numbers of people dwindled down. Some made their way to the Tavern but past that, the path was quiet. He led us past the Chantry and through the small clearing where I met our lyrium smuggler. In the moonlight I could make out an old trail, down the cliff to the waterside. “I used to come down here as a child,” Alistair said, “Careful it’s steep.”

We ended up on a small, grassy outcrop that sat just above the water line. A few feet below us was a strip of sand. “The beach gets bigger when the tide is out,” he said gesturing towards the sea. Alistair took off to search out some firewood and I stared off into the waves. I got an intense desire to swim and followed it. The water was cool against my skin, but it felt fresh and awakened the nerves inside of me. Laying prone, I let the water pull me gently along as I looked up at the stars above.

It didn’t take long before a splash let me know Alistair had followed me. He grabbed my foot and pulled me closer to the shore, where we could both stand, “Currents can get strong if you get to far out,” he said. Feigning offense, I splashed him right in the face, which led to an all-out war, leaving us both breathless from laughing.

**Alistair________________________________**

Watching the immense joy radiate off her was magnificent. Her skin sparkled in the moonlight and her eyes shone brightly. As soon as the splashing died down, I pulled her against me, her skin felt hot in the water’s coolness. I don’t know how long we stood there, staring into each other’s eyes, unspoken emotions filling the air.

“Arya,” I finally said breaking the silence, “I saw you dancing with Eamon, did he share his idea?”

Her eyes looked confused for a moment before she nodded, “He said, Anora is ill and that you are her heir, he wants you to take the throne,” she said

He didn’t tell her everything, I felt the anxiety bubble up in my chest.

“That’s right,” I said, “but I cannot take the throne alone, I am a Grey Warden and with that comes responsibility and sacrifice.”

“What do you mean?” she asked

“Do you know much about the Joining”?

She shook her head.

“Well, its similar to a Mages Harrowing, to become a Warden, the man or woman, has to take the taint within themselves, it is carrying and mastering the taint that gives us our powers. But the Joining is not always successful, meaning a lot of people die immediately from the Blight/taint. For those of us who survive, death is still imminent, it just takes longer, about 20-30 years they say.”

I paused there, gauging her reaction. “So, to become a Warden you must infect yourself with the taint and it will kill you, either during the ritual or later?’ She asked.

“Yes, when your time comes, you start hearing the archdemon talking. It gets louder and louder, until it drowns out everything else, this is how you know your time is up and the expectation is that you go into the deep roads and die fighting.” I explained further

“So that’s The Calling, that Corypheus is making all the Warden’s hear?” she asked.

“Yes, exactly but in his case its not the real Calling, although some Warden’s think it is.”

“So you’re telling me that Eamon wants you to take the throne but that you only have another 10 years or so before you die…. And since the taint makes it tough to have children, it’d be hard for you to leave an heir behind to take your spot?” she summed.

“Exactly,” I said grabbing her hands, “So in order for me to rule, I need a Queen who is strong enough and loved enough to continue once I am called away. She’d also need to be able to have a child with me (and help from fertility magic) or with another.”

Her eyes met mine sternly, “Alistair are you proposing to me?” she asked, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“No, when I do that, I will do so much more dramatically,” I said with a wink, “This is more sharing a thought, gauging your stance on it is all.”

She looked down, “I don’t know how I feel about it, right now. I am responsible for the Inquisition and the chances I will survive are slim. If I do live, eventually the Inquisition will be no more, and I may have an opportunity to do something else but for now…. I just can’t give you an answer,” she said meeting my eyes, silent tears sliding down her cheeks.

Her vulnerability made me love her even more, “no pressure,” I said pulling her against my chest and laying a gentle kiss on the top of her damp curls, “let’s go get dry.”

**Arya_______________**

My mind was reeling, never thought I’d be asked to be someone’s queen. Especially not from “The” Alistair. I remembered Blackwall telling me a little about the Warden’s sacrifice back when we were on the Stormcoast. But still the thought of Alistair only having 10 years left….. well that thought made my heart hurt.

He laid out a blanket on the soft grass and I shot a flame into the small fire pit. The wood lit up, crackling, casting its glow on Alistair’s tan skin and copper hair. He wrapped another blanket around me and patted the ground next to him.

“Alistair… Blackwall said that the reason a Warden has to be the one to kill the Archdemon is because the taint stops the Old God soul from jumping into another being, but that it kills the Warden. Yet you and Solona are still alive… What happened in Denerim?” I asked. 

He tensed up at my question. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… you don’t have to tell me,” I hurriedly replied, trying to ease the tension, we really didn’t know each other that well and I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable.

“Yes… well… that’s a good question, Arya and well…. we never spoke of what happened, Solona and I, we just told everyone we didn’t know why we lived,” he began, “there was a mage in our party, Morrigan, and she did a spell, probably blood magic, but it kept us both alive. I will tell you more another time, is that okay?” I just nodded, trusting that he’d tell me when he was ready.

He lent back and pulled me along, nestling me in his arms. “you know,” I said turning to look into his hazel-brown eyes, “being with you, like this, is the only time I can forget the fate of the world rests on my shoulders, with you I feel safe.”

He lent down, brushing my lips softly with his, “then, take this space to rest and let your worries drift away,” he said. Melting into the warmth of his chest, I dozed off.

* * *

 

The next morning as we prepared for departure, I was approached by one of the scouts, “Message, Your Worship, from Nightingale,” he said.

_Arya,_

_Scouts have noticed a large number of Grey Warden’s gathering outside an old ritual tower in the Western Approach. Whatever is happening it is happening soon. I would advise to head there straight away._

_Nightingale_

Wonderful, I thought. We were not supplied enough to head straight to the Western Approach, and we have some refuges, wanting to seek harbor within the Inquisition traveling with us.

“Alistair and I can head to the Western Approach Inquisitor,” Sybil interjected, “We can scout the area and find a place for the Inquisition to settle into. The Western Approach is far from Skyhold, your people will need a base of operations, if we will be holding a presence there.”

“What? Don’t I get a say?” Alistair jumped in

“Hawke is right,” this from Cullen, “We need a presence there soon, if we are to have a chance at fighting whatever Corypheus and the Wardens are planning.”

“Guess that answers my question” Alistair said, eyes disappointed but only slightly. “I was hoping to have some more time alone with the lovely Arya,” he winked at me, smirk plastered on his stubbled face.

The tension skyrocketed as Cullen’s face grew dark, “Arya is the Inquisitor, she is above trysts with the likes of you.”

A mischievous grin lit up Alistair’s face, piss, he was going to say something. “Is that right? If she is above trysts with the likes of me… what does that say about you Rutherford?”

Before Cullen could reply I stepped in, the last thing I wanted was a testosterone fueled battle outside of Redcliff castle. “Commander, please see that everyone is ready to go,” I motioned to the large group, gathered around us.

“Alistair, Sybil,” I motioned for them to follow me, “head to the Western Approach, send a raven once you have found the Warden’s location. I will take this group back to Skyhold, resupply and leave in a fortnight, that will put us about 4- 5 days behind you.”

Sybil nodded, wrapping me into a hug, “be safe, little cousin” she said.

Alistair stepped close to me, placing his hand on the side of my cheek, “is it wrong of me to be happy both our lives are full of chaos and danger? I stayed away, kept my identity a secret to protect you, but now I can be by your side fighting for what is right, all things considered…that’s not such a bad thing,” he kissed my forehead.

“Come on lover boy,” Sybil said from behind us. “See you again soon Inquisitor,” he said, heat in his words, before jumping on his mount and taking off.

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48513258137/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48513259192/in/dateposted-public/)


	49. : No Rest for the Wicked or in this Case the Inquisitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at Skyhold and Arya finds out she has been missed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bunch of small but important scenes in one, I separated pictures in each section.

* * *

It was dark when we crested the hill, the lights of Skyhold, flickered in the darkness, letting us know we were almost home. Leliana and Josie met us in the courtyard, “Food has been prepared in the main hall,” Josie said.

“Reports from the Western Approach are troubling Inquisitor,” Leliana added.

Leaning forward to sling my leg off my mount, I felt strong hands at my hips, “let me help, it’s been a long ride,” came Cullen’s smooth voice. I was so tired I let him guide my decent, just like he used to back at Haven, lowering me slowly and sliding his body against mine as he did it. “Come to my room tonight, if you feel up to it,” he whispered, running his fingers through his messy hair, “I want to talk to you about something.”

I smiled and nodded, “perhaps, I’m pretty tired though.” Rubbing the back of his neck he gave one nod, acknowledging me and walked off, “Tell Captain Rylen to report to my office immediately,” he called to one of the scouts, “yes sir,” the young man said before scurrying of toward the barracks.

* * *

 Waking up in Skyhold felt wonderful. The courtyard was bustling. Merchants were setting up for the day and Dennett was feeding the horses their breakfast. I could hear the “twack, twack” from the training grounds and wondered if Cullen was already drilling the recruits… I wonder if he really wanted to talk to me about something, or if it was just an excuse to get me alone. I should go find out I decided, turning back to the small staircase that led to the battlements. “Your Worship, glad to see you back safely,” I merchants said as I passed. 

I took the stairs two-at-a-time, bounding up to Cullen’s tower. I didn’t knock, but just stepped in. His office was empty except for a messenger dropping off some letters, “Lady Inquisitor, if you are looking for the Commander, he is down talking to Seeker Cassandra.”   

“Thank you,” I said dismissing him with a nod

“Right, ser,” he replied before leaving

I picked up the letter, curious who it was from. It wasn’t an Inquisition message.

_“To Cullen”_

_“Love your sister Mia”_

I didn’t know Cullen had siblings. Under the letter was a velvet bag, a copper colored amulet spilling from it. It was heavy and worn from years of laying against someone’s skin. Upon further examination, I realized it was a locket. Pushing the clasp I opened it, a small piece of paper fell out. The paper was yellow and smooth from being handled.

_“My Heart ~ Cullen,”_ was written in Cullen’s scrawl.

 Putting everything back, I headed down into the keep. Solas was standing in his solarium, staring at a blank space on the wall.

“Dragons,” I said

“What?” he questioned

“Paint dragons in that space, it is the Dragon Age after all,” I replied

“Huh,” he grunted, rubbing is chin in thought.

Cullen wasn’t in the War Room, so I guessed maybe outside by the training grounds. I didn’t seen Cassandra in her usually spot under the tree but heard yelling coming from the door to her room.

I stepped in and sure enough she and Cullen were in a debate. When they saw me, their discussion ceased and Cullen stormed out, “I’m sorry,” is all he said as he walked past.

“What’s going on?” I asked Cassandra

“Cullen has told you he stopped taking lyrium, correct?” she asked

I nodded

“He asked me to watch him and if his symptoms ever became too much, ask him to step down from his roll as Commander of the Inquisition. He feels like I should ask him to step down, but I don’t agree. He can do this, he has made it this far.” She said

“If he feels like his role is being jeopardized by his withdrawals, shouldn’t we listen to him?” I asked

“He and I had an agreement, if I felt his was unfit, I would ask him to step down, he is not unfit, he is just having a tough day,” she said, “He is too hard on himself. He needs to break the cycle and he will do it. Go, talk to him, you decide if now is the right time,” she finished.

* * *

According to the people standing around, the Commander stormed off to his tower. I approached, opening the door without knocking and stepping through the threshold, something came flying toward me, I dodged and it crashed into the wall where I once stood, splinters raining to the ground.

“Makers Breath, I didn’t hear you enter,” Cullen said voice raised, “I… forgive me,” he shook his head.

“Cullen, if you need to talk…”

He started to step around his desk but fell against it, exhaling in pain. I stepped to his side, offering assistance but he brushed by advances away.

“I never meant for this to interfere,” he stated.

“I believe you,” I told him

“Whatever good it does, promises mean nothing if I cannot keep them,” he said taking a breath, “You asked what happened to Ferelden’s Circle, it was taken over by abominations… the templars, my friends were slaughtered,” he turned away on the edge of tears. “I was tortured… they tried to break my mind… how can you be the same person after that? Still… I wanted to serve, do my duty… they sent be to Kirkwall. I trusted my Knight Commander and for what… her fear of mages drove her to madness. Kirkwall’s Circle fell, innocent people died in the streets… the people and streets, I had pledged to protect. Can’t you see why I want nothing to do with that life?”

“Of course I can, Cullen,” I said taking steps in his direction

“DON’T,” he said stepping away, “you should be questioning what I have done. I thought this would be better, that I’d gain some more control over my life but… these thoughts won’t leave me. How many lives depend on our success…? I swore myself to this cause… I will not give less to the Inquisition then I did to the Chantry… I should be taking it… I… should be… taking it,” he slammed his first into the wall sending pieces of wood flying.

“This isn’t about the Inquisition Cullen,” I said stepping to his side, “this isn’t about duty… is this about what YOU want, not as a former templar, not as the Commander, just as you?” I said

He looked at me, “No,” he said

I placed my hand against his stubbled cheek, ran my thumb along the scar that interrupted the curvature of his lips, “Then don’t take it... you can do this Cullen… you will do this.”

He smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes, but it was real, his tension eased “Alright” he said placing his large hand over mine and turning his head to kiss my palm, “thank you,” he whispered against my hand.

Staring into his golden gaze, I forgot the rest of the world for a moment. His vulnerability was tangible, and I wanted to pull him into my arms, hold him, tell him everything would be okay, together he and I would get through anything. His eyes held a promise of love, a promise of a support, loyalty, family. My heart ached with the need to accept all he offered.

Is this what Solona saw, all those years ago? I never quite got why she was so upset about being conscripted. Now, in this moment, I knew why she would have given up all the fame and power of the Hero of Ferelden just to hold this man in her arms again, to smell his scent on her body, to look into his eyes and see… what I saw right then.

It was too much… I was afraid… I don’t know what I want… who I want… I just need to stay focused on the Inquisition.

Leaning forward I laid a kiss against his perfect lips, he sighed against me and I almost opened, offering myself to him. “You should get some rest Cullen, I’ll come check on you later.”

He nodded in agreement, retreating to his sleeping chambers above the office.

I cleaned up the shattered lyrium box and heard his soft snoring just as I stepped out of his tower. What he shared about Kinloch, what brought those thoughts to mis mind? Did he hear about Solona returning while we were at Redcliff? Are thoughts of her being around making it harder for him? He was fine last night, when we got home, then again it was a long trip, rest will do him good.

“Don’t let anyone interrupt the Commander, he is ill and needs to rest,” I told the guards loitering about the battlements. They nodded acknowledgement and took more purposeful looking positions.

  


Crisis averted but now I was exhausted again. I headed first to Cassandra, letting her know Cullen was alright and resting. Then I ducked into the Heralds Rest, a drink sounded fabulous.

* * *

“Boss!!” came Bull’s booming voice….so much for going unnoticed. “Long time no see,” he said lifting me like a rag doll into the air above his head. “How about a round on me?” he asked, and I nodded, “will you put me down please?” I asked

He laughed, “yea... right ... sorry boss, got a little excited is all.”

The rest of the Charges slapped me on the back, “glad to see you safe and sound,” they all said.

Sera must have heard the commotion because she bounded down from the upper floor, “Inky… your back!” she squealed, “It was getting mighty sad around here, you were gone for a long time.

“Nice to see you too Sera, a drink?” I asked and the elf nodded, her short blond hair bouncing as she did. 

I sat with Sera, Bull and the Chargers, catching up on the Skyhold gossip. It felt so nice to laugh until my muscles hurt again.

“Boss? There is something I want to talk with you about,” Bull said as I was getting up to leave.

“I got a letter from my contacts in the Ben-Hassrath, already verified it with Red, they have been reading my reports, they don’t like Corypheus or his Venatori and they really don’t like red lyrium. They’re ready to work with us… with you Boss. The Qunari and the Inquisition, joining forces.”

I was caught off guard, the Qunari aren’t known to “work” with others.

“That could be a powerful alliance,” I said

“My people have never made a full-blown alliance with a foreign power before, this would be a big step,” he replied echoing my earlier thoughts

“They have found a massive red lyrium shipping operation out on the coast.”

Krem stepped in, “they wanted us to hit it together, talked about bringing one of their dreadnoughts, always wanted to see one of those big war ships in action!” he said excitedly

“They’re worried about tipping off the smugglers, so no army, just my Chargers, you, maybe a little back up,” he explained

Although this all sounded great, an alliance with the Qunari, something I always dreamed about, Dorian and I saving the world, one alliance at a time. But I had a sense of unease, nonetheless.

“What exactly does this alliance mean?” I asked

“They wouldn’t use the word alliance if they didn’t mean it,” he nodded, “Naval power, more Ben-Hassrath reports, Qunari soldiers aimed at the Venatori, it could do a lot of good.”

“You don’t seem entirely happy about it?” I asked him, queuing into his apprehension, or perhaps I was projecting my own.

“No, I’m good,” he said, “I umm… I’m used to them being… over there… it’s been awhile.”

“I thought Qunari wanted to extend their reach to the whole world?” I asked, sounding a little more Tevinter than I expected

“Yes, well, I didn’t think I’d live to see it. The Qun answers a lot of questions, it’s a good life for a lot of people but it’s a big change and a lot of the folks here… wouldn’t do well under that kind of life. I guess its not like we are converting, this is just us joining forces against Corypheus, on that front, I think we are good.”

“The Inquisition is here to restore order to the world, that means all of Thedas, what affects us, also affects them and we need all the help we can get” I said, still a bit unsure

“Good, he answered, voice sounding much lighter, “I’ll pass the information on to Cullen and Red, set the meeting whenever you’re ready.”

“Now, I need to hit something. Krem!” he called to his lieutenant.

“You know they have training dummies Chief,” Krem said

“Yes well, the training dummies might defend themselves against the shield bash,” Bull countered and the two wondered off chuckling and boasting.

“Good luck with that!” I called then headed for Leliana’s tower, she had said something about reports last night and I wanted to check in with her about Cullen and this possible alliance. Sometimes, it seems like we are waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it does, I think it’ll be bad.

* * *

 

It was dusk by the time I finished up with Leliana, scouts had reported Wardens, darkspawn and Venatori in the area. I was anxious, we needed to get out there soon.

“Inquisitor?” Mother Giselle’s voice came from behind me, causing me to jump.  Turning to look at the woman, I was surprised, instead of her usual calm, composed self she was…. nervous.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” I asked

“A letter came for one of your companions, the young man from Tevinter,” she said

“A letter for Dorian? Why give it to me, he is just up in the library.” I pointed to the floor above us.

“Well, this letter is from his family, they are worried about him and want to see him. They have sent a representative to the Gull and Lantern in Redcliff, can you take Dorian there?” she asked, handing me the letter.

Opening it up, my eyes drifted across the pages, it was from Halward, I recognized his flowing handwriting.

“Why did they not just ask me?” I said looking back at Mother Giselle

“You are Inquisitor now My Lady, that title holds power, some are intimidated by that power. They do not know you and perhaps, felt safer contacting me,” she said, “it is in your hands now, choose to share it with your…friend or not.” 

As Mother Giselle walked away, I felt utterly confused. What do you mean they don’t know me? How do they know you? Leliana didn’t flag this letter, so it must have been personally addressed to the Revered Mother. The whole thing gave me a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I decided to head up to find Dorian, I definitely wasn’t going to take him to Redcliff without telling him first. His usual spot in the library was left empty.

“Inquisitor, if you are looking for Dorian, he left with that Qunari fellow a short while ago,” Fiona said.

I had completely forgot about the Grand Enchanter, shite of a leader I am. “Fiona, thank you,” I said stepping toward her, “how are you?”

“The mages are well, Inquisitor, we are settling in, but it would be nice to have a spot to call our own,” she said with a nod.

I have a requisition to rebuild one of Skyhold’s towers, a place for the mages to use as they wish, would be nice. 

“I’ll see what I can do Fiona,” I nodded back.

Herald’s Rest was busy when I stepped in. Bull wasn’t in his usual spot. “Chief went up there with Dorian,” Krem said winking at me, “Share a another drink with the crew?” he asked handing me a huge mug.

I gladly took it, taking a seat next to Dalish, “to the future, whatever that means,” I said raising the mug in unison with the Chargers.

Dorian and Bull, wouldn’t have expected that match. I was determined to be supportive, even though my heart was sad, I love Dorian and want him to be happy and himself, even if that isn’t with me.

A couple mugs down was when Dorian and Bull graced us with their presence. My mind was fuzzy from the drink and I blurted out about the letter from Halward. Now, under the light of the moons, Dorian and I were making our way through the Hinterlands to Redcliff.

Late at night, there was no one awake at Skyhold to tell us not to go. We were on a short timeline yes, Redcliff was only half a day’s ride, if you went fast enough. We were doing just that, the hooves of our mounts thumping against the soft ground as we went. The movement making me a little nauseous, thanks to the ale sloshing around in my belly. Redcliff’s gates came into view and I slowed my mount, hoping off quickly and running into the bushes to ease my stomach. Dorian was chuckling behind me, “Inquisitor, can’t handle her drink, aye,” he called.

I laid down on the cool ground waiting for the spinning and sweating to ease. “You okay?” he asked, coming to find me when I didn’t return on my own. From my post, on my back, he looked very tall hovering above me. Kneeling down, he called healing magic, his hands turning a hue of green, like the mark I bore. “Let’s see what we can fix up,” he moved his hands along the length of me, each inch easing more and more of the dizziness.

* * *

The Gull and Lantern was empty when we stepped inside. Then again, it was early in the morning. “Dorian?” I heard Halward’s familiar voice. “Father?” Dorian replied, “the whole thing about a retainer was what... a smoke screen?”

“Then you were told.” Halward more stated than asked, as he began to descend the stairs. He looked like the same Halward I knew but something was different, more hesitant, almost scared or nervous.

“I’m sorry Inquisitor, I didn’t mean for you to get involved,” he began, still not realizing who I was.

“And why is that father, why not simply come to Skyhold if you were so concerned?” Dorian asked

“Dorian you know I couldn’t risk being seen interacting with…” his words trailed off as I stepped to where he could see me, “the Inquisitor?” I finished his sentence for him. He looked at me, astonishment in his eyes, then dropped his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t realize, this all makes more sense now, why you’d join.” He said looking to Dorian and back to me. “This isn’t about the Inquisition, nor is it about me, you came here to speak with Dorian, you should speak with him. I will let you two have privacy.” I said, stepping back toward the door.

“No! Arya, you need to hear this, you don’t know and maybe you should.”

“Dorian, there is no need to,” Halward said

“Yes father, there is a need to… Arya has been a part of our family for her entire life, she needs to know the truth of what you are,” Dorian yelled eyes darting between the two of us, “I prefer men, my father didn’t like that.”

“This display in uncalled for,” Halward stated

“No father, you called for it by coming here, you wanted to talk let’s talk. You taught me to despise blood magic, ‘only for the weak’ you said and then when you learned what your precious son had become you… tried to change me,” Dorian’s face broke, tears welling in his eyes.

“I was only doing what I thought was best for you,” Halward said, taking a step forward.

“No father! You tried to do what was best for you, for your fucking legacy,” Dorian spat

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, “Halward… you said that he and I were...” my words were interrupted by Dorian.

“You and I together would have given him exactly what he wanted, the perfect match, the perfect heir, the perfect mage in body and mind. He was so determent to get what he wanted, he was willing to use blood magic to make it so, trapping us both is a false union for the sake of politics,” he yelled, storming to the far corner of the tavern

“Dorian don’t leave it like this, you’ll never forgive yourself,” I said, gently laying my hand on his arm, hiding the sick feeling in my stomach from his gaze. He glared daggers at me, but I’d take his anger if it’d help him move past this. I felt betrayed, and I wasn’t even the one Halward harmed.

“Tell me father, why did you come?” Dorian asked looking to his father.

“If I knew it would have drove you to join the Inquisition...” Halward began.

“It didn’t drive me to join the Inquisition, nor did I join because Arya is Inquisitor, I joined because it is the right thing to do, once I had a father who would have known that,” Dorian shook his head in disbelief, he was done.

“Once I had a son who trusted me, a trust I betrayed,” Halward’s words stopped Dorian’s exit, “I only wanted to talk to him, to hear his voice again, to ask him to forgive me.”

Dorian’s gaze met mine, he gave me permission to take my leave, “I’ll meet you back at Skyhold,” I said giving him and Halward a small bow before leaving the tavern.


	50. Someday When I'm Done Saving the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skyhold could use a little TLC, if only she had more time...

* * *

“Did you hear? There was a host of murders, mimicking those in Varric’s series Hard in Hightown, someone has it out for out dwarven friend,” Leliana was explaining, as I entered the war room, “I sent a scout for more information, cant be having our name attached to ritual killings.

“Oh my, what a scandal that would be,” Josie added with a small giggle

The girls were chatting away, Cullen stood in his usual spot, eye’s focused on the map, he looked tired.

“Cullen?” I asked, causing him to raise his gaze and offer me a small smile. “Inquisitor, I am okay just… had trouble sleeping,” he said with a shaky breath. “Griffon Wing Keep, an old Warden stronghold in the Western Approach, that might be a good place for us to commandeer, with all the Venatori amassing in the West, we need a more solid presence,” he added moving the Inquisitor’s piece to the Western Approach.

Cassandra stepped through the heavy door, “All preparations are made Inquisitor, the people are ready to make the journey at your word.”

“How long will it take?” I asked, leaning more towards a small group, rather than bringing a caravan.

“I sent Harding and her team to meet up with Hawke and Alistair, a raven this morning placed them a day out from the camp location,” Leliana answered.

I glanced down at the stack of messages in front of me, Emprise du Lion wants our assistance, apparently Red Templars have taken refuge in the mines and since they showed up, civilians have been disappearing.

“Cullen, do you feel up to taking a patrol to Sahrnia, to investigate?” I asked

“Of course, Inquisitor, a change of scenery will do me well anyway,” he replied looking at Cassandra, who was nodding as if saying ‘you got this.’

“Wonderful, we can travel together to Emprise du Lion, then I will continue on with Bull, Dorian and Varric. Cassandra, please stay with Cullen, and take Blackwall and Sera along.”

Cassandra grunted, “Do I have to take Sera?” she asked

“Sera is great with a bow and you’ll be thankful to have her backing you up in a fight, besides she’s entertaining,” I said patting the Seeker on the shoulder.

“Inquisitor, I don’t need Cassandra and the other’s, I can do this,” Cullen cut in.

“I know you can Cullen, I have complete faith in your ability to…. take command,” I purred the last part, bringing a giggle from Lei and causing Cullen to blush. “I’m not sending them to babysit you, I’m sending them because we don’t know what to expect out there and I want the civilians safe and our patrol successful, no matter what awaits us. It could simply be a few red templars causing trouble, but it could be a lot more, we don’t know what Corypheus has on his agenda but whatever it is, the Inquisition MUST be able to fix it. So, it’s better to have extra help then not enough.”

They all nodded their agreement. “Alright let’s take off at daybreak,” I said.

* * *

 

It was late afternoon when I stepped out of the Underkeep, Harritt and Dagna were showing me some new schematics they had designed. At first, I wasn’t sure how the two would get along, but it turns out they balance each other well. Dagna helps Harritt think outside the box and Harritt is great at keeping the young dwarf from daydreaming away.

Together they have come up with some amazing weapons and armor, stylish as well as hardy and full of various enchantments. I originally went down for new daggers but left with a completely new ensemble.

After, taking my gear to my room, I decided to stroll through the garden. It was a work in progress, partially designed for reflection and partially designed for growing herbs.

I requested one of the rooms, off the garden to be transformed into a Chantry of sorts, for those who want a place to worship but really, I wanted the garden itself to focus on functional plants and community. It needed more work, another thing on my list of, “someday, when I’m done saving the world.” Yes, I actually have a list titled just that.

For now, the little mess of a garden space did an okay job. On this afternoon, I caught Dorian and Cullen, brows furrowed over a game of chess.

“Gloat all you like, I have this one,” Cullen said

“Are you sassing me Commander? I didn’t know you had it in you,” Dorian countered with a playful chuckle

“Inquisitor,” Cullen jumped to his feet as I approached, sending the chair clattering to the ground at his feet.

“Leaving, are you? Does this mean I win?” Dorian chimed in, strumming his fingers together under his chin.

“Are you two playing nice?” I asked with an innocent tone

“I’m always nice,” Dorian said, winking at Cullen, “You need to come to terms with my inevitable victory, you’ll feel much better.”

“Really?” Cullen asked, taking his seat again, “because I just won… and I feel fine,” he chuckled at the other man

“Don’t get smug, there will be no living with you,” Dorian replied, which just caused Cullen to chuckle more. “Be careful Inquisitor, your Commander is a crafty one,” Dorian winked at me.

“I should return to my duties, we have preparations to make,” Cullen started, then stopped, “unless you would like a game?”

“Prepare the board Commander.”

“As a child I would play this game with my sister, she would get this stuck up grin whenever she won, which was all. the. time,” he laughed at the memory, “my brother practiced with me for weeks, you should have seen her face the day I finally won.. priceless.”

Between serving the Templars and the Inquisition, I haven’t seen them in years. I wonder if Mia, still plays.”

“You have siblings?” I asked

He leaned in, “two sisters and a brother.”

“where are they now?”

“They moved to South Reach after the blight, I do not write to them as often as I should.”

It was nice hearing about his siblings and even better seeing the joy sparkle in his golden eyes.

“You should keep practicing, for when you see your sister again,” I told him. Silence fell between us as we concentrated on the game, he was good, I’ll give him that.

“This may be the longest we’ve gone without discussing the Inquisition or related matters, It’s rather nice, being here with you..” his words started trailing off and his hand went directly to the back of his neck.

“We should spend more, non- Inquisition related, time together,” I said

“I’d like that,” he replied

“me too,” I stated

“you said that already,” he added, this time, I was the one who blushed

“We should uh, finish our game, my turn,” he said leaning in to make his move, just as the breeze blew, carrying his scent over me like a blanket. My body immediately reacted, pulse quickening and core tightening at memories of that smell engulfing my body.

“And this one’s mine,” he said leaning back proudly in his chair

“It seems luck favored you today,” I replied

He leaned in close again, lowering his eyes and face taking on that smirk of his. “So it has,” and his voice was all but innocent.


	51. Western Approach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was wondering when that demon army would show up

* * *

So much space, with nothing in it, that was my thought of the Western Approach. The dessert went on and on, but there weren’t any people, just wyven’s, phoenixes you’re occasional nug and apparently darkspawn. Were the Warden’s gathering because of the darkspawn?

Scout Harding seemed as confused as I was about it all. She pulled out a map of the region, it was as tall as she was. Warden Alistair and Hawke headed to this ritual tower last night. According to our scouts, that is where the Warden’s are and they aren’t alone, there is a Magister with them. Griffon Wing Keep is here,” she pointed to an X on the map, nestled right along the Eastern cliffs of the desert, “it is currently being held by Venatori, scouts say about 40 or 50 of them, if you can clear them out we can start moving our people in. Commander Cullen has left Knight Captain Rylen in charge of overseeing troop movements into the area, he is in the far tent,” she added, pointing to a small red tent toward the back of the camp. “Next time we run into each other, I hope it’s over a drink,” she said with a bashful smile.

Did Scout Harding just flirt with me?

“Let’s make that happen,” I replied, giving her an encouraging wink.

We had only been in camp for an hour and Bull, Dorian and Varric already had the soldiers laughing around the campfire… and drunk… I’m pretty sure they were already drunk.

Shaking my head at them, I made my way to the red tent. I had never met Knight Captain Rylen, but I know he and Cullen went way back, to Templar training I believe. “Knight Captain?” I called, pausing at the door. “Come in,” he answered, in an accent I could place.

“Inquisitor, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Cullen has uh well, he speaks very fondly of you,” he said with a wink

“I’ve also heard a great deal about you, Ser,” I replied, “What is your take on the Keep, do we have enough men to take it?”

He nodded, “I believe we do, the Venatori stationed there are small in number, your team, myself and perhaps one or two others should have no problem. Shall I prepare the men to head that way?”

I needed to get to the ritual tower but wanted a safe place to retreat to if things went awry. “If I send you with Bull and Dorian, would you have enough men to take it?” I questioned

He pulled out a piece of parchment, it looked like a list of names. Maybe the soldiers he had with him. After looking it over for a few minutes he nodded, “yes, I have 20 men here with me, Harding has another 10, plus your two friends, that should be plenty.”

“Fantastic!” I said, “at dawn, take your men to Griffin Wing Keep and claim it for the Inquisition. I will meet with Hawke and Warden Alistair at the ritual tower. Be poised, in case we need reinforcements or a place to fall back to, we aren’t sure what to expect at the tower.”

* * *

 

Alistair saw us before we saw him and came running across the desert toward us. He pulled me against him, “I’ve missed you; would it be inappropriate for me to shower you with kisses right now?” he asked

“It’s about time you showed up, we’ve been here for hours,” Sybil said, her tone harsh.

“Guess that answers that,” he replied giving me a pouty face

“There are lights coming from the tower, whatever the ritual is, it’s already started and it’s blood magic, I can smell it,” she scrunched up her nose in disgust, “you two take point, I’ll guard your backs.”

A canyon sat between us and the Ancient Tevinter style ritual tower. Alistair and I lead our group over the stone bridge and up the jagged steps. The closer we got the stronger the smell became, death and power. My necromancy tingled under my skin, recognizing the magic’s signature. I cast it forth, sending the purple light spilling ahead of us, piles of blue were highlighted, probably 20 bodies scattered in various spots.

Our pace quickened as we heard someone calling out, “No... NO!”

“Warden Commander Clarel’s orders were clear,” another voice sounded out.

The first thing I saw was a man standing on a raised platform, he was dressed in finery straight out of Tevinter, great another black mark on the Imperium, I thought.

Below him, amongst the scattered corpses stood about 10 Warden’s, each accompanied by their very own demon.

 “This is wrong,” a young man yelled, he was standing between the other Warden’s and the Venatori man.

“In war victory, in peace vigilance, in death…” the Venatori man said, mimicking the Warden’s oath

With a sickening slice, another Warden came up from behind, sliding a dagger deep into the younger Warden’s chest. Blood spewed forth, pulling another demon from a nearby rift.

“Stop this!” I yelled

“Inquisitor,” the man called, “what an unexpected pleasure. Lord Livius Erimond of Vyrantium, at your service,” he gave a dramatic bow.

“You’re not a Warden,” Alistair said stepping forward, between Erimond and myself

Erimond chuckled, “but you are… the one Clarel let get away,” he said, “and you found the Inquisitor and came to stop me? Shall we see how that goes?”

“Warden’s” I called, “this man is tricking you!”

“Were you hoping to sway them to your cause Inquisitor?” Erimond asked, “I’m afraid you are too late... Warden’s hands up.”

At his command each of them raised their hand. He had them all under his control.

“Corypheus has enslaved them,” Alistair stated, his usual playful tone completely gone.

“Actually, they did this to themselves,” Erimond said, “you see… The Calling has them all terrified, they looked everywhere for help…”

“Including Tevinter,” Alistair spat, completing Erimond’s sentence.

“Yes, and since it was my Master who put The Calling into their heads in the first place, we in the Venatori, were prepared. I went to Clarel full of sympathy and together we came up with a plan”

“Oh, this will be good,” Varric muttered, causing Sybil to glare daggers at him.

“We decided to raise a demon army, march into the deep roads and kill the Old God’s before they had a chance to awaken.”

“Ah, I was wondering when the demon army would show up,” I said

“You… knew about it? Well, knowledge didn’t help much, because here you are,” he was surprised but covered it well.

“Sadly, for the Warden’s, the binding ritual I taught their Mages has a side effect. They are now my Master’s slaves. This was a test, once the rest of the Warden’s complete the ritual, the army will conquer Thedas!” he said, villainous laugh ricocheting around the tower.

“So Corypheus influenced the Warden’s and made them complete the ritual,” I asked

“Made them…NO… everything you see here; they did of their own accord. That’s what makes it so beautiful, you see, fear is a great motivator and the Warden’s… well they were very afraid.”

“The Grey Warden’s would never do this willingly,” Varric called

“The Grey Warden’s care about nothing but stopping the blights, they will do anything to accomplish that,” he answered, “you should have seen Clarel, agonize over the decision… burdens of command I suppose…. You wouldn’t know anything about that now would you Inquisitor?”

“Why would the Wardens want to kill he Old Gods?” I asked

“A blight happens when darkspawn find an Old God and corrupt it, turning it into an Archdemon. If the Old God’s are all dead, there is nothing for them to corrupt, thus no blights… ever. The Warden’s sacrifice their lives and save the world… ironic, don’t you think,” he answered.

“This is a horrible idea,” Sybil chimed in, “whose to say that killing the Old God’s wouldn’t make everything worse?”

“Well,” Erimond chuckled, “good thing I’m taking this demon army off their hands then, in case that plan did make everything worse… wouldn’t you agree?”

“Why would Clarel risk using demons,” I asked, still trying to wrap my head around how the Warden’s could make such a bad choice. I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt but...

“Demons don’t need food, rest or healing, once bound they will never retreat, never question orders… the perfect army to fight through the deep roads or… across all of Thedas.”

“You know this will never work right, we will stop you,” I said

“Ah yes, my Master told me how to deal with you, should you be uncooperative,” he said raising his hand, triggering the anchor. “The anchor, that mark that allows you to pass though the fade, you stole it from my Master and now he has been forced to seek other means of entering the Fade, once I bring him your head his gratitude will be..”

Fighting back his hold on the anchor, caught him of guard, losing his footing he flew backwards as I broke free.

“Kill them!” he yelled sending the Warden mages and their pet demons at the four of us.

We were outnumbered but managed to come out on top, however amidst the battle, we lost Erimond.

“Well, that went well,” Sybil said, limping toward me once the fighting had ceased. She had a gash, down the length of her thigh, “here, let me heal that,” I said motioning for her to sit down.

“You were right,” Alistair said, “the Warden mages are all bound to Corypheus.”

“And the Warden warriors are sacrificing themselves to make it happen,” Sybil added, anger and disappointment heavy in her voice.

“Human sacrifice and demon summoning, who would think either of those are a good idea,” I asked to whomever was listening, I was having a hard time understanding why the Warden’s would do such a thing.

“The fearful and the foolish,” Sybil replied

“Hawke, they made a mistake, but they thought it was necessary,” Alistair stepped in, defending his brethren.

Sybil crossed her arms defiantly, “All blood mages do… they all have a story they tell themselves to justify bad decisions… and it never matters, their victims are still just as dead,” her eyes grew distant, “In the end, you are always alone with your actions.”

“Ug…” Alistair let out an exacerbated sigh, “I may know where the Wardens are, Erimond fled that way,” he said motioning out into the dessert, “There is an abandoned Warden fortress out there, Adamant.”

“Guess they didn’t want to summon a demon army out in public,” I added, trying to lighten the mood.

“Alistair and I will scout Adamant and confirm the other Wardens are there,” Sybil shook her head and headed back toward the bridge, “We will meet you back at Skyhold.”

“But…. I…” Alistair was looking back and forth between Sybil and myself, legs poised in mid step, he was so adorable.

“Alistair!” Sybil yelled, “let’s go!”

“Right… okay,” he humped, “see you at Skyhold,” he said, giving me a kiss on the forehead before running to catch up.

“That kid has got to grow some backbone if he’s really going to be King,” Varric said shaking his head.

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “let’s go see if Rylen cleared that fort.” Skyhold, and the chance to be in Alistair’s arms again, couldn’t come soon enough.

 

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	52. Never Been Good at Saying Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya is faced with some troubling news awaiting her return to Skyhold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pulled some pictures from my Origins game with Solona, seeing things through her eyes a bit. Keep going after he first picture, just FYI

* * *

Griffon Wing Keep was indeed cleared, as we approached, soldiers were cleaning up the mess left in their wake.  

“Care to do the honor’s?” Rylen asked, tossing me the Inquisition’s banner, which I attached to the rope and raised high into the air.

Seeing our flag dancing about in the wind always brought me a sense of peace. With all the chaos and fighting, it’s hard to remember that we are doing good, we are making a difference.

Scout Harding approached me, “letter from Leliana, Your Worship,” she said handing me a sealed parchment.

_Arya,_

_We have some unexpected guests and considering your companions, I want you to be prepared. Solona showed up with three other Warden’s, Anders, Oghren and Sigrun. She insists they want to join our cause and help however they can._

_She and Anders seem… close_

_It’s going to be a hot mess when you all get back to Skyhold._

_Best,_

_Lei_

I wasn’t even sure what to think about this news. One on hand, the very thought of Solona being around gave me a horrible, sickening feeling in my stomach. On the other hand, she would be a strong ally, I’d rather have her with us than against us… and she is the Hero of Ferelden, which adds another impressive title to our ranks. Then of course, there is the fact that for all my childhood, I looked up to the idea of Solona Amell, her life, her adventures… what do you do if given the opportunity to meet the one person you looked up to your entire life?

“Word has been sent to Skyhold; our people will be here in a few days’ time. For now, we’ve got Griffon Wing Keep under control Inquisitor, you are free to return to Skyhold whenever you are ready,” Rylen said, probably assuming the message held dire news.

**Dorian____________**

Her expression changed from surprise, to unsure, to dread in the span of time it took her to read the message.

“What is it?” I asked

She didn’t say anything when she handed me the letter. “I hear there is a message from Red,” Bull asked as he approached, “everything okay Boss?”

“We better get back,” she said heading toward the Keep, “please share the information with Bull and Varric when you’re finished.”

“Knight Captain, thank you for all you did in securing the Keep. We are needed back at Skyhold and will be heading out within the hour,” she told Rylen, who nodded and motioned toward a couple servants, “please pack enough supplies for the Inquisitor and her team,” he instructed.

* * *

 

Within a few days we were pulling into Sahrnia, it was freezing but the villagers seemed happy. Red Templars and Venatori were mining red lyrium from inside of people and experimenting by infusing beasts with the awful stuff.

Our people did their part, cleared the mines and freed those who still lived to return to their families. The woman in charge of the small village, knew what they were doing and allowed the red templars access to the mines… and the people. We apprehended her to sit in judgment at Skyhold, “burden of command” Josie had called it; Erimond’s words echoing in my mind, “you wouldn’t know about that would you?”

Solas had made the trip, due to an unexpected demon visitor, by the name of Ishmael, who requested an audience with the Inquisitor.

Being asked directly meant I had to oblige, so we spent a few days in the frigid cold, killed ourselves a conniving demon and requisitioned another fort, Suledin Keep, for the Inquisition.

The positive, Sybil and Alistair caught up to us just before we headed out.

* * *

 

I kept looking back at Sybil, she was so happy, her and Varric telling “tales of Kirkwall,” they had Dorian and Blackwall hooked. “And to think all this time I thought Minrathous was bad,” Dorian said with a chuckle.

The lump in my stomach got heavier and heavier the closer we got to Skyhold. “Bad news from home?” Solas asked pulling his black mare alongside mine.

“We have company waiting for us, the Hero of Ferelden and a few companions.” I explained.

“Isn’t that good?” he asked, “before the conclave, Cassandra and Leliana were looking for both her and the Champion of Kirkwall. Now, we have both of them, in addition to you, that looks good for us,” his tone was even.

I nodded, he was right, putting personal things aside, having Solona on our side was a good thing for both strength and reputation. “Maybe she’ll have better luck with the Warden’s, she is the Warden Commander after all,” I stated with a smile I knew he saw right through.

“Ah, so the negatives are more of the personal kind?” he questioned with one nod at Cullen and another at Alistair.

“Yes… and… one of her companions is Sybil’s boyfriend, Anders. Lei said he and Solona are “close,” I used my fingers to quote her word.  

He brought his fingers to his chin, as if to scratch a beard that was no longer there. “I see, you should tell her, better she hears it from you then find out everyone knew except her.”

“You’re right, take the lead?” I asked

He nodded and I slowed my pace, falling in beside Dorian. “I need to talk to Sybil for a moment, excuse us?” I asked. They all nodded and moved to the front, all except Varric, who slid in next to Cassandra,

“Bad news?” she asked, right to the point, as usual.

“A letter from Leliana, regarding Solona. She is at Skyhold and she is with Anders, Oghren and Sigrun.”

“And the but is?” she asked, face turning slightly green.

“Lei says she and Anders seem ‘close.’

Her face went from sad, to angry, to sad again. “After all we’ve been through, I pulled him up from nothing and have kept him safe all this time… just like that… gone…. It’s not surprising though, his soft spot for her never went away. He loved her and then she just disappeared, no goodbye, no reason just gone… he never healed.”

Varric must have heard because in an instant he was by our side, “Blondie? Really? After everything?” he stammered, face red with anger.

“Listen Hawke, you don’t have to come to Skyhold, you can meet us when we take Adamant or at Halamshirel… don’t put yourself in a place you don’t want to be,” he said placing a hand on her thigh.

“I know Varric, but if this is the case, I need to see for myself before I react. I respect him and will give him the opportunity to explain.”

**Solona_____________**

Skyhold was an interesting place, definitely ancient and Elvhen, although you couldn’t tell by looking at it. I found myself wondering if it was one of those things that takes on a shape based on the people who find it. The Inquisition needed a safe fortress and their military mind saw a fortified castle as the ultimate “safe,” thus Skyhold is just that.

The place is stocked full of loyal, on the brink of fanatic, people. Most of them refugees, it reminds me of Lothering, right after Ostegar was taken by darkspawn.

That’s one thing that isn’t here, darkspawn, not even an inkling of them. If it wasn’t for this annoying tune thrumming in the back of my mind, I could completely forget about the blighters.

Food was good, fresh and filled with pride from those who are cooking it. The Inquisition’s people love being a part of this, they have purpose and hope. I wonder how much they actually know about what is going on. Leliana and the Ambassador, Josephine, have filled me in a little but they are waiting for the Inquisitor and Commander to get back before we have a “full briefing.”

The one thing that I have confirmation about is that this Calling we are hearing is fake. Oghren and Sigrun seem relieved and have spent a lot of time celebrating in the Heralds Rest. I’m happy they have found comfort there. Personally, it gives me the creeps, I swear I hear a boy whispering to me every time I enter that place.

Leliana is different now, cold and I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s just who she has grown to become. Everyday, for years now, I wish I would have taken her up on that offer of traveling Orlais together. Maybe I would have, if I knew I wasn’t about to die. I’ve never been good at saying goodbye, never really had the chance.

The Circle took me from my family, without letting me say goodbye. Duncan took me from the Circle and I couldn’t say goodbye. Then, when I knew it was the end for me, I couldn’t make myself say it. I was fine with dying, if it meant those I love would get to live, if it meant Alistair got to live. But I knew, if I told him, or made any hint at a goodbye, he would’ve made sure he took that blow. I remember seeing Oghren, Sten and Zev holding him back, he fought free but not fast enough. I jumped on that dragon’s head and stabbed my sword right through the top of it gaping maw. I felt the Archdemon leave and pass through me, it was supposed to take me, but it didn’t. Darkness and the Archdemon’s voice echoing through every inch of my being then the smell of woodsmoke and oakmoss, Alistair’s arms holding me to his chest, “don’t die, don’t die, I can’t believe you were going to let it take you,” he whispered over and over again. I came to, meeting his gaze, “why am I alive?” I asked.

I hadn’t done it, Morrigan’s ritual, I just couldn’t put Alistair in that place, I couldn’t ask him to be intimate with her to save my life, to give her a child, just to save my life. Intimacy and children were two things he held very dear, conservative, yes, but important to him. I didn’t want him to spend his life feeling shame or worry or doubt.

So, I made the choice without him. I chose to keep the option to myself, just like I chose to take that final blow myself, thus sacrificing my life.

But life is funny sometimes. That night I left, I was toying with the choices that had been presented to me and wanted space to think. I went to the Redcliff tavern and spilt my guts to a dark-haired stranger. While I was gone, Morrigan took matters into her own hands. She knew I wouldn’t follow through; she was my friend and knew I wouldn’t ask Alistair to do something he felt so strongly against.

Nobody would ever say Morrigan wasn’t resourceful. She took my form, an easy feat for a shapeshifter, and went to him on her own. Alistair took part in her ritual without even knowing it and thus my soul wasn’t consumed when the Archdemon passed through me.

It was this same betrayal that drove a wedge between us. Alistair was hurt that I took away his ability to choose. He was hurt that I’d sacrifice myself so easily. And then there was his guilt over sleeping with Morrigan, whom he thought was me, he felt like he should have known but he didn’t and that tore him apart.

The tension was heavy, and we couldn’t work through it. So, when they asked me to become Warden Commander and take over Amaranthine Hold, I accepted. That was that, since then we’ve ran into each other here and there, Kirkwall, Antiva, in the midst of a life alone, it was nice to find comfort in someone you once cared deeply for. That was of course, before I descended into the deep roads for over a year.

I didn’t expect to have feelings for someone after Alistair. Especially not so quickly, but it happened, in Amaranthine. I fell hard for the funny, charming rebel mage Anders. And now, it’s been about a month since he drew the darkspawn poison from my body. In Soldiers Peak, we found feelings that had been dormant but blossomed quickly. I didn’t mean for it to happen this way, at first, I just wanted to feel… something… anything… but that morphed into late night walks and even a few conversations about living some place quiet, away from the Warden’s.

At first, he had said he was seeing someone, but it didn’t take much before he ceased talking about whomever she was. When I left Amaranthine without saying goodbye, I left a wound in his heart… a wound that only I can mend. As soon as I embraced the feelings, I could sense it. Like a bone that finally popped back into place.

As I stepped into the Herald’s Rest, I saw him leaning against the far wall, arms crossed across his broad chest. He still wore blue circle robes, and I don’t know why. Strands of his long blond hair had escaped from his ponytail, slightly covering one bright blue eye. The gold of his earrings sparkled in the low light of the tavern.

The image brought me back to my days and Kinloch Hold, before I fell head-over-heals for the golden eyed Templar, I had my sights on the older Mage. He was roughish, mysterious, dangerous…. All us girls swooned over him. The rumors of his daring escape attempts, and long stents in solitary confinement became akin to a trashy, smut, novel. He never had eyes for any of us apprentices but sometimes I’d overhear the senior mages talk about secret trifles in the storage room or larder.

That wasn’t the case now, now he turned those blue eyes on me and cast an almost coy smile in my direction. He didn’t come to me but waited for me to step into the dim corner. Then he grabbed me, swirling around, pinning me between his body and the wall. He bit my ear lobe and nibbled down my neck then blew slowly against my shoulders, causing me to shiver. “I hear the Inquisitor is on her way home,” he whispered, “with Cullen, Alistair and my girlfriend in toe.” This made me stop, he hadn’t mentioned anything about her and now she’s his girlfriend.

Turning in his arms I looked into his blue eyes, allowing heat to show in mine, “that’s of no concern,” I whispered, sliding my tongue up his neck. A growl was all the response I got before his lips met mine with a fiery passion. 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48533716652/in/dateposted-public/)

**Cullen______________**

The closer we got, the more my stomach fluttered. Solona was alive and at Skyhold. There was so much I wanted to say, “thank you” “I’m sorry,” “can we try again?”

Reaching to my neck I felt the round medallion hanging heavy against my chest. I had given it to her, the only thing I kept from my life before the Templars. After the Circle fell, I called her so many horrible things; she was going to get rid of it. Leliana stopped her and held onto it, would Solona take it back? Staring at Arya, I wondered…Do I want to give it to Solona again?

**Alistair________________**

The silence laid like a heavy fog over our party. We crested a hill and could see the massive fortress ahead, Skyhold. How is it even possible that no one had claimed such an impressive place? How hadn’t we seen it all those years ago on our journeys?

I knew Arya was upset about Solona being at Skyhold, but I didn’t entirely understand why she was this upset. I was staring at her curls bouncing along with the mare’s gait and didn’t hear Solas step into pace beside me. “The Hero of Ferelden casts a long shadow, Arya feels trapped in its darkness. A life, that had once helped her feel safe, has turned to a life she feels in competition with,” he said.

“what do you even mean?” I asked

“Do you know much of our Inquisitor’s life before…?”

I paused for a moment, Arya had shared bits and pieces of her history with me but not a lot really. I suddenly felt guilty, here I basically proposed to this girl without even trying to learn about her.

I must have looked shocked because Solas chuckled. You made the same assumption as the rest of us, that as a Circle mage, she was nothing before she became the Herald and then the Inquisitor.

“No, that’s not true, I loved her first, before she became either of those things, before the explosion of the temple,” I blurted out, but it sounded pathetic, even for me.

The mage raised his dark eyebrow at me, “Here,” he said extending his hand, “let me show you.” I took his hand and the world spun. Once it slowed, I was in a library, sitting on a rug. In front of the fire was a young girl, probably around 11 or 12. She held a book in her lap, big blue eyes dancing as they absorbed the words. Voices came from another room, laying the book on the table the girl jumped to her feet and ran toward the voices. I turned to the book, looking for a title but there wasn’t one, just a name S. Amell. I’d seen that book before, during the Blight, that was Solona’s journal.

The world spun again and stopped in the same library. At a wooden table sat an elderly woman and two teenage girls, one had black hair the color of obsidian and dark green eyes. The other I recognized at Arya. The woman was talking in Tevene, something about elemental magic. Movement in the corner of the room, and Arya’s head jerked up from the textbook in front of her. A young man with dark hair held his hand out to her, kissing her palm. The smile they shared spoke of intimacy and I recognized him… the Tevinter Magister that traveled with us now.

Spinning again, we were on a beach, Arya was holding a small body in her lap, green light pulsed from her hands, she was healing the child she held, then Templars dragging her away.

Lights flashed and we were in a big room, bunk beds lined all the walls. It looked like the apprentice quarters at Kinloch Hold. Arya was reading that same book to another mage, they sat shoulder to shoulder, “A Templar really, she loved a Templar?” the blond mage asked. Arya shook her head, holding the book to her chest, “wouldn’t that be wonderful, the romance, the danger,” she sighed with a dreamy smile.

In a long hallway, Arya is following a couple Templars, she looked unsure and distracted then ran right into the back of one of them. He turned, grabbing her before she fell to the floor. They paused for a moment staring into each other’s eyes.

One more glitch and we are standing on stairs leading up to a great fortress. Leliana stands in front of her, a dragon hilted sword in her outstretched arms. “Will you follow? Will you fight? The voices of the hundreds of peoples’ rallying call, “your Inquisitor!”

We came back to the present. “Arya used Solona’s story as strength so she could get through her own story,” I said, and the elven mage nodded, then placed his hand on my arm again.

“Solona?” I called her at the ball, I didn’t even pause just took her as if she were my possession. Seeing it from this perspective made me nauseous.

Next, I was standing next to a frozen lake, I saw Arya and Cullen, he was holding her, wrapped in his fur cloak, “when you look at me, who do you see?” she asked and he just froze, shame spreading across his face, as she walked away into the darkness.

This time, when I came back to the present the gate was rising, allowing access to Skyhold. Arya and Cullen led the party across the bridge and into the courtyard.

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48533717057/in/dateposted-public/)


	53. Love.... ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The picture of Solona and Cullen together comes from the Cullen Romance Mod by Cmessaz
> 
> The one of Cullen and Arya is just so sweet.... Cullen... such a heartbreaker 
> 
> Okay so for those of you reading... who do you think Arya should choose? The hopeless romantic in me wants to hear your thoughts?

* * *

Farren and a couple of Leliana’s scouts awaited us in the courtyard. I instructed them to see to the needs of Alistair and Sybil, rooms, food, baths, clean clothes, etc...

“Inquisitor,” Cullen said, “There is still that matter I wanted to speak with you about, do you mind giving me a moment?” That’s right, we never got to have that conversation. “Of course, Commander,” I said, handing my reins to Dennet.

 “Arya?” Alistair called to me. “Just a moment Cullen,” I nodded to the other man. Meeting Alistair’s gaze with my own, I couldn’t help but smile. Even with the weariness of traveling, he looked amazing. Reddish brown stubble covered the lower part of his face, making his hazel eyes look more green then brown. He gave me that lopsided grin, when he caught me smiling. He took a step toward me, lifting my hand and placing a kiss on it, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said before falling into step behind one of the servants.

Cullen and I ended up standing on the battlements, the sun was setting, the last of it’s light reflecting off the snow caped mountains.

“You wanted to speak about something?” I asked

“Yes, I uh,” he was blushing and doing that nervous thing he does to the back of his neck.

Everything about him was endearing and I felt my heart fill with warmth. “Are you feeling better?” I asked, attempting to ease his nervousness.

“yes, much better, getting out and being busy really helped, thank you for your part in that,” he said.

“Listen Arya, I wanted to share what happened to me at the Ferelden Circle, I told you some, but I want you to hear the truth from me.” He said, voice shaking.

I jumped on the ledge of the battlements, nestled between two columns and pulled him in against me. “I’d love to hear,” I whispered

He gave me a genuine smile, and grabbed my hand, laying a kiss in almost the same spot Alistair had only moments before. 

“Before the Circle fell, I was stationed there, a new recruit, fresh from training. It was a quiet place, most of the Mages were well behaved and went about their lives as if we didn’t exist. One night I was doing my rounds through the library when I heard books falling, I ran toward the sound, a bookshelf was about to topple, smashing a girl beneath it. Instinct had me moving, I grabbed her and rolled her out of the way. We ended up in a tangled mess on the floor, her beneath me. When our eyes met, I was speechless, she was beautiful, dark hair framing bright blue eyes. She smiled at me, “is that your sword I feel, or are you just happy to see me?” she asked. I froze and giggles erupted from her parted lips. I probably turned the color of a tomato, me being a proper Chantry boy, I didn’t know how to handle such innuendos.”

He paused then looking to me for reassurance that I was okay hearing this. “That’s a good line, wish I would have thought of it,” I told him with a wink. He continued, “From then on Solona and I were inseparable, we spent whatever free time we had with each other, studying in the library, strolling the gardens, or playing games. We kept it casual in front of others but whenever a chance came to be truly alone, we took full advantage of it. Nobody said anything directly, but there were whispers... then the day came for her Harrowing and I was the one chosen to wield the ‘blade of mercy.’ It was an obvious test, one that I managed to bluff my way through because she beat the demon. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if she hadn’t and I wasn’t able to do my duty?

That was also the day that the Warden showed up, Duncan, he was asking for mages to join the war. I suppose you know this part of the story… that day she left with Duncan… at the time, I thought it to be the worst day of my life. All that I had seen in my future walked out those heavy metal doors and into sure death, and I could do nothing to stop her.”

He looked to me again, “what happened then?” I asked.

“Well I allowed myself to be consumed by my duties, I spent countless hours in the Chantry praying to Andraste and the Maker. I took on other shifts as often as I could. My fellow Templar’s started talking, even teased me, and some… well some told me she had used blood magic to make me love her. Then the Ulfred came back from Ostegar, ‘all the Warden’s died’ he told us, and they ‘murdered the King.’ He started spouting lies and eventually beset the Circle with blood magic and abominations. They kept us locked up like animals, made us watch as they tortured us, they forced us to fight each other. I was the only one left, when she came for me. I didn’t know it was her at first, the demons had been tempting me with her image for days, I hadn’t slept, hadn’t had food or water or lyrium, just her daring me to touch her, to feel her one more time.  But this time it was different, she didn’t disappear when I told her too. She stood on the other side of my prison and cried, “but I love you… I thought you and I?” she asked. I called her a sin, I called her unworthy, a disgusting disgraceful creature… so many horrible things and yet… yet… she marched into that Harrowing chamber, fought against those she had grown up with and saved us, she saved me.”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48533716892/in/dateposted-public/)

 

He had tears streaming down his cheeks, brushing them with my fingertips, I laid a kiss on his brow. I wanted to spew off the justifications for his actions, you had been tortured, you were delirious, you were withdrawing, but that’s not what he needed, what he needed was for me to listen and to know that I don’t think less of him.

He took a shaky breath and continued. “After that she left, and I was sent away to heal. I never lived it down, everywhere I went people talked about how I broke the rule, fell in love with a mage and was a broken man. Meredith, ironically enough, was the first one who actually stood up for me about it, ‘His past is his past, we all have one,’ she said to the other Templar’s in Kirkwall. Our past, has always haunted me, she and I… well we haven’t spoken since she saved me at Kinloch. I saw her once, after she killed the Archdemon, she and Alistair triumphet and celebrating their victory in Denerim. They looked so happy; I couldn’t interrupt it. And now, well… now she is here, and I honestly don’t know what that means.”

He gently guided me down from the ledge, lifted my chin with his thumb, bringing our eyes in line. His gaze was intense, emotions swirling in his molten depths, Maker he was beautiful. “Whatever happens now,” he said, “I want you to know that the times you and I have shared, the memories, the well… all of it, has been real.”

Wait… was he going to break up with me, suddenly this felt a lot like a breakup talk, and the very thought made me want to cry. I cast my gaze downwards. “Don’t look away Arya, this is important,” he confirmed, “Having Solona here doesn’t change my feelings for you. I have grown to care about you a great deal. We... well we have responsibilities to the Inquisition, there is a lot of risk in you and I being romantically involved, either of us could… you could… I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to you Arya, but I do know that if I was asked to save you, or save the Inquisition, I would choose you and that is well…. “

He was stuttering so much but the meaning behind his words was so sweet, I tried to fight myself, fight my urge to take what he offered but I just couldn’t do it… “Cullen, kiss me,” I commanded, he lent in slowly, tears fell from his eyes, showing the intensity of his emotions, “I love you,” he whispered against my lips before he closed the tiny space between us. He tasted sweet, like honey and I devoured it.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48435973187/in/dateposted-public/)


	54. New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New friends.. is that good or bad?

* * *

I awoke to the birds chirping outside my window. The sun had barely crested the horizon and a heavy dew covered everything, telling me it was early in the morning. 

I pulled on a sleeveless emerald tunic and soft cotton leggings, left my feet bare and my hair lose to fall around my hips. I didn’t want to go into the main hall because I knew people would swarm me as soon as I descended the stairs, but I wanted to get to the Herald’s Rest for something to eat. I paced back and forth trying to decide what to do for a while, finally landing on climbing down from my balcony.

It took a little maneuvering, but I eventually got down, finding myself close to the tower set aside as an infirmary. The surgeon sat on the stairs, looking a little bored to be honest. Usually there were patients, sick refugees, injured scouts littered around the small area but today there was nobody.

As I approached, she stood “Inquisitor, we are please you returned safely,” she said, “and I want you to know, that healer you sent, he is amazing, fixed all the patients right up in just the couple days he’s been here!”

That was odd, I didn’t send a healer. “A healer?” I asked, “Yes, Your Worship, tall, blond, mage, easy on the eyes,” she said, her cheeks turning a little rosy, “he turned up about a week ago, said he was joining the cause.” She started to look a little unsure, “he’s inside, tending to Maude’s little girl, twisted her ankle running… she did.”

“Thanks,” I said, stepping up to the tower door.

Once inside, I saw the green glow of healing magic, but it was dark so I couldn’t make out much else. The light faded and I could make out the silhouette of a man.

“Thanks Sir, it’s all better now,” came a child’s voice

“Next time be more careful,” said the man, ruffling the girls short red hair.

The little girl jumped down from the table and ran out of the room, barely glancing at me as she passed.

The man must have felt my presence, because he spun around rapidly, eyes glowing blue and staff pointed in my direction. The anchor sparked as if there was a rift nearby, it was as if this man was a bridge between the fade and the real world. His eyes darted to my hand and he dropped to his knees, tossing his staff aside. “I’m sorry Inquisitor, I was startled,” he said voice smooth. He met my gaze, blue eyes bright like the summer sky but not glowing as they were before. “I apologize, I should have said something, rather than lurking in the corner.” Feeling the tension ease, I stepped around the man and jumped up to sit on the exam table.

“My surgeon says you have healed everyone in a few days, that she has been working on for months. Does that speak to your skill or does it mean I need a better surgeon?”

He was standing in front of me now, a brilliant smile crossing his face, “That’s a good question, perhaps the answer is both?” he replied, voice playful.

He cocked his head, earrings reflecting light from the window behind me, “My name is Anders,” he said, “I got here about a week ago and offered assistance where I saw need, I hope I didn’t overstep.”

“Anders, is it? You are one of the Warden’s traveling with Warden Commander Amell?” I asked

Piss, I didn’t expect to be dealing with this so soon. I could see what Sybil saw in this man. He was tall, with dandelion blond hair tied in a low pony, his blue eyes held an intensity I hadn’t seen before. His mannerisms were playful, with an underlying darkness… it reminded me of Alistair. I wonder if it was a character trait shared by the two men or if it had something to do with the taint… although Blackwall didn’t feel the same.

“That’s right, Inquisitor, although I am not a Warden… well not a practicing one, I did travel here with Solona,” he answered.

“I thought Wardeness was in the blood, not something you could just give up?” I asked, curiosity about this man growing.

“It is, but I have decided to use my magic to heal, rather than fight, so I stay away from the Wardens and do my own thing,” he said.

“Commendable,” I replied, “I know you were in Kirkwall for a number of years… what about before then and since…well since you blew up the Chantry?”

I thought about being gentler but how else do you ask someone that.

His eyes narrowed at my question and I felt that pull, like the fade rifts again… my mark flared to life, causing me to shake my hand.

“That thing doesn’t like me,” he commented, motioning at the anchor.

“It reacts to tears in the veil, when you get angry, your energy pulls at it causing it to flare up… maybe it has something to do with… well you know the whole abomination thing….” I said, one again, how do you bring that up nicely.

He stared at me a little dumbfounded, “How do you know so much?’ he asked.

“Well…. Varric has been at my side since I awoke with this blasted anchor, you know how he likes to tell stories. And then there is the whole fact that you’re dating my cousin, who has been traveling with me for the last month…”

He looked at the ground, “Is Sybil here?” he asked

I nodded, “yes, she came in with me last night and yes, she heard about you and Solona being close, from the Arl of Redcliff…” I let my words trail off because he raised his gaze and his eyes were glowing again.

“She made him weak!” he said but it wasn’t his voice, this was the voice of rage. “Solona encourages him to be strong, she matches his sense of justice and will slaughter any who try to divert him from the path I have chosen!” the voice yelled at me.

Okay… this is odd but actually makes more sense than him cheating. Note to self… talk to Solas about abominations and possession.

I cleared my throat and reached toward him, intending to try calming him with my touch but the anchor flared and arched from my palm to him, the rage voice let out a gasp and Anders fell to the floor. “Anders, are you okay?” I asked

He looked at me, fear in his eyes, “it’s happening more often now, I don’t know who I am anymore,” his voice held panic.

“One of my associates knows a great deal about spirits and the fade, perhaps he can help. Would you be interested in talking to him?” I asked

Anders nodded, “perhaps later, I am feeling very tired, I think I will go lie down for a while.”

‘Let me help you,” I said sliding form the table and resting his arm across my shoulders. He was quiet as we walked up to the little room that had been designated his. “Thank you, Inquisitor, perhaps we can talk more another day,” he said before falling onto the feather bed. I covered him with a blanket that had been discarded on the ground. “Rest well Anders.”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48539450896/in/dateposted-public/)

 

From Anders’ room the Herald’s Rest was an easy trip. The smell of breakfast floated from the tavern’s small kitchen. Stepping in, I made a beeline for the Chargers normal spot. “Come to join us for breakfast, Boss!” Bull called out handing me a plate of partially eaten biscuits and gravy, “I’ll get my own... thanks,” I replied handing it back to him. He shrugged, “have it your way.”

“I’ll take it if she don’t want it,” Sera added, grabbing the plate from Bull’s hands.

A loud voice behind me caused me to turn around, “you owe me a round ya little nug,” a red headed dwarf was saying to the young recruit Sutherland. “You won that round of Wicked Grace far and share, Sir dwarf,” Sutherland said, “a round for my friend here and his lady.”

“No… no I prefer to not be a drunken imbecilic… give mine to Oghren,” said a female dwarf at his side.

“Oh Sigrun, I can feel your love like the blunt end of a maul,” said the red headed dwarf.

I looked at Bull and Sera, “who are they?”

“Well….  that other one, she brought them and a blond mage,” Sera said sounding unimpressed.

“The Warden Commander showed up here about a week ago, she brought the two dwarves and a healer by the name Anders. They are in here most of the time. The Commander and the mage seem to stick to themselves…. well each other… if you know what I mean,” Bull said, winking his one eye.

“What are your thoughts on the Commander?” I asked

“Piss” Sera said, heading to the bar for another drink.

“Rumor has it she is here to help, Red and her know each other, the Spymaster hasn’t sent her away or had her killed… nonetheless… there is something off about her. Not to mention the uncanny resemblance she has to you… it’s a tad off putting,” he answered.

I downed the last of my drink, “guess I should go introduce myself to our new friends… and order us all another round.”

“Woot woot,” called the Chargers, always ready for another drink.

I approached the bar, Cabot saw me before the dwarves, “Inquisitor?” he said in that way that is both a question and a statement.

The redheaded dwarf choked on his swig of brew when he heard my title, but the female turned around first. “My Lady Inquisitor, I am Sigrun of the Grey Wardens and the League of the Dead,” she said extending her hand to me. I shook it, “Welcome to Skyhold, I apologize for being absent when you arrived.”

“Heh heh… I’m Oghren,” said the red headed dwarf also extending his hand, but pulling it back and wiping it on his pants when he noticed the mixture of ale and mucus coating it, “heh came out my nose, burns like fire,” he said extending it again. I took it despite it being gross.

“I was just ordering a round for my friends,” I said motioning back to the Chargers, “would you like to join us?”

Sera let out a grunt that sounded just like Cassandra. I wonder what she had against the dwarves. They both ignored her. “Yes, we’d love that,” said Sigrun.

“Another round Cabot,” I said, and he just grunted.

I don’t know how many rounds I had but my head started to feel fuzzy, so I excused myself. The two dwarves and the Chargers were getting along well, trying to outdo each other with tales of battles and foes.

The sun was low in the sky, telling me it was evening. The smell of food wafted from the main Keep, causing my stomach to flip… that’s right, I needed to eat something, and it was apparently dinner time.

Stepping into the main hall, a host of heads turned in my direction. The Orlesian nobles began snickering under their breath and I remembered my lack of proper clothes and shoes… I was shoeless.

Leliana approached me first, “Inquisitor, dinner will be served shortly, can we speak in private?” she asked guiding me to my door and through the maze of onlookers.

Once inside she turned an angry look at me. “Arya, you have been away for a while and have new guests to present at dinner. You can’t do that looking like…and you smell like a brewery” her words trailed off as she waved her hands at my choice of clothing. “Come let’s get you cleaned up.”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48539625961/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48539773217/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48539831242/in/dateposted-public/)


	55. Is this Dinner or Hell?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody told her it'd be easy... thankfully she has Dorian to help.

* * *

About 45 minutes later, I was staring at myself in my dressing mirror feeling beautiful. Lei was puttering around, filling me in on all the things I missed.

“Tonight, will be the first night that you introduce our new allies,” she said, “which means everyone will be together… everyone.” Her eyes held fear. “I hope it stays civil and doesn’t turn into a brawl,” she smiled.

“Lei, I haven’t even met Solona, how am I supposed to introduce her?” I asked.

“Don’t worry, I will announce people, you just help with the conversation and you know mingling,” she said, placing a blue broach in my elaborately braided hair, “there all ready,” she sighed, “you’re so beautiful Arya,” she lent in and kissed me. Her lips held heat, which turned the supposed innocent kiss to something a little more.

“I will see you downstairs,” she said with a warm smile.

Turning back to the mirror I took one last look at the dark purple gown. It was made of leather and crushed velvet and managed to say I am both dangerous and beautiful. Lei had styled my hair into a multiple braided half up, half down style. I really liked this look.

“Alright Arya, let’s do this,” I told myself

* * *

 

The main hall had been transformed into a dining room. Huge tables ran across the length of it. Smaller couches and cushions were along the outside of the room, meant for more comfortable seating and more intimate conversations.

People were mingling around but nobody had taken a seat yet. Varric approached me first, “Nightingale is tense, so something is up… you know what it is?” he asked.

“We are apparently going to have all our guests together for dinner tonight,” I answered.

“All of them?”

“Yep”

“Ah well… we’re going to need more to drink.” then he wondered off to one of the servants, most liking requesting more ale and wine.

People started to come in, filling the space with conversation and laughter. Solas came up behind me, “Are you nervous?” he asked making me jump. He laughed at my reaction, “I’m a little on edge,” I said feeling my face heat up with embarrassment.

“Have you seen her yet?” he asked

I shook my head, knowing he meant Solona, “Have you?”

“Yes, she came into the solarium earlier this evening looking for the library.”

“And?”

“And I escorted her to the library…” he smiled; he was being vague on purpose.

I gave an exasperated sigh, “have you met the mage she brought along?” I asked

“No, I have not.”

“Well, he has something you may be able to assist him with, I will introduce you this evening.”

“What could I possibly offer him?” he asked

“Assistance,” I answered with a wink, before walking away.

I heard Dorian’s velvet chuckle through the crowded space and headed toward it, if she was in the library… I’m sure they interacted.

Pushing my way through the crowd I froze because standing next to Dorian was Solona Amell. She wore a light blue cotton gown, cinched around the waste with a brown leather bustier. Her chestnut curls, just like mine, were piled atop her head. She was laughing and it caused her sapphire blue eyes to sparkle. Her chin and jaw line were more angular, sharper than mine, she was a little taller and slightly slenderer in the hips but other than those slight differences, we looked like twins.

Dorian was in the middle of a story, laying on the charm like only he could, and she was hooked. I could see it in the way she stood and by the lines of her nipples showing through the thin fabric of her gown. Dorian’s gaze floated over her head as two tall blonds walked through the main entrance. Alistair was animatedly demonstrating a sword strike and Cullen was intently listening, the lines of his face set in a pleased but neutral state. Recognizing Dorian’s distraction, Solona turned in the direction of his gaze. Cullen looked up, meeting my eyes then hers and everyone stopped.

**Solona___________________**

I hadn’t seen the two of them standing this close since we liberated Kinloch Hold. Alistair and I had ran into each other here and there over the years, seeking comfort in an otherwise solitary existence. Cullen, however, I hadn’t seen since the day he ripped my heart from my chest. Unconsciously, my hand went to said heart, where his amulet used to sit.

“Lady Amell, have you met the Commander?” asked the Tevinter mage at my back.

“Yes, actually we were at the Ferelden Circle together, but it’s been awhile,” my voice came out shaky.

“Ah I see,” he said with a knowing chuckle, “I’ll let you get reacquainted then.”

I stepped forward, unsure of what to do. Cullen’s eyes were on me, his body tense. Alistair just stood there… the whole thing was awkward.

No longer able to a handle it I closed the distance; Cullen opened his arms pulling me gently into his embrace. He smelled like Elderflower, Oakmoss and blade oil.

“Solona… I…” he started to stumble, trying to get words out.

“Not now Cullen,” I said, “Just hold me.”

**Arya___________________**

It all happened in slow motion, Dorian stepped away and Solona stepped into Cullen’s outstretched arms. They fit snugly together, melding into each other. My heart sank to my stomach, nausea causing me to cover my mouth with my hand. Alistair saw me then and stepped in my direction.

I couldn’t handle this.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48539782861/in/dateposted-public/)

 

Turning abruptly, I ran into Dorian’s hard chest. He didn’t say a word just picked me up and disappeared into the crowd. We darted into one of the corridors leading down to Skyhold’s bowels. It was dark and damp, but Dorian lit the torches as we passed. The flickering light from the candle-lit hidden library appeared in front of us. Once inside he sat me on top of the little desk, books, parchment and quills clattering to the floor.

I was crying now; I didn’t even know why. I was hurt and angry and embarrassed.

“and the almighty Inquisitor runs from the room at the sight of her Commander hugging another girl,” I said mocking myself.

“What is wrong with me Dorian?” I pleaded

He brushed my hair back from my eyes, “Nothing is wrong with you Arya. You know the history between those two, you know that ‘hug’ held years of unshed tears and words that need to be said.”

“But I feel so… so horrible whenever I think of having her here, having her traveling with us and living with us…the thought makes me physically ill… I don’t understand. And Cullen… he isn’t even my… anything. Why do I care if they… do whatever it is they end up doing?”

He laughed and it bounced off the walls in the small space, sounding much louder than it actually was.

“It’s not funny Dorian,” I said punching his shoulder

“Oh Amatus… but it is,” he said, eyes watering.

“If you’re going to laugh at my misery then just leave,” I punched him again, tears falling anew. 

He didn’t leave but instead pulled me against his chest. “That sick feeling you’re talking about… that’s jealousy Arya,” he said voice serious again.

“Jealous… of what?” I asked

“You grew up looking up to the figure of Solona Amell, you put her on a pedestal and now you feel like you have to compete with her. You see her as so much more then you, she has held the hearts of the men you love, and you just don’t see how they could ever love you, if they could have her,” he said, “but Arya, you don’t need to compare yourself to her. You are wonderful and amazing all on your own. Look at the people massing here, they are here because of you… we are here because we love you, we follow you, we are united under your banner, never before has a group this diverse worked together but now we are and its not because of Solona Amell, it’s because of you.”

I nodded, wiping the drying tears from my cheeks.

“Now go up there and be you, be Arya, be their Inquisitor. If Cullen or Alistair choose her, that is their loss but their choice. Remember that you are not alone, you have me, and I am way more beautiful than either of them,” he said fanning himself dramatically.

I leant forward laying a kiss on his dimpled chin, “thank you Dorian.”

“Anytime Amatus,” he said with a wink, “let’s go show them all who’s the boss.” He held his arm out and I wrapped mine around it.

We decided to follow the corridor up to the kitchen and enter the Keep from the outside for drama’s sake.

“Inquisitor,” said the startled cooks, “everyone is sitting for the first course, you best hurry.”

Dorian and I rushed across the courtyard and up the steps. He stopped me on the landing, fixing my hair and making sure all evidence of crying was gone.

“You look beautiful,” he said, “I like the warrior goddess style.”

“Me too,” I replied

“Ready?” he asked

“Ready!” I confirmed

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48539715926/in/dateposted-public/)

Outside the closed door stood one of Leliana’s scouts, “My Lady Inquisitor, shall I announce you and Master Pavus?” he asked.

“Announce us,” I said using my commanding voice

He opened the door, “Inquisitor Trevelyan, escorted by Master Pavus.” His voice boomed out over the main hall.

Everyone stood and watched us enter. At the head of the round table was a slightly raised chair, my chair. Dorian walked me to it, released my arm, giving me a slight bow, then took an empty spot next to Solas.

I faced my people and they all looked at me, they wouldn’t sit until I did.

“People of the Inquisition,” I started, “We have united together for a cause and today we celebrate that cause! We celebrate a great victory, one that has never been won before, we celebrate a victory if alliance! And tonight we open our arms and our hearts to new partners, new allies, Warden Alistair, Hero of the Fifth Blight, Warden Oghren of Amaranthine, Warden Sigrun hailing from the League of the Dead, Warden Commander Solona Amell, also known as the Hero of Ferelden, The Healer Anders, and Sybil Hawke The Champion of Kirkwall!”

Applause sounded after each title, at the end we all toasted in unison “too alliances.” I took my seat and the crowd followed.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48539819601/in/dateposted-public/)


	56. Strategy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya is still unsure about things but life goes on and the Inquisition has work to do.... focus on that.

* * *

It was later that night, I had retreated to the solitude of my quarters, when there was a knock on my door. I contemplated not answering but found myself descending the steps, nonetheless. Was it Cullen, coming to explain; Solona coming to introduce herself; was it Solas, Leliana, all the different possibilities went through my head.

I opened the door to Alistair’s lopsided grin… “I brought wine and cheese?” he said holding up a bottle and small platter, one in each hand.  I couldn’t help smiling, “come on up,” I said grabbing the bottle and pulling the cork out with my teeth. I followed him up the stairs, taking swig after swig of the sweet beverage and enjoying the view of his backside.

“Wow! You’ve got quit the bedroom here Arya” he said taking in the room.

“Best part is out there,” I pointed to the open balcony doors and he followed my arm with his gaze. He set down the platter and stepped outside, sighing at the view. “It is beautiful, but I don’t know…. I think the best part might be you,” he said smirking before grabbing my waist and pulling me into a deep kiss. His lips were hungry, and I dropped the bottle to the floor, choosing instead to run my fingers up his broad shoulders and through his copper blond hair.

With one motion he ripped the gown from my body and lifted me up into his arms, never breaking the kiss. He tossed me on the bed, removing his clothes. Not wanting to wait for him, I clambered to the edge, wrapping my lips around his shaft. He shuddered with pleasure, throwing his head back, a groan escaping his parted lips. He pulled his throbbing cock from my mouth and raised me to his lips. Claiming mine with a hungry kiss he lowered us to the bed. I turned around, arching my back, raising my ass to his cock. He let out a curse running his finger along my wetness from cunt to ass. I moaned at his touch and he smacked his errection against me, before sliding it slowly into my core.

He started moving so slow it almost hurt, but he held my hips still so I couldn’t push back. “Alistair, faster” I begged, he chuckled at me but didn’t move his hands. He reached his hand to where our bodies met, using our wetness to lubricate it. Then he started circling my anus with his moist fingers, sliding one, then the other inside. Pulling his shaft out, he moved it to my anus, now stretched and wet from his machinations. “May I?” he asked, voice hoarse. “yes, but be careful,” I said

“If it becomes too much just tell me,” he said, parting the tightness with his thumb. He slid himself in pausing until I relaxed around him. Then he slid his fingers inside my cunt. The feel of him, filling me so entirely was intoxicating but not nearly as much as the noises he made with every thrust. I reached down, circling my own clit, he was getting close, I could tell by his breathing and I wanted to cum with him filling me.

Knowing exactly where to touch myself for a quick orgasm, my cunt started spasming. “Are you ready?”

“Don’t hold back Alistair, fill me up, I want you dripping from me,” I cooed.

That was all he needed, in another thrust he released himself, holding my hips for balance as I convulsed around him.

We collapsed on my bed, he pulled me into his arms, engulfing my small form with his. That’s how we feel asleep, a tangled mess of blankets and bodies.

**Alistair___________________**

I awoke much the same way I had fallen asleep, with Arya’s body wrapped around mine. Her face was serene as she slept and dreamt, hopefully of me.

Every day we are together, I see her in a different light. Last night at dinner, she spoke to her people, filling them with hope and pride. She was a magnificent leader, and I felt all the more confident about her as Queen. Will she accept me? Does she love me?

I broke my rule, coming to her like I did last night, I said I was going to court her the right way… was what we did the ‘right way’… it surely felt right in the moment… it felt like what we both needed.

But what of the Tevinter Dorian? Solas showed me their history, as well as, something building between her a Cullen. As I stared at her freckled face, I wanted to be the one standing at her side, helping her fight her battles, both physical and internal. I wanted to protect her, cherish her, wake up each morning with her in my arms. But I know she needs to make the choice herself; I know that pressuring her would be bad. So, I am resigned to waiting and hoping, taking the time I get and proving my worth, love and loyalty with my actions.

Not wanting to ruin the moment by getting up, I urged myself to doze back off… the world wasn’t going to disappear if I spent a few more hours holding onto the woman I love.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48613122948/in/dateposted-public/)

* * *

 

**Arya_________________**

Josie wasn’t at her desk when I passed on my way to the war room, she must already be inside. I needed to speak with her about Halamshirel, but it’d have to wait, we have some strategic planning to do.

Stepping through the doors, the room hushed as my advisers looked to me. Were they talking about me? Whatever, it didn’t matter, I was not in the mood for drama.

“Alright, let’s go over what’s on the table,” I stated, taking my post across from Cullen.

“Wardens are amassing at Adamant Fortress,” Sybil chimed in first and Alistair moved some blue and silver colored soldiers to the Western Approach. When did we start painting them into factions? I thought to myself.

“Western Approach is a very long trek, but thanks to Rylen, we now have control of Griffon Wing Keep. We have been transporting supplies and men there,” Cullen moved our Inquisition patrol soldiers to the X that marked the Keep.

“Griffon Wing Keep,” Alistair added, “It was a Warden stronghold during the second blight,” he half questioned, half stated, “That will be a good post for our people if we are to attack Adamant.”

They all paused and looked at me…. “What else?” I asked

“You have been invited by Duke Gaspard to the Winter Palace. He has arranged for the Inquisition to be invited but has requested he escort you personally Inquisitor,” Josie said, shaking her quill every time she emphasized something.

“Me personally?” I asked, “is there a reason for that?”

Josie looked down, blushing a tad and cleared her throat.

“He has heard of your beauty and that you are unmarried Inquisitor,” Leliana jumped in saving her friend, “We believe he wishes to… seduce you and possibly seek your hand.”

At the exact same moment Cullen yelled, “Absolutely NOT,” and Alistair managed to get a “NO” out through the gulp of kaffe’ he was choking on.

Sybil, Leliana, Josie and I looked at the two men. “I believe that is up to the Inquisitor,” Sybil stated, “Not the two of you.”

I shook my head, Sybil was right, but it did feel good to have them both so obviously against the idea.

“After all,” started Leliana, “I don’t see either of you offering a counter…”

The boys looked at the Spymaster, faces turning a bright scarlet at her comment.

“Josie,” I said clearing my throat, “Run me through this scenario, what would it look like for me to wed Duke Gaspard? And what implications come with me attending the ball as his plus one?” 

“In all technicalities, Gaspard is the rightful ruler of Orlais. However, Celene, is an expert at “The Game,” and out moved him politically by gaining the Council of Heralds. Gaspard is a renowned Chevalier and war hero, known for his even temper, however he doesn’t dance the dance, in fact, he is open about his disdain for The Game.” she explained.

“Gaspard is a man of action and would be the best one for us to ally with in the fight against Corypheus,” Cullen added.

“That is one perspective,” Josie said, “Celene was given the crown by the council… what she did to gain their support is not the point, she does have a legitimate claim and has ruled Orlais well. I see no reason why she cannot continue doing so.”

“It is not up to The Inquisition to decide who will or will not rule Orlais,” I interrupted, “our goal is to stop an assassination, let their peace talks do their due-diligence.”

“Right, I apologize Inquisitor,” Josie said, “You arriving on the arm of the Duke will probably shock the court, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. The more the people see you, the more power the Inquisition gains. It may bring Celene’s defenses up. She views her cousin as a usurper and may see you as taking his side. However, if you play correctly, you can turn the tides in our favor.”

“Marrying him would make you a Duchess, as a Mage, that is quite the feat. If he ended up winning the peace talks, his wife would become Empress. The two of you would make a strong ruling couple,” Leliana said, her blue gaze pausing on Alistair, “however, that would be the case with any rule, I believe.”

“Well, as fun as this match making is,” Sybil said, “we should keep our focus on defeating Corypheus, if he wins there will be no Thedas left to rule over.”

“Where are we with Corypheus?” I asked

“We have come across correspondence from Samson, leading us to the Emerald Graves,” Cullen said.

“Venatori agents have been spotted in most regions, my scouts aren’t sure what they are doing but they seem to be looking or something,” Leliana added.

“Corypheus himself has not been seen since Haven however,” Alistair chimed in.

“What about the Calling? Is it getting worse?” I asked looking at Alistair.

“Still about the same, some days I can block it out no problem but other days it haunts me, it seems to be better here at Skyhold, not as loud or as often,” he commented, eyes looking past me, distant and even a little tortured.

“What about the other Warden’s, have you spoken to them about it?” I asked Alistair.

“What about Anders?” I added looking at Sybil.

“Solona?” I turned my gaze on Cullen

They all gave me blank stares.

“I know this is a touchy subject right now, for all of us, but we need to know where they stand,” I stated

“Alistair, as the senior Warden of the group, do you think you can approach them?” I asked

He dropped his gaze to the war table, and ran his fingers through his hair, still tousled for our bedroom adventures.

“I may be senior in time as a Warden, but I am not senior in respect. Solona is the Warden Commander of Ferelden, she is the one they confide in, the one they respect,” he said still looking down.

His voice sounded sad, I wonder if he regrets not taking the leadership role all those years ago, when he handed it off to Solona. I flashed back to my Hero of Ferelden story.

_We stood on a small wall looking out at the tiny village of Lothering. At our feet lay the dead highwaymen we had just defeated._

_“Are you still moping?” Morrigan asked Alistair, venom evident in her words._

_“I’m doing no such thing,” he replied, looking at his feet._

_“You have been quiet, something you need to talk about?” I asked_

_“don’t give in to him Solona, he is sniveling for attention,” she added._

_“Morrigan, leave him be, he just lost all the people he cares about, let him grieve,” I said_

_“His sniveling and whining isn’t going to solve your problems, what you need to do is walk right up to the man who wronged you... this Loghain and kill him, make it bloody and public,” she said._

_“It’s not that easy, Morrigan, he’d be surrounded by guards, we’d be dead before we even got close to him,” Alistair spat at her._

_“What will you do then? she asked, “Scare the bad guys away with your crying?” she spat back_

_“ENOUGH!” I screamed_

_“Fine, fearless leader, what do you think we should do?” Morrigan asked turning her spit on me._

_“I’m not sure, we can’t approach Loghain or fight a horde of darkspawn with just the three of us, we need allies,” I said._

_“The Arl of Redcliff!” Alistair jumped in excitedly, “Arl Eamon is a well respected noble, if we can get him on our side, we might have an edge against Loghain._

_“That’s an idea,” I replied._

_“We also have the treaties, elves, dwarves and the Circle of Magi, Flemeth suggested we recruit them all,” I added._

_“Ah yes, my Mother, we can definitely trust her,” Morrigan said rolling her eyes._

_“Where should be go first then?’ Alistair asked looking at me._

_“Alistair, you are the senior Warden, are you not?” Morrigan interrupted_

_“Yes?” he replied, voice skeptic, “what of it?”_

_“Why do you so easily pass the leadership to your underling, should you not be the one leading the charge against these darkspawn and this Loghain?” Morrigan raised one eyebrow as Alistair squirmed under her question._

_“Well, I don’t know what to do!” he squeaked out through gritted teeth._

_Looking back and forth at my companions, I knew I would be the one taking the lead. Neither of them were prepared, nor experienced enough to do it._

_“I know what we need to do,” I said, descending the stairs and crossing the small field filled with refugees._

 

My gaze passed from Alistair to Leliana, “Lei, will you go find Solona and bring her here, we will have the discussion with her together. She may even have some ideas, that will help us.”

The room around me took a gasp, tension raising from already high to thick enough to cut with a knife.  Leliana looked like she wanted to protest but instead nodded and left the room. Cullen’s gaze was on me, eyes pleading, _please don’t make me acknowledge you both at the same time,_ they said. He looked like a caged bird.

Alistair was still looking at his feet, I’m not sure where his head was at.

Josie was doing the same as me, taking in the room, her quill tapping on her notebook the only hint of her anxiety. Sybil was staring at the war table, but her eyes were fiery with anger. She was upset with me.

I let the room fester, pretending to be distracted by one of the letters piled next to me on the table. Ten excruciating minutes passed before we head the door creak open.

Solona stepped in first, her hair was down today, it was long but not as long as mine. She wore an obsidian and silver robe, it had slits on each side, allowing for easy movement during a fight. A jeweled staff was strapped across her back, it’s crystal top catching the light and sending tiny rainbows dancing across the room.

Leliana, followed, face still a little unsure. “Solona, this is Arya, you two have not formally been introduced.”

“Pleased to meet you,” I said

“You as well,” she replied

There was some awkwardness, I won’t deny that, but I moved to action before it could stew.

“Leliana says you have offered to aid the Inquisition,” I said motioning to the war table at my back and stepping aside so she was free to step up to its edge. “We are currently talking strategy and I thought your wisdom would be helpful.”

She stepped forward, placing her hands on the smoothness of the table, gazing down at the plans thus far.

“Cullen, will you please fill Solona in on where our forces are. Josie, please share our political stance. Alistair and Sybil, what do we know of the Warden’s? Perhaps she knows something we do not.”

It took awhile for everyone to share their status. Solona didn’t say much but you could tell she was absorbing everything.

“For starters,” she began, “I have been in the deep roads for a long time and thus out of touch with the Wardens. Down there, surrounded by them, the music…. It was a constant thing, I didn’t realize The Calling was even happening, or couldn’t tell it from what I was already hearing.”

“It would be hard to know one from the other,” Alistair nodded, confirming her words. Their haunted eyes met, a look passing between them that I would never understand, a sadness, a kinship, a shared destiny.

Breaking the look, Solona glanced back to the war table, “Sigrun and Oghren came after me, they were the ones who told me about a false Calling and that you all had teamed up to save the world. Outside of meeting up with Anders at Soldiers Peak, I haven’t met or communicated with any other Wardens.”

Looking up, she met my gaze “I would advise that we follow Cullen’s recommendation. Gather at Griffon’s Keep in the Western Approach and prepare to take Adamant. We already know what the Wardens are doing, their reason’s aside, we need to stop them,” she moved the Inquisitor’s piece, a carved green hand, to the Western Approach.

“What about Halamshirel?” Leliana asked

I picked up the elaborate invitation, we had a little less than 2 months before the ball. But We needed to figure out what was happening at Adamant. “I’ll will lead a group to Griffon Wing Keep to assess the situation. We will go to Halamshiral from there,” I said

“Cullen, Leliana and I will meet you at Halamshirel with all the necessary supplies. I will inform the Duke that you have accepted his invitation,” Josie said, her pen scratching as she crossed something out on her notepad.

“Who other than me, are you bring along to take the Keep?” Sybil asked

“How do you plan on managing the mingling as well as searching out an assassin at the ball?” Leliana added, “If you are missing from the party for long periods of time the people will notice, their attention to detail in unbelievable.”

I looked around the table, “I have a thought about that, but it will need to wait until we are in private,” I answered. 

“Sybil, can you and Alistair head out to the Western Approach before me and the larger group? You two know the Keep and where the Wardens have been congregating. If you two are a day or so ahead of us, you’d be able to inform us of any trouble along the way, traveling with civilians such a long distance makes me nervous.”

Sybil and Alistair both nodded, “we will take off in a few days, Alistair is still being hunted, so traveling at night will be best.”

“Hunted? By whom?” Solona asked

“Orlesian Warden Commander Clarel, who is under Corypheus’ influence,” he explained

“I’m sorry, If I would have been doing my job… none of this would have happened,” Solona said, eyes welling with tears.

“It’s not your fault,” I comforted her, “Corypheus is determined to breach the Black City, he would have figured out some other way.”

She nodded but it was only to be polite.

Silence fell around the war table. “That’s enough for now I think, lets reconvene tomorrow morning,” I said dismissing my advisers

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48613481856/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48613481396/in/dateposted-public/)   
[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48613635997/in/dateposted-public/)

 


	57. WTF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It getting intense now.

* * *

**Cullen______________________**

My signature was starting to look foreign as I made my way through message, after message, after message, signing until my hand went numb.

Outside the sun had set, I could hear laughter and music drifting on the air, most likely from Herald’s Rest.

I shook my arm, urging feeling to return, then put away the quill and ink set Josie had gifted me. Typically, I don’t join the festivities down at the tavern but tonight… an ale might be nice.

There was a knock on my door just as I reached for it. “what could they possibly want at this hour,” I sighed

Pulling the door ajar, I glanced out to see a cloaked figure, dark curls silhouetted against the darkening sky.

I’d been hoping for Arya to stop by since we’d returned, it’s about time.

“Arya, I’ve been hoping you’d stop by,” I said, placing my feather paladin behind us at the desk, an evening alone with her sounds much better than an ale at the tavern.

She didn’t say anything.

As I turned back toward the door, she dropped the cloak to the floor revealing one: bare skin and two: this was not Arya

“You have the Inquisitor as a late-night guest often, Commander?” Solona asked, voice sweet.

“I… uh…no… not often… but,” I stuttered

I couldn’t help my eyes from exploring her toned legs, stomach and arms. The kind of tone you only get from years of fighting. Her chestnut curls fell loose hanging just below her breasts, hiding everything except taunt pink nipples, peeking through.

“Your body says you are happy to see me, but your eyes look confused,” she purred, “let me help.”

With that she stepped forward, closing the distance between us. She took my hand, palm down and guided it across her stomach, around the subtle swell of her hip and down to cup her ass.

“Do you remember how I like it Cullen?” she whispered in my ear, pulling a groan from my lips.

She reached down, sliding her hand along the length of me, unlacing my breeches. Her hand was warm and soft as she gripped my shaft.

“Maybe I should remind you,” she said sauntering to the desk and pushing everything off it onto the floor. With a smooth hop she was perched on top, legs open, welcoming me.

“I like to be touched here,” she slid her fingers to her core, parting the folds and slipping one inside.

**Solona____________________________________**

He looked a mess standing there gaping at me, I loved watching him squirm. He was hesitant and I knew why, Tonight I wanted him to forget the child they deemed Inquisitor and remember the one he loved first, the one he ached for then and every night since.

“It’s been so long, my body has missed you Cullen, come here and remember,” I pleaded, flipping my hair back and slowly dragging one nail down my breast. A growl, animalistic and raw arouse from him and I knew that was it. My Cullen was not one for gentle, hesitant love making. That was one of my favorite things about him, outwardly he looked a model Templar, faithful and pure but in private he toyed with the line between pleasure and pain. That was the Cullen stepping towards me now. He tossed his loose cotton shirt to the side revealing his beautifully chiseled abs and shoulders, Maker he was beautiful. His blond curls had broken free of their sculpted look and rested against his forehead, I remembered the silky feeling of them as his tongue explored me, like it was yesterday.

He slid his breeches off, kicking them forcibly to the side. His legs and hips just as perfect as the rest of him, strong, and hard. Maker save me, he was huge. One more step and he had hands on my hips, momentarily his molten gold eyes met mine. It was like looking into the crater of a volcano, golden hues swirling together, entrancing enough to make a girl forget herself and the world. My brief chance to look into his eyes faded away as he pulled me toward him in one swift movement, spearing my cunt with his cock, ripping a scream from my throat and causing me to see stars. The pressure of him inside me was amazing and he didn’t let up, he thrust harder and faster than any man had ever fucked me before. Using the edge of the desk to brace myself, I shifted my hips just a tad, causing the length of him to rub along my clit. When my vision cleared, I saw the dancing light from my mana filling the once dimly lit space. Where I placed a hand on his skin, electricity flickered, even the candle flames were dancing in the power flowing form me. “Andraste save me Solona,” he whispered between moans of pleasure.

Hearing him in the throes of passion was enough to tip me, my cunt started convulsing around his shaft at the same time my mana jumped from my body to his, filling him up as he filled me with his seed.

He screamed something, then pain.

* * *

 

**Arya_________________________**

Alistair and I had spent every moment of the last three days together in the garden, and nights in my quarters. We had managed to gather a great many seeds on our recent trips to and from Crestwood and the Western Approach, Elfroot, Embrium, Prophets Laurel, even Dawn Lotus and Felendries. Skyhold had such fertile soil, I wanted to have self-sustaining supplies of our most used herbs. That’s what he and I did, we turned the reflective back garden area into a usable, working herb garden, I finally was able to check that off my list!

Mother Giselle was not entirely pleased with our idea at first, but by the third day she laughed as we threw dirt at each other. I’m sure we looked like two love-struck teenagers out there working, laughing, pushing each other into the dirt, we even had lunch together, picnic style in the gazebo.

As we sat on alternative sides of the garden bed we had just finished, I had an epiphany, looking at Alistair, shirtless, covered in dirt and sweat, donning torn up leather breeches, I love him, 100 percent, no questions I was crazy in love with this man. And if I love him, why not be his wife? King or not, it didn’t matter, all that mattered was that I had him at my side for as long as the Maker would allow before calling him away to complete his destiny.

“What is it?” he asked, catching me eyeing him, “Do I have something on my face?” he rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand and managed to smear even more dirt onto it.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked with his classic Alistair lopsided grin. Feeling entirely certain in my choice, I pounced, knocking him to the ground. “Yes Alistair, yes, yes, 100,000 times yes!” I said kissing him on his dirt covered lips.

He kissed me back, causing desire to start tickling low at my core. In a lithe move he flipped us over, so I was under him.

“What are you talking about?” he asked once he pulled free from the kiss. He was still right there, hovering his lips above mine, the smell of his breath as he spoke bringing a groan from my lips. Maker this man makes me crazy. “Yes I’ll be your wife, I’ll go wherever you go, whether that’s a small shack somewhere in Orlais, the deep roads, or the palace in Denerim, I want to be there by your side through it all,” I let the weight of my feelings hang on each word.

Alistair froze, hovering above me, then slowly a huge smile made its way across his face. “Did you just propose to me Arya?” he asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically. My face flushed as I remembered he hadn’t actually asked me to marry him, not directly at least.

My face was growing hotter and hotter and he was just smiling bigger and bigger, not budging the slightest to let me up. He brought a hand up to my face cupping my chin and sliding his thumb along my cheek bone, his hazel-brown eyes turned serious, “I wouldn’t want it any other way my love.”

This time when he kissed me it was slow and sensual, but still had me aching for his touch. “Let’s go somewhere more private?” I cooed in his ear. “As my lady wishes,” he said lifting me into his arms and carrying me off to his chambers.

* * *

 

The sun had just set when we emerged. The night sky was a navy color, hanging on to the last bit of sunlight. Alistair and I were walking hand-in-hand across the courtyard, heading to the Heralds Rest for some fun. I was sore from a few hours of intense love making but my heart was joyful and light. “What do you think Cullen’s up to?” Alistair asked pointing to the Commanders tower, where I could see light dancing through the many cracks and windows of it. “who knows,” I said shrugging, not paying much attention until it hit me, gazing at the tower again confirmed my thought, that wasn’t candlelight that was mana light, from a mage.

My stomach sank, “she doesn’t know, “I said turning worried eyes to Alistair. “What? Who doesn’t know what?” he asked

Before I could answer, I heard Cullen scream “NO!” My fade step was fast now, and I had stepped through the walls of his tower before he had finished the scream. I had a brief instant to see Solona, body limp hovering in the air, a line of blue mana streaming from her to Cullen’s outstretched hand before I was caught, searing pain, my blood boiling within my flesh then nothing.

**Alistair_____________**

In an instant Arya was gone, she didn’t finish explaining, where did she go? The I heard it, from Cullen’s tower, a blood curdling scream, Arya’s scream. I took off, yelled at some scouts “Get the Seeker, and Solas NOW!”

Bursting through Cullen’s door I froze, not sure what I was actually seeing. Solona and Arya were both hovering midair being held up by a blueish stream of light. The light was coming from Cullen’s outstretched hands. The spirit kid appeared out of nowhere, causing me to jump. His hands were covering his ears, a look of excruciating pain on his face, “He can’t stop, it hurts, he can’t make it stop,” he was repeating on a loop.

Not sure what to do I ran and tackled Cullen to the ground. He fought me, he was strong, his veins pulsed and glowed blue. He clocked me aside the head and my vision blurred. Commotion behind me and Cullen screamed in pain before passing out, trapping my body between the floor and the dead weight of him.

“Cole, go get Dorian and the warden healer Anders,” Cassandra delegated then her armor-clad boots approached. Cullen’s weight lifted, giving me the chance to slide from under him. Arya was lying prone on the ground; I ran to her side but was stopped by a green form hovering above her “what the fuck?” I asked to anyone listening. The form looked at me, it was a young woman with soft features and long light-colored hair. She or it smiled at me, “you’re the one?” she asked, “I like the mage better, but Arya always had a thing for your type.”

Footsteps came up quickly from behind and the figure’s smile grew in response. The Tevinter, Dorian knelt next to me.

“Lila,” he said to the figure

“I’m worried Dorian, she’s in there but lost, I can’t get her to talk to me. She’s running, looking for something, for someone specific… green light burns but feeds her what she needs.” The spirit lifted her head quickly looking past us toward the doors. “It’s getting closer now,” she said just as Solas appeared next to us. “It’s you,” the spirit lifted her arm reaching toward the elf, you’re the only one that can’t help her find it.”

Solas didn’t spare us a glance, he just pulled her into his arms and they both disappeared, the weird spirt girl along with them. “What in the Makers name was that?” I asked the Tevinter

“it’s a long story for a different night,” he replied

“Alistair, help me take Solona down to the infirmary?” Anders’ voice came from the other side of the room. “Shit Solona,” I thought running to her side. “Is she okay?” I asked

The mage nodded, “she needs healing and lyrium but will be fine thanks to the taint, it helps her be stronger than…” he motioned his head toward the spot Arya had been.

* * *

 

After helping Anders, I returned to Cullen’s office to find him still unconscious. Cassandra was checking his pulse and breathing, she looked troubled. “What is it?” I asked

“He’s overdosing on the lyrium he pulled from the girls, can you absorb some of it? she asked

“What do you mean?

“Well when you are… you know…. intimate with a mage, you can absorb mana from them, right? Can you just absorb some of what is in his system?”

“I don’t think so, it’s not like that… the mage has to push it into us, we don’t just absorb it. It’s intentionally done.”

“Do you think the Hero of Ferelden meant for this to happen?” she asked, “If he has to start all over again from the beginning. I honestly don’t know if he’ll be able to do it.”

 “Well, if we don’t get that lyrium out of him, he won’t have to, it’s killing him,” came Dorian’s voice from behind us.

Shrugging at the both of them, “I don’t know how to spontaneously pull it from him.”

“I can help, I’ll act as a funnel, pull it from him and put it into you?”

“That’d work I think,” Cassandra said

Dorian crouched between Cullen and me, placing one hand on each of us. I could see the blue light flowing through his body seconds before I felt its effect myself. I had only ever experienced it during sex, so my body reacted in that way. Dorian chuckled, “I must say that my fantasies of being between you and the Commander here, do tend to involve us all being awake.” The mages eyes grew distant for a moment. “Have you considered this with Arya?” he asked me

“Me and Cullen and Arya having sex?” I asked a little fuzzy with all the lyrium.

Cassandra scoffed, “In the name of the Maker and all that is holy Dorian, is this really a good time for that?”

The mage chuckled again, “it’s always a good time, my darling Seeker.”

“Nah, Cullen and I have too much history but you… that I might consider,” I said letting my eyes move slowly along his muscular arms.

“Tsk tsk Warden, don’t get me all worked up here, we might get smited by Cassandra’s holy wrath.

The Seeker let out a disgusted grunt, but her words were interrupted by Cullen shooting to his feet, “what happened? Where’s Solona?” he said then fell back to the floor, head in hands, tears streaming down his cheeks

 


	58. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has the other shoe finally fallen for Arya? Or is there worse yet to come?

* * *

**Solas___________________________**

The Crestwood glade was dark and damp from lack of sunlight. Yet it held its own beauty, due drops sat on the edges of plants, as if contemplating a jump. The sounds of birds and insects filled the space and sunlight dappled through the trees.

This was where I came when I needed solace and protection from the world. The Veil was thin here, making it easy to go from one state to the other. Arya was still in my arms, but I could feel her strength slowly building due to our proximity. For the present moment, I was thankful I had connected our life forces, this also showed me my power was growing, soon I’d be my full self once again.

Lila, the spirit, was an intriguing specimen. She wasn’t quite a spirit, but she also wasn’t living and had no body of her own. In all my years, the art of necromancy was one I truly knew very little about. She lived completely separate but within Arya’s body, almost like a parasite but not. Some would claim that taking a spirit into you like this is a form of possession, but there is no agreement, no I’ll give you this if you allow me to take up residence within your body. Lila doesn’t really give Arya anything, nor does she take. She just simply IS…. And in the present moment she IS very chatty. “You’re the one who has bound her, how did you do that? Arya is no spirit?” she had many questions.

“I did not bind Arya per se’ I connected her life force to my own through the mark. If the mark was gone, she would no longer be connected to me,” I explained

“Why would you not just connect the mark to yourself, why another?” she asked

“Well… the mark is one part of an artifact, it is like a key or an anchor, allowing the larger artifact, my foci to balance and work. I needed another because myself alone am not strong enough to harness the artifacts full power.”

Lila’s spirit head tilted to one side, a puzzled look in her sea green eyes. “Huh… I’d like to hear more sometime Fen’Harel but right now I have to go,” with that her form dissipated leaving Arya and a very confused me, alone. How had she known my name? Perhaps she is more spirit then I gave her credit for. I will need to learn more about necromancy.

My thoughts were interrupted when Arya let out a soft moan. I laid my hand on her freckled cheek and stepped across the Veil, our connection taking me immediately to her side. “What happened?” she asked raising bright blue eyes to me. “Is Cullen okay?” I couldn’t help but smile. He almost kills her, and she still worries about him. “I believe he will be fine, in time.” I answered, knowing full well that he may have to start back from the beginning. “Solona didn’t know that he had stopped using, she wouldn’t have intentionally hurt him… I should have told her.”  she mused.

“It’s not your secret to tell vhenan,” the term slipped from my mouth without hesitation, is that truly what I felt... for a human, mortal?

She didn’t know elvhen and so didn’t even notice what had transpired.

“I suppose that is true, but it is my responsibility to keep my people safe and if mentioning something would have….”

“Let us not focus on what could have,” I told her, grabbing her hands in mine and laying a gentle kiss against them, “let’s just focus on getting your strength up, so we can go back and deal with it… together.”

* * *

  **Solona_____________________________**

I heard Anders talking as my consciousness returned. He was arguing with someone, “it’s not like that, It’s Justice… he takes over and he likes her.”

“Who then should get the blame for your transgressions, you or Justice? You have said time and time again, you don’t know where Anders ends and Justice begins,” the female was on the brink of tears, “I just can’t take any more of this, I have been here for you, supported you when everyone else wanted you dead and now this. You know I love you Anders, but I do not love Justice and he or it, does not love me. If you and it, are truly one-in-the-same, I cannot do it anymore. It’s just too painful, watching you fight against your own nature and watching your nature build a wall between us.” 

“Sybil… I’m sorry, I wish I could figure out how to control it, but I just don’t, I’ve tried but I can’t get rid of it, we are too entwined.”

I opened my eyes, seeing Anders’ posture change from the man to the abomination.

“Hah, I told you, this one makes you weak Anders,” the ragged, voice came from Anders’ own lips, “But that one… she is strong, she embraces who you are, not who she wants you to be.”

Sybil’s eyes clouded over with hurt, disgust and then resolve. With a nod, she turned and walked from the room.

Anders or Justice turned blazing blue eyes at me, he didn’t pause but instead crashed his lips against mine. I can’t say I didn’t like when he got like this.

**Sybil___________________**

Relief, relief is what I felt… sure sadness but mostly relief. It had been since that day in Kirkwall, when he or Justice decided to blow up the Chantry. Since then, I have been harboring him, telling myself I was keeping him safe, safe from a harsh world that wouldn’t understand. As I watched the man I love slowly disappear, more and more every day, and in his guise that creature. Once it was something just, something good, but it had been morphed into something full of rage and vengeance. I tried to keep Anders at the forefront of consciousness, Anders would not be that, he would not be that creature.

Perhaps It was right, I did try to keep It doormat, keep Anders present in the moment, present with me but with each day it was more and more of a struggle. My life turned into an existence of waiting, living from one brief moment of Anders to the next, clinging to memories that came less and less with each day.

The look in his eyes when we’d tend the garden together, the smell of his breath first thing in the morning, his charming, teasing smile that would warm the room even on the coldest winter nights. Perhaps the creature was right, I was stopping Anders from being Justice and if Justice is the strength, then I guess I was keeping him weak.

Solona embraces him as he is, she doesn’t hold on to the fleeting moments of what once was. She sees full on what It has become, and she doesn’t flee, she doesn’t pretend or try to change the reality.

So deep in thought, I didn’t see Blackwall until I smashed into his firm chest. He was shorter than the other guys and I found myself looking directly into his dark eyes without having to look up.

“drink?” he asked, extending his arm out as if he was asking me to attend a ball.

He was a handsome man, dark hair and eyes, a dark past that he wanted to hide away, strong features and a broad, strong body that at first glance you’d assume was not fit, however, I felt his strength, “what do you look like under all that armor?” I thought to myself.

He stepped back, dropping his arm, “My lady… I…” he stuttered

“shite, did I say that out loud?”

He nodded his head

Piss well… huh… I decided to play along, turning coy eyes at him, “well, are you going to answer the question?”

He cleared his throat and gave me a flirtatious smirk, “why don’t you ask again, after that drink?” he said extending his arm back out, which I happily grabbed.

* * *

  **Arya_____________________**

Bright sunlight streamed in through my open bedroom doors. I laid for a while, watching the trees dance around in the breeze. Hearing an intake of breath beside me, I turned to find Alistair. He was doubled over, sleeping with his chest and head on my bed and his bottom half on a short wooden stool. He looked incredible uncomfortable but also adorable at the same time. Why was he there and not lying next to me? I thought reaching out to waken him. My hand froze right before it made contact, memories flooding back into my consciousness, Cullen!

I slid from the bed, tossed my silk robe over my naked body and catapulted down the steps. Bursting through the doors to the main hall, hundreds of astonished faces turned my way, judgment heavy in their eyes, but I didn’t care. I sprinted through Solas’ solarium and up the steps to Cullen’s office. I didn’t slow down or pause or knock, instead I barged through the door and was met by Knight Captain Rylan and a decent number of soldiers.

“Inquisitor?” Rylan questioned, eyeing my informal dress. I met his blue eyes, face stubborn. “Leave us,” he commanded to the soldiers.

Once we were alone, he ran to my side, grabbing my hands in his much larger ones. “You have no idea how pleased I am to see you alive and well.”

“Rylan, what happened? Why are you here and not at the Keep? My mind is fuzzy, where is Cullen and why do I feel like something horrible has happened to him?”

“Have you not spoken to Seeker Pentaghast? Or the Elf?” he asked

“No, I just woke up and came straight here.”

“Ah right, well the Commander is gone,” he paused

“GONE! What do you mean gone?” I interrupted

“He needed some time and space…”

“Will he be back?” I asked, a knot growing in the pit of my stomach, “Where has he gone? Is he okay?” I spewed the questions like a rift does demons.

Rylan shook his head, a small smile crossing his face. He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

“You care a great deal for him,” he said, it was both a statement and a question.

“He is the Commander of my army and my friend, of course I do,” I replied

Rylan gave a slight nod, “well for now, I am the Commander of your army and perhaps also a friend…. although not the same type as Cullen,” he said with a wink.

“Thank you, Knight Captain, I appreciate you stepping up to help, I know Cullen trusts you deeply,” I commented, “how long will you be holding this position?”

“I’m afraid I will need to direct you to Seeker Pentaghast, she knows the details. I have been placed on temporary assignment for an undetermined amount of time. Now please excuse me, Inquisitor.” He said, dismissing me to the battlements.

I followed them around, descending into the tower Cassandra had claimed as her space. She was hovered over a map of Thedas, grumbling something in Nevarran that I couldn’t make out.

“Cassandra?” I spoke her name and she about jumped out of her skin.

“Andraste save us, I was afraid you’d never awaken,” she said pulling me into an embrace. 

“Where is Cullen?” I asked

Her face fell and she slumped back into her chair, motioning for me to sit across from her.

“Shortly after he recovered, he took a small group of soldiers with him to the Emerald Graves. Leliana’s people had proof that the Red Templars were there under orders from Corypheus, he went to investigate and hopefully gain some insight into their plan and their leader Samson,” she began.

“That’s not the whole story?” I asked

“It has been a week since we received word from him. The scouts have been unable to locate him but they did find the soldiers he took with… according to them, Cullen disappeared during the night a few days after they arrived, there is no trace of him, he’s gone,” she raised discouraged eyes at me.

“What do you think happened?” I asked her.

“Well he took a huge hit against his recovery when he took so much mana from you and Solona. Dorian and Alistair saved his life by absorbing a portion of what he took. He most likely has relapsed and is either strung out somewhere, or he is fighting against the withdrawals and didn’t want anyone to see him struggle. Either way, I’m sure his guilt is eating him alive; it will do him in before either of the others.”

“Guilt?” I asked, although I could guess the answer.

“He almost killed both you and Solona. She recovered much more quickly than you, something about the taint. Solas took you and disappeared into the fade for a couple weeks. Cullen left before you returned. He may think you dead or trapped in the fade somehow… but without knowing where he went, we have no way of informing him you are okay.”

“I will go find him,” I said, “send word that we will be leaving for the Emerald Graves in the morning.”

She turned haunted eyes to me, “you can’t go after him, you must go to the Winter Palace, our timeline was already tight, the ball is only a week away and it will take almost that long to get there.”

“What!? So, we are just going to leave him? He will kill himself with that guilt Cassandra, you know that!” I yelled, jumping to my feet.

She stood as well, “myself and Alistair are going to go find him. We are leaving tonight. Leliana and Josephine will get you safely to the ball.”

A wave of relief settled over me, although it was short lived, Cullen needed me… he must know he is forgiven. “Take Solona,” I said, the instruction tasted horrible on my lips. “Cullen will need to know he is forgiven; she can do that, if I cannot.”

“Solona and the Wardens have already left to secure the Western Approach. The scouts reported darkspawn in the area, we felt they would be the best ones to send,” she explained

“All the Wardens? Except Alistair?” I asked

“Blackwall, Bull and Sybil went with them, I wanted to be sure we had our people there too, I still don’t fully trust her,” she explained

“You sent Sybil with Solona and Anders? Why would you put her through that?” I felt rage in the pit of my belly.

“She asked to go with, something about ‘no reason to stay here and twiddle her thumbs,’ and she wanted to be with Blackwall,” she said, a slight blush at the last part.

“Blackwall?” I asked confused

“I will leave that for your cousin to explain,” she shook her head, dismissing the topic.

Taking the hint, I sighed, “Alright, I will take Dorian, Viv, Sera and Solas with me to the ball. Let’s convene in the war room, before you leave this evening,” I said stepping toward the door. 

“Arya,” she said stopping me in my tracks, “I’m glad you are okay, we were all frightened you’d be gone forever.”

“As Varric would say, ‘this story hasn’t even gotten to the good part yet,’ I can’t die.” I joked and she smiled, “glad you still have that sense of humor.”

 


	59. Unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saying goodbye is never easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff and smut and awkward Cassandra... enjoy!  
> tsfb394119, this one is for you :)

* * *

My feet carried me to my quarters, my mind somewhere else. I was worried for Cullen, I was unsure about Solona, I really didn’t want to go to this ball. What was up with the Wardens and Corypheus. I felt like I was standing on the brink of an abyss that was ever reaching for me, every time I thought I was away from the edge it’d drag me right back.

Arms grabbed me pulling me into a tight embrace, “Thank the Maker Arya,” Alistair said against my hair. Around me was the smell of sandalwood and wood smoke, Alistair’s smell. I breathed him in, melting into the safety and comfort his strong arms carried within them. Despite the narrative going through my head, my body calmed at his touch. With him, things would work out. I pulled back, meeting his hazel-brown eyes.

“I love you,” he said never moving his eyes from mine.

“I love you too,” I replied.

The words were simple but held so much unspoken within them. A rumble sounded and for a moment I thought it was thunder until Alistair’s face broke into a grin, “Can we take this to the Tavern, I’m starving?”

“Of course, I’m hungry too,” I said looping my arm through his.

* * *

 Herald’s Rest was quiet when we entered, I was surprised until I remembered that Sera, Bull, Blackwall and the Warden Oghren we all gone.

“Inquisitor?” came the familiar question/greeting from Cabot

“What’s the current mood” I asked

“Hope in the face of reality,” he replied. Alistair raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Any rumors?” I asked

“Seven people want your minstrel dead. They’d settle for smashing her lute, but they’re afraid she’d sing about it,” he replied voice devoid of emotion as usual.

Alistair and I both glanced over at Maryden, then back at Cabot who just shrugged, and handed us both a mug of something thick and rank.

“And food please, can we also get food?” Alistair asked

“Hmph,” Cabot grunted then disappeared to the kitchen.

“Well this place is a dull…. And an awful lack of good eye candy,” Dorian said shaking his head in disappointment and sending a small glance at the chair Bull usually sat in. “How about we liven it up a bit?” he asked, “You remember that Antivan Tango I taught you?”

I did remember it, a dance that was both tactful and sexy at the same time. “Do you mind if I borrow your partner” he lent into Alistair, lowing his voice seductively, even now it still had my insides all a flutter.

“You are welcome to join us, of course,” he said winking. With a flourish that only Dorian can pull off, he spun and dropped into a low bow, extending his hand to mine, asking me to dance.

Placing my hand in his he pulled me forward, tight against his chest, holding my eyes with his. My lips parted and breathing caught, which brought a smile to his handsome face. “I must say, I do enjoy the way you still react to me,” his voice caressed me, ran along my skin, he was infusing it with magic. “I hear from our lovely Spymaster that you have some bard skills?” he asked pulling the lute from Maryden’s hands and placing it in mine. “How about getting these sad, sad people a little more excited?”

Glancing around, the Tavern had filled up, it wasn’t loud and cheerful like normal, but it was at least full. Stringing the loot, I pushed my power into the music, sending it through the crowd caressing them like a lover’s embrace. One by one, they all stopped what they were doing and turned to me, entranced. I strummed louder sending the tune out into the courtyard, enticing others to join us. Once the air was heavy with desire. I sent the loot flying back to Maryden, the strings holding my song. “Don’t play, just hold it,” I told her, and she nodded.

Dorian chose that moment to pull me into the first part of the dance. It started off slowly, movement languid, every caress intentional. I kept the power going, lust building along with our dance. As the tempo raised the movements became faster, harder, Dorian and I moved in time with each other, our breathing heavy, sweat beading up on our foreheads. Then silence… a long stretch of stillness, we held our position, me in his arms, my ass cradled against his groin, our lips hovering, almost touching, anticipating. Then Alistair stepped forward, putting a hand under my chin he turned my head to face him, claiming my lips forcefully. Dorian still held my hips and used that to turn me away... the dance became a challenge, a game of possession. Tossed to the side, I watched the two of them move together, step forward, step back a duel without weapons. The people followed every move, their attention consumed by the power Dorian and Alistair brought forth. Their movements froze as the music silenced once again. This was my cue to intercede. I ran in, placing myself in the middle of the two men, as if I was going to stop them but that’s not what happened. They each grabbed one of my arms, stepping close, their eyes met, and lips followed. The music stopped, lute clattering to the floor, breaking the spell but Dorian and Alistair didn’t stop.

Clapping and yelling came over the crowd as they applauded our performance. The boys broke their embrace, nodded at the patrons and whisked me out of there. “Where are we going?” I asked, as they pulled me across the courtyard. They exchanged a knowing glance at one another, causing my core to tighten in response, this was going to be a good night.

* * *

 I thought I heard footsteps, but my body was snuggled tightly between Dorian and Alistair, not a bad place to be.

“Maker save us,” came Cassandra’s voice

I peeked my head over Alistair’s back to see a very mad and very red Cassandra.

“Come on, pretend it’s one of your smutty novels,” Dorian said voice sleepy

“The Seeker reads smut?” Alistair laughed, the movement shaking the bed

“For Andraste’s sake, get up, we need to leave now,” Cassandra instructed

Alistair followed her instruction, sliding from my arms and standing naked in front of her. Her eyes fell southward, before she cursed and turned her back to him. Dorian’s chuckle came from behind me. “I’ll meet you downstairs in 30 minutes, everyone is ready except you,” she demanded, heavy footfalls leaving the room.

“Well… that wasn’t awkward at all,” Alistair commented, pulling on his trousers.

“Meh its good for her,” Dorian commented

“When will I see you again?” I asked, my stomach feeling heavy with insecurity 

He pulled me against his chest, “I will come back, I told you I will always come for you Arya.”

“Not that anyone asked but if you had, I think I’d approve this,” Dorian said pointing to Alistair and I, “especially now that I’ve had a taste myself,” he licked his lips, a grumble escaping them.

“You keep her safe Dorian,” Alistair stated, giving me a chaste kiss, “I have to go,” tears welled in his eyes

“I will take good care of her,” he said with a wink, “Seems like I got stuck with that job as soon as her parents dropped her on my doorstep.”

“Dorian!” I said throwing a pillow at him, which he caught and threw right back.

“I love you Arya,” Alistair said, “oh I have something for you.” he rustled around in his pockets, pulling out a crumpled piece of parchment. “Give this to Lei, she can decide if you get it now or have to wait,” he said placing it in my hand, “don’t cheat.”

With another nod and a kiss to my forehead he was gone, I stared at the spot he once stood for a while, until Dorian threw another pillow at the back of my head, “Come on, let’s get drunk.”

 


	60. You Change Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas takes Arya on a trip, and shares.. perhaps more than he expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda a short chapter but sometimes there are these small moments I want to capture

* * *

Leliana and Josie came running out to meet us as I crossed the draw bridge to Skyhold, Dorian and I had made a short trip to the Hinterlands for more Elfroot. “Where have you been, we must make preparations,” they said in unison. They ushered me into Josie’s office, which had been transformed into a bazaar. Racks and racks of dresses, jewels, shoes, hair bobbles, everything that one would need to prepare for a ball. Vivienne held the room in her controlling gaze, “Are you ready my dear?” she asked, before clapping her hands and as if by magic, servants appeared, bringing food, drink, helping me into this dress and that dress. Trying this hairstyle, that hairstyle, those shoes. It was a whirlwind of delightful chaos and in the end, had me buzzed, beautiful and in Solas’ solarium.

“Solas,” I called when I didn’t see him in his usually spot. I felt the air move and turned just has he landed behind me. “I have something to show you,” he said extending his hand.

I took it and with a whoosh we were standing in Haven again.

“Why here?” I asked

“Haven is familiar, it will always be important to you,” he replied, walking toward the Chantry and down into the dungeon.

“I sat beside you while you slept, studying the Anchor.”

“At least somebody was watching over me, thank you,” I said

“You were a mystery, you still are. I ran every test I could imagine, searched the Fade, yet found nothing. Cassandra suspected duplicity, she threatened to have me executed as an apostate, if I didn’t produce results.”

“Cassandra is like that with everyone,” I shrugged, and he laughed, it bounced off the dungeon walls making the space seem almost cheerful.

“Yes, yes she is,” he replied

He headed back outside, “You were never going to wake up, how could you, a mortal sent physically through the fade.”

Then he turned to me, his gaze was vulnerable, something I had only seen once before, briefly at the Veil Fire torch. “I was frustrated, frightened, any spirits I may have sought for help were gone, driven away by the Breach. Although I wanted to help, I had no faith in Cassandra nor she in me, I was ready to flee.”

“The Breach threatened the whole world, where did you plan to go?” I asked

“Some place far away, where I could research a way to repair the Breach before its effects caught up to me…"

I raised my eyebrows quizzically at his answer, "I never said it was a good plan,” he chuckled at himself. 

He turned from me then, reaching up to the Breach hovering in the sky above, “I told myself, one more attempt to seal the rifts… I tried and failed; no ordinary magic would affect them. I watched the rifts expand and grow, resigned myself to my fate… and then...”

The green light from the Breach exploded, mimicking when I had closed it. Solas stepped up to me, holding my marked hand in his. “It seems you hold the key to our salvation, you had sealed it with a gesture,” he said, eyes turning intimate, he placed a hand on my cheek, “and right then, I felt the whole world change.”

His eyes held so many feelings, so much vulnerability, in that moment, all the small hints, all the little touches, glances, conversations, made sense. I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me by placing his thumb against my lips.

“You change everything,” is all he said before I awoke in my bed to the sounds of birds singing the song of morning.

I touched my lips, where I could still feel him lingering, “what was that?” I thought.

  
  


* * *

 

After throwing on some comfy traveling clothes I headed to the solarium. He sat at his desk, holding a cup of tea, brows scrunched in disgust.

“Something wrong with your tea?” I asked

“It is tea, I despise the stuff,” he replied, “Sleep well?” his eyes turned curious.

“Solas, the things you said… I,” my words came out shaky

“Ah Inquisitor, worry not, I am well aware of my place in your life at the moment. But I am afraid I must ask for a favor?”

“Yes, anything?” I told him

“In my dreams, a friend of mine called out for help, I was able to get a sense for the location, can we stop on our way to the Winter Palace?”

“Of course, what has happened to your friend?” I asked

“I do not have the answer, my friend is a spirit, I get a sense of pain and fear, but spirits do not communicate as you and I do,” he replied

“Well, we are prepared to leave whenever you are ready, meet me in the courtyard,” I told him


	61. With a Little Help from My Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey to Halamshirel

* * *

“We are not far from where my friend was summoned,” Solas stated, gesturing ahead of us across the plains.

Sliding my mount aside Sera’s, I leaned into her, “we will be back, Solas needs help with something magic related, just keep the group headed to the marked camping spot, we will meet you all there soon,” I told her, pointing to the X marking the planned campsite. “If they give you any trouble sick Viv on them,” I nudged her, causing her to laugh a little

I could see in her eyes that she didn’t want to be left behind and with Viv, nonetheless, but she didn’t protest… much. “I’ll be right back,” I told her with a comforting smile.

Dorian, Solas and I guided our horses to the back of the group, then quietly off the road into the surrounding plains.

We crested a small ledge of rocks; bodies littered the area. “Mages,” Solas said after examining one of the corpses.

“Looks like bandits,” Dorian added, pulling an arrow from one and examining the tip, “poison,” he added tossing the arrow to the side. We followed the trail of corpses, they changed from death by arrow, to burns to smoldering piles of ash.

“No, No, No,” Solas’ voice took on an edge of panic, his speed increasing.

Coming around a bend, we came upon a giant pride demon.

“My Friend!” Solas’ haunted voice called forth

“The mages, turned your friend into a demon?” I half stated, half asked

“A spirit becomes a demon when denied its purpose,” he explained

“So, they summoned it for something so opposed to its nature, that it was corrupted… could it be fighting?” I added, looking around at the carnage.

Cautiously, a tall man in a mages robe approached us, “Mages!? You’re not with the bandits?” he asked, “Do you have any lyrium potions, most of us are exhausted, we’ve been fighting that demon.”

“You summoned that demon! Except it was a spirit of wisdom at the time, you made it kill! Twisted it against its purpose!” Solas yelled

"I…I... understand how it might be confusing to someone who has not studied demons, but after you help us I can…..” I cut his words short with an eruption of laughter….

The tall mage, looked at me confused by my outburst

“We are not here to help YOU!” Solas spat at the mage

“Word of advice, I’d hold off sharing your explanation of how demon’s work with my friend here,” I managed to get out, through my lack of oxygen

The tall mage squared his shoulders, trying to seem even larger, “Listen to me, I was one of the four most experts in the Kirkwall Circle…”

“SHUT UP!” Solas said, cutting the taller man’s words off once again,

“You summoned it to protect you from the bandits.”

The man hung his head, “I… yes.”

“You bound it to obedience then commanded it to kill, that is when it turned,” Solas spat back at the man, “the summoning circle, we break it, we break the binding. No orders to kill, no conflict with its nature, no demon.”

“What? That binding is the only thing keeping the demon from killing us all. Whatever it was before, it is a monster now,” the mage said

Solas’ faced showed so much disgust and desperation, “Inquisitor ... please?” he asked turning his blue eyes to me

“We will do whatever we can to save your friend Solas,” I confirmed

“Thank you,” he said with a slight nod.

With that, Solas, Dorian and I focused on breaking the columns that connected the parts of the summoning circle. As soon as the granite was broken the pride demon changed into a women’s form. I recognized her dark hair, she was there in the library from Solas’ dream.  

Solas sank to the ground in front of her, he began speaking in elvhen, I couldn’t understand it but from the look on his face it seemed like a goodbye.

He raised his hands to her face, like he has done to me numerous times in the past, whispered a phrase and her form dissipated into the air around us... she was gone.

“I’m sorry Solas,” I said from behind him

“Don’t be, we gave it a moment of peace before the end, that’s more than it might have had” his voice was distant, but his eyes held appreciation, when they fell on me. “Now all that’s left… is them,” he turned toward the few remaining mages, cowering in the grass.

“Thank you, we would not have risked the summoning, but the roads are too dangerous to travel unprotected,” he said

“YOU tortured and killed my friend,” Solas yelled at the three mages

“We’re sorry, we didn’t know... it was just a spirit,” the tall mage pleaded understanding that would not come, “the book said it would help us.”

Solas raised his hands, a fireball at the ready, “you going to stop him?” Dorian questioned. No words needed to pass between us, just a shrug. With a poof, the three mages were ash floating on the breeze, much like their comrades.

“Damn them all,” Solas said, “I need some time alone.” Then he disappeared.

 

* * *

 It was a few days into our journey but seemed like an eternity. The entourage we brought with us resembled a small parade, carriages, fancy dressed horses, seamstresses, soldiers. Josie and Leliana would not accept a small troupe to make the journey to the Winter Palace but a small group traveled much faster.

The plan was to meet Duke Gaspard and his Chevaliers outside of the palace proper. I was attending as his date, after all.

My nerves stood on edge, Solas still hadn’t come back, Alistair gone, Cullen gone, Cassandra, Sybil, Solona, all my well laid plans have gone awry. Now stopping the assassination of the Empress sat on my shoulders. I was floundering in expectations, fear, and felt isolated with so many of my close friends gone, fighting demons of their own.

“What is troubling you Inquisitor?” Leliana’s voice, next to me in the darkness. I had set up camp but taken off once people seemed to be settling in for the night. The moons were just slivers in the sky above me, stars sparkled in the distance, dancing like fireflies above the silhouettes of giant trees, the Emerald Graves. Was Cullen out there somewhere, under those trees?

Leliana sat next to me, I hadn’t answered her, but she didn’t need me to. Quickly, she pulled me against her. She was wearing a soft leather tunic, not her normal mail armor and I let myself relax into her warm arms. I cried then, about Cullen, Alistair, Solas, Corypheus, being the Inquisitor, the world, everything.

Once the racking sobs died down, she pulled away, “light, Arya, I want to see you,” she said. I conjured a small ball of light, it hovered just above the ground, casting a soft glow across us. She wiped my cheeks with the back of her hand, laid a gentle kiss on my forehead, each cheek and finally my lips. She pulled back, as if to judge my reaction.

She must have been pleased with what she saw because her full red lips turned into a sweet smile, briefly, before she placed them back on mine. Her kiss was soft, but it wasn’t lacking in heat. She tasted sweet like berry wine, and her tongue pulled mine into a seductive dance. There was a song in my head, it urged me to release my pain and fear and give myself to the pleasure she offered. My breathing started to increase, heartrate raising, intensity of the kiss growing. I pulled my daggers free, tossed one to the side and sliced the front of her leather tunic with the second. The low light caused her skin to glow like moonlight, her nipples tight and ruby red, like her lips and hair. I pulled one into my mouth, rolling in with the tip of my tongue before biting down just enough. A gasp came from her mouth and she pushed my head tighter to her chest, encouraging me to continue. I kissed and nipped on each breast and down her stomach to the line of her breeches, which she slid down her long, slender legs for me. I took my attention farther south, across her hips, to her knees and up the insides of her thighs. Moans came from her, growing in desperation the closer I got to her core. But I wasn’t ready to go there yet. I raised myself back up to her lips and claimed them in a hungry kiss. She bit down on my bottom lip, “my turn,” she said, voice mischievous.

In a quick movement she had our positions switched. She was the one on top now, dagger drawn slicing my clothes from my body, tunic and breeches gone in one slice. She lowered herself to my core. Sliding a finger along my slit, “you’re so wet already,” she cooed before sliding one inside of me, then another and another. She used her fingers to find that bundle of nerves, my breathing caught when she hit it, “found it,” she said playfully, before lowering her mouth to my clit. She started sucking, stopping here and there to click her tongue against it. Inside she massaged until my cunt was convulsing around her delicate fingers. “That’s a good girl,” she said pulling me into another kiss and flipping us back around. I was straddling her now, the view was lovely, her cheeks flushed, lips swollen from kissing and sucking. I put my hand between us, rubbing her clit gently between my fingers. Her breathing quickened, chest rising and falling in the soft light. With my free hand I captured a nipple, mimicking the same movement there I was doing down below. “I’m close Arya, I want to feel those beautiful lips against me, finish me with your mouth,” she commanded, and it brought a groan from my chest. Following her instructions, I lowered my lips to her, she was drenched with desire, it dripped from her and had the insides of her thighs slick. “Mmmm, tasty,” I moaned, as I lapped her sweetness. Sliding my finders inside, I rubbed against her sensitive spot. Using my tongue, I rolled her clit until she screamed.

**Leliana______________**

Arya laid on her back next to me, skin moist from perspiration, reflected the flickering light. She had her arms stretched above her head, sliding through her knotted curls. Propped on one elbow, I danced my fingers along her arm, leg and side, her skin reacted to my touch, goosebumps erupting on otherwise smooth skin. She giggled when my fingers grazed her side. She as lovely, not just physically but her essence, in-and-of-itself, inspiring, beautiful, compassionate, intelligent. Lying next to her like this, watching her little jumps, her smile and mannerisms, I realized something. During the blight, I thought I loved Solona, my unrequited affection mostly overseen, except by Wynn, who saw everything. But my feelings for her, although strong, couldn’t be compared to what I felt right now lying next to Arya.

For a moment, I allowed myself the fantasy, Arya and I taking off, once this Inquisition business was over with. Traveling the world, taking on bard roles for money, sharing experiences, love, life and laughter with each other. It was a lovely fantasy. But I know that she won’t choose me in the end, much like Solas, I am aware of my position in her life.

I also know that by trying to influence her, I will only push her away. She is one who likes to make her own choices, she values her independence. Which leaves me with the ability to live my life, focus on my role as the Inquisition Spymaster and do the things that fulfill me. If she chooses to be part of that journey, I will open for her, if she chooses to follow a different path, Maker knows, she has many options. My thoughts drifted to the crumpled-up parchment from Alistair.

_My Lord Therin,_

_Your request to be wed to Arya Trevelyan has been approved by the people of Ferelden We, your loyal servants, await you and your new bride’s ascent to the throne._

_All preparations have been made, Lord Eamon and his family will hold the castle in your absence._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Lords and Ladies of the Landsmeet_

Little Ali had done it, he accepted the throne and asked to rule Ferelden with Arya as his Queen. And the people approved it! Ten years ago, they would have laughed in his face, spat and shamed them for even suggesting a Mage as Queen. Oh, how things have changed and all thanks to this lovely creature at my side.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked me, recognizing the smile on my face. “Just enjoying the peace of this moment, for I know they are fleeting,” I told her. It was not time yet to share the news about Alistair. He trusted me to do it at the right time, I will not betray that trust.


	62. Halamshirel Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya has orders to "shock the court," and she plans to do just that.

* * *

“It is a great pleasure to finally meet you Inquisitor Trevelyan,” a masked man, whom I could only assume was Duke Gaspard, said approaching me., “News from across Thedas has spoken of your heroics and unmatched beauty, I must say I am not disappointed on either account. Tell me Inquisitor, what do you believe the Inquisition could accomplish with the full support of the rightful Emperor of Orlais?”

I cocked my head slightly to the side, raising my eye to the sky, as if thinking, “and which one was the rightful Emperor of Orlais again, I keep getting them confused,” I said, my voice taking on a playful tone.

“The handsome, charming one of course My Lady,” he replied with a bow and smirk that matched my playful tone. “I am not a man who forgets his… friends Inquisitor,” he said wetting his lips suggestively, “You help me, I’ll help you.”

With a flourish of finery, he turned extending his arm for me to take, “My Lady, are you prepared to shock the court by walking into the Grand Ball with a hateful usurper? They will be telling stories of this into the next age.”

“I imagine that crowd hasn’t seen anything better than us, in their entire, miserable lives.” I replied with an honest giggle, I rather liked this Duke Gaspard.

“You’re a woman after my own heart,” he said, laying a gentle kiss on my hand before tucking it between his arm and the warmth of his solid chest.

We walked together through the gates, vestibule and into the ballroom arm-in-arm, gasps and snickers surrounded us but we ignored them, relished in them really… that was the point after all, to ‘shock the court.’

Once in the ballroom, the announcer had us approach the balcony Empress Celene stood upon, one at a time, allowing for individualized introductions. Celene was younger than I expected, with long blond hair tied up into elaborate braids. She donned a mask of some sparkly black stone, perhaps obsidian, lined with diamonds and a deep blue dress.

“Do you see their faces, My Lady… priceless,” Duke Gaspard whispered in my ear, before moving gracefully into a deep bow toward the Empress.

“Cousin, my dear sister,” he nodded

“Duke, we are always honored when you grace us with your presence,” Celene returned the bow, though much less dramatic than the one he had given originally.

“Don’t waste my time with pleasantries Celene, we have business to attend to,” his voice held command, like the general he was.

“The negotiations will commence, after we have seen to our other guests, until then, enjoy the festivities,” she chimed in sweetly

He gave another bow and exited the spotlight, sending a small nod in my direction, as if saying, “come find me later.”

“Lady Inquisitor, we are honored to have you join us at the Winter Palace. Allow us to introduce our cousin, Florriane, the Grand Duchess of Lydes, without which, this gathering would never have been possible.” Celene said, gesturing to a taller woman standing at her side.

“What an unexpected pleasure, I was not aware the Inquisition would be part of our festivities,” the Grand Duchess stated, something about the way she said ‘inquisition’ was off, “I will speak with you again later, Inquisitor,” she added, before excusing herself from the stage.

“Your arrival at court is like a cool wind on a summers day,” Celene stated, hands clasped in front of her.

“Let’s hope the breeze does not herald an oncoming storm,” I replied, using my best court voice, thankfully, Tevinter teaches politicking quite well.

“Even the wisest may mistake fair winds for foul, we are at the mercy of the skies, Inquisitor. Tell me, what do you think of Halamshirel?” she added

“I have no words to suffice, Halamshirel has many beauties, and I couldn’t do them justice,” I complimented

“Your modesty does you credit and speaks well for the Inquisition. Feel free to enjoy the pleasures of the ballroom Inquisitor. We look forward to watching you dance,” she nodded, releasing me from the spotlight, as if bowing at the end of a dance. This interaction, as well as every other one I will have tonight, is yet another step in an elaborate dance, another move in The Game.

* * *

I was flushed and my pulse was jumping in my throat after that introduction, I made my way to the vestibule, apparently the gardens are lovely, making small chit-chat as I went.

Leliana caught be at the door to the vestibule “Good, I was hoping I’d catch you alone,” she said, voice quiet

For an instant I thought she wanted a repeat of our encounter a few nights ago but the look in her pale eyes told me otherwise. They twinkled with excitement and intrigue; she was deep in The Game and it looked lovely on her.

“What did the Duke say?” she asked

“He pointed the finger at Ambassador Briala,” I reported

“The Ambassador is up to something, but she can’t be our focus. The best place to strike at Celene is from her side,” she lent in, as if giving me a kiss on the cheek, and grabbing my hand suggestively, led me to a small bench in the corner, surrounded by party goers but somehow seeming private.

“Empress Celene is fascinated by mysticism, foreseeing the future, speaking with the dead, that sort of rubbish. She has an ‘occult adviser,’ an apostate who charmed the Empress and key members of the court, as if by magic. I’ve had dealings with her in the past. She is ruthless and capable of anything,” her tone and face all held a sense of foreboding, and underneath, spite, Leliana did not like this occult adviser for personal reasons.

“How can Celene open the Imperial court to an apostate?” I asked, seeking some facts, although who am I to say it’s not possible, look at me.

“The Imperial Court has always had an official position for a mage. Before now, it was little more than a court jester. Vivienne was the first to turn that appointment into a source of real political power. When the Circle’s rebelled, technically every mage became an apostate… the word lost much of its strength.”

“Definitely a possibility,” I told her, “It seems like the guest wing is a place to start looking… at least according to the whispers.”

She nodded her agreement, “I will coordinate with our people to continue looking, find me in the ballroom if you hear anything important.”

After that, I searched out our people, Vivienne first, for some offer of wisdom. “You haven’t embarrassed yourself as much as I feared, well done, my dear,” she encouraged.

Josie introduced me to her younger sister, who seemed very interested in the stories of grandeur she has been hearing of the Inquisition and its leader, “Is this her, Josie! This is the Inquisitor!” she squealed as I approached. I spent some time entertaining her fantasies.

“Crotch rot, Beats his squire. He’s a she. He’s a bastard. Extra toes. What a fun close-marrying crowd,” Sera had all the best information when I found her perched aside the ballroom.

“Make any new friends?” I asked

She giggled, “Not likely, I’m just watching them watch you. They’re all glances and titters, not sure if they are allowed to like you yet… pathetic,” she snorted.

“Any thoughts on those we are investigating?” I asked, enjoying her perspective, as usual.

“The Empress is pretty. It’d be fun to drink and kill stuff with Gaspard. Briala is frigging funny… elves, elves, elves but it’s really a pissing match with an old lover… don’t know the rest but that’s our answer, right?”

Crossing through the vestibule, I eventual made my way to the gardens, they were lovely and to my surprise Dorian was there… looking uncomfortable.

“This is all so familiar. I half expect my mother to materialize from the crowd and criticize my manners,” he stated

“This is similar to the parties we used to attend as children,” I replied laughing at the utter irony of it all.

“The same double-dealing, elegant poison, canapes… it’s lacking only a few sacrificial slaves and some blood magic,” he added with a chuckle

“Well… the night IS still young,” I added with a dramatic curtsy

“Perhaps a dance later? For old times sake?” I asked

“Dancing with the evil Magister in full view of every noble in Orlais? How shocking…” he said

I laughed, “that is apparently my goal for the evening… to shock the court… I have orders to do so, from both Josie and Leliana,” I added

“Well then, we shan’t disappoint,” he said giving my hand a gentle kiss.

I needed to make my way into the library but since the doors were locked, I was left to find alternate means. Above the gardens to the left of the fountain, was lattice work that reached up to the balcony, where I believe the library was located. If only I could manage sneaking away without getting seen.

My original plan was to have Solona and I team up, both playing the Inquisitor, that way when one of us was exploring, the other could continue mingling, thus avoiding being ‘missed’ as Lei had called it. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as I had planned, so I’m on my own.

Thankfully, drunken debauchery often leads to drama, so it didn’t take long before some nobles, who had drank a little too much, to begin fighting, distracting the crowd long enough for me to climb the lattice work and sneak into the rooms above.                                                                                                      

Once inside, I managed to find a few gems or ‘scandalous secrets’ as Leliana had called them. The most noteworthy, a letter from Celene to a Lady M, which pointed to the Royal Wing and highlighted that the Empress doesn’t feel safe. As well as a letter from Gaspard, which mentioned Briala having a weapon that could turn the tide of all wars, wherein he discourages Celene from trusting the Ambassador and suggests they work together to take control from her.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48627054413/in/dateposted-public/) [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48627057298/in/dateposted-public/)


	63. Under the Same Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Arya is handling the Winter Palace, her friends are fighting their own battles.

* * *

**Sybil------------**

Although we all rode together, we stayed separate, Solona and her people road in one group, Blackwall, Bull and I, in another, slightly behind them. I had come to terms with the end of Anders and I, my sense of relief about it growing each day. It helped, traveling with them, watching him and Solona. He was more often Justice than Anders and something about her matched him, I just wish I could place it.

Next to me, Blackwell rode his chestnut mount within touching distance of my white one. His warm eyes and sweet smile, watching me, this also helped. Since we ran into each other, in the literal sense, back at Skyhold, we had gotten to know each other quite well. He had a secret of the dark, tortured sort, just the way I liked them. He also was insanely chivalrous, helping me down from my mount, opening doors for me, making me food, rubbing my shoulders, all the things that make a girl feel adored. Normally, I wasn’t one for that stuff but these days, with all the crazy going on around us, it felt nice to have those small moments of sweetness to cherish.

“Lucky for you, Sera prefers lady bits, or you might have a little competition for that tortured Warden’s heart,” Bull said, with a nudge to my side while we started the campfire. We all camped together, Bull had his own tent, but the rest of us paired up, me/Blackwall, Solona/Justice, the dwarves. Tonight, the moons were just slivers in the sky. Blackwall and I left the intensity of the campfire talk (Bull, and Oghren had some stories) for a quiet walk.

We were somewhere in the plains, Hala pranced about in the torch light. We found a huge wolf statue, some Dalish God, I wished Merrill were here, I’m sure she’d know all about it. We used it as a resting place, snug between its stone front paws, our backs protected from threats. I laid my head on his shoulder and he glided his hand carefully up and down my leg, we hadn’t had sex yet, but I was thinking it’d be a good night to start.

We sat in comfortable silence, listening to the sounds around us. I enjoyed these moments, stillness in an otherwise chaotic life. In one movement, I flipped my leg over his, putting me in a straddling position. “Hawke,” he said, “I don’t…” he didn’t get to finish his sentence because I interrupted it with a kiss, not our first one but this one held a promise of more. He returned the kiss, intensifying it but still holding back, I could feel it. “Blackwall,” I said, through panting breathes, “whatever it is you’re hiding, either tell me or put it aside, so it stops cock blocking us.”

His eyes turned astonished by my unladylike words. “well… I…” he shook his head, as if chasing away a thought, then looked at me, his eyes held hunger, and I knew he had put it aside, at least for now. “Let me…” he stated, “I want to take my time.” He stood up, pulling me with him, unlaced my leather tunic and pulled it over my head. I reached back, undoing my breastband, which he then unwrapped, spinning me gently as he did it. It came off with my back to him, I felt his warm breath at my shoulders before he began trailing soft kisses across each shoulder blade. His hands, hesitated, but only for a moment before he cupped the weight of my breast in one and found the sensitive skin of my nipple with the other. His fingers were calloused from years of sword fighting, it felt wonderful against my soft flesh. His machinations were delicate, gentle but had me wet and ready for him.

After his teasing and kissing had my heartrate up, he slid his hands to the waist of my breeches, moving them down my legs and following them with stubbled kisses, across my ass, down my thigh, with one last one at the back of my knee. I stepped free of the leather and kicked them to the side. He spun me around facing him. His gaze lingered on every each of by body, “You’re perfect,” he breathed. His hands found their way to a scar at my ribs, he trailed his finger across it, then did the same to the ones on my hip, stomach and collar bone. I felt self-conscious until his eyes met mine and the amount of desire within them had tripled since before. “May I?” I asked, placing my hand at the buckles of his tunic. He nodded, keeping his dark eyes on my face as I unfastened his clothes and tossed them to the side, finally able to answer my earlier question, and happy with the answer. He was magnificent under that armor.

He was built stockier than other men I had been with, but his body was toned and firm. His arms and thighs, thick with muscle. His stomach was defined and marred with scars, which just added to his appeal. His cock was thick and hard, and jumped as I leaned down to place a kiss upon it.

I didn’t linger but instead moved along the jagged, red and white scars littering his torso. He sucked in breath, each time my tongued moved to a new location. I followed the map on his trunk, from his hips to lips and back down to his shaft, glistening with precum. I licked the sweet liquid from his tip then wrapped my mouth around the length of him. “Sweet Andraste… Maker… Fuck,” he cursed, which caused me to giggle, releasing a humming sensation all along him. My eyes moved upward to take in the sheer pleasure in his face, head titled down, lips parted, eyes hungry. His legs started to shake, telling me he was losing his battle with control. He pulled himself free, hand grasping himself, breathing hard. “Cum on my tits,” I told him, raising up just enough to bury his dick between them. “Holy Fuck!” he yelled out as I started sliding myself up and down him. He grasped my shoulder for balance, as his hot seed spilt out, covering me from chin to navel.

“My, my you made a mess,” I said playfully, coating my fingers with his cum and licking them clean. His eyes filled with desire again, he pulled me to the ground and climbed atop me. “That was just to take the edge off,” his voice was throaty, “I have plenty more to share.” I felt him then, rock hard once again and poised at my entrance, “Ready?” he asked, “Yes,” I replied.

* * *

**Solona____________**

Anders seemed much more at ease since Sybil ended it. He was already putty in my hands, now he was simply more pliable. We had just entered the Western Approach. Our mission, to kill some darkspawn and make sure preparations to attack Adamant were well underway. Although with the Inquisition’s Commander gone, I’m not sure how well that fight will go. These other sods, although good warriors, didn’t have much in the way was strategic planning.

Speaking of planning, it was sweet of Arya to involve me as she did, she seemed to feel kinship of a sort between us. I wonder if that’s still the case, now that I sent Cullen spiraling into relapse. I didn’t do it on purpose, I didn’t know he had stopped taking lyrium, what Templar would do something silly like that? But I did completely intend to take him away from her, remind him who he wanted and that she could never replace me.

In a sense, it worked in my favor, now he is out of the picture and I don’t suffer any consequences, no conflict with Anders, no pretty boy’s ego to tend to. I wonder if Alistair would be as easy to pull from the Inquisitor’s grasp. He was different now, surer of himself and his feelings for her were true, I could see it in the sick way he looked at her. Cullen looked at her as well, but his eyes moved my direction, when Alistair’s did not. Another challenge for another day.

Pulling my horse to a stop, I searched around for the creatures, I could sense them, but the sand dancing on the breeze made it hard to find their location. Closing my eyes, I tuned out everything except the taint within, I let it led us forward, down a small embankment and into a mass of the creatures.

My blood sang for the release it knew was coming. vaulting off my horse, I drew the small dagger from the belt of my robes, dragging a long line down my forearm I watched the blood well, glowing with power, it surged through me and I sent if forth. The drops holding death in each and every one of them. The darkspawn squealed, melting into nothing but rank flesh at the mere touch of my power. As they died, their taint weaved its way along the ground to my feet, where I soaked it up, a laugh erupted from my throat at the intensity of their energy filling me.

Next to me, Justice was shooting sparks from his hands, blue light emanating from him, like a beacon. He was beautiful, “you will never take another life, you will never breed fear into the hearts of children,” he yelled at the blighted creatures.   

* * *

 

**Cassandra_________________**

It was dusk when we finally made it to the Inquisition’s camp in the Emerald Graves. Just the two of us, we traveled quickly and quietly. Alistair was different, he quietly hummed to himself, the same tune over and over again. He didn’t initiate much conversation, only commenting on the task at hand. A few points along the journey we were met with trouble, but the Warden is skilled in the art of battle, his sword rang true and strong against any foes in our path.

“Seeker,” our scouts saluted as we approached.

“This is Warden Alistair, we require supper than I want a full debrief on everything that has transpired since you left Skyhold with the Commander,” I introduced.

The patrols took our horses and brought us each a bowl of mashed potatoes and boiled ram meat. We sat around the campfire in silence. There was one scout who seemed extra anxious with our presence. Assuming that she was hiding something, I called her out. “Scout, what has you so nervous,” I asked. She blushed a bright red and cleared her throat. “Um… Warden?” she asked quietly, Alistair didn’t hear her, so I elbowed him and nodded in her direction.

“Oh, I apologize, lost in thought, how can I be of assistance?” he asked her. “Are you The Alistair?” she asked, turning even more red.

His classic crooked grin spread across his face, “I need to change my name,” he chuckled at her with a wink. She literally squealed with joy, “My parents were in Denerim during the Blight, they used to tell me stories of your heroism before bed,” her once hidden Ferelden accent becoming much more apparent in her excited state.

“Ah well, I will have to enlighten you with another story then… One night…” he started, and she leaned in intently.

I grunted and elbowed the man at my side…. “we have important business to attend to,” I reminded him,

“Oh right,” he let out a disappointed sigh, “I’ll tell you more later,” he offered, with another wink. Oh, how the charm oozed out of him... disgusting, I thought, as I walked to the planning tent, Alistair on my heels.

* * *

 

**Cullen-------------**

My heart and lungs burned from running… what was I running from? Above me the trees seemed to loom, snickering at my weakness, How’d the fucking story go... for every elf who died a tree sprouted… the dead elf, trees were laughing at me and no matter where I ran… no matter how fast, they were still there… laughing… demons….in my head… “you let her in again… and with her comes me,” it’s voice rubbed along my skin, sending shivers of desire through me.. “it was worth it though, she felt so nice, her wetness wrapped tightly around you...”

NO! I yelled NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

“you remember how I like it Cullen,” I heard Solona’s voice smooth like velvet,” like this,” she was close, but I couldn’t find her.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, turning abruptly toward the touch... Arya... I could smell her scent, “How could you Cullen?” her voice sounded strained “you said nothing would change… now I’m stuck… its cold here and the green light, it is so bright.”

ARYA! I called she needed me and I was lost, the trees were all reaching for me… “remember how I like it?”…  I ripped at my flesh… anything to get the sensation to go away…. Blood, whose blood is this….

“I thought you loved me,” Arya said between sobs…

smack, smack the sound of flesh-on-flesh… “you don’t need her… all you need is me… all you need is this… remember…. remember…

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	64. Halamshirel Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is friend and who is foe?

* * *

Once the bell began to toll, I headed back to the ballroom, making my way to the door on the second ring, “fashionable late.”

However, my entering was barred by a tall woman with long, dark hair and eyes, yellow like a cat’s. She was human, but something about her made me think elvhen. She had an aura of mystery about her, dangerous yet beautiful. I found myself envious of it, her strength, her power, her presence. 

“Well, well, what have we here? The leader of the new Inquisition, fabled Herald of the Faith. Delivered from the grasp of the fade by the hand of Blessed Andraste herself. What could bring such an exalted creature here to the Imperial Court, I wonder? Do even you know?” her voice was throaty, adding to her beauty but her tone playful, despite her darkness, I felt at ease.

“We may never know, courtly intrigues and all that,” I answered

“Such intrigues obscure much, but not all,” she gave a slight nod, “I am Morrigan, some call me advisor to Empress Celene on matters of the arcane.”

Suddenly, I felt many things, this is the occult adviser Leliana had spoken of, no wonder she despised this woman on a personal level. This was Morrigan, they one who traveled around Ferelden with them during the blight. The one who…. saved Alistair and Solona but also betrayed them in doing so. I don’t know if I should thank her or hate her…

As I was lost in thought she started wondering off, “You have been very busy this evening. Hunting in every dark corner of the palace,” she said, I followed, stepping into place beside her, “perhaps you and I hunt the same prey?”

Still not sure if I should trust her, I stuck to the pattern, answer a question with another question, “I don’t know, do we?”

She chuckled at my answer, “You are being coy,”

“I’m being careful,” I replied feeling frustrated by her berating tone

“Not unwise, here of all places. Allow me to speak first, then. Recently, I found, and killed, an unwelcome guest within these very halls, An agent of Tevinter. So, I offer you this, Inquisitor, a key found on the Tevinter’s body. Where it leads, I cannot say. Yet if Celene is in danger, I cannot leave her side long enough to search... but you can. It would be a great fool who strikes at her in public, in front of all her court and the Imperial guard, nonetheless, I must return to her.”

“Tell me My Lady, what is your interest in protecting Empress Celene?” I asked, curious of her role in all this.

“Honestly, self-interest, if anything were to happen to Celene, eyes would turn first to her ‘occult advisor,’ even if they knew otherwise. There are sharks in the water, and I will not fall prey to them. Not now, not ever,” her reasoning was selfish in nature but made sense.

“Briala’s people are whispering about disappearances in the servants’ quarters. This key may lead there.”

“The Ambassador does have eyes and ears everywhere, does she not?” she questioned, “Proceed with caution Inquisitor, enemies abound, and not all of them aligned with Tevinter. What comes next will be most exciting,” she left with a mischievous smile.

* * *

 

**Servants quarters---------------**

What we found in the servants’ quarter confirmed my suspicions, they were entirely overrun with Venatori agents. We fought our way through, although they seemed endless and many a servant was killed.

“Caught in the middle of this crap. What fully qualified arsehole, stops to kill a cook?” Sera asked, disgust in her voice

“They always kill the servants first, My Dear. Otherwise they could run and warn someone,” Vivienne chimed in, voice nonchalant, which just pissed Sera off more, “Oh sure, reasonable, innit? Frigging garbage.”

After clearing out the servants’ quarters we jumped down into the part of the courtyard not currently open. There was a man’s body, sprawled next to an elaborate fountain, as if an offering to Andraste herself.

“This is no servant. What is he doing here?” I asked

“This man is a Council of Heralds Emissary,” Vivienne stated.

“Is that the crest of the Chalon family?” I added

“The Duke!” Sera replied, surprised, “Gaspard will answer for this.”

“Something is going on here, but I do not believe it is as it seems, time to have a little talk with our plus one,” I stated, feeling like it was too obvious, if the Duke did have this man murdered, why leave his crest behind? It tasted like a set up.

More Venatori came out of the bushes around us, one in particular caught my attention due to her different attire, perhaps the leader? We took off after her, an ended up in the grand apartments, face-to-face with Briala.

“Fancy meeting you here,” she stated, stepping over the corpses with her delicate slippers, as if they were flowers in a field, “Inquisitor Trevelyan, what a surprise! My reports said you were terribly boring; they seem to have it wrong. We haven’t been properly introduced, have we? I’m Ambassador Briala.”

“Whose Ambassador are you exactly?” I asked

“If the nobility are going to treat elves as if we are not citizens, we may as well have the trappings of a foreign power,” she explained, “You’ve cleaned this place out, it’ll take months to get all the Tevinter blood off the marble. I came down to save or avenge my missing people, but you have beaten me to it, thank you Inquisitor.”

“So… I am assuming the Emissary in the courtyard… was not your work?” she asked

“He was dead when we found him, “I answered

“You may have arrived on the arm of Duke Gaspard, but you don’t seem to be doing his dirty work. I knew he was smuggling Chevaliers into the palace, but killing a council Emissary? Bringing Tevinter assassins into the palace? Those are the acts of a desperate man, whatever he tends to do, he will do it tonight.”

“Are you sure he is behind this? He was too… easygoing for a man plotting treason,” I asked, still not believing Gaspard was our mastermind.

Briala chuckled, “I see the rumors are true, Gaspard has been laying on the charm, has he? It has been all over Orlais, how the Duke plans to seduce his way into the Inquisition through the Inquisitor herself. Tales of your beauty have a far reach. Whatever he said, don’t let his charm blind you. He is Orlesian, that smile is his mask.”

She crossed her arms and looked me up and down like a prized animal, “I have misjudged you Inquisitor, you might just be an ally worth having. What could you do with an army of elven spies at your disposal? You should think about it.”

“You know how to make a sales pitch, Ambassador, I’ll give you that,” I replied, intrigued by her game

“I do, don’t I,” she said with a coy smile, “I know which way the wind is blowing Inquisitor. I’d bet coin that you’ll be part of the peace talks before the night is over. And if you happen to lean a little bit our way, it could be advantageous to us both,” she winked at that and leaped into the garden below disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

 

**Dance with the Duchess____________________**

I heard the bells begin to toll again, time to return to the ballroom. This time, upon entering, I was approached by the Grand Duchess Florianne. “Inquisitor Trevelyan, we met briefly,” she introduced herself

“Is there something I can help you with Your Grace?” I asked

‘Indeed, you can,” she stated, “I believe you and I are both concerned by the actions of… a certain person. Come, dance with me. Spies will not hear us on the dance floor.”

“Very well, shall we dance, Your Grace?” I asked offering my hand for her to take.

“I’d be delighted,” she answered with a curtsy, one must stick to the routine of it all.

The dance was a simple one, easy to follow and speak at the same time. “You are from the Free Marches, are you not? How much do you know about our little war?” she asked

“I assure you, the effects of this war, reach far beyond the border of the Orlesian empire.” I replied

“Perhaps it does. I find myself forgetting there is a world outside of the Empire,” she retorted

“It took great effort to arrange tonight’s negotiations, yet one party would use this occasion for blackest treason,” she stated, “The security of the Empire is at stake. Neither one of us wishes to see it fall.”

“Is that what we both want, Lady Florianne?” I probed

“I hope we are of one mind on this,” she replied

“In times like these, it is hard to tell friend from foe, is it not, Your Grace?”

She gave me a curious look and sighed in exacerbation, she thought I’d be easier to manipulate with fancy words…

“I know you arrived here on the arm of my brother Gaspard. And I know you have been everywhere in the palace… you are a curiosity to many, Inquisitor…. And a matter of concern to some.”

“Am I the curiosity or the concern to you, Your Grace?” I used my sweet tone

“A little of both, actually,” she replied, “This evening is of great importance, Inquisitor. I wonder what role you will play in it.”

“Do you even yet know who is friend and who is foe? Whom in the court can be trusted?” she asked

“If I’ve learned anything, Your Grace, it is to put my trust in no one,” I added

“In the Winter Palace, everyone is alone,” she whispered, as if it was a secret between just us.

“I can’t have escaped your notice that certain parties are involved in dangerous machinations tonight?” she asked

“I thought dangerous machinations were the national sport in Orlais?” I retorted, dropping her in to a low dip.

“The attack will come soon, you must stop Gaspard before it is too late,” she said, “In the Royal Wing garden you will find the captain of my brother’s mercenaries, he knows all Gaspard’s secrets, I’m sure you can persuade him to be forthcoming.”

We gave the customary bow at the end of the dance, “We will see what this night has in store, wont we?” I asked as I stepped away, leaving her somewhat astonished, by the look on her face.

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	65. Halamshirel Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This party is becoming more and more like the ones from Arya and Dorian's childhood.

* * *

It was Josie who found me first after the dance, “You’ll be the talk of the court for months,” she beamed with pride, “we should take you dancing more often.”

“I told you I could handle myself,” I replied, “I’d be happy to do more dancing, just not with Corypheus,”

She giggled, “I promise not to invite him to your next ball.”

Leliana approached next, “Were you dancing with Duchess Florianne?” she asked, sounding surprised. Why do they seem so against the idea that I mayknow how to handle myself in these types of situations?

“The Duchess is up to something, she told me there is proof Gaspard is in league with Tevinter. Briala also pointed her finger at Gaspard… but my gut says he isn’t behind it all,” I shared

“She offered up her own brother,” Leliana cut in, “she’s more cutthroat then I realized,” the Spymaster feigned a cough to cover up her giggle. Was it bad of me to really enjoy Lei’s humor?

“Whomever is behind it aside, it will happen tonight,” I confirmed

“What should we do?” Josie’s voice was desperate, “Warning Celene is pointless, she needs these talks to succeed, to flee would be to admit defeat.”

“Then perhaps we should let her die,” Leliana stated, bringing sheer shock to the other woman’s face

“Can you elaborate on that?” I asked her, more for Josie’s sake then my own

“What Corypheus wants is chaos. Even with Celene alive, that could still happen. To foil his plan, the Empire must remain strong. This evening, someone must emerge victorious,” she explained.

“And it doesn’t need to be Celene….” I voiced the thought out loud, she was right.

“Do you realize what you are suggesting, Leliana?” Josie questioned, although she knew the answer

The Spymaster’s voice and eyes grew cold, ruthless, “Sometimes the best path in not the easiest one.”

They all turned to me, looking for my choice, I was sure the Duchess had some plot, but I needed more information first, “I can’t decide this, not yet, I need more information,” I told them.

Leliana’s face looked disappointed, even annoyed, “You must. Even inaction is a decision, Inquisitor,” my title rolled coldly off her tongue.

“You could speak to Celene in the ballroom, but she wont act, not without proof,” Josie added

“And if Gaspard is behind it, he will admit nothing, if he is innocent, he will know nothing,” I mused outload.

“What did Duchess Florianne tell you?’ Lei asked

“She said Gaspard’s mercenary captain in in the Royal Wing, that he knows the Duke’s plan,” I replied

“Sounds like a trap,” Lei stated

“Or a lead,” Josie added

“Either way, I must go and search the Wing for clues,” I said with a sigh.

“We will get our people is position,” Leliana stated with a nod.

* * *

 I spent a little time, making small talk with the people around me, I even got a promise for a dance from the Dowager. I had yet to spend any time with my date, so I searched him out on one of the balconies.

His smile beamed as I approached, “My Lady, I was wondering when you’d grace me with your presence, too busy charming the court I hear?” he chuckled.

“What can I say, a girl must do her best,” I replied

“That she must,” he almost whispered, pulling me close, “how about a dance?”

“I’d love too,” I replied, allowing myself to sink into his grasp, partially to play along and partially because… honestly, I wanted a real dance.

We were alone, his soldiers posted at the door, keeping any possible interruptions away. It was nice, Gaspard was an excellent dancer and we moved gracefully from step to step. “Tell me Inquisitor, have you found anything useful on your explorations this evening?” he spoke softly into my ear. For someone so opposed to The Game, he played well, “I have found many a treasure, Your Grace,” I whispered back, releasing my breath against his strong jawline, which caused him to shudder.

He chuckled, bringing me into a spin, “Any about me?” he asked, once he had my back against him. “Why yes, a few are,” he spun me outward along his outstretched arm and roughly pulled me close again, faces level with one another, “and many regarding your…. competition,” I said the last word a breath away from his lips. Seduction, more enticing than The Game, in my mind, although the two go hand-in-hand.

Gaspard’s breath caught, he wanted to close the space, taste what I offered but he wouldn’t go there, not like this. He stepped back, bowing to me, “Thank you for the dance, Inquisitor,” he said, “I look forward to the possibility of more, as our alliance grows.”

“Certainly, Your Grace,” I replied with a curtsy

* * *

  **Royal Wing_______________**

Vivienne, Dorian, Sera and I found a way into the Royal Wing. And as suspected found more secrets and more fun facts. An elf told us of her distrust toward Briala. Apparently, Briala didn’t advocate for the elves when Celene purged their Alienage, she sat quietly in the Empresses bed and allowed it to happen. Now she wants to play revolutionary, but the elves don’t feel she has the right to speak for them.

Speaking of the Empress’s bed… we found a soldier tied up in it, probably the highlight for my companions. According to the soldier, Celene, promised him a ‘reward’ for spilling his guts about Gaspard’s plan …. We could all tell what he thought the ‘reward’ would be.

It was upon leaving the Empresses room that I felt it, a spark, a tickle of energy up my arm, there was a rift in the palace. Taking off towards it we crashed through a locked door and into that trap Lei had mentioned.

“Inquisitor, what a pleasure, I wasn’t sure you’d attend,” Duchess Florianne greeted me, I knew she was behind is all. “You’re such a challenge to read. I had no idea if you’d taken my bait.”

“I fear I am a bit busy at the moment, if you were looking for a dance partner, Your Grace,” I stated, unsurprised to see her here

“Yes, I see that,” she replied, “Such a pity you won’t be around for one final dance…. Or perhaps we just had it,” she retorted, touché’ it was a good one.

“Corypheus insisted that the Empress die tonight, and I would hate to disappoint him,” she continued

She seemed chatty, so I took the opportunity to gain some insight on my nemesis, “Why kill the Empress? What does Corypheus want to achieve?”

“Celene’s death is a steppingstone on the path to a better world,” she said with all the fever of a zealot… great, “Corypheus will enter the black City and claim the Godhood waiting for him. We will cast down your useless Maker and usher in a united world, guided by the hand of an attentive God.” She was loony for sure….

“You’re Orlesian royalty, why would you help Corypheus attack your Empire?”

“You think so small, Inquisitor. Why settle for an Empire when Corypheus will remake the entire world?” she stated, “I admit, I will relish the look on Gaspard’s face when he realizes I’ve outplayed him. He always was a sore loser.”

What exactly is in this for you?’ I had to ask, although I already knew the answer, all insane, power hungry people say the same thing

“The world of course,” she laughed, “I will deliver the entire south of Thedas and Corypheus will save me. When he has ascended to Godhood, I will rule all Thedas in His name.”

Yep, that’s it… that’s what they always say…... and she said I think small, does she not realize that she will be betrayed, just like every other fanatic minion who has come before her?

“In their darkest dreams, no one would imagine I would assassinate Celene myself. All I need is to keep you out of the ballroom long enough to strike. It’s a pity you’ll miss the rest of the ball, Inquisitor, they’ll be talking about it for years,” she shook her head in mock disappointment.

“Well, there’s that murder we were missing,” Dorian said at my back, causing me to smile, despite the death threats being sent my way.

“Kill her,” she commanded to the group of Venatori surrounding us, “bring me the marked hand as proof.”

She exited quickly expecting the agents to take care of us, but she underestimated our skill. With three mages’ in our party, the agent’s bodies looked like some type of abstract art, once we were done with them, ice sculptures, punctured with arrows, sparks slithering across the floor like a snake, fire dancing as if alive.

“Andraste’s Tits! What was that? Were those demons?” came a startled voice from the corner of the room. A man was tied to a column, I hadn’t even noticed him before.

“Those were in fact demons,” I answered the man, “but you are safe now.”

“Maker! I’ve never seen one that close before,” he stated, “I knew Gaspard was a bastard, but I didn’t think he’d feed me to fucking horrors over a damned bill.”

“Duke Gaspard lured you out here… over a bill?” I asked, trying to hide my smile.

“Well his sister, but it had to come from him, didn’t it?’ he asked, “All that garbage she was spewing, makes no sense to me.”

“Your accent sounds Ferelden, I thought you were one of Gaspard’s mercenaries?” I asked

“Aye, born and raised in Denerim,” he patted his chest with pride, “seems like I should have stayed there. The Duke wanted to move on the palace tonight, but he didn’t have enough fancy Chevaliers, so he hired me and my men. He had to offer us triple our usual pay to come to Orlais. Stinking poncy cheesemongers” he said

“Hah, cheesemongers,” Sera snort, laughed behind me

“Want a new job? One that pays better?” I asked, “The Inquisition can always use a good mercenary company.”

“You hiring? I’m game. Anything is better than this bullshite,” he answered, “you want me to talk to the Empress or the court?” he asked.

“Nah, just find yourself safely to Skyhold, tell them the Inquisitor sent you” I handed him a small sack of coin, with my crest on it.

“Inquisitor huh?” he looked me up and down, “I heard bout you back in Denerim, at the palace… as you wish, Your Grace,” he stated with a bow

I watched him leave, curious as to why he addressed me as royalty.

“Let’s go stop or allow an assassination,” Dorian said, pulling me from my thoughts, “have you decided yet, which it’ll be?” he raised his eyebrows quizzically, making me giggle

My group found our way back into the ballroom, just as Gaspard and Florianne took their places at the stage. Florianne’s face was priceless when she saw us enter, unscathed

“Thank the Maker you’re back,” Josie said, approaching us.

“The Empress will begin her speech soon… what have you decided?” this from Leliana

The Duchess will assassinate Celene personally, wait for her to strike, then grab her.” I said, voice wavering with the weight of my words

Leliana’s face turned up into an almost evil smile, “As you wish,” she said  

  
  
  


 


	66. Halamshirel Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night comes to a close and despite saving the day... again, Arya's mind floats back to her companion's.

* * *

“The Empire will fall and Thedas with it, Inquisitor,” Florianne stated, once we had chased her outside to the courtyard,

“What a pity you wont live to see any of it,” I spat at her

“You don’t think I came this far without an escape planned?” she laughed, raising her bow, “Your death will be the crowning jewel of my victory tonight.”

“Seems like we do get that final dance after all,” I called as she used some type of powder to poof herself away. It wouldn’t do her any good, a look passed between Dorian and I, with a fade step we were on either side of her, holding her in place.

“Unfortunate, My Dear, that your skill at The Game is so… lacking,” Vivienne said, mock brushing her off, as if no more than dust in the air.

“Hey Asshat, this is for the servants you killed… how’s it feel to be garbage,” Sera called before shooting her right through the stomach with an arrow.

“You will pay for this!” she yelled, “Corypheus will avenge me.”

“That’s what all power hungry maniacs tell their lackeys, Your Grace,” Dorian said.

“Let him come,” I whispered in her ear, before Dorian and I sent electricity through her body she screamed and crumbled into ash at our feet.

* * *

Ironically… or maybe not so ironically, when we went back inside, the party had continued as if nothing happened. “More and more like home,” Dorian said, making a heart shape with his hands over his chest.

We found Gaspard and Briala arguing on one of the balconies, “You’re wasting time trying to stir the nobility against me, we are at war!” Gaspard was saying

I hardly had to stir them at all. Your sister just murdered Celene in front of everyone! That makes you a traitor by association,” Briala spat back

“What do you hope to gain Briala, you can’t claim Celene’s throne for yourself,” he added

“Maybe not,” she spat venomously, “but I can keep it from you.”

I was feeling frustrated, Briala was so stuck on her personal vendetta that she couldn’t see the big picture. Leaving the throne open, continuing the battle for power, would give Corypheus exactly the chaos he wanted.

“Briala, your perspective is valid, the elves do deserve better treatment, they need to be treated as part of the kingdom. However, right now a bigger enemy threatens us all, Corypheus threatens Thedas as a whole. If he gains control it wont matter how the elves are treated, it wont matter how mages, nobility, or anyone is treated because everyone will either be dead of enslaved. I have seen that future... we cannot let it come to fruition,” I pleaded my case to the Ambassador.

“I will not let this traitor take the throne,” she spat at Gaspard’s feet, “Your villain, this Corypheus, is nothing but a boogeyman to me, I do not see him, I see no proof of his existence. All I see is another shem, buying for power,” she said turning stubborn eyes to me.

“Briala, concede and work with me rather than against me,” Gaspard begged

“I will not,” she stated, “I will turn every one of my eyes against you and this Inquisition.”

She wasn’t going to give an inch, thankfully she didn’t have to. I had enough blackmail from my adventures this evening, to exile anyone of the three of them.

They argued back and forth, trying to force the other down. “Enough!” I yelled, “Gaspard will be the Emperor.”

“Your title has gotten to your head…. Inquisitor,” she said, “you do not have that kind of power.”

“What do you plan on doing? Sit at his side and hold his hand, to fend off the accusations?” she questioned

“Briala, I have proof that you stepped aside while Celene purged the Halamshirel alienage… how will your ‘people’ react if they learn that their ‘Ambassador,’ allowed them to be ripped from their homes and murdered, to protect her place in the Empress's bed?” I didn’t want to use blackmail but if she insists on playing dirty, I could keep up.

“I see…” she dropped her eyes to the ground

“The Empire needs stability if it is going to overcome it’s threats, if it is going to stand strong against Corypheus, that should be more important then playing revolutionary.”

“Psst, you didn’t do this for the good of Orlais, this is a grab for power, Inquisitor, we all know that Gaspard wanted to seek your hand, you have just made yourself Empress… congratulations,” she said, voice spiteful, “the court will not accept you, they will see right through this little ploy.”

“The Game is over Briala, you played well, but you have lost,” Gaspard added, “I will bring security to the Empire for the first time in years.”

Guards showed up then, escorting Briala away. I wonder if they were going to execute her or exile her somewhere far away.

* * *

 “Come, My Lady, you and I must address the Court,” Gaspard said, placing his arm out for me to grasp, as he did when we first arrived.

He stopped me a moment before we stepped into public view, “We all owe you our lives Inquisitor, you have proven yourself a friend, I am not one who forgets my friends,” he said, then lent in, kissing my cheek, “Stand at my side My Lady? we should speak to our people in solidarity.”

The people froze, once we stepped out onto the stage, Gaspard took my hand leading me to the front with him,

“And so, the crown falls to me, this is not the victory I hoped for. I wanted this moment filled with song, not with sorrow. Nonetheless, I have always been a soldier, as every soldier knows, the difference between defeat and victory is simply in how it is named.

An enemy has struck the Empire, in it’s very heart. As your Emperor, I promise justice. Orlais will not allow such atrocities- corruption, deceit, murder- to go unchallenged. We will face this Corypheus; he will know the wraith of the Lion. We will fight shoulder-to-shoulder with the Inquisition. Together, we will send our enemy to the Maker’s judgement.”

The people cheered at his speech and even I felt prideful... maybe I had made the right choice. Gaspard looked to me to continue the pep talk, “We will show Corypheus that we will not break, we will not bend a knee. Together, we will show him that the true strength, of not only Orlais, but Thedas, lies not in it’s armies, its Herald, or its Emperor, but in the collective strength of all of us, fighting for our right to live, our right to believe, our right to be, in solidarity.”

They called even louder, and the smile on Gaspard’s face was as priceless as the astonishment on Florianne’s earlier. “We have much work ahead, but for now let us celebrate this moment of victory, this moment of alliance,” Gaspard said with a deep bow to the crowd.

* * *

The party continued, Gaspard mingled, danced and indulged in the moment. Once his attention was fully absorbed, I quietly made my way back outside. I don’t know how long I stood, staring off into the darkness. “Here at last I find our absent hero,” a throaty voice came from behind me, “hidden away despite the efforts of all Orlais to find you.” I turned find Morrigan, “Gaspard drunkenly toasts in your honor, ‘Deliverer from Darkness’ and other titles, equally complimentary and awkwardly phrased,” she said slurring her words to mimic his.

“That’s what I do… fall out of the sky… make bad decisions and somehow, everyone still follows me,” I stated raising my hands as if saying ‘not sure why.’

She chuckled at me, “So they do, and it seems I am also to join that esteemed crowd. By Imperial decree, I have been named ‘Liaison to the Inquisition’” she slurred the title again, mocking Gaspard.

“Do you even want to join us?” I asked

“Humble as well as gracious,” she replied, “something big is coming Inquisitor, and I want to be there when it rears its head.”

“In that case, welcome to the Inquisition, Morrigan,” I replied

“I will see you at Skyhold,” she said with a nod

I had only a moment to turn back around, before I sensed Dorian behind me. “A new recruit?” he questioned, “Yes, Morrigan is now ‘Liaison to the Inquisition,’ I replied, using the same slurred tone she had.

“Why are you hiding out here?” he asked, “are you alright?”

“Yes, it’s just been a long night,” I replied, turning back toward the darkness, almost wishing it’d suck me up and take me somewhere far away.

He grabbed my hands, turning me back to face him, “Arya, you won… you saved the day. Literally, the day is saved, you should be celebrating, having your way with any of those young nobles in there, they’re like peaches, fresh for the tasting.” He said, gesturing toward the ballroom dramatically.

I gave a small smile, I know I should be ecstatic, but I felt drained, unsure, afraid. It seemed wrong to celebrate here and now, when so many of the people I cared about were lost… out there in the darkness.

“What you need is a distraction, I have just the thing... earlier you asked me for a dance… shall we?” he offered me his hand, “One more shock for the night, what do you say Inquisitor?”

“I was wondering if you’d keep your word,” I said, accepting his hand.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to tsfb394119 for the colorful language Sera uses in this chapter.


	67. Duty: A Four Letter Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is pressing down on the inner circle, what will they choose to do?

* * *

**Cullen---------**

Something was sticking me in the back, every time I’d try to find a comfortable position, it’d stick me anew. Is this another sick form of torture I called out, at that same moment, something cold spilled across my face. I sat up, reaching for my sword, which wasn’t there. My eyes were fuzzy… or maybe it was just dark… I could see a silhouette of a figure “Who are you? What have you done to me?” I yelled at whoever or whatever it was.

“I apologize Ser, you yelled… I was startled and spilled the decanter of water,” a female’s voice spoke in the dark, fuzziness around me.

“here…. Let me help you get dry,” she stepped toward me and I pulled away... “don’t come near me,” I yelled

“Clara,” a man’s voice, Orlesian by the sound of it, “I’ll take it from here.”

“Yes Fairbanks, Sir,” the female replied

“Fairbanks?” I asked

“Yes, and you are Cullen Rutherford, the Inquisition’s Commander, are you not?” the man asked

“Hmph…. NO, I am not,” I stated

“Ah, well your identification says otherwise,” the man said

“Where am I?” I asked

“Now we are getting somewhere… you are in the Emerald Graves at Watcher’s Rest,” he answered, “You have been a guest in my Camp for a while now… I am not surprised you don’t remember… you have been out-of-sorts.”

“I feel okay now, what did you do to me?” I prodded

“Well, we removed all the lyrium from your system and gave you a special tonic I cooked up from Prophet’s Laurel, Elfroot, and Blood Lotus, it helped keep the delusions at bay, so your body and mind could heal,” he explained

“How did you know?”

“I have seen your kind suffer through the lyrium withdrawal before, a noble goal, if it can be accomplished” he stated

I rubbed my eyes, still unable to see clearly. “Your vison will clear in time, it’s a side effect from the tonic, once it’s out of your system as well, your sight will come back. In the meantime, have some food, slowly, and continue to rest, you have been unconscious for about a month.”

“WHAT!!” I yelled “A MONTH?” I have to get back, she needs me, the Inquisition… we are at war,” the words came spilling from my mouth as I jumped to my feet, and promptly fell to the ground. “As I said, you have been unconscious for a long time, your muscles are weak, you would not be much help to the Inquisition at this point. For someone who is not the Inquisition’s Commander you sure care for it…” he mocked.

“Have you sent word that I am here?” I asked

“No, we have not, with the Civil War coming to a close and Celene’s assassination, it has been an intense time,” he began

“Celene is dead? The Civil War is over?” I asked, dread filling me to the brim, we had failed, the Inquisition had failed, and it was all my fault.

“Yes, your Inquisitor saved the day, although Celene was murdered, the Inquisition protected the people from the big bad guy, Corypheus. Now Emperor Gaspard has pledged all of Orlais to the fight against that creature.”

“Arya is alive!” I said

“Arya? If that’s the Inquisitor then, yes, she is alive and well,” he answered

“Gaspard is Emperor?” I recited what he just told me

“Yes, his sister assassinated Celene and the Inquisitor gave him the crown… some say it was a ploy to set herself up as Empress… not that Gaspard would be against the idea. Others say she had no hand in it at all, the Council decided whose head the crown would land upon.”

Arya as Empress….  Lei had mentioned it at the war table, if only I hadn’t fucked everything up…. “do not send word… not until I can be of use to them,” I told him.

“Of course, Commander, he said

“Is there anything else that I should know?” I asked

“I hear your Inquisition has allied with the Qunari, that’s impressive if you ask me,” he stated, “now eat and rest and heal.”

The man, Fairbanks placed a bowl of something warm in my hands, it smelled delicious and I gulped it down, ravenous from lack of sustenance.

* * *

**Arya-------**

It’s not that I wasn’t happy to be going home, I just really wanted to go straight to the Emerald Graves. But thanks to my royal escort, I was parading back to Skyhold with the new Emperor at my side.

“There is no one at home to ready it,” Josie was whispering to Leliana, eyes scared

“I sent word,” the Spymaster replied

“Word to whom? Anyone who could hope to do it right, is WITH US!” the Ambassador’s voice went from sweet to angry in one sentence

“I don’t know what to tell you, Josie, I did the best I could, Varric will do fine,” she said attempting to comfort her distraught friend

“Wait…  you’re telling me that Varric is in charge of preparing all of Skyhold for the Emperor of Orlais……” Josie asked

“That is what I said, is it not?” Leliana offered in return

Josie rubbed her forehead in concern but said nothing more about it.

* * *

**Alistair_________**

It’s been a month since we left Skyhold, and still parts of the Emerald Graves eluded us. This place was huge, we found a lot of ruins and hostile’s who called themselves Freeman of the Dales, but no Cullen. Wherever he was, he didn’t want to be found.

I was staring at a map of The Dales, in the red Inquisition tent, where would I go, If I didn’t want to be found.  Perhaps he moved on from the forest?

“What’s wring with you?” Cassandra asked as she entered the tent. This blasted song was getting worse and worse; it was becoming hard to focus… but I couldn’t tell her that. “I don’t think he’s here,” I answered her, running my fingers through my hair, “the Exalted Plains, Gaspard has encampments there, perhaps he sought refuge among the soldiers?”

“We have come up empty handed here in the forest, lets give it a try,” she replied

“Seeker, Warden?” a voice came in from outside, “Something for you from Griffon Wing Keep,” the scout called from outside the tent.

**_Ali,_ **

**_We’ve scouted Adamant, there are a lot of Wardens there. Solona and the others have taken care of the darkspawn in the area, we’ve secured fresh water, food and commerce. Troops are all here and ready to go, we are just waiting for word to take the fortress, what is the plan? We need to act soon, with or without the Commander._ **

**_Sybil_ **

Shit, I was hoping we’d find Cullen before taking the fort, but Sybil was right, we can’t put it off any longer. I handed the letter to Cassandra. Her eyes quickly scanned the message and looked back at me, distraught.

“What should we do?” she asked, “I promised Arya we’d find him, but we can’t let it interfere with us stopping Corypheus.”

“Duty must always come first,” I told her, “Cullen, is either already dead or doesn’t want to be found, neither are things we can control. I say we send word to Arya to leave for the Western Approach.”

“Perhaps, we can send some scouts to the Plains to see if Cullen is there?” Cassandra added, “I’ll send a raven to Leliana, let her choose the scouts.”

**_Leliana,_ **

**_No luck in the Emerald Graves. We think perhaps he sought refuge amongst soldiers in the Exalted Plains. Send scouts to see if they can find any hint of him._ **

**_Word from Griffon Wing Keep, our people are ready to take the fortress, including the siege equipment Josephine requested. We can’t spare anymore time. Tell the Inquisitor to meet us there ASAP, bring any remaining soldiers. The Inquisition is going to war._ **

**_Cassandra_ **

* * *

**Arya__________**

Three days of nonstop dancing and partying, Varric had done well, preparing Skyhold to host the Emperor and his people. Josie even seemed impressed.

“You look more and more beautiful every time I see you,” Gaspard whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. That was Viv’s plan, when she chose my attire for the time, we’d be hosting our guests. I was instructed to “play along, entice and tease but not go all the way,” with our new friend. Thankfully, I found Gaspard to be charming and handsome, so it wasn’t hard to enjoy his attention. Did I want to wed him? No. Did I want to be Empress? No, not really. Did I want to be intimate with him? Well… I was curious.

Instead of pulling out of his grasp, I turned within the circle of his arms, which brought out faces close. He had that huge, golden mask on. I wish he’d take it off. His blue eyes sparkled behind it and I found myself really wanting to see his face without any sort of mask covering it.

“Do you trust me?” I cooed against his ear

“Of course,” he replied

“Then come,” I said pulling him gently off the dance floor, hoping we could escape before some bodyguard noticed. I took him to the door that lead to the garden, a guard was posted there, “We want to take a stroll,” I told the soldier, who nodded and stepped aside. Once on the other side, I pushed the brick, which opened one of the secret passages to Skyhold’s underbelly. The wall behind me gave way, just enough for me to pull Gaspard through. He let out a gasp as we were engrossed in darkness. “Inquisitor, I….” he started but I interrupted him

“I want to see you,” I whispered, shooting a couple balls of light into the passageway, illuminating the space with a low light, “I want to see you without any mask, just you and me.”

Reaching up to the back of his head, I unfastened the heavy gold mask, pulling it over his head and setting it gently on the floor next to us. My intuition was right, he was handsome. He had blue eyes that sparkled in the low light, they were brighter without the shade from the mask. His jaw line was angular and had a dusting of dark stubble. His hair was also dark, cut short on the sides and a little longer on top, like a shorter version of Krem’s hair. I ran my hand along the roughness of his dimpled cheeks and across his lips, which were sharp edged and firm. He caught my hand at his chin, “Inquisitor,” he began again, “You know I am not one for The Game, if you are to see me unmasked, I request the same of you.”

Seemed a reasonable request to me. I reached up and untied the petite, silver mask I wore this evening, tossing it to the floor next to his. My hair had been pinned into an elaborate updo, I pulled the pins out and shook my curls loose, allowing them to fall past my hips. From under my skirt I pulled one of my daggers, he sucked in a breath, “Don’t worry, it’s not for you,” I told him before turning it on myself and slicing the fancy Orlesian gown Viv had stuffed me into down the front. The gown fell to the floor, revealing my breast band, underwear and the belts on each thigh, that held my daggers.

His eyes were wide in shock, but as they followed the line of my body a smile crossed his face. “Inquisitor… I..” but I cut him off again. Stepping forward I grabbed his hands in mine, “no masks, tonight I am just Arya.”

“And I am Gaspard,” he said

“And what we do, does not carry into our dealings moving forward, I am not doing this as a ploy to be your wife or gain your favor. I am doing this as a woman, who has enjoyed your company and is curious what you feel like,” I told him.

“And I am just a man, who has a beautiful lady in front of him. A lady I want to share pleasure with,” he responded

“Follow me then,” I instructed, leading him through the corridors and into one of the many empty bedrooms hidden away within Skyhold.

 

  
  
  



	68. News!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News makes it to Arya although not the news she was hoping for.

* * *

**Leliana______**

We bid the Emperor and his troop farewell after four days of partying, it was fun but exhausting. I sat at my table reading the message from Cassandra. Attacking Adamant without our Commander…. It felt wrong, I know we could do it, between Rylen and Ali we had strong military strategists. Arya was not going to like this, but she would choose duty in the end.

I found her outside, watching the troops in the training grounds. Rylen was drilling them, but not nearly as hard as Cullen would have.

“Arya,” I started

“News!?” she replied voice hopeful

“Yes, but not what you want to hear…” I said handing her the message. She read it quickly and I saw the tears well behind her sapphire eyes, she would not let them fall but they were there when she looked back up to my face.

“Without him?” she asked

“We will miss our chance to stop the demon army, we cannot put finding Cullen ahead of stopping Corypheus,” I told her

She nodded agreement, handing me back the letter, “lets meet in the war room in 30 minutes,” she said

* * *

  **Arya_______**

After leaving Lei, I ended up in the Herald’s Rest, it was still quiet without Bull and the Chargers. I sat at the bar next to Varric, “ready to go to war?” I asked

“well… shit,” is all he said, sliding his mug to me, which I gladly took and downed a couple long swigs

“I want to thank you for all you did in preparing Skyhold for the circus we brought home from Orlais,” I told him

“Hey, it felt nice to do something other then slaughter demons and trudge through dark caves,” he replied

I nodded in agreement, “You did great!” I reiterated

“As did you, the Emperor left smitten with you... you know that right?” he asked

“Nah,” I answered,

“Oh yes he did, you should have seen the way he looked at you when you had your back turned, it was so cliché’ I couldn’t have written it better in Swords and Shields,” he chuckled

“Well, it wasn’t planned that way,” I told him

“Inquisitor, do you really not know the effect you have on those around you?” he asked

“What do you mean, I am just me,” I told him

He just chuckled, “you may see it that way but to everyone else, you are so much more.”

I was confused a little, how could I be more then who I am… my thoughts were interrupted by a scout running into the tavern.

“Inquisitor, someone is approaching, the lookout said to send word for you right away.”

I jumped to my feet, panic shooting through me, “Are we under attack?” I asked

“No, it’s a single person, on foot,” he replied

“We’ll be leaving for Adamant soon, prepare for departure,” I told Varric before running out just as the gates lifted revealing… Solas…

“Solas!” I yelled running to my friend and wrapping my arms around his neck, “I didn’t know if you’d come back,” I told him, tears rolling down my cheeks at the joy of having him home.

He leaned back enough to look me in the eyes, “I almost didn’t return,” he said, which caused my heart to sink.

“but you have been a true friend, when I didn’t deserve one, you have always been there for me,” he used his slender fingers to wipe the tears from my cheeks, “I could not abandon you.”

“Now I need a little time to reacquaint myself, may I find you later?” he asked

I nodded, “We will be leaving for Adamant soon, word from Cassandra… you’ll want to check in with Leliana.”

I planted a kiss on his forehead, “thank you for returning Solas,” then made my way to the war room, where Leliana, Josie and Rylen awaited.

* * *

“I have a small force still here at Skyhold, mostly recruits,” Rylen explained

“My scouts are dispersed sparsely all around,” Leliana added

“The Orlesian nobles are ready to help anyway they can, however the army is still spread thinly. Emperor Gaspard has only recently sent word that the Civil War is over and to return home,” Josie stated

I looked at the map, thinking of the best way to strategize. Usually Cullen did this part. Three pairs of eyes were on me, waiting for my word… I didn’t know what to say.

Behind me the door squeaked open, I turned with a silent prayer that Cullen would walk through it.

“May I be of assistance?” Solas asked as he stepped through

Everyone let out a sigh, “We are always open to extra help,” I said, trying to not let my disappointment known.

Solas looked at the map for a number of moments, his eyes were moving quickly as he took in everything.

“Josie, will the noble’s send their personal guards?” he asked

“They said, they’re standing by to help in whatever way they can,” she answered.

“Send word to each noble in Orlais, ask them to send a portion of their guard to Griffon Wing Keep, even if they all send only a few soldiers, it will resemble a small army,” I told her, she wrote the instruction on her list.

“Rylen, do you believe the recruits you have here are ready to fight?” Solas asked

“Some could handle themselves and some are still just learning,” he answered.

“I will take the ones who can handle themselves with me to the Keep, allow the others to stay here and guard Skyhold,” I added

“They will need someone with experience to lead them,” Rylen added

“You will stay here at Skyhold,” I told him, he didn’t like that answer but nodded in agreement.

“Lei, keep your scouts at there current posts, I want them to focus of finding Cullen and keeping an eye on all the other players, the Wardens are just one part of Corypheus’ plan,” I stated,

Leliana nodded, “as you wish,” she said

“Does that plan work for everyone?” I asked, “we are in this together, if you have other thoughts do share them.”

“I do not like staying behind, who will Command the troops during battle?” Rylen asked

“He has a point, Arya, you will take a front-line role and Alistair will want to confront he Warden’s,” Solas added

I glanced at Lei and Josie, whom both nodded.

I grabbed the Inquisition pieces and moved them to the triangle, marking Adamant Fortress. “Alright, Rylen, we are leaving at dawn, you and Leliana decide whom to bring with and whom to leave in charge of defense here at Skyhold.”

 

  
  



	69. One of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair is given some food for thought

* * *

**Alistair-----------**

The Inquisition flag danced in the wind above Griffon Wing Keep as we approached. Cassandra and I had pulled our people from the Emerald Graves, all except a few scouts. We would need to figure out what was going on with the Freeman of the Dales, but it’d have to wait for direct confrontation. We sent word to Emperor Gaspard, informing him that a number of his deserters are causing a ruckus in the Dales, that can be on his plate for the time being.

The gates were opened as we approached, our 50 soldiers blended quickly with the hundreds already milling around the Keep. Tying my mount in the stables, I headed toward the red command tent. Sybil was at the head of the council table, Bull at her side. “Thank the Maker, you’re here,” she said as Cassandra and I entered.

“Where are we in preparations?” Cass asked, straight to the point, which I was beginning to really appreciate.

“Most of our troops are here, word came from Skyhold, Arya and Rylen are bringing another regiment with them, they should be her within the week. The Ambassador has requested Orlesian nobles to send some of their personal guard to assist, they are straggling in from across the nation,” Sybil explained

“Why not the Orlesian army?” she asked

“The Emperor has just sent word that the Civil War is over and called the soldiers home, The Boss felt it’d be best to let them recuperate for when we confront Corypheus directly, rather than using them now,” Bull added.

“What of the darkspawn, I sense some, but they are distant?” I questioned

Warden Commander Amell, has taken our Warden’s to close a deep roads entrance we found down in the canyon, we expect them back in the next day or two,” he added

“Josephine requested siege equipment from some of our allies, it is here and ready for transport to Adamant,” Sybil added

“We brought 50 of our soldiers with us from the Emerald Graves, the scouts are staying behind to continue the search for Cullen,” I added

“Shit,” Sybil said, “I was hoping…. Well…. “

“We cannot dwell on it now, we must switch our focus to the task at hand,” Cassandra added voice harsh, but her eyes were soft... she was hoping as well.

Exiting the tent, I made my way to the makeshift tavern for a drink. My mind was reeling with questions. “Where had that pompous ass ran off too and what about Arya?” Part of me hoped he didn’t return, less competition but I know he is an important member of the Inquisition. The Inquisition needed him… Arya, hopefully did not.

I looked around at the dozen or so soldiers, laughing and sharing stories around me. We were marching to war against my own people… the Warden’s… we were supposed to be kin, not enemies. I wonder how many of these young men and women would fall to a Warden’s blade? So much wasted potential, on both sides. I suddenly felt disgusted and gulped down my drink so I could leave. I needed some space and thankfully the Western Approach offered miles of it.

**Solona____________**

The man, Blackwall, fought well, he jumped into the horde of darkspawn without a second thought, like he was one of us, but he was not. I didn’t sense any taint within him, a dark past and lies as deep as he was tall, but no taint.

He took down an huge Hurlock Alpha and I tossed him a rag, “wipe your face, you don’t want to get their blood in your mouth,” I yelled, his face was puzzled but before we could speak us it another wave came upon us. Anders sent a wall of fire forward, catching them as it danced across the expanse between us. The screamed in horror as their flesh burnt away and I laughed, I loved that part.

We were supposed to seal off the entrance and return to the Keep but the Deep Roads sang a song so sweet, I had to check it out. Where did the entrance lead? What ancient thaig was hiding beneath the dusty expanse above?

Blackwall was still eyeing me suspiciously, if he wanted to be a Warden so bad, I knew how to perform the Joining. I was about to say something but Oghren beat me to it, “You can’t be part of the club unless you drink the juice,” he said patting the man roughly on the back.

“What do you mean?” Blackwall asked

“Becoming a Warden, its not just a choice, you have to survive the Joining ritual, take the taint within yourself and then you hold that taint inside of you, that’s why Warden’s can sense the darkspawn, we can feel the taint within them… and within each other,” Sigrun added

“So, you knew I wasn’t a Warden because you don’t smell the taint inside me?” he questioned

We all nodded, “Yep!” Anders added cheerfully

“Can all Warden’s tell?” he asked

“Yep!” Anders again

“So Alistair just kept it quiet for…..”

“because he is a poncy coward,” Anders stated, voice still cheerful

“Anders,” I said giving him a warning glance, “don’t talk poorly of our comrade.” He had much hate for Alistair, stemming from when we first met, and my heart was still heavily wounded…. I may have said all negative things

“Piss,” Anders humphed before taking a few paces away from us.

“I know how to do the Joining, if you want, I could perform it on you?” I offered.

Blackwall’s eyes opened in surprise, “You’d do that for me?” he asked

I shrugged, “And for the Warden’s, we are going to need to replenish ourselves after we get done slaughtering each other.”

He nodded in agreement, “when could you do it?”

“well… right now if you want?” I added

He sputtered as the swig he took from Oghren’s bottle came spewing from his nose, “What the fuck is this stuff?” he asked the dwarf

“hee-hee-hee… my own brew... I haven’t named it yet… was thinking ‘Lady Killer’…” he said, nudging Sigrun in the shoulder

“Well Branka is dead,” Sigrun added

“And Felsi, she died in Amaranthine, didn’t she?” Anders added from his post.

Oghren just looked from one-to-the-other of us, “Ya’ll a bunch of nug humpers,” he called, which had us all belly laughing.

* * *

  **Alistair___________**

Maybe it was the music that I followed... maybe the smell of the blighted creatures… maybe by chance… it didn’t really matter in the end. All I know is that I ended up at an entrance to the deep roads. “I thought Solona was going to close this off,” I thought to myself.

Stepping closer to it’s opening, the song got louder, it was like a sweet melody and before I realized, I was inside and making my way down a dark tunnel covered in darkspawn corpses.

The song calmed my buzzing nerves, before long I was humming out loud to it's toon. Thanks to Solona, the path was completely clear. I sensed something strong though... magic of some sort and the taint or a mixture of the two. After a few hours of walking the smell was so strong I could taste is, that’s when I heard a familiar chant in a familiar voice

_“Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn….”_

Why the fuck was Solona reciting the Joining. I started running but the voice sounded closer than it was. The tunnels playing tricks on my ears. I finally picked out Solona’s smell from all the others and ran towards it

“… _And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you.”_

They came into view just as I heard a clatter and saw a man’s body fall to the ground.

“Alistair, we were just talking about you,” she called out cheerfully, as if the body at her feet meant nothing… what has happened to her

“What have you done,” I yelled, recognizing Blackwall and kneeling next to him.

“The man wanted to be one of us so badly… I granted his wish,” she said

His breathing was shallow but even, he was alive, thank the Maker.

“What if he didn’t make it Solona?” I asked her

“Then he’d just be another one who didn’t make it, I don’t understand, what’s the big deal?” she replied

“He is one of Arya’s people,” I answered her

“And… why does that matter…. Have you forgotten who your people are Ali?” she said kneeling at my side, anger in her sapphire blue eyes, “Wardens are you people and we…” she gestured out to the group around us “.... we need to rebuild; we need to replenish our stalks. Arya… the Inquisition, they aren’t your people Ali.”

She placed her hand against my cheek, just like she used to do, so many years ago, her eyes were warm and held compassion within their depths. “we are your family, remember Ali, remember when it was just you and I? We vowed to rebuild our order, our family, now we need to do it again, you and I together,” she whispered the last part

I met her eyes, something about them was off, they looked kind, but it was like a mask, I could see something else peeking out from underneath, “together,” she repeated leaning in as if she was going to kiss me

“Not like this,” I told her, “the Inquisition cannot risk losing its people right now, we are about to go to war. Rebuilding the Warden’s will need to be done but not with Arya’s people, at least not before we have defeated Corypheus.”

Her eyes turned angry again, “I am Warden Commander, not you, you gave it up… remember? You were to afraid, so you gave all of us up,” she spat, “I will open our ranks to whomever I deem worthy.”

Our squabble ceased when Blackwall began muttering. His eyes fluttered, a few times then he shot straight up, nearly knocking us over as he did. “Andraste’s Holy Knickers,” he said rubbing his head. Oghren tossed him his flask, “it’ll numb the pain,” the dwarf said.

Blackwall, took one swig, then two more, before he tossed it back, “Aye, welcome to the family, get yer own brew now.”

“Welcome, Warden,” Sigrun gave a bow

“No more pretending, now you really are one of us,” Solona added, pulling Blackwall into an embrace.

Thank you, Commander,” he replied to her

He turned to me with a beaming smile, she really had granted his wish. “Welcome to the team, Blackwall,” I said giving the man a pat on the shoulders.

“Thank you, and thank you for not outing me when we first met,” he stated, which caused me to chuckle

“Not a problem,” I replied

Anders came up then, put his arm around Blackwall’s shoulder and started walking back toward the entrance. “Now here’s the thing… you can’t tell Sybil, she won’t like this idea of you being a Warden,” he was saying

“Sybil already thinks I’m a Warden, Anders, she won’t know the difference,” he replied

“Oh… right, I forgot about that,” he said, “just pretend like everything is the same then.”

Shaking my head at their banter, I took up the rear and followed them all out of the deep roads, Solona’s words heavy on my mind, “you gave us all up.”

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48709433213/in/dateposted-public/) [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/181858508@N06/48709374938/in/dateposted-public/)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture of Sybil is from DA2, her hair is so short :)  
> Anders' picture is also from DA2 
> 
> and Solona from Origins


	70. Sing Me to Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya, Sera and Solas partake in some after dark fun.

* * *

We had left Skyhold a large progression once again, I really didn’t like traveling with a huge group. I felt trapped, like a caged bird and it made me anxious. “Shall we sneak away?” Solas asked, sliding his mount alongside mine. “I wish,” I replied. rolling my eyes at that unlikely scenario. He just gave me a mischievous smile and moved up to where Rylen led our soldiers.

Of my usual companions, I brought only Solas and Sera with me. Viv, and Varric stayed at Skyhold, neither of them liking the idea of taking on a battlefield. Dorian was the one asked to ‘man the troops,’ an odd choice, but one I left to Lei and Rylen.

Dorian was completely ecstatic about the idea, “Worry not my love, I will have these boys, rippling men, by the time you return,” he had said at my puzzled look. Now that I think back, he and Rylen have been spending a lot of time together. My eyes drifted to the red-haired Commander with the unplaceable accent, maybe they are involved.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Sera’s voice came from next to me. I laughed and felt my face warm up a tad. “Aye, yer thinking dirty thoughts ain’t you Inky?” she giggled and jumped from her mare to the back of mine, leaning in to whisper in my ear, “I was under the table in the Heralds Rest and I saw them touching each others..” she made a gesture between her legs and I busted out laughing, causing the soldiers around me to look toward us puzzled.

“What about Bull?” I asked her, “did he see?” Her smile spread across her entire face… “You know how Bull feels about red heads,” she said sliding her fingers together in a suggestive way.

Solas road back to our side then, “Alright we are free,” he said eyeing Sera and I together precariously. “What do you mean?” Sera asked

“I told Rylen you felt rifts in the area and wanted to close them,” he said with a shrug

“And that worked?” I asked a little confused, it seemed too easy

“Elfey magic,” Sera shuddered

“Well he first said he’d wait, but I emphasized the importance of time, how we’d will travel more quickly on our own and meet them at Griffon Wing Keep.”

“Thank the Maker,” I said giving a nod of gratitude to Rylen and turning my mare away from the troop.

“Your horse?” Solas asked, eyebrow raised to Sera.

“No, I like this spot much more,” she squeezed my waste tightly, which caused me to giggle.

“My horse doesn’t make such cute sounds and smells like arse,” she said, taking a deep breath in.

Solas just shook his head and off we headed toward the Emerald Graves.

* * *

  **Cullen______________**

It was early morning; the light hadn’t yet made its way into the small canyon Fairbanks and his people called home. I awoke early and started a fire for breakfast. It felt nice to be able to move around and see again. The tonic Fairbanks had given me helped with the delusions, but the cravings and headaches still came and went. Today was a good day… so far.

I heard movement behind me, turned to see Clara’s bright smile. She had been the one tasked with ‘tending’ to me and we had grown close. She sat next to me, resting her head on my shoulder, “good morning,” she said through a yawn.

She had a tragic story; her husband and daughter were killed when soldiers attacked their farm during the War of the Lions. She was taken in by Fairbanks, along with many other refugees from the Civil War. It was a sad truth and a realty check for me, as the Inquisition’s Commander. I wondered how many innocents have fallen, indirectly, due to our choices and actions. We say we are fighting ‘for the people’ but do the people feel like we are?

We had found comfort sharing our trauma, loneliness, and bodies with each other. “I’m going to grab some meat from the smoker,” I told her.

“Hurry back,” she said, “It’s cold when you’re gone.”

The quiet morning was interrupted by pounding hooves and one of Fairbank’s scouts calling out between breaths, “Fairbanks! Ser! The Freeman… their encampment has been cleared out!”

“Cleared out… as in they are all dead?” Fairbanks asked as he climbed from his tent.

“Yes Sir! Some small groups are still about, but their base and their leader, dead… looked like mages by the state of the corpses,” he confirmed

“Any banner?” I asked, my heart jumping at the thought that it could be Arya.

“No Ser, no trace of the ones behind it, outside of the corpses, not even shoe prints. And none of our scouts saw it happen, yesterday it was full and by this morning… cleared out.”

How could you miss mages casting spells of that velocity… in the dark, I thought to myself, Fairbanks needs better scouts.

“May I go check it out?” I turned quickly to Fairbanks, “I may see something the scouts missed.”

Fairbanks nodded; he knew what I was saying.

“Cullen... are you sure you’re ready to go… what if you come across the ones who did it… what if you...?” Clara’s voice was worried.

“Clara, this man is a soldier, he is meant to fight,” Fairbanks answered her, and tossed me my sword.

Her eyes were sad, she didn’t want me to go but I couldn’t stay here and play refugee forever.

“Clara,” I said, moving her white blond hair behind her ear, “I will always be a soldier, I cannot give you what you seek. Remember how I told you my dad wanted me to be a farmer and the thought was like hell to me… that’s why I joined the Templars. That is not the life for me, but it is for you. You will get your farm back and start anew, but it will not be with me at your side.”

She covered my hand with her smaller one and nodded, her light blue eyes welled with tears, but she let me leave without another word.

* * *

  **Arya___________**

We had been making our way through the Emerald Graves, but it was hard to get very far with the constant attacks from the Freeman of the Dales.

“Uh these bastards are annoying,” Sera called out, pulling her arrows from the most recent group we killed.

I was bent over one of the corpses, looting for lyrium, we hadn’t brought any supplies with us and I was feeling a little drained. In a pocket was a small map, with an X on it. I handed it to Solas, “Can you make out where this is? If it’s a camp, they may have supplies?” I asked him.

He looked at the parchment and then around the area, he seemed very familiar with the forest, but his overall demeanor was sad, almost as if he remembered this place, before time had had its way with it. As I watched him pin down the location the map mentioned, I had a knowing feeling that we was much older then he claimed… or didn’t claim, as he has never hinted at his age.

Sera found one of the many huge wolf statues and was leaning against it, restringing her bow. “What’s up with the wolf?” I asked her, not really expecting her to know the answer

“Some elfy shite, Fen’Harel, one of their Gods. Story says Fen’Harel, betrayed the other Gods and trapped them all in some magic sleep. Now they use the ‘dread wolf’ to scare little elf children into obedience or to curse baddies, ‘may the dread wolf catch your scent,’” she said, voice mocking

Huh Fen’Harel, where had I heard that name before? Maybe I’ll ask Solas about it, he is more up on “elfy shite” then Sera, after all.

* * *

The X marked the spot of the Freeman’s base. It was almost dark as we approached the sprawling encampment. Fires were lit and we could hear singing, they were surely enjoying themselves. “Once they fall asleep, we will have a better chance of taking them out, we are outnumbered,” Solas said.

“Piss… wake me up when you want me to stick something with an arrow,” Sera said, curling up with a bedroll and laying her head on my lap.

“I’ll go find something for us to eat,” Solas said with a chuckle, “No light… let’s not make them aware of our presence.”

I nodded and leaned against the tree at my back, a nap sounded good.

* * *

 Not sure how long we slept but when I opened my eyes it was completely dark, the sky above was sprinkled with stars but the moons were dark this night. I heard soft footfalls and knew it was Solas. He handed me a small piece of jerky and some type of berry. Sera was twitching in her sleep, “what do you think she dreams about?” I whispered. Solas chuckled, “I could check if you’d like… although I fear what I find would be troubling.”

“We should attack now, most of them are asleep, there are two guards posted at the entrance, but they have been drinking,” he added

I roused Sera, “you ready to kill shit?” I asked her

“Always, looking to end some scum,” she said with a sleepy voice.

Solas handed her the same jerky and berries he had given me, which she ate through complaints of it being, “weird arse elf food.”

A few minutes later, Sera used one of her bee bombs to distract the two guards on patrol, as they were dancing around trying to stomp on the buzzing creatures, we snuck, unseen into the camp. I tossed a dagger to Solas and we wordlessly went about slitting throats, any sounds made by the Freeman were muffled by the sound barrier, Solas held around us.

It was serene, how we slipped from room to room without being noticed. Leliana would be so proud! Once everyone was taken care of, we burnt the bodies and looted their supply for food, drink, lyrium and elfroot potions.

It was still dark as Solas led us to one of the many ruins scattered about. Inside, we lit a fire and enjoyed the fruits of our labor. Sera went straight for the brew, and within 30 minutes she was snoring away.

I stared at the fire, still no sign of Cullen, we had been taking our time in the forest… I was hoping we’d see something the others missed. I missed Alistair, but I knew he was at least safe at the Keep and with our people. Movement next to me pulled my attention to Solas, he was also staring into the flames. “I’m really glad you returned, Solas,” I smiled at him. “Yes, well, you and I are connected Arya, I cannot abandon you so easily,” he said

I looked down at the mark on my hand, “If we weren’t connected, would you still be here?” I asked

“Considering the events leading to you getting that mark... if they hadn’t transpired… I’m sure we would all be in very different places,” he answered, pulling me closer to him. “Rest vhenan,” he whispered laying my head against his shoulder.

“Solas… what does vhenan mean?”

He tensed but only momentarily, before he positioned himself to look in my eyes. In the light from the fire I saw that vulnerability again, like when he took me to Haven. He parted his lips and placed his hand against my chest… “it means, my heart,” he said.

I reached up, placing my hand above his heart, the mark sputtered to life when it touched his bare flesh. “You and I, we are connected Arya, your life is tied to mine and my life to yours. The mark you bare, it comes from an elvhen foci, used by ancient elves to enhance their power, my foci Arya, the orb belonged to me a millennia ago, when my people lived forever, in a world far different from the one we are in today.”

My eyes trailed down to the wolf jawbone he wore around his neck. My fingers traced the smoothness of it and suddenly I remembered… Fen’Harel that’s what the spirits had called him… “Fen’Harel” I mouthed the word and Solas froze. “what did you say?” he asked, almost angry…

“The spirits, they called you Fen’Harel,” I pointed to the wolf statue in the corner of the ruin… “is that who you are?” as the question fell from my lips something changed in the air around us.

My eyes shot up to the face of my friend, but he looked different, around us, the ruin transformed into a sparkling temple. “Let me tell you a story,” Solas said, but his voice sounded like a song and I dozed off listening to its melody.

 

  



	71. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because.... well feelings....

* * *

When I woke up, the fire had smoldered away, and a chill had set in about us. I pushed flames back into it, reigniting the coals within. Sera and Solas still slept but I had an urge to go for a walk. After placing a few logs on the fire, I covered myself with Solas’ cloak, it held the dual purpose of keeping the chill at bay and hiding my identity from any possible travelers I may encounter.  

I slipped out of the ruin and into the morning light. A low fog had settled over the forest but blue sky above promised a warm day to come. The sunlight filtered through the fog and stillness of the morning; it was surreal.

After walking with no direction in mind, I came to a familiar clearing. The Freeman’s encampment stood in the middle of it. I was about to turn away when I heard the familiar sound of a horse snorting. Deciding to take a closer look, in case we didn’t get them all before. I slipped into fade step and made my way to the entrance. Just within it stood a light-colored mare, tied to the stables. The mare wore tack without a faction or banner, but it was well loved. The horse turned toward me, sensing my approach and let out a small whinny.

I sent a burst of my necromancy forth, trying to find the person belonging to the horse. The purple light flew outward from me and highlighted a warm body across the other side of the large encampment. Deciding that the person was far enough away, I stepped from my stealth and pulled some roots from my pack.  Stepping in front of the horse I held them forth, “shh… it’s okay girl,” I whispered to the large animal, aiming to calm her.

That’s when I heard the familiar sound of a blade being unsheathed, followed by cold steel at my back. “You smell like death magic Mage, are you the one responsible for this slaughter?” the person at my back spat angrily.

**Cullen___________**

It was still morning when I broke into the clearing that held the Freemen’s encampment. I traveled alone, upon a mare Fairbanks had lent me, “Make sure she makes her way back to me,’ he had said, patting the blonde mare on the rear.

From outside, the camp was still, with no hint that it had ever been full of men. Once inside, however, the carnage was blatant. Bodies laid, nestled in their beds or sprawled out by cold fire pits. Some were burnt but others rested in a pool of their own blood, whomever did this, slit their throats while they slept. I felt bad for the sods, to be snuffed out so easily. The culprit must have been very powerful, as they left no trace. This couldn’t have been Arya, it wasn’t her style, this was more like something Leliana would do.

I tied the mare to the stable shed and made my way through the many rooms of the encampment, some held supplies, others were empty. Towards the back of the fort, was a locked door, I wasn’t great at picking locks, so I took my sword to it. The door splintered easily, allowing me access. It was an office of sorts. A desk sat in one corner and a shelf full of ledgers and messages. I browsed through, looking for something useful. It turns out the Freemen of the Dales were deserters from the Orlesian army, tired of fighting a battle that wasn’t theirs, they vowed to destroy Orlais and the Inquisition, and take the Dales as their own independent land. It seemed odd that soldiers would desert because they felt the war was unjust, to then simply turn around and kill of their own accord. It smelled like Corypheus’ work, if only I could find proof.

It was then, as I was rifling through messages looking for some hint of Venatori or Corypheus that I felt it… a small spark… magic being used close by. I paused waiting to sense it again, but it didn’t come. After a few moments, I cracked open a locked chest and found more letters, these ones were signed by Samson… exactly what I need.

I stuffed the letters into my pack, when I was hit by the rancid smell of dark magic. The wave spilled across the entire encampment, covering me in its filth. I grabbed the last few things that looked important before quietly making my way back to the entrance.

There, by my horse, stood the source of the magic, the Mage was petite is stature, most likely female. She stood with her back to me, poor judgment on her part. She wore a long dark green cloak, it covered her from head to toe, blocking my line of sight. Not wanting to take any chances, just in case she was the one behind this, I drew my blade and placed it against her back. She froze and raised her gloved hands skyward.

**Arya_________**

I wasn’t sure what to do other than raising my hands in slight surrender. My responsibilities flashed through my mind; the Inquisitor taken out by a bandit in the Emerald Graves… Was that to be my ending? Varric would be so disappointed. All the possible things to say spun through my head like a story,

“I mean you no harm,”

“I’m the Inquisitor,”

“I’m unarmed,”

“I demand you lower your weapon,”

None of them worked, they were either not true or not helpful, since the Freemen have pitted themselves against Orlais and the Inquisition, identifying myself would not work, and I am most definitely armed.

Above me I heard a rustle, the breeze had picked up and what it carried on it, was both delicious and unbearably lucky… Elderflower and Oakmoss… Cullen’s scent.

My heart skipped a beat, I wanted to turn around and jump into his arms, but I didn’t want to get a sword through my back.

“Cullen?” I questioned, voice soft and a little shakier than I expected

Nothing…

“Cullen… it’s Arya, put the sword down please?”

Nothing…. but I heard his breathing catch

I couldn’t wait any longer, whatever he had been suffering through, he needed me, so I dropped quickly to the ground and rolled around behind him. He didn’t move, just stood staring at the spot I had been standing in, sword still drawn. I dropped the cloak to the ground and carefully stepped up next to him, reaching along his arm to the hilt he had a death grip on. “Cullen, it’s me… everything in okay now… drop you weapon and look at me... please,” I begged.

His head turned slowly in my direction, golden eyes rimmed with red met mine and his sword clattered to the ground. He fell into me then, knocking me down but I didn’t care, I held his broad frame in the circle of my arms, and he started to sob, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he repeated over and over again.

I glided my hands over his back waiting for his body to calm, cooing in his ear, “it’s okay, Cullen, I’m okay, everything is okay, I’ve got you, I forgive you, I love you.” 

The strength of my feelings for the man in my arms was overwhelming, “I forgive you; I will always forgive you,” I told him over and over.

* * *

  **Sybil__________**

Relief flooded through me when the Warden’s came into view from my perch on the battlements. They had been gone longer then expected, I was beginning to worry.

Blackwall stood strong and proud at the head of the little group. The red headed dwarf and Anders were playfully darting back and forth across the sand, as if they were chasing something. Solona and Alistair walked shoulder-to-shoulder sharing a conversation, from the looks of it, quietly between them. The other dwarf, Sigrun, took up the rear of the party, her eyes following the others and a content smile on her face.

Seeing them all together brought up an odd feeling of rightness. There was a comradery sitting between them all, a connection that no outsider could penetrate. Has that always been there? It seems odd that I would miss something so utterly tangible.

Once they were close, Blackwall’s gaze lifted, meeting my eyes, his smile grew even brighter and he waved excitedly at me. Leaping down from my perch, I landed next to him. He pulled me into his arms, his joy was contagious and had me giggling like a schoolgirl. “Shall we go somewhere private?” he whispered, “All that fighting has my sword in need of some oil.” The line spilled from his lips smoothly and I was rolling, “You’ve been spending too much time with Alistair,” I told him with a nudge to the hip.

“What? What I’d do now?” Alistair’s voice called out over the courtyard chatter.

**Alistair________**

The Keep had grown eerily silent, in the wee hours of the morning as everyone slept. The fires, nothing but smoldering coals, sending forth warmth but little else. The troops from Skyhold had arrived earlier but Arya was not with them. According to Rylen, she and the elves had taken off as they crossed the Dales, rifts to close, he said. Humph rifts, my royal Ferelden arse. She went to find Cullen, that was clear as the stars flickering in the sky.

Anger, I was feeling angry, how careless of her to wonder off without protection, does she not care what would happen if she were killed. Not-to-mention, we are about to march into war, does she want us to do so without her? Cassandra and Sybil will not hold off much longer, and they shouldn’t, we cannot risk losing this opportunity. I tossed the stick I was twiddling between my fingers at the fire I sat beside.

“Afraid for your darling Inquisitor,” Solona’s voice came from behind me… fuck, not the best timing.

“What do you want?” I asked coldly, I was still angry with her about risking Blackwall as she did. And how did she even know how to do the joining? 

“You are so adorable when you brood, seeing you out here… brooding, it reminded me of old times,” her voice was sweetly condescending, “Tell me Alistair, what are your really mad about? Dig deep, what has your panties in a knot?”

She has always been intuitive, Solona has, able to read people like a book. I knew what she was hinting at, the thought was in my head twirling around.

“She is choosing Cullen over her duty, she should be here, we could be marching at dawn but instead she is out there, who knows where, chasing the shadow of man. She should be here, with us… with me…” it flew from my mouth, no point in hiding it, Solona already knew.

“Would you not do the same if the roles were reversed?” she asked, “If Arya was missing, would you march forth or would you go find her?”

“In duty… sacrifice...” I answered

“Ah but the Inquisitor is not a Warden, she has not taken the same vow,” she turned my face to look into her sapphire eyes, “she has not because she is not one of us Alistair.”

Solona lean in, our lips almost touching, “She is but a woman, and she will do everything she can to find him… you know how I know this Ali? I know this because, I was once like her, I loved a man and I would have done anything, given up everything, to insure his safety, to insure he lived another day… even if it meant, in the end, I’d have to give him up as well.”

Her words were laden with emotion, and her eyes held truth, the woman she once was, did just that, she aimed to sacrifice herself, so I could live and it would have happened, if I had not fallen prey to Morrigan’s lies. My hands found her face, her skin was soft, warm and felt as it had before. Her eyes held love, as they had before and for a moment a different future passed behind my eyes. That moment was all she needed, she closed the distance between us, lips hungry, begging for me to taste. And taste I did, as I’m sure Arya will do, when she finds her Commander.

 

  
  



	72. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Griffon Wing Keep is becoming quiet the hub of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 01/02/20: UPDATE NOTE: Added a little more to this chapter, looking a little deeper a Solona, and her thoughts about the conversation with Arya.  
> Long chapter with lots on small things, as the group prepares for battle.

* * *

**Solona________**

It was pure luck that I caught Alistair as I did, his resolve is usually so much more intact. Nonetheless, we shared a lovely night together by the fire, just as we had all those years ago. I didn’t lie to him, my words were true, at one time, I did do exactly what Arya is doing. Exactly what Wynne had warned us about. I was a different person then, young, naïve and weak… just as the Inquisitor is today… a pity that the men who crossed my paths a decade ago are still lost, still trying to live as they did then, they have not grown as people. Only Anders has embraced growth and change as I have, and although I toy around with these boys… he is the one my future holds.

On this morning, Anders has taken off with the morning scouting patrol, I helped Blackwall tend to breakfast for the Keep. Alistair was in the command tent with Cassandra and Sybil, planning our next move. Perhaps that is one area of growth on Ali’s part, he no longer shys away from leading. 

Hooves pounding in the distance alerted me to the patrols return. They must have news; at the rate they are running. I hope that the Inquisitor has put on her big-girl smalls and decided to save the world. I may not like the girl, but I do like this world and do not wish it to be destroyed by an evil darkspawn-turned-God. Just the thought sent shivers through me.

“The Inquisitor is here!” they called, “and she has the Commander and an army of refugees with her.”

Anders came up beside me, “found her,” he said raising his eyebrows and brushing his shoulders pridefully, “Between that mark on her hand at that bald elf she travels with, they’re like a glowy fade beacon, Justice sniffed them out easy.”

“And Cullen?” I asked

“He was with them, along with some refuges led by one called Fairbanks, they’re traveling with us now, joining the cause, some can fight, others are farmers, cooks, tradesmen.”

“They all just flock to her, don’t they?” I asked without really expecting an answer, “what draws them all?”

His eyes turned solemn, “Perhaps someone once asked the same question about you?”

_______________________________---------------------------

**Arya________**

The trek from Watcher’s Reach to the Western Approach was arduous, especially with the host of refugees we had acquired. Cullen didn’t speak much but whenever our eyes met, he gave me a warm smile.

Fairbanks is an interesting sort, Orlesian but protecting those displaced due to the Civil War. Commendable. He seemed a decent man, like Blackwall, almost too good.

One of the refugees, Clara, mentioned that she thought he was nobility, one who used his ties to take from the rich and give to the poor, but she had no proof. She also gave me a weird look every once in awhile, when she didn’t think I was looking, not sure if I can trust her. In reality though, noble or not, he helped Cullen and was now helping the Inquisition.

“Fairbanks,” I pulled my horse aside his, “I want you to know, I appreciate that you have decided to join our cause and thank you for helping Cullen.”

He gave me a genuine smile, “the Commander cares deeply for you Inquisitor, for weeks he spoke of you through his delusions. His guilt for betraying you, weighs heavily on him. He is in love with you, not just regular love but something deeper, stronger, a love I have seen very rarely.”

“What do you mean?” I asked

“His love is true, not possessive or selfish. The kind of love that would let you go, if it was the best thing for you. But, Inquisitor, who should be the one to make that choice… you or him?”

“Food for thought Sir,” I told him

**Cullen______**

That moment in the Freeman camp, when she wrapped her arms around me was all I could think about. Her warm skin, the smell of her hair, her soft voice ‘I love you’ she had said.

After everything I did, she didn’t shy away from my touch, she embraced it. She forgave me…. I had a tough time understanding it. I bounced back and forth between anger and awe, she shouldn’t forgive me, she shouldn’t be so understanding, but yet she is, and has been, despite all my flaws, she still stands beside me. She shouldn’t, it is not healthy for her, I am not worthy. I will just hurt her again and again until… eventually she isn’t able to come back from it.

The thought sat low in my gut, heavy and unwanted but there, nonetheless. I wish I knew what to do. Should I pursue the feelings I know we hold for each other? Should I step back and allow those she has for another to grow. I know she has feelings, perhaps even loves Alistair. Is he better though? He is a Warden after all, his destiny will come for him soon and where would that leave her? Ruling Ferelden alone or would she follow him into the depths of the Deep Roads when his time came?

She was looking at me curiously, wondering the reason for my silence I am sure. Maker please tell me what to do.

\----------_______-------________---------

In the vastness of the wastelands, Griffon Wing Keep was easy to spot. My banners flew about above the fortress, carts carrying people and goods sat out front. It looked a fully functioning town, much different then it did the last time I saw it.

“Last one to the gate is a rotten druffolo,” Sera called to me, before kneeing her horse and taking off across the sad.

Excitement bubbled forth, I had found Cullen and Alistair was waiting for me just inside the Keep.

A laugh erupted from me as I casted haste and jutted out ahead of Sera with ease….

“Hey Inky you’re a cheater!!” she yelled at me, so I sent a small version of the spell her way… she was going to be pissed

“What the SHITE!” she yelled, as the spell hit her

“Evening the odds,” I yelled back

**Alistair_____**

She came at the Keep at lightning speed, was she racing someone? I thought before I heard Sera’s yell, “cheater!”

I hid just inside the entrance ready to jump her just as she crossed it. I planned to be angry with her but that all faded away, as soon as I saw her crossing the sand.

She slowed the mare’s pace as she got to the gate, the people congregating outside all took a knee, “Your Worship,” they said in unison. She gave them each a nod as she passed, which had her perfectly distracted.

I jumped from the ledge I hid upon, knocking her from the horse, we hit the ground at a roll, not wanting to actually hurt her, ending in the middle of the crowd me on top and her breathless. “I’ve missed you,” I told her, before finding her lips with mine. She tasted sweet. Her arms immediately pulled me closer, fingers twining in my hair. The people around us started clapping at our display. “Hail the King and Queen of Ferelden,” a man’s voice called out above the rest, causing me to look up. It was the mercenary troop leader Arya recruited at the Winter Palace. How’d he know? I thought, note to self, ask him about it later.

Arya was giggling beneath me, “I’ve missed you, too” she said breathlessly, “but I can’t breathe, perhaps you should cut back on the cheese?” she teased

“My Lady, I love you, but never will I give up the cheese,” I replied mockingly at her

She laughed and I rolled off her, offering my hand to help her to her feet.

Hand-in-hand, we walked through the entrance into the courtyard where all our people waited. Sybil ran up giving Arya a hug, Bull picked her up and tossed her into the air, like a doll, Blackwall gave a classic kiss on the hand, Cassandra even seemed excited.

Behind us, the crowd parted, another round of clapping and yelling, as Cullen road through, leading a troop of refugees.

**Arya________**

It felt nice to be welcomed by so many smiling faces. It seemed like an eternity since so many of my people were together in the same place. However, the celebrating would need to wait, we had a battle to plan.

Alistair took me to the command tent. There was a map of the area spread out on the table, most of the strategy had already been decided upon… we just needed to march.

“How long to get to Adamant from here?” I asked 

“Not far, it will take us about half a day with our siege equipment in tow,” Alistair said

Two sets of heavy boots came through the tent entrance at my back, Cassandra was filling Cullen in.

Cullen took his place across from me at the table, his eyes met mine.

“Are you ready?” I asked him

He nodded in agreement

“Alright, I say we send a regiment with the siege equipment to Adamant now, the rest of us will head there at daybreak,” I said moving the siege equipment pieces to the fortress on the map.

“The group sent will not be rested by tomorrow evening for the attack, if we ask them to travel through the night,” Cullen added

“we will not have surprise on our side,” Cassandra added

“They already know we ae coming,” Alistair said

“No reason to try for a surprise attack, we should approach expecting them to be prepared and ready to attack right away,’ Sybil added

“That being the case, I propose we all travel together at dawn,” Cullen replied moving the rest of the board pieces to Adamant.

Glances made their way around the table, “agreed” we all said

\---------_____________-----------------____________

**Arya_______**

Everyone left the command tent, heading off to make whatever preparations were needed. I found myself hungry and ended up at the small covered makeshift kitchen.

Solona was there, passing out food to the refugees and soldiers. I took a seat, and she handed me a plate

“Blackwall made lunch, he is surprisingly a good cook,” she said, taking a seat next to me.

“Who would have thought,” I said with a shrug, feeling a little awkward but also excited. I had yet to have a conversation with her, I had a lot of questions.

“Solona,” I started, “May I ask you some things?”

She turned curious blue eyes to me, “yes, as long as I can ask you some things as well,” she said

“deal,” I nodded

“When I was a little girl, I went to the Amell estate in Kirkwall and found a book in the library,” I pulled the leather-bound journal from my pack and slid it across the table to her, “was this your personal journal?”

She eyed the book, running her fingers along the engraving of S. Amell, on the cover. Her eyes turned distant and almost sad. 

“Yes,” she said quietly, “I knew that my tale would be told by bards and storytellers alike but I wanted an actual account of what happened, something that wasn’t embellished or changed for the masses, something true… so I wrote it myself and sent it to my mother. She must have given it to her cousin, she was a broken women, after her children were taken from her…. maybe it was too hard for her to read.”

“I grew up reading this, in front of the fireplace, your story, the adventure, the intrigue, the romance, it was my favorite!” I told her

“You are a Mage, what tower were you in and how did you manage to get to our family estate in Kirkwall?” she asked

I had agreed to answer her questions as well… “I wasn’t taken to a Circle, not at first, my parents sent me to Tevinter, when my powers manifested. I’d come home during the summer and travel with my family, but I was trained in the Imperium.”

“But your people say you came from the Ostwick Circle?” She asked

“I did, but I was only there for a few years,” I answered

“Next question, Kinloch Hold… what happened there?” I asked

She sat up, her body tensing, “A lot happened there, what specifically do you want to know about?”

“Everything,” I told her

“Well, I was taken as a young child from my family and placed in Kinloch. Mom tried to hide me, as my older siblings had already been taken or killed, but the Templars caught up to us in Ferelden.

Everything was as one expects for a young Mage in a tower, I was taken care of, fed, clothed, sheltered and able to learn. It really wasn’t a bad life. Freedom was never something I thought much about. Unlike Anders, who constantly tried running away.” she said with a giggle.

“Anders was at Kinloch with you?” I probed

“Yes, he was older and already passed his Harrowing, but he was always escaping and getting caught. He was dangerous and a lot of the apprentices had a huge crush on him.”

“Did you?” I asked

“He was certainly attractive and mysterious, but he didn’t pay attention to us apprentices. I actually had a thing for another apprentice, Jowan, when I was brought in, he was the one who helped me transition into life at the Circle. We grew up together, as best friends and he always had a place in my heart but as we grew things changed. I became more and more into my studies and he became more and more distant. I was always more into studying than boys… that is until a certain Templar recruit was stationed at Kinloch.”

“What was your Circle like? She asked

“Ostwick was fair, or so it seems, from the stories I’ve heard. Our Grand Enchanter and Knight Captain worked well together. When the Circle’s started to fall, Ostwick weathered the storm, it was people from the outside who wiped us out,” I said

“Did you never do a Harrowing, if you were only there for a couple years?” she asked 

“I did, I came to the Circle with more training then those who had been there their entire life. The First Enchanter rushed my Harrowing and gave me a place as her second, within my first couple years being there. It was a chaotic time and many newly founded mages had nowhere to go.”

“Interesting,” she said

“I’m assuming that the Templar recruit was Cullen?” I asked

“Yes, he was so young and bashful, I found my eyes drawn his way more than what was considered acceptable,” she said coyly, “Has Cullen ever told you about he and I?” she asked

“Yes, he said you fell in love and spent a few years together in secret until something happened and you were conscripted into the Warden’s,” I told her

“Yes, well, our Grand Enchanter and Knight Captain were not nice people. They used our feelings as a tool, to keep us inline. They had Cullen act as the “Sword of Mercy” for my Harrowing and threatened to send him to Aeonar if I didn’t follow instructions. Grand Enchanter Irvin told me to follow Jowan, and his chantry initiate girlfriend, on an escape attempt. Setting them up to get caught. I didn’t want to betray my friend, but I had too or they’d use our relationship to condemn Cullen.

So, I did, I betrayed Jowan and Lily, causing Jowan to resort to blood magic to escape and Lily got sent to Aeonar for breaking her vows. That’s how I was conscripted, Knight Captain Gregor thought I was in danger of consorting with a blood mage, he was going to have me made tranquil, but Duncan stepped in and conscripted me instead. When I left Kinloch, I fully intended to return after the Blight and live out the rest of my days with Cullen, I never wanted to do anything except that. Freedom was nothing, without him at my side.”

“What were the Templars like at Ostwick?” she asked

“Most were nice or went about their time not paying us much attention. My friend Lila had a crush on one of the recruits, but he was relocated before it became anything. I had a similar experience as you actually, Meric, a Templar who I shared a secret relationship with for a few years.”

“What happened to him?” she asked

“Well, he fights for the other side now,” I told her

“You mean… the Red Templars?” she clarified, and I nodded

“What about when you went back, during the Blight?” I asked her

“Well, blood mages had taken over the tower, they tortured and killed all the Templars inside, except Cullen. He was a mess, delirious and broken. He said a lot of hurtful things to me and I took them to heart, at that point, I didn’t understand the entirety of his ordeal. So, I hardened myself against him, told myself the Cullen I knew was long dead. That’s when I became a Warden, for real, gave up the life I had before and devoted myself to my duty.”

“Now it’s my turn again,” she said, “Do you love them?”

I paused, I knew she meant Cullen and Alistair, did I love them truly, both of them….

“Yes, I believe I do love them both,” I told her

“Equally? Or do you care more for one?” she probed

“If I knew the answer to that question, I’d tell you, however, I don’t. I care deeply for both of them, I can see myself in a future with both of them. And I honestly don’t know what the correct path is, at this point.” I answered

He sapphire eyes were curious but somehow held understanding. “I am intimately familiar with that choice,” she said, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have hungry mouths to feed. Shall we continue this another time, Inquisitor?”

With that she handed me the leather-bound book and went back to cooking. I still had so many questions, I guess next time it will have to be.

\------______-------_______

The traveling had taken a toll on my energy and I was ready for rest, even though the sun hadn’t completely set. Twas the night before battle and I found myself snuggled next to Alistair. His skin was warm, chasing away the chill that comes with a desert at night and his touch brought flames to my core.

“Alistair,” I asked, before our closeness became more physical, “Tell me about Morrigan?”

“What?” he asked surprised, “Why?”

“Well, I met her,” I started but he interrupted jumping to a sitting position

“What do you mean?” he asked

“She was at the Winter Palace, Emperor Gaspard has made her Liaison to the Inquisition, she and her son are staying at Skyhold.”

“Her son….” his words trailed off

“Yes, Kieran,” I replied, “You know him?”

“No… well… what’s he like?” his eyes turned curious

“Like any other 10-year-old boy, I suppose,” I answered

“10 years huh….” His eyes went distant

“Ali, what are you not telling me… you know I can just go ask Morrigan or Leliana or Solona for Makers sake…” I started, frustration in my voice, “I want to trust you but, I can tell you aren’t being entirely…….”

“He is mine,” his voice raised over my own

“What?” I asked

“Kieran, is my son,” he repeated

“How...?” I stammered and Alistair laughed

“Well when a man and a woman are in love…” he began

“Alistair….” I used my warning tone

“Right… sorry,” he said, “you remember how I told you Morrigan did a spell that saved Solona from dying when the archdemon was slain?”

I nodded, “yes.”

“Well the ritual was, I sleep with her, resulting in a child and when the archdemon is killed, it’s soul would seek out the child within her, replacing the child’s soul with that of an Old God, thus killing the archdemon but not the Warden who landed the killing blow.”

“What is Kieran then?” I asked….

“You’ll have to aske Morrigan that one,” he replied

“You and Solona agreed to this ritual, without knowing the full extent of what it meant?” I asked, disbelieving.

“No actually, Solona refused and didn’t even tell me the ritual was an option. Morrigan came to me wearing Solona’s form and did the ritual without us knowing, it wasn’t until neither of us died, that we realized what had happened,” he explained

“Wearing Solona’s form?” I asked

“Ah, our clever witch has not shared her powers with you then…. Morrigan is a shapeshifter, a mighty skilled one at that, she can take the form of any creature. And well enough… that I couldn’t tell it wasn’t Solona… down to the voice and mannerisms.” His eyes dropped, he felt guilty for not knowing.

“Is that why you two broke up?” I asked

“Part of it,” he started, “I was mad that she chose not to tell me there was a way to save us, I was mad that she was willing to sacrifice herself. She took my choice from me and I felt betrayed. That mixed with my guilt over not realizing the woman in my bed was someone other than her. We fought and she left… I don’t know if we would have been able to work through it… perhaps… but that chance left when she took off to Amaranthine.”

“So, Kieran is your son, will you meet him now that you know?” I asked and he was quiet.

“You will put him through the same pain you endeared?” I asked

“Morrigan, wanted us to have nothing to do with each other… perhaps she feels differently now. Once we return, I will talk to her about it. Now can we move on to the steamy bits….” he asked, as he slid his skillful fingers along my breasts, down my stomach and to moist spot below.

“Oh course… but thank you for being honest,” I told him.

**Solona_________________**

Outside of my tent the Keep was quiet, but the silence held weight and tension. It was the night before we went to battle. Some of us would die tomorrow, some would lose a loved one, others would be wounded- their life changing forever.

The silence held all the “what ifs” both focused on hope and on despair. Next to me, Anders was softly snoring, his golden hair had come loose from his ponytail and framed his head like a crown.

I wondered, inside was he Anders or was he Justice, traveling the fade, looking to fill the hole that was ever growing inside of him? The more Justice took over the more lost he became… spirits are not meant to be confined to a mortal body… he is drawn to things of the fade, drawn to the spirits and the essence of it all. Justice feels the loss of his ethereal self and Anders’ mortal form cannot fill that, so Justice becomes corrupted in a way.

Sliding from the bedroll, I threw on my robe and stepped out into the desert night. The air was cool but not cold, a few fires dotted the courtyard but had been left to smolder in the darkness.

I took a seat next to one, mug of ale in my hand. I kept thinking back to the conversation with the Inquisitor. Part of me even felt bad for judging her so harshly. There are a lot of parallels between us. That talk had me reminiscing to the start of my journey, I was young and innocent, just like her. The world was tossed at my feet and I had to figure out how to pick it all up and reassemble it. Thankfully, I had Alistair, and our other companions to help me stay strong through it all. She is really in the same place… isn’t she?

Movement behind me caused me to turn, the low light reflected off of Cullen’s golden eyes, Maker he was so beautiful, he was cute before, but now… beautiful was the only word I could think of. I smiled and he returned it, “May I?” he questioned, motioning to the empty stool next to mine. He took his seat and let out a long sigh, “Solona… I’m… I’m sorry for what happened… I should have told you I wasn’t taking lyrium.”

“Cullen, I shouldn’t have assumed, I should have asked permission before doing what I did. You are not at fault,” I said laying my hand on his arm.

He ran his other hand through his hair, anxious habit that has stayed with him all these years. “What is it?” I asked.

“I… well I…. want you to know that although I am thankful you no longer hate me, I don’t think we should pursue a relationship,” he said turning bashful eyes at me.

He was so stinking adorable. “I understand Cullen, you are in love with the Inquisitor.”

His face looked surprised, “how’d you know?”

“Well it’s obvious in every glance you give her… you and Alistair are both smitten with the girl. Does she feel the same way?” I probed, “I know she cares for you both but whom would she choose, if the choice was in front of her?”

He ran his hand along the back of his neck again…. “I don’t honestly know,” he replied, “what do you think, you’ve... uh... been faced with the same choice?”

**Cullen______________**

She turned intense, almost angry, sapphire eyes on me. I immediately regretted my question. Sometimes my glibness, surprises even me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… “

“You sent me away Cullen, you told me that what we had was nothing but a sickness, you told me you didn’t love me… no actually, you told me you couldn’t love me because I was less than nothing, that I didn’t deserve to exist.”

Her beautiful eyes turned sad; a broken girl looked at me through the cracks in her mask. Through the blur of my own memories, I remembered that same look, the one she gave me when I ripped her heart from her chest and stomped on it, all those years ago. The moment her youthful innocence fled.

“You made that choice for me, I didn’t make it myself,” was all she said, before excusing herself to the darkness.

 


	73. Adamant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight for Adamant! Arya and her people go up against the Wardens... who will prevail after it is all said and done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YIKES! I've been dreading writhing this part for soo long... I'm just torn about how I want it to end.... Also life just got a little hectic lately so not as much time for writing. Nonetheless, here is Adamant part one :)

 

* * *

Our army was congregated below the walls of the ancient fortress. We were expected, based on the number of Wardens lining the battlements. But we had our siege equipment and an impressive force, even without the Orlesian's. Our Warden’s and Sybil went with the first wave, hoping to convince others to switch sides or at least stand down.

Once, the fortress was breached, myself, Cassandra, Solas and Sera made our way inside. Demons were everywhere, seems the ‘demon army’ was already a thing.

“Inquisitor?” Cullen came up behind us, he was sweaty from fighting, his sword dripped with blood and he had it smeared on his face, it was rather appealing.

“Alright, you have your way in, best make use of it,” he was saying, “we will keep the main host of demons occupied for as long as we can.”

“That’s a worrying lack of specificity there, Commander,” I questioned

“There are a few more than I was hoping,” he said with a chuckle, running his hand along the back of his neck, he was nervous. “There are too many of them on the walls, our people on the ladders can’t get a foothold, if you could clear the area for them, we can cover your advance,” he said

“Of course, Commander,” I replied turning to head up to the walls.

“Arya?” his voice was soft, but his hand griped my arm firmly, turning me to face him. His eyes were swimming with emotions when I met them, “Don’t die…. I just got you back and can’t… well… I mean… I… I love you,” he mumbled.

“I grabbed his hands, holding them in place and allowing my eyes to fill with confidence, “I will make it through this, we all will Cullen,” then I kissed his gloved hands and took off to the battlements.

* * *

Ashe, cinder and debris fell all around, it made me think of a heavy snow storm, except the ash was hot and seared skin when it made contact. Clashing of swords, the whizzing of arrows, our people were putting up quite the fight but still the demons had much less fear and the Warden’s… well they fought like their life depended on it… as far as they knew it did.

Winding our way up to the battlements we ousted a few demons, and came across a Warden who surrendered. “Some of us don’t want to fight,” he said, “If given a choice we would stand down.”

Acknowledging the Wardens plea, I sent out the instruction to leave them unharmed if they surrender. 

We found Sybil first, her double daggers flew so quick and silent… only the corpses piling at her feet spoke to how deadly she was.

“There are a lot of them,” she called wiping blood across her brow.

She was right, our people were having a hard time breaching the wall. The Warden’s had demons… we were outnumbered and losing ground. My mind was jumping around, looking for a solution, when it finally hit me.  We could fight back… with undead.

I knew my people wouldn’t like it, but their lives were worth more then their opinions, at the present moment.

Hearing the crackling of lightening behind me, I turned to see Solona and Anders, that’d help too.

“Like a fucking horde of darkspawn,” Solona called, “they just keep coming.”

Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath, it’d been awhile since I raised so many. Reaching deep inside, I found where my necromancy slept, it stretched, arching its back like a cat. Lila’s sea green eyes popped open, purple flames within, making them glow.

“Ready?” I asked her and she let out a laugh of sheer joy as I sent her forth… Purple light flowed across the ground like a low fog… my perspective… I saw Lila go to each of the corpses on the battlements, tapping them like a mother to her children... “wake up now… time to get up,” she said, voice sweet.

My vision took on the view of all those awakening, it was overwhelming seeing it all at once but within seconds they had complete focus on me, waiting for instruction.  Through their eyes I saw myself, dark hair floating in the power of all the death, my eyes burned purple. I looked like a crazy sorcerer and it was empowering, I’ll say.

“What the fuck!!” Sybil’s voice… scared

“No, no, no, that shite is just wrong,” this from Sera

A jingling laugh, bouncing off the walls… Solona’s laugh, I recognized it from the memory Solas shared with me all those month ago at Haven.

I told the dead who their enemy was, and they followed suit, grabbing the nearest weapon and turning on their own. As we headed deeper into the fortress, I heard the terrified screams of the Warden’s coming face to face with their dead comrades and it made me chuckle inside.

“That was probably one of the neatest things I’ve ever seen,” Anders said, patting me on the shoulder, “think you could teach me? Does it require blood magic?”

“No blood magic and, I suppose I could teach you, not sure how… Dorian knows more then I do… he’s the one who taught me,” I replied

“Ah the sexy Tevinter?” Anders questioned

“That’s the one,” I smiled

“I’d like him to teach me a little more than just necromancy,” Anders said blushing.

I stopped and looked the blonde mage up and down… I bet Dorian would love that opportunity.

“I’d be surprised if he’d protest the offer,” I said with a wink

“Arya! there you are,” Alistair came around a corner, pulling me into his arms, “I was worried… why do you smell like death?” he asked

“Ali, you should have checked your girl in action... she raised an army of undead to fight beside our people, it was amazing!!!” Anders said, very enthusiastically

“I… uh…… The Wardens are congregating at the top, they have a huge rift open… looks like they’re trying to pull a big baddy through… Clarel and that Magister, Erimond, are up there too… we gotta stop them,” he said gesturing up the next flight of stairs, breathless and sweaty.

* * *

 

“Wardens… we are betrayed by the very world we have sworn to protect,” Clarel was saying as we crested the top of the fortress

Erimond was next to her, they were arguing but I could make out what it was about.

An older man dressed in Warden garb stepped forth, Clarel spoke softly to him before stepping behind and slitting his throat, tossing his blood toward the rift causing it to shudder.

“Stop them!” Erimond yelled as we came into view, “we must complete the ritual!”

“Clarel, you complete that ritual and you are doing exactly what Erimond wants you to do,” Alistair yelled

“Right... fighting the Blight, keeping the world safe from darkspawn... who wouldn’t want that,” Erimond yelled back

“We make the sacrifices no one else will,” Clarel called in her support, “you of all people should understand that... you are one of us Alistair. Wardens sacrifice themselves for a world that will never thank them.”

“And what of the mages? Erimond binds them to Corypheus” I called forth

Surprise flashed across Clarel’s face, “Corypheus? But he is dead.”

Erimond stepped close to her, undoubtedly filling her with more lies.

She rubbed her forehead, in either exhaustion or disbelief.

“Bring it through!” she called out to the mages who surrounding the rift.

“Don’t do it!” I called, “they’re fooling you”

“You are my comrades… friends… I don’t want to kill you to end this madness,” Alistair added

“Continue the ritual Clarel, this demon will be truly worth it,” Erimond added

I stepped forward again, not sure if it’d matter… who am I to these people… a tyrant… an enemy

“The Grey Wardens have a proud history. You stopped the Blight at the Silent Plains, at Starkhaven, Hunter Fell, Aysleigh and Denerim. This world owes you a debt it can never repay. I would not stand against you if I did not know you were being misused.”

The Wardens all turned from me to Clarel… looking for guidance... who should they believe?

“Clarel, we have come so far… you’re the only one who can do this,” Erimond’s voice took on a tone akin to panic… he was anxious she’d switch sides.

“Perhaps we could test the truth of these charges?” she questioned, “to avoid further unnecessary bloodshed?”

Erimond’s face turned angry, his words spiteful, “or perhaps I should bring in a more reliable ally.”

Perfect... he was going to show his true colors all on his own.

“My Master thought you might come here Inquisitor… he sent me this to welcome you!” Erimond yelled out, his voice drained out by the screech of a dragon.

Gusts of wind and fire balls came flying toward us as the blighted beast of Corypheus’ sent it wraith upon us. Line after line of flame, destroying everything in its path from people to the very fortress itself.

Thankfully, that was all the proof Clarel needed. She immediately aimed her staff to Erimond, catching him completely off guard.

“Clarel.. wait!” he called to her, but it was too late she saw the deception for what it was

“Help the inquisitor,” she ordered to the Wardens, before taking off after Erimond.

I followed, he got away before, but I would not let him get away this time.

Up and up we went, the dragon at our heels the entire time. Clarel was standing over a badly beaten Erimond when we finally found her. Just before she landed the killing blow the dragon grabbed her in its jaws, did one loop before tossing her to the ground like spoiled meat. The beast stalked toward us, each step shaking the brittle walls of the fortress but it underestimated the Warden Commander… it thought she was dead but she was not… just as it passed over her prone form, she cast a bolt of electricity right into the beast's chest… it let out a howl and tumbled roughly off the side, taking the entire fortress down with it.

Beneath me the ground started to shake and rubble before it began to crumbled… I ran toward the safety of solid ground but wasn’t fast enough… around me my friends were pulled down with the rubble… the dust was heavy, I couldn’t see or breath and before I knew it I was falling… falling into darkness… this was it the end of my story… then the crackle of a nearby rift and bright green light flooding my senses…

  
  
  
  



	74. Faded Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya and her friends find themselves in the fade, some are more excited about it then others.

 

* * *

The intensity of the green light faded, clearing my vision to see the ground approaching at an alarming rate, I closed my eyes entirely expecting to collide with the hard ground, thus ending my story. My decent slowed, a few feet above the ground, my fingertips brushing the gravel, before falling over slowly, as if I had spent too much time in the tavern with Bull.

I staggered to a standing position, hearing Alistair’s groan from above me, I looked up to see him standing firmly on the ceiling… Sybil was to my left standing parallel to the ground….

“Maker,” I gasped, “What is going on?”

“Wow… this is unexpected,” Alistair added

“We… we were falling,” Sybil added, “If this is the afterlife, the Chantry owes me an apology… this looks NOTHING like the Makers bosom.”

“No,” Solas said excitedly, “this is the Fade. The Inquisitor opened a rift. We came through… and survived!! I never imagined I’d find myself here physically. Look… the Black City, almost close enough to touch.”

“This is incredible” I said, taking in the remarkable environment we stood in.

“What spirit commands this place?” Solas asked, “I have never seen anywhere like it.”

Sybil looked back and forth between Solas and I, “The stories say you walked out of the Fade at Haven... was it like this?”

“I don’t know, I still can’t remember what happened,” I answered her.

“All I know is we can’t assume we are safe… that huge demon was right on the other side of that rift Erimond was using,” she added

“That’s right!” Alistair jumped in excitedly, “In the real world the rift the Warden's were using was near bye… we can use it… can’t we? To get out?”

Sounded plausible to me, “What do you think Solas? Would that work?”

His gaze drifted off… “theoretically,” he said we a shrug

“WHAT!” You mean we could be stuck here?” Sera added, voice taking on an edge of panic

“Well it certainly beats standing here and waiting for the demons to find us… lets go. I lead the group toward the green rift in the distance.

* * *

The area around us was a mixture of rocky ledges and pools of water… it reminded me of the Fallow Mire, except this place was drenched in a sickening greenish-gray color.

The space opened up and I could see small candles dotting the landscape, as well as random bits of furniture, photos, precious items holding value to those who remember them.

“This is fascinating,” Solas said at my back, “it is not the area I would have chosen of course, but to walk physically within the Fade...”

I heard Sera let out a grunt, “It’s not a friggin stroll,” she cut in, “Shut it! or things will… find us.”

“Calm yourself child, hostile emotions only draw the demons more quickly,” Solas said, face smug.

I honestly couldn’t tell if he was serious or just egging her on.

“This must be a dream come true for you,” Sybil added, gesturing toward Solas

“YES!! literally,” he answered with a giddy chuckle

“Hey… focus on the task at hand Solas, there is nothing more dangerous then this place,” Cassandra’s stoic voice joined the conversation.

“Solas, do you think the Inquisitor’s mark is keeping us alive?” Sybil asked

“Stands to reason,” he answered with another shrug...

I found it heartwarming in a way, watching the joy in Solas’ face. He was ecstatic and even though the timing was off, I loved seeing it.

“Whatever the reason... let’s not test it,” I added, heading up some nearby stairs

“The Fade is shaped by intent and emotion, remain focused and it will lead you where you intend to go,” he advised, seems easy enough, right?

**Solas________________**

I was utterly enticed and marveled by this place, the nuances the small bits of people’s memories.

It was fascinating indeed but also somehow, foreboding, the farther in we journeyed, the stronger the feeling grew.

Stepping into an open space, I felt a sudden surge of power, a spirit nearby… maybe a demon… it was hard to tell.

“Inquisitor, we have been found,” I told her

She immediately went into offensive, pulling her daggers gracefully from her back and strumming them with electricity. Even is the midst of the Fade, this creature drew me to her, power coursed through her like a conduit, so much power and it grew parallel to my own.

Suddenly, I felt the spirit grow closer, just around the next bend…   
“Let me go first,” I said stepping around a jagged mound of rocks and skulls.

There, standing around one of the small tables was a blue glowing figure, it was shaped like a man but larger. It tasted like anger and passion, like vengeance and justice, tangled and massed together.

“Anders?” Hawke said from behind me, before she took off running towards the abomination.

“Solona?” the Warden, Alistair added, taking off after her

It was hard to see through the glow emanating from the creature but as we got closer, I noticed he held a form in his arms. She looked like a child’s doll laying across the creature’s chest.

“What happened?” Arya was asking

The creature tried to speak but what came from it was a howl of grief and pain. It wasn’t speaking in common tongue, perhaps it didn’t know how in this form.

Stepping forward I laid a hand on the creature’s arm, sending magic into it, showing it the path toward calm. Slowly, the blue light faded, and I could make out the form of Anders, the Warden healer… he really was an abomination… interesting.

“We were falling and… I can’t get her to wake up. I tried healing her but it doesn’t work… every time I call my powers Justice takes over and he really doesn’t like this place… something about feeding off the fears of others… he is so angry… I can’t even understand him... can’t hold him back,” the mage said

Feeding off the fears of others? I flashed back to the demon that was haunting Arya back in Haven… I chased it away, locked it within its own realm… if that’s where we are…  if that’s the demon Corypheus was working with... that’d explain his power, fear is a potent fuel.

Solona lay prone in his arms, although similar to Arya, I did not see the resemblance as the others do. Solona tasted different, perhaps the taint but also something more... blood magic, I could sense it, although not in the same way as Tevinter, this was something new, something different it was tied to the taint within her, as the taint grew so did her power.

I called my healing forth and pushed it gently into her body, she absorbed it but didn’t heal, I pushed a little harder but felt the pull of the Fade, against me, Cassandra was correct, this place was dangerous.

“She is not taking the healing, but she isn’t getting worse either, I will monitor her life force but we must continue forth, we need to get out of here,” I told the team

**Arya________________**

Solas’ tone changed, something Anders said made him afraid, he knows what this place is. He dropped his gaze, when I met his eyes. He also wasn’t going to share, not now anyway.  

Turning another bend, I stopped dead in my tracks, I heard the others collide with one another behind me, “What the Shite!” Sera called but I was focused on the figure of Divine Justinia who stood in front of me

Alistair stepped up next to me, “By the Maker, could that be?”

“I greet you Warden, and you, Champion,” the figure said

Heavy footfalls behind me as Cassandra stepped forward, “Divine Justinia, Most Holy?”

“Cassandra,” the figure stated, warmly like addressing a friend.

Turning to look at my friend’s face I was astonished by all the hope I saw within her dark eyes… what if this wasn’t Justinia, would she be crushed?

“Cassandra, you knew Divine Justinia, is this her?” I asked

“I... I don’t know,” her face fell, “it is said the souls of the dead pass through the Fade and sometimes linger... but we know the spirits lie, be weary Inquisitor.”

I felt for her, so much faith in the idea of The Divine, and now to have a spirit mock that faith.

“Considering we know the Divine is dead… I’d wager on spirit,” Alistair chimed in

“Or demon,” Sybil added with a shrug

Cassandra’s eyes moved from one-to-the-other, then dropped, crushed by the coldness in their tones.

“You think my survival impossible, yet here you stand, alive in the Fade yourselves,” the Divine stated, “In truth, proving my existence either way, would require time we do not have.”

“Really? How hard is it to answer one question...? I’m a human and you are…?” Alistair added, sarcasm heavy in his tone

“Things are not always so simple,” Solas added, eyeing her curiously

The Divine shook her head at his comment, “I am here to help you. You do not remember what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes Inquisitor?” she questioned

“No, how do you know that?” I replied

“Your memories were taken, by a demon, Inquisitor, the demon that serves Corypheus,” she explained, “it is the Nightmare you forget upon waking. It feeds off memories of fear and darkness, and it grows fat on the terror. The false calling that terrified the Warden’s into making such grave mistakes? Its work.”

“You mean, a demon put the Calling in our heads?” Alistair asked, running his hand through his disheveled hair.

“Yes, brave Warden, and you will have your chance to revenge your brethren. This place of darkness is its lair.”

“Corypheus sure has a lot of demons at his disposal… how does he command them?” I asked

“I know not how he commands his army of demons. His power may come from the Blight itself,” she answered

Anders stepped up next to me, “There is a mage, a friend, who has been studying the Blight and the power it holds. He is the one who….” His words drifted off as he looked down at Solona, who he still had nestled against his chest.

“You mean that old geezer at Soldiers Peak?” Alistair asked, “She actually took his potion.”

Anders nodded at the other Warden and Alistair gave a disgusted grunt, similar to one Cassandra would have used.

“It is irrelevant, the Nightmare serves willingly, as Corypheus has brought much terror to this world,” the Divine continued, ignoring the sidebar conversation. “He was one of the Magisters who unleashed the first Blight upon this world, was he not? Every child’s cry as the Archdemon circles, every dwarf’s whimper in the Deep Roads… the Nightmare has fed well.”

Next to meet Anders began to glow brightly again, “this demon will die for all the pain it has wrecked, justice will be served.”

“Justice or vengeance?” Sybil mumbled under her breath

“It is sometimes hard to tell where one ends and the other begins,” Solas added

“What about the big demon Erimond was summoning, was that Nightmare? I asked

“Yes,” Justinia answered

“It’s nearby?” I clarified

“Yes,” she replied again

“Well shit,” I heard Alistair say behind me

“When you entered the Fade at Haven, the demon took a part of you. Before you do anything else, you must recover it. These are your memories, Inquisitor,” she gestured to the space around her, as if her word cued the next part of a choreographed dance, small orbs of light appeared.

I took a step toward the closest one and a spirit materialized just above it, like a guardian I needed to defeat in order to prove my worth. We went to work on the numerous ethereal beings blocking me from what I needed. They fizzled out after a few hits, not much of a challenge… did the Nightmare underestimate us or perhaps it wants us to feel overly confident in our abilities.

Once the chaos of the fighting ceased, I felt the orbs calling to me, as I stepped closer, they slid across the ground, as if a magnetic force drew them to me.

The first took me back to the halls of the Temple of Sacred Ashes, I heard a scream and followed it, opening a heavy door to the sight of Divine Justina being held, bound by blood magic as Corypheus spoke to her,

“Now is the hour of our victory,” his voice vibrating my consciousness. It sounded so real, as if he was right there next to me.

“Why are you doing this.. you of all people,” she stated panic causing her voice to tremble.

He words drew my attention the mages whom had her bound, they wore the blue and silver of the Wardens.

Corypheus stepped forward, outstretching the orb, which glowed the same green as the mark on my hand.

“Keep the sacrifice still,” he ordered

“Someone help me!” the Divine yelled as the green light consumed her form.

The memory faded and another took its place, this one was familiar, at least part of it. I stepped through the door, “what’s going on here?” I ask, distracting Corypheus just long enough for Justinia to kick the orb from his hand.

With a clank, like metal on metal, the orb rolled across the ground, I scooped down, grabbing it with my left hand.

“NO!!!” Corypheus yells as the light jumps from the orb to my palm before falling to the ground once again empty.

The memory faded and I found myself looking into the astonished faces of my friends.

“You’re mark didn’t come from Andraste, it came from the orb Corypheus used in the ritual,” Cassandra said, voice disappointed

 We all looked to Justinia for clarification, “Corypheus intended to rip open the Veil, use the Anchor to enter the Fade and throw open the doors of the Black City. Not for the Old Gods but for Himself. When you disrupted his plan, the orb bestowed the Anchor on you instead.”

“So it is like Alexius said, an accident a mistake?” I asked

“And if it was,” she asked

If it was then neither Andraste nor the Maker were in any way involved in this! I am just…..” my words faded off as an odd sense of loss filled me

“If you believe in the Maker, then you believe He made this world and everything within in, including your accident. And if you do not believe then nothing has changed,” she said simply and without emotion. The feeling inside me grew… I felt sick as I stared at this figure of Divine Justinia coldly telling me I was just a mistake….

“You cannot escape the lair of the Nightmare until you regain all that it took from you,” she continued, “You have recovered some of yourself but now it knows you are here. You must make haste. Your grieving will have to come later. I will prepare the way ahead,” and with that the spirit or whatever she was disappeared.

“Perhaps the Maker meant for you to pick up that orb?” Cassandra added either for her comfort or mine

“Lets get the shite outta this place… the friggin fade can suck my lady bits,” Sera added with a shiver

“We still have a way to go,” Solas tossed in his piece, gesturing to the rift in the distance, “more perils lay ahead, of this I am sure.”

Alistair pulled me into the safety of his arms, I took a moment to breath his scent in deeply, even here in the midst of this place he smelled like wood smoke and sandalwood, even in this place he felt like home, like safety. My hold tightened as the unexpected grief set in deeper… what did I believe?

“It will be okay Arya,” he said pulling back far enough to look into my eyes, “it doesn’t matter how you got the mark, what matters is what you have chosen to do with it. The lives you have saved, the future you fight for... our future,” he said breathing across my face and meeting his lips to mine in a gentle kiss.

“What is it Sybil?” I heard Anders ask over Alistair’s mumblings.

“Those were Grey Wardens holding the Divine in that vision,” Sybil spat, “their actions led to her death.”

Alistair pulled away from me, to defend his brethren, “I assumed Corypheus took their minds, as you have seen him do before.”

“That doesn’t make their choices just,” Anders retorted

Sybil took on a defensive stance, opening her mouth to argue or perhaps to defend Anders’ position.

“You two can fight it out another time, you heard the Divine, we must make haste,” Cassandra added

Cassandra lead our party onward, there were still a few more memories for me to recover. Stepping towards them, once again they were drawn in my direction. The first took me back to running, being chased

“This is the Breach back in Haven. This is how we, how I escaped,” I narrated the scene for my companions. I was climbing, at my feet hundreds of spiders scurried after me, reaching for me, trying to pull me down into the darkness. Above me there was a bright light, a silhouette of a women, the closer I climbed the more in focus it came, It was the Divine, she stood atop the steep staircase, reaching for me, “The demons,” she called out a warning. Creating the top step she and I began to run, the spiders were scurrying faster now that we were on level ground. The Breach stood bright and shimmering, as if waiting for us to jump through. Just as we reached it one of the demons grabbed the Divine, dragging her into their grasp, “GO!” she yelled at me and I jumped through the rift and out of the Fade.

The present came back to me slowly, I had to shake my head to ground myself. The spirit Divine stood next to us, “It was you,” I told her, “They thought it was Andraste sending me from the fade, but it was the Divine behind me and then you… she died.”

The spirit Divine, gave a slow nod, “yes,” she replied

“Then you are just a spirit?” Alistair asked

“Didn’t we already know that Alistair,” Sybil added anger still in her voice

“I am sorry to have disappointed you,” spirit Divine replied, before transforming to a glowing form. Hovering above us.

“Are you her?” I asked, “Did you linger here to help me, instead of passing on?”

“If that is the story you wish to tell, it is not a bad one,” spirit Divine replied

“What we do know is that the mortal Divine perished at the Temple, thanks to the Grey Wardens,” Sybil added

“The Wardens responsible for that crime were under the control of Corypheus,” Alistair stepped to the defense again, “Can we perhaps talk about this when we get back to Adamant, Sybil?” he raised his eyebrows in his classic charming way, but she wasn’t biting.

“Oh right, Adamant, where the Inquisition’s forces are currently facing a demon army… one that was also summoned by the Wardens,” she replied.

“Let me remind you, that you are not so innocent yourself… you tore Kirkwall apart and for what? Justice? And don’t even let me get started on how you allowed a terrorist to live after he blew up the Chantry…. Thousands of people were killed due to your choices….” he spewed

“Do not blame Sybil for my wrongdoing,” Anders jumped in, “I was the one who blew up the Chantry, I was the one who started the Mage Rebellion… she was just… just….” His words trailed off as he and Sybil met eyes, “protecting me.”

“Even without the influence of Corypheus the Wardens go too far, they need to be checked. Ali… you are the senior Warden, you should be leading them,” both their eyes fell to Solona, who still laid unconscious on a nearby rock.

“It isn’t like you can just get rid of them. I mean, its never good when the show but they’re supposed to be hero’s,” Sera added

“They might still be useful, what if Corypheus conjures another Blight?” Cassandra added

“Sweet Maker, could both of you just shut up!” I yelled, they were at each other’s throats, “Save the arguing for after we escape from the giant fear demon.”

As if saying his name called his attention, both Ali and Sybil yelled “Inquisitor, behind you!” in unison. Turning, I found we were about to be bombarded by a host of templars…

“Andraste’s tits how did templars get down here,” I yelled

“Templars? You mean giant creepy crawlies?” Sera added

“The foes take on that which we fear… spiders are a common fear for most people,” Solas added

“Templars... really?” Alistair asked with a chuckle, “isn’t that ironic Arya.”

I didn’t reply, as I noticed that all the templars wore the same face… a face I had no name for but has loomed in my unconscious since Ostwick Circle was taken.

The templars or spiders or whatever swarmed us, we were surrounded. Alistair, Sybil and Cassandra jumped into the fray first, swords and daggers blazing. Sera climbed the ledge to get a higher vantage point for her arrows, the familiar whizzing started as she rapid fired on our enemies. Solas, Anders and I brought our magic forward, lighting, fire and ice moving in an elaborate dance around the space.

As the bodies hit the ground, we heard a voice on the air, it moved as if it was part of the space around us… the Nightmares voice, echoed around us, laughing at our struggles.

“Perhaps I should be the one who is afraid, facing the most powerful members of the Inquisition.” The demon’s evil laugh rubbed against us, intimate like a lover’s touch.

“Your Inquisitor is a fraud Cassandra. Yet more evidence there is no Maker. That all your ‘faith’ has been for naught.”

“Die in the Void, Demon!” Cassandra called back, her voice echoing around us.

“Sera, Sera, Sera…. If you shoot an arrow at me, I’ll know where you are.” It whispered, mockingly.

“Out of my head, Bitch-Balls!” Sera yelled back, panic heavy in her words.

“Dirth ma, Harellan. Ma Banal enasalin. Mar Solas ena mar din.” Nightmare chuckled as it spoke to in Elvhen. The only words I understood was Solas.

“Banal. Nadas,” was his reply

“Did the King’s Bastard think he could prove himself? It’s far too late for that now. Your whole life you’ve left everything to more capable hands. The Archdemon, the Throne of Ferelden… the Wardens… who will you hide behind now?” I felt Alistair pause at his words, his gaze falling on me, as if answering the demon’s question.

Is that all it’s got? I’ve heard worse than that from Morrigan,” he called out boasting but his eyes told a different story.

“Did you think you mattered Hawke? Did you think anything you ever did mattered? You couldn’t save your city, your siblings, your mother, even you lover has moved on… How could you expect to strike down a God? Anders will die, just like your family and everyone you ever cared about.”

“Well…. this is going to get tiresome quickly,” Sybil shuddered, and her eyes fell on Anders.

“It is a fear demon, makes sense that it would know exactly where to hurt us most, we must ignore it.” I aimed for comfort

“Fear is a very old, very strong feeling, it predates love, pride, compassion, every emotion say perhaps desire. Be weary the Nightmare will do anything in its power to weaken our resolve,” Solas added.

* * *

 

We continued our trek, Nightmare whispering sweet nothings to us all along. We climbed a stairway that seemed to stretch forever, each step growing heavier as we went.

When it seemed, I couldn’t take another step the stairway leveled out into an expansive space, the middle of which was taken up by a huge spider.

“Think you can fight me?” the Nightmare asked, “I am your every fear come to life. I am the veiled hand of Corypheus himself, the demon army you fear, I command it. They are bound all through me, you cannot defeat me.”

“Ah, so if we defeat you, we defeat them all, thank you… every fear come to life,” spirit Divine said with a sarcastic chuckle.

Nightmare let out a bellow of rage as the huge spider took it’s first swipe at us. We drew our weapons preparing to fight.

Spirit Divine floated ahead of us, “Please tell Leilana, I am sorry I have failed you too,” as she floated between us and the massive demon, her glowing form getting brighter and brighter, blinding us until she or it exploded, dealing a much need blow to our foe.

The rift stood just on the other side of the space, we simply needed to get past the ginormous spider.

Sera, Solas and Cassandra ran ahead just as one of the creature’s huge legs fell between us, splitting our party. “Go!” I yelled to my friends. With a nod, they jumped through the swirling green rift, which shimmered as they passed.

“How will we get by,” Anders asked, still clutching Solona in his arms.

“You go, I will cover you,” Sybil offered up

“No, you were right, the Wardens started this mess a Warden must…” Alistair’s words fell short

“A Warden must help them rebuild,” Sybil argued back, “that’s your job… Corypheus is mine.” She turned to lash out at the demon, distract it so the rest of us could pass….

A glowing hand grabbed her arm stopping her, “I will do it, you have sacrificed enough to protect me let me return the favor…” we all looked to see Anders. His form was fighting against the blue glow of Justice. “this demon will pay for all the pain it has caused,” the abomination yelled.

Tears fell from Sybil’s eyes, “I don’t want to lose you,” she cried to her love.

“Justice has already taken me from you,” the abomination laid a large hand on her cheek, “allow me to do this one thing, one act of decency, you deserve so much more but I can give this, if nothing else… now GO!” he yelled, passing Solona to Alistair and turning his back on us.

“GO!!!”

I grabbed my cousin’s hand and pulled her after us, the green light grew unbelievably bright and then I found myself standing amidst the fighting at Adamant. Without a moment’s breath, I sent my mark into the rift, pulling the strings close and sealing it off behind us.   

 

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	75. Different World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They survived but what does that even mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *this chapter is heavily influenced by the song Different Worlds by Alan Walker- video at the start :) 
> 
> I always found it odd that after learning the truth about where the mark comes from, there isn't much story line around how the Inquisitor feels. I guess if you play a Dalish or Qunari, it makes more sense but if you play a human, especially one who is Andrastian...  
> Anyway, this chapter is meant to express some of the feelings Arya holds about learning the truth and some realizations around life, love and her role.

* * *

 Around me cries of battle paused, swords and arrows landed on empty air, as the demons all disappeared along with the rift, Anders had done it, Nightmare was gone.

Silence fell over the fortress, then an eruption of cheering. The Inquisition soldiers fell to their knees and the Warden’s stood in awe, at what they just witnessed.

I didn’t feel like celebrating, my gaze lingered on the broken bodies, death thick as thieves. And for what? A mistake, I looked at the green mark on my hand and felt sick, all these people thinking I am a holy messenger but I’m not… I’m nothing.

Sybil met my eyes, hers brimmed with tears. In the end he had chosen her, even if she doesn’t see it.

My train of thought was disrupted as Alistair limped toward me. I ran to him; I didn’t realize he was hurt so badly.

“No demon army for Corypheus it appears,” he winced, as my arms wrapped around him, “the Divine, or her spirit, was right... you know that’s not how they will see it, don’t you? They just saw their Inquisitor work another miracle.”

“They need something to believe in,” I replied, but my words sounded hollow. He smiled at me, laid a kiss against my forehead, “I suppose ‘the Inquisitor and her Warden lover escaped by the skin of their teeth,’ he mimicked Varric’s storyteller voice, “wouldn’t be as good for moral.”

His hazel-green eyes were warm and sparkled with laughter, even through my doubt his smile brought forth one from me. “You were going to sacrifice yourself,” I told him.

“I would do anything, if it meant saving you. All these people, Arya, they are here because of you, not because of a mark on your hand, or a divine prophecy, it may have started that way, but now they flock to you… your strength, your leadership, your love. I am just an old Warden; my time is nearing its end. My destiny has already been decided. But you, my love, are young and full of life, you are the one who will stand with them, weather the future, your compassion will transform Thedas. Don’t allow what has transpired here to turn you from your goal, don’t let Nightmare win, don’t feed into it.”

I had no words that spoke my thoughts clearly, or my fears, but his words gave me joy, fear and sadness all together.

“Inquisitor!” A scout yelled as he ran to us, I had completely forgotten that Alistair and I stood in the middle of the Inquisition army and the remaining Grey Wardens.

“The Archdemon flew off as soon as you disappeared. The Venatori Magister is unconscious but still alive. Cullen thought you might wish to deal with him yourself. As for the Wardens, those who weren’t corrupted did help us fight the demons.” he explained, briefing me as well as reminding me of my duty.

One of the Warden’s stepped forward, “We stand ready to make up for our tragic mistake,” he offered

“Where are the others?” Cassandra asked running toward us

Alistair and I looked at each other

“Warden Anders sacrificed himself so we could escape, and to strike a blow against Corypheus’s power base in the fade,” Sybil spoke to the crowd

“Warden Amell, was gravely wounded and is being cared for by the healers,” Alistair added.

“Alistair, you are the senior surviving Grey Warden, what do we do now?” one of the Warden’s asked.

He looked at me for the answer, the Nightmare’s words echoed in my mind. “That is up to you Alistair,” I said with a shrug, putting the choice back in his capable hands. He may lack confidence in himself, but capability is not a factor, the people love him. The Wardens trust him, and the people of Ferelden will rally to his call, if he but makes it.

“If the Inquisitor will have us, we will stay and help in anyway we can, we started this mess after all,” he replied

“Alistair has faith in you all and I trust him. You may be vulnerable to Corypheus and his Venatori, but there are plenty of demons that need to be killed,” I called to the expecting crowd.

Solas let out an exacerbated sigh, he didn’t trust them.

“After all they have done you will give them the chance?” Cassandra questioned

“They have made grave mistakes, that is a fact, but let us remember all the good they have done. If it weren’t for the Wardens, we would not even be standing here today. It is through their bravery and sacrifice that all of us, elf, human, and dwarf are alive today. It is because of them we have this land to call home, and I will not let all that be forgotten.” I called to the ranks, ignoring the disgruntled faces of my companions, and the ranks replied with applause.

“Thank you, Your Worship,” the Warden’s said in unison, taking a knee, “Our lives are yours; we will not fail you.”

“While they help you, I will need to report this all to Weisshaupt, we will not be caught with our trousers down again,” Alistair added, sad eyes meeting mine… this meant he’d be leaving again.

Alistair’s arms found mine again, “I will not leave right away, see to your people, I will come find you later.”

* * *

 It seemed like the night went on forever, but perhaps that was just because the light was blocked behind smoke and dust from the crumpling fortress. Our people were sent to find survivors and bring them to the makeshift infirmary, Solas and Fiona had set up.

I found myself walking amongst my fallen people, these people had died for me, for us and I didn’t even know them. I was feeling angry, lost, despair hung with me, what had I become and was it what I wanted… who I wanted to be?

My eyes darted across the battlefield, looking for movement but I saw nothing. “there is life here,” a soft, musical voice came from inside my head, “I can feel it, let me look.”

I happily stepped inside myself allowing my once best friend to take the reins. Lila easily could tell the state of each body, alive, dead, able to be saved or perhaps needing a quick death to end the pain.

“I can help too,” another voice came from behind me, “hurts… so much… can’t breathe… make it stop…. I …. dead,” Cole was with us.

We walked through the fortress’s dark halls in silence, all except Cole’s mutterings. Lila and Cole found several who need the “help” Cole offered but none that could be saved, just as I was about to exit the fortress back into the field, I felt it… a flicker of life.

“There,” Lila pointed to a mound of those who had fallen, “underneath, the bodies of the others kept her safe.”

Cole and I ran over, moving the dead weight to the side and found a familiar face, it was Harding. Her eyes brightened when she saw us, “Inquisitor,” she said breathlessly. We pulled her small form free and assessed her wounds. She had some broken ribs but would be fine. I pushed my healing magic into her small chest and felt the bones mending, snapping back into place. She sucked in a deep breath and let out a laugh, which bounced off the walls, seeming to lighten the space, even for just a moment.

“Thank the Maker you found me, I couldn’t get out from under them,” she said.

“You still need further healing, Cole can you escort her to the Infirmary?” I asked

I stood at the broken entrance to Adamant Fortress and watched as Cole helped a limping Harding walk across the battlefield to our encampment. In the East a small glimmer of light appeared, the sun was rising, we had survived…. well some of us.

* * *

 Movement behind me caused me to turn, there at the back of the first room stood a familiar form, lines of silent tears the only clean part on a dirty face. He raised golden eyes to me and the moment they met, I was in his arms.

Perhaps I fade stepped, perhaps not, I don’t remember… a wave of feelings flowed through my body, feelings that had no name, no words to match them.

He spoke first, “I thought I lost you… again, I searched and searched but you were gone,” the words came out almost angry. I raised my face from his cold plated armor and what I saw in his eyes, ripped my heart from my chest…he was pulling away, I could see it in his golden depths.

“I can’t do this Arya, my love for you is too much, you come first in everything, before my duty. I allowed men to die, while I searched for you, but my love is a poison, I am broken, I have more demons inside of me than any army Corypheus could raise. I have to step away.”

His lips met mine, fierce, like only he can do. He lifted me into the air and spun us behind one of the nearby walls. The tattered remnants of my tunic ripped away easily in his strong hands, as he held me firmly between himself and the wall. Desire flooded through me, pushing aside the pain, the despair, the loss. In that moment, all I wanted was to feel him inside of me, taste his lips on mine, smell his breath on my face.

“Cullen,” his name fell from my lips, dripping in need. He fumbled removing his armor, but I felt his heat against my thighs, he was hard and ready. “Arya,” he breathed before claiming my lips again, rougher this time, the passion fueling him on. He slid himself inside me, slowly, as if cherishing the last bite of some decedent Orlesian dessert. Once he was sheathed completely, an animalistic growl rumbled through his chest. His movements grew faster, and he held me tighter against the wall, fingertips digging into my hips. His eyes met mine, they burned golden like the sun rising at our backs. “Look at me,” he demanded, using one hand to hold my chin firmly in place. My body started to spasm, “Cullen,” I moaned, cueing him to the proximity of my climax. “Release it Arya, release it all, let me bring you a moments peace in all this death,” he whispered.

I screamed as my orgasm took me spiraling off into bliss, his release came just at as mine was ebbing, hot seed filling me, dripping down my already slippery thighs.

He collapsed against me, the wall holding us both upright. Once his breathing calmed, he cleared his throat to speak, “Arya, I will always love you, you deserve the world and who am I to give it to you? I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what path is the correct one, I am so lost, and I don’t want to come to you as a lost man, a tortured man, I want to be full and whole and able to give you everything you deserve…. but I am not that man, not right now.”

I was crying now, pain searing through my chest, I was just as lost and now I was losing him too. Why did it hurt so bad?

He just held me against him and we both cried, about each other, about the bodies of our people lying all around us, the broken fortress, the shattered dreams, the demons both real and within our minds. We cried because this world was not the one we sought to build, this darkness wasn’t where we wanted to be, stumbling over the last bits of hope. The weight of the worlds fate was getting unbearably heavy.


End file.
